After I wrote this book I've had some things happened and because this is my story, I need to share my life.

You know it's been almost 3 years since I was in that hospital, and I've grown, but I still have that depression. I live with depression every day of my life.... no one in my life knows that accept for people online and family.
I've gone black a few times on here and you guys probably noticed.... if my profile picture is black, it usually means that someone important is leaving me or trying to die or leave.. I've had few people wanting me to talk to them.... you know I only have for special friends on here... I seem to find these people that can't open up, that have anger issues and just depression and trust issues... they somehow also become special to me I seem to open up to them so easy but they just can't open up to me because their trust issues make them not able to, and I don't blame them, but it still hurts. I've had 2 of these special friends leave..... and you see with my parents I have barely any social media AND GOD DAMNIT WHEN I FUCKING TURN 18, IM GETTING MY SOCIAL MEDIA BACK AND IM GETTING A NEW FUCKING PHONE AND I AM GOING TO BE BACK, IM GONNA GET DISCORD AND ACTUALLY SPEAK TO THE FRIENDS WHO LEFT SO YOU BEST NOW THAT SOON IM GONNA BE SO FUCKING HAPPY!
Anyways... they left and I don't have any way to contact them right now... and it hurts me that FUCKING WATTPAD HAS BECOME FUCK TOXIC!! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED WATTPAD WHAT THE FUCKING HELL HAPPENED!!!!??? This place was my safe zone, not just mine but other people to... they came here to get away from that shit on other social medias AND YET! That has corrupted Wattpad! And now people are almost killing themselves or are dead because of this app... THE FUCK!
You know what I want to start something
#MakeWattpadASafePlace
Anyone that is reading this I want you to make a book or chapter of just explaining how Wattpad has badly effected you and tell those assholes who have hurt you how much it's effected you and what you wish Wattpad would do to make this place a safe and positive environment! It may not do anything but TRY, please try. I want you all to try, because I'm tired of Wattpad being a shity Hell whole for some people.... maybe if Wattpad sees how toxic this place has become.. maybe they'll do something....

But Back to what I was originally talking about.... my depression goes like this....

One person I'm messaging
"How are you?"

"I'm great"
Another I'm talking to

"I can't do it anymore"
"Goodbye"

"no......."
"Please......don't leave...please.."

Myself & myself when I miss their announcement and they might be dead or I wasn't there for them

What did I do wrong? Please answer... don't do this to me..... why can't I help? I want to help... I can't do anything right..... why can't I make them stay?.... I should have been their..... I'm such a bad friend.....

Then I start to brake down I feel like a horrible person and I go black.... it's something I can't help.... as most of you may see my location is "Alone Crying" because usually I'm alone crying a lot more than my friends on here would want me to and I a lot more than my friends may know... I can be depressed by nothing too... sometimes I just hate myself.... and that's the truth... and I'm sorry if I don't talk about it it's just when I explain it to one person I don't want to explain it to another....

Thanks for reading