chapter two: welcome home, Naty

             THE VICTOR TRAIN LEFT THE Capitol two days after her interview, a team of Capitol healers, her mentor and Talia aboard it as a parade of makeuped and dyed people saw them off on live television.

It took another two, long days for the locomotor to reach the main village of District Four, the village she grew up in. The hours consisted mostly of Talia trying to lure her out of her room with food, healers barging in without announcement to bandage her sun burns and remind her not to mess with the peeling skin, and Brandon Cressler in the room next to her throwing things at the wall at all hours just to drive her insane.

She hadn't slept, not since her interview. Every time she closed her eyes the images of her killing eleven innocent people danced in her head. And then guilt would come tumbling after it like a waterfall, and a new found self hatred that pulled her apart like a rip current pulled a small child away.

She had murdered them in brutal ways, creatively brutal really, something she never knew she could be capable of. Something she knew would eat her for the rest of her life, something..something she was proud of in a sick, sick way. Proud because she had done it, she had proved all of them wrong, everyone in the capital who thought she wouldn't survive through the opening, everyone who wouldn't be her sponsor, all of the game makers that gave her such low scores, all of the tributes in the arena..hell, she had probably even proven people wrong at home. 

Home. Where she would be celebrated in an even sicker way for killing an amount other people that she had lost track of, and for letting her brother (for all intents and purposes) die. Where she would have to face Marley after she had made her a silent promise to bring back her boyfriend. Where she would have to face Asen and Catelyn. Where she would have to face everybody. Where she had left a fifteen year old girl, and would be coming back someone else entirely. Someone who had done vicious and horrible things to people she didn't even know, people who were just trying to get home to their families. 

Deep down Naty knew that as much as she tried, no matter how much sameness of her old day to day routines she rediscovered, she would never be the same. 

She had left Naty, and it seemed to her that she was coming back Natasha. And she didn't like who Natasha was. 

The train would pull into District Four in maybe less than two hours and the girl still couldn't bring herself to leave her bed. It was still dark, the early morning twilight surrounding them as the train was the only thing breaking the still of what was probably a perfect night. And for once in the past three days, it seemed that she was even beginning to doze off in a much needed sleep, things were quiet, no workers walking about, no Talia, no healers..no nothing... until something loud crashed against the wall behind her. 

With a growl of anger and frustration, the girl heaves herself off of the bed for the first time since shed been on the train, not noticing the ache of her burnt skin that cried out for her to lay back down and not move as she made her was across her room and to the door. Without a second thought, she threw open the door to Brandon's room, catching the boy by surprise. She caught the ball that he had thrown against the wall as she rushed towards him, at first she was only going to yell at him, and she stopped, hovering over him, her chest heaving as words she couldn't begin to find struggled to come out, and instead of speaking, the girl throws the ball at him, watching as it bounces off his forehead before turning and leaving, hoping he hadn't noticed the tears in her eyes. 

"Natasha?" He calls after her, but she ignores him, pretending she couldn't hear the surprise in her voice as she rushes back into the hallway and into her room, making sure the door locks behind her. 

She couldn't really remember what happened after that, but at some point, the sky turned to a light shade, signaling the rising of the sun and not too long after that, Talia was at her door, pounding on it. Natasha had no choice but to open up, she was too tired to fight with the woman, and just wanted to get off the damn train already. 

The older woman gives the girl a sad kind of look as she steps into the room, closing the door behind her. The healers could bother them once they were off the train. "The train will be stopping in half an hour.." She says, going over to the closet to pull out something for the girl to wear. She knew it was still warm in Four, so she gave her just a simple sun dress, so that she wouldn't have too much friction on the quickly healing sun burn that still adorned her body. "Now, the celebration won't be until tonight, and Rowena will be on the train behind us, it should come in sometime this afternoon, so you'll have time to rest up and eat a good meal, okay?" She didn't know when she had become so motherly, but she just couldn't help it. Not when the girl before her looked so helpless. 

"Okay.." Is all Natasha can say, she had been told yesterday that her brother and sister in law had been set up in the victor village already, and that the babies had been born perfectly healthy. Catelyn had given Asen a son and a daughter, who they had named Morgan and Mordecai, after her and Asen's mom and dad.

The half an hour passed by rather quickly, and just as Naty was slipping on some sandals, she felt the train pull to a stop, and immediately rushed to the doors, ready to get off. She didn't care that her hair was a mess or that she looked frightening with her somewhat peeled and still red skin. She wasn't expecting anyone to be waiting for her anyway, it was still early, that time between the night and the morning where the sky is still dark but beginning to lighten minuet by minuet, which was why she was surprised when the train doors opened. 

At first, she didn't notice the tall, brooding looking man standing with his arms crossed over his chest, and she jumped off, not listening to the calls of her mentor or her escort. She just wanted to go home. But when the man called out to her in a shaky voice, one that she hadn't heard since her parents died, she couldn't hep but take notice, and on instinct she couldn't help but run into his arms, feeling somewhat safe for the first time in weeks. 

"Asen..i'm sorry..i'm sorry." She wasn't sure what she was apologizing for, maybe for not being here to help deliver, or maybe for not letting him come and say goodbye to her. She didn't want to risk her emotions getting in the way of her already strong front. 

She felt her brothers arms tighten around her, the friction of it causing her skin to cry out, but god she didn't care. She was home, and he was here. She was safe for the time being. "You're okay now, Naty, you're okay.." Was all he could say, feeling the way his sisters body was shaking. He wasn't sure what from, but he could only imagine it was from fear, or something far worse..he couldn't imagine that she would ever be the same girl after what she had done and seen in that arena. "Come on, lets get you home, okay?" All she could do was nod and follow him as he lead her along an unfamiliar path towards the victor village. 

She had only ever seen victor village from afar, she had never wanted to approach it. There weren't many victors, at least not many that were still alive, so a good number of the homes sat empty, the large vastness of them looking decrepit and lonely. 

Asen lead her towards one of the smaller ones, still large, but smaller by comparison to some of the of the others, and she couldn't believe that she was actually about to call it home. It was still too dark to really take in the outside, and the inside wasn't lit up yet, but it smelled like seasalt, and the ocean breeze, something she relished, and she felt as if the house was warm and inviting, even though none of their stuff was completely unpacked yet, and they had only been there for a day. 

As he lead her up the stairs, and showed her to a room that had the most beautiful view of the ocean she could have asked for, her brother said the words she never thought she'd hear again. 

"Welcome home, Naty." 

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hi bbys! so after careful consideration (and a lil nudge from my bestfriend @-ravenclaws ) ive decided to continue with naty! now, this book is most likely going to be full of depressing misery, with little to no happiness, so if you're not cool with that, I would leave right about now.