***

[ T <•> I ]

I: where are your spectacles?

T: my specs got broken in that last kidnapping so I have to wear contacts instead.

I: such a shame. You looked adorable in them.

T: and do I not look adorable anymore?

I: you're still a pretty boy but I like you more in glasses.

T: hadn't known your type would be the nerd.

I: glasses, a lopsided grin, large blue eyes and a cute little dimple on the left cheek. That's my type.

T: so in other words, me.

I: shut up, you narcissistic piece of shit.

T: I haven't yet seen your face fully but you're still my type.

***

I: and I'll just pretend this conversation never happened.

T: ...

T: if that's what helps you sleep at night, sure sweetheart.

I: I do not sleep at night, idiot, I'm out there saving your ass from hitting the ground after a fifty foot fall.

T: and also because you're nocturnal.

I: you could say that.

***

I: so apparently, Red Robin is back.

T: nooooo. I won't let you break up with me over him.

I: about 80% of the time, I have no idea whether you're always drunk texting me or are just really bad at making jokes.

T: tell me he hasn't proposed to you or asked you out, please...

T: 😢

I: how many times do I have to tell you that I despise his existence and would never ever go out with him.

T: sometimes I get insecure.

I: yeah right, you're definitely drunk again this time. Go to bed and sleep off the hangover, okay? And take an aspirin for the headache.

T: okay.

T: but you're not going out with him, right?

I: if you don't go to sleep right now, I'll borrow Harley's hammer and knock you out with it.

T: if that means I'll get to see you before I slip into the abyss of eternal darkness, then please do.

I: I don't know if I should hug you right now for being so adorable, or...

T: screw the other option. I'm badly in need of a hug.

I: the other option was throwing Red Robin off a roof next time I see him but if you're so insistent...

T: screw off the other option.

I: as you wish, love.

***

T: mon amour?

I: I told you specifically to call me Ren, not serenade me with these new incomprehensible names everyday.

T: Meine Liebe?

I: no.

T: Il mio amore?

I: what is wrong with you?

T: Amica mea?

I: I get it, you're drunk.

T: tienes razon mi amor.

I: so I had to download Google translate and it looks like you're having a stroke in five different languages.

T: No és un ictus, però potser un atac de cor.

I: where the fuck are you? Tell me and I'll be there in five.

T: gargoyle number 3, Gotham tower.

T: son nom est Goliath.

I: you're unbelievable.

T: Ja olet ihana.

I: I know you're multilingual so there's no need to rub it in my face. And don't you dare step off that gargoyle.

T: Ah, les choses que je fais par amour.

I: if you say amour one more time, I'll punch you so hard that either you'll get sober or you'll start looking like a gargoyle yourself.

T: Sarei onorato, mia signora.

***

I: Red Robin is a narcissistic piece of shit.

T: excuse me? I thought I was a narcissistic piece of shit?

I: you are one too but he's even worse.

T: just don't ever apply the equation of transitive identities. (This message has been deleted).

I: wait...

I: you aren't Red Robin, are you?

T: sweet holy Jesus, no!

I: good.

I: because I hate Red Robin.

T: but you don't hate me, right?

I: of course not. You're my one and only damsel in distress, how can I ever hate you?

***

I: so I've a theory which might concern both you and Red Robin.

T: it's still a theory, not proven yet.

I: I didn't even say anything yet.

T: oh my bad, go on.

I: you and Red Robin have the same voice

T: well...

I: the same height

T: I don't think so...

I: the same attitude

T: um... I don't like where this is going.

I: hold on

T: what?

I: no, he's on patrol and you're texting me so obviously the theory isn't correct.

T: and where are you?

I: on the same building he's perched up on. Looks like the poor chap doesn't have a clue.

I: oh shit, he fell.

I: hey, where'd you go, Timbelina?

T: don't catch him, I entreat you. And I hate that nickname.

***

[ T <•> B ]

B: how are you?

T: fine, you?

B: I heard you had been abducted by Black Mask's gang.

B: Dick said you had been tortured.

T: that was a week ago, Bruce, I'm okay now.

B: the meetings in Metropolis are taking too long or else I would have come home soon as I could.

T: it's okay, take your time.

B: How's Wayne Tech doing?

T: absolutely fantastic.

T: Kord Tech agreed for an alliance so once you come back, we will have to arrange a meeting with them as well. And then there are preparations for the Fall Gala but that's something we should discuss in person.

B: right. I'll be back soon.

T: sure, have a great day. And don't stress over the missions. Gotham is doing perfectly fine as well.

B: I know.

***

B: why are you not in your office?

T: Bruce, hi... When did you come back from Metropolis?

B: this morning.

B: where are you?

T: I'm working elsewhere. 

B: where?

T: LexCorp.

T: but I can assure you that I haven't neglected Wayne Tech at all. I regularly attend the meetings and visit the labs. Everything is going perfectly alright.

B: should I be worried?

T: of course not, I'm just gaining a little extra experience.

B: fine.

***

T: you're not angry at me, are you?

B: of course not, son.

***

B: I am surprised why Luthor hasn't kicked you out yet.

T: because technically I'm not working under him.

B: so you applied for the new department which his daughter has been operating.

T: yup.

T: though I was removed from there because according to his daughter, I'm a little too advanced for them. She switched my post and now I am working in their think tank.

B: what!

T: yeah, I know. I will get fired soon.

B: your old post at Wayne Tech is always open for you.

T: I know that.

T: thanks, Bruce.

B: you're welcome, kid.

***