***

[ T <•> J ]

J: the gremlin has been looking for you.

T: shit.

T: don't tell him where I am, please.

J: sure bud.

J: I sent him the location instead.

T: what the fuck, Jason?

J: you're welcome.

J: this is what you get for not saving coffee for me at breakfast.

T: I had said I was sorry!

T: there was no need to set the gremlin on me.

T: shit, he's outside.

J: enjoy the brotherly bonding, kiddo.

T: I hate you.

J: the feeling is mutual.

***

J: either you're changing out of that shirt or I'm gonna have to do something.

T: why? I like this shirt.

J: has anyone ever told you that even a grandma would have better style sense than you.

J: you're an absolute dunce when it comes to fashion.

T: you're no fashion god either so...

J: say that to my Instagram followers, bitch!

J: I'm giving you five minutes. If you haven't changed by then, I'll rip it off.

T: no... Don't you dare...

J: yeah right, go cower behind Dickybird. He won't be able to save you either.

***

T: that was a hundred and fifty, Todd.

J: a hundred ad fifty what? Dollars or push ups?

T: squats.

J: pay up.

***

T: why the fuck did you blow up the Bowery?

J: that's for me to know and you to stay the fuck out of.

T: Jay, if Bruce finds out...

J: who's gonna tell him anyway?  You?  I don't think so. You're not that stupid to die so young.

T: he has other resources too, y'know.

J: for example?

T: Damian.

J: fuck.

J: do you know where the little demon is? I might have to lock him up for a while.

T: gladly. He's on his way to the Bat Cave so you have exactly five minutes to abduct him.

J: on it. 

***

[ T <•> I ]

T: I still don't know why I'm texting you.

I: just admit it, Timbelina, you've grown attached to me.

T: no way.

I: yes way.

***

T: okay so I know why I text you and keep talking to you.

I: because you're in love with me?

T: no.

T: because you don't treat me like others do.

I: yeah, I treat you like a piece of garbage and that's what makes you want to talk to me.

T: it's refreshing.

I: being treated as garbage? Are you okay?

T: trust me, when one has been living under the spotlight for so long, becoming garbage is highly tempting.

I: oh right, I forgot I was talking to a lost case again.

***

I: do you listen to music?

T: yup.

I: what genre?

T: goth rock.

I: like Evanescence goth rock?

T: it's phenomenal.

I: and a tad bit suicidal.

T: not at all, Ren, you're missing out on life if you haven't yet heard Evanescence.

I: oh I have, actually.

T: really?

I: give me the first verse and I'll name the song. If I get all of them right, you'll meet me at the rooftop tomorrow.

T: aw come on, you don't have to win a competition to see me. You can simply ask. Whenever you want, I'll be there.

I: are you going to give me any lyrics or not?

T: Don't cry to me, if you loved me.

I: Call me when you're sober.

T: noted.

I: hey, that's the name of the song.

T: yeah, that too.

***

T: stop, I get it. You know every Evanescence song. Just stop making me Google the lyrics.

I: you lose.

I: besides I didn't ask you to keep this up for so long. By now, I've been googling the results as well.

T: what! That's cheating.

I: I don't always play fair, Timmy boy. And neither do you.

***

T: what kind of music do you listen to?

I: Halsey.

I: Demi Lovato.

I: Imagine Dragons.

I: my playlist is never ending.

T: and irrespective of genre, I suppose.

I: yup, I'm versatile.

***

I: I fucking hate Batman.

I: and his stupid little costumed freak club.

I: I wish they would all disappear some day and leave me be.

T: there's no need to get so bitter now.

I: the only one I can tolerate out of them is Red Hood.

T: ...

T: not a really preferable choice but okay.

I: the others are so stuck up. Don't kill, don't hurt, don't do anything so that justice prevails.

T: what happened?

I: I was helping a girl who would have been kidnapped otherwise.

T: that wasn't just some girl, Ren. That was Harley Quinn and saving her would only get you in trouble.

I: how can you know it was Harley Quinn and not Poison Ivy?

T: because you've been on the news for an hour now.

I: what!

I: I hate the press.

I: nosy little no gooders.

T: as much as I would like to second that, I have a meeting in a couple minutes.

I: oh.

I: best of luck.

***

I: so tonight the Bats thought it would be fun to send Red Robin to spy on me.

T: poor bloke.

I: exactly. I left him hanging upside down from a hundred foot building.

I: plus he was tied up so he wouldn't have gotten down any sooner.

T: go check, I think he would have.

I: ...

I: shit, he's not there.

T: told you. The Bats are unpredictable.

I: and you happen to know a lot about them...

T: what can I say? I've lived in Gotham more than you.

I: hey, you don't know that!

T: honey, I know you're new to Gotham. No need to pretend.

I: shut your pretty mouth up or I'll tie you upside down for a change.

T: but you are new to Gotham, right? Because no one else would mistake Arkham Asylum for a haunted house made for commercial entertainment.

I: I said shut up.

T: my lips are sealed.

***

T: so I had a very weird dream last night...

I: enlighten me.

T: well, I was up on the rooftop as usual and felt that it would make a great slide. But just as I tried to see if I was right or not, you caught me halfway down as usual and yelled that it was the seventh time this week.

I: that wasn't a dream, dumbass. You really did slide down the roof of Wayne Tower. And the most surprising part was that you yelled YOLO before doing so.

T: so it wasn't a dream?

I: no, my ears are still ringing with that high pitched scream you uttered seconds after.

T: and did we really kiss before you put me down? And I mumbled I hate you in French instead of I love you?

I: ...

T: je te déteste, je t'aime, mon amour?

I: no?

T: so that was a dream. Told you it was weird.

***