The new year started, 9th grade, I was sure I wasn't gonna make friends and then my fake side kick in again.
I keep saying fake, so let me explain this. I was the girl who talked to much, I was the bitch who annoyed everyone.
You see the year wasn't going to well I had friends but not friends. I had said something texting them and one of their went off. I had said bitch because they were being so rude and I just hated it so much but her friend didn't have to go off like she did! She took the word bitch and really used it, she cussed me out and said things that really hurt, and I accidentally thought my other friend was in it but she wasn't I was being stupid saying her name but it worked out my consular took care of it.
I had discovered a new online platform and I had "friends" one I still speak with today, CrasherDasher28 and I had one other person. My first best friend, I opened up to him and I don't know why I just trust him so much even though he was online he was there... I had done some things that weren't go on the internet.... so that's why I only have wattpad and YouTube now.
Basically my parents found out a week before my 16th birthday and the I got sent to a short term mental health hospital. I spent a week there and fucking hate it!
Then I did it again I bragged being for help. I got a therapist after this, and you see I remember I did bad things on the internet that I will not go into detail about but am sure it's happening so much more often rn especially for middle schooler now. Everything I did is now truly a blur I remember it but I don't remember it I know I did it, but I don't remember, which is so GOD DEMN HARD to explain to my therapist and I still have the same therapist I had at that time.
I went off the rails after this being so, dark and lonely without the only real friends that were online. I keep trying to find any way to talk to them and I just started to do the bad things I did before like and old habit...
One night I freaked out over something stupid, I ran up stairs grabbed a sharpie and wrote on the walk behind my bed a suicide note, I then went into to the bathroom and grabbed the face medicine off the counter and closed the door locking it and I took about three hand fulls of medicine.... I was so lucky I just got really sick... my parents didn't find out for a while... then they found that I stole a phone to talk to my friends and I did some bad things again... I don't know what the fuck was wrong with me I guess it was my way for rebelling...
I went to the therapist office and my step mom had the phone and they talked to my therapist and things just broke in a snap! My therapist called the police and my dad... he is as big a a football player... he dragged me out of the therapist office and I got to ride in the back of a police car....

Something I forgot to say.
MY FUCKING ASSHOLE OF AN AUNT DIDNT INVITE OR EVENTELL ME ABOUT MY GRANDMAS FUNERAL!
She was like my mom and my fucking thinks that my other sister who physically HURT my grandma cared more than me, about my grandma.... next time I'm see my aunt I'm gonna slap her I don't care what my family thinks she fuck deserves it! I don't think I will ever forgive her because THAT UNFORGIVABLE! TAKING MY MOMS ASHES AND TOSSING THEM OFF A MOUNTAIN WITH MY SISTER WHO LIED TO MY MOM THE MOST AND MY SISTER WHO HIT HER!
Not even telling me the girl who had grown up with her grandma since she was 6 months old.... I. HATE. HER!

I really do guys