(chapter thirteen)

tw: emotional and physical abuse

The dress hanging from the back of her door mocked her as she couldn't sleep. The moonlight shining on her bed as Clara turned around one more time.

Clara used to love the idea of midsummers when she was younger, fooling around with her best friends, but she guesses that her distance with Rafe also changed that.

Rose used to smile and encourage the two to go together, and she loved even more when they were the ones to pick her up so she didn't need to hear the criticism of Susan about everything. And arriving with the three Camerons was a plus.

When Rafe distanced away from her that also changed. She wasn't his date anymore, so there was no need for the two to arrive together. Clara had to go with her mother sticking strictly at the woman's side, therefore the brown haired girl grew to despise the party.

It was just another event for the people that see each other everyday to brag about they accomplishments and talk bad about everyone else.

It was just for looks, like always.

So she thought just maybe this year would be different. They were in talking terms again and much older. They were something.

Something...

Clara also hated labels. It didn't matter that Susan was her mother when she abused mentally and physically of the girl. It didn't matter Richard being her father only to leave her and start a new family where she didn't fit.

It didn't matter her best friends when they were all avoiding her. Grace and Sarah hadn't answered her once, and the events of that night told her she wasn't on good terms with the boys either.

Labels only existed to hurt more.

The thoughts were cut short when she heard two taps on her window, and when Clara looked there was Rafe, giving her a tight lipped smile and a wave of two fingers.

She pushed herself from the bed, opening it and stepping back so he could enter her room. The moment his feet touched the ground he looked around. It had been the first time in years since he was there. However his heart dropped slightly of how less of a teenage room it looked.

The cold white walls, white sheets and desk. No decoration was hung up, no pictures around, just a black TV and notebook on the table. Nothing. The only thing that reminded him of that was a teenage room was the mushroom luminaire and her bunny plushie on her bed. Captain Hopps, he remembered.

Rafe also remembered it being surrounded by colors, the many stuffed animals and the decorations. And where were all of her books?

It definetly didn't feel like a home.

Rafe's eyes drew back to her as she fidget with her rings to make the unexpected presence less awkward.

"I'm sorry," he started, making her eyes to return to his, as he sat down beside her. "Please don't avoid me."

She stared back at him, and he could see the amount of thoughts were running around her head, framed by two tired eyes and dark eyebags.

"I go to you to avoid fights, Rafe." Clara's voice was small, as her fingers were still turning around one of the loose rings. "I hate fights."

He nodded, scratching the back of his head. "I know that, but we had to do something."

"You were congratulating Topper for almost killing Pope, do you think that this is right?"

"Do you think it's fair for Topper to have a gun unlocked pressed against his head because of a fight?" He asked back, seeing her close her mouth. "They didn't hesitate to try to kill him. We weren't trying to kill them, we wanted to give a little scare so they couldn't think they could do whatever they wanted with no consequences."

His voice raised slightly, and Clara felt her heart beating fast. What if Susan or Steven heard?

Pressing her hand on his mouth she looked at him with wide eyes, so he shut up immediately. Standing there for a minute with no sound coming from the hallway made Rafe move her hand carefully from his mouth, as he continued now in a more hushed voice.

"I'm sorry you had to presence that, and I'm sorry for hurting you, but I'm not sorry for looking out for Topper." Clara closed her eyes. She had heard that one before not too long ago coming from JJ's mouth. "Be mad at me as long as you want, but please don't leave."

And there it was. The Rafe she knew. The one he didn't dare to show to anyone else, his vulnerable side, and his real one.

"I could never leave you," she answered, giving his hand a squeeze. His shoulders relaxed, as he stared at her before leaning in.

Clara closed her eyes as his lips met hers, moving one of his hands to the back of her head, and she could swear she felt him sigh in relief when their lips parted.

"We're still good for tomorrow?" He asked lowly, and she bobbed her head.

Rafe's hand that were resting on her cheek trailed down her neck, brushing the star pendant with his fingers, and he smilled at her tired eyes staring at him back, the moonlight rays on her skin and hair.

What a sight to look at.

The smile on his face widened as he laid back in one of the pillows, kicking his shoes from his feet.

"You need to leave, though," she said when he started moving to make himself comfortable on the bed, and the boy shook is head in disagreament. "My mother will be so fucking mad, Rafe."

"She doesn't know and I'll leave before she wakes up," he assured her, grabbing the blue bunny on his hands and placing on his chest. The plushie's eyes turned to her as he played with the ears. "Just until you're asleep? You look like you need it."

Clara rolled her eyes but laid down beside him, giving in. The boy pushed the stuffed animal to her arms as he wrapped her in his.

And Clara hated the fact that his perfume made her body relax immediately, and with the way his fingers were caressing the skin of her hip she was quickly found herself falling asleep.

++++

The curling iron was heating on the sink as she moved around the room. When Susan opened the door of her room Clara's eyes shot open scared that Rafe would still be there, but there was only the blue bunny where he was.

She knew she had to get ready, seeing that Susan had a serious expression on her face when the woman left on the bed the dark blue flower arrange that would be on her hair.

But before she could enter her bathroom again the doorbell ringed, and Steven called out her name.

"Oh, Rafe." Susan said walking up to the door, eyebrows furred.

"Mrs Hughes, I'm sorry for showing up unannounced, but my father wanted the house for himself to do the last touches to the speech," he explained, a polite smile on his face. "And he said he also wanted to pick up Clara for the pictures, so I hope you don't mind that I wait here?"

"Of course," the woman smiled, stepping back so the boy could enter the house. "You can wait with Clara. She's still doing her hair, but I'm sure that's not going to be a bother."

Clara didn't need to see her mother's look as she skipped the last steps of the stairs and dragged the boy back to her room.

When the door closed his hands quickly found themselves at her waist.

"How convincing was that?" He asked, while her hands rested on his shoulders, giving him a small smile

"You just can't stay away from me, can you?" She teased, as the boy sealed their lips.

Truth be told she was right. Rafe wanted to be around her as much as he could. Clara was the answer for being away from his father and anyone else for that matter, and he enjoyed being in her arms more than anything else.

Clara was intoxicating, and he was an addict.

"I just need to finish my hair," she said while stepping back to her bathroom.

Rafe looked around the room once more. It was just as bad at day like it was at night. He understood now when she said she would much rather sleep in the couch than sleep at her bedroom.

Almost like Susan was ready to dispatch the girl the second she was accepted at an university.

Call him crazy, but it looked more like an asylum room than one that suppose to make her feel at ease.

"What are you doing standing there?" She asked from the bathroom door, gaining Rafe's attention that he was still standing on the middle of the white room.

Her curly brown hair had now a headband with dark blue flowers, and the baby blue dress he chose complimented her beautifully. He walked closer, propping his hands on the back of her neck, tilting her head back to press a slow – yet sensual – kiss on her lips. Enough to make butterflies in Clara's stomach when his other hand trailed slowly on the bare skin of her back.

"Let's bail," he said between the kiss, and she shivered at the way his voice sounded.

"You know we can't." She answered, pulling back as Rafe rested his head on hers, giving a tired nod, then took a step back. "Can we go?"

And she didn't need the answer, when Rafe opened the door. Leaving the house and entering his father's Range Rover. Clara looked one more time to the screen of her phone, sering a total of one text message from her father to enjoy the party.

She hid the small frown growing on her face, not noticing they had already parked. When she looked up Wheezie was standing at the balcony, a huge smile on her face as she disappeared inside the house, not long after the girl brusted from the front door, latching Clara's hands as she looked at the dressed up girl.

"Rafe, I'm gonna stole her from you," she said over her shoulder, pulling her inside and leaving Rafe to roll his eyes as he followed a laughing Clara. "Help me get my hair done, please?"

"Of course, how about we do a half up dutch braid?" Clara's fingers went to play with Wheezie's wavy hair, and the girl gave her a nod.

"Clara, you look beautiful," she looked back, seeing Ward walk out of the kitchen, adjusting his cuffs, Sarah following after him.

Sarah looked at her friend, guilt striking her hard now that she remembered that she stood her up the day before. Clara gave the man a small smile, hands falling from the younger girl's hair, trying to hide the bitter expression.

"Thank you, Mr Cameron, hope I'm not intruding," she replied, hands coming together to fidget with her rings. Rafe that was watching the scene walked closer to the girl. He had noticed the tension between his younger sister and his girl.

Ward gave a dismiss hand in front of him. "Nonsense, you're always welcome to be here. We're going to get ready now, so it was good that Rafe picked you up."

She gave the man a smile as he walked past them to the other room. Wheezie grabbing her hand and pulling her upstairs, Sarah made her way to follow, but Rafe stepped in front of her, hand grabbing her forearm.

He waited until the two were out of hearing range, turning his head to the dirty blonde girl, that tried to pry his hands off. "We don't need your negativity today, Sarah."

"I have no idea what are you talking about," she said through her teeth, pulling her arm. "Let go."

"And I have a feeling she doesn't want to talk to you at the moment. Let's not ruin it, okay?"

And he let go, going upstairs as Sarah held her arm closer, a frown on her face at her brother's words.

Wheezie look on the mirror of her desk, watching while Clara's fingers braided the top of her head.

"Are you dating my brother?" She asked, and Clara's movements stopped, freezing for a second, but she continued.

"We're not dating, Wheez."

"You sure?" Clara hummed, holding the braid together with a plastic band so she could start the other side. "How sure?"

Clara stared at the girl through the mirror, and Wheezie raised her eyebrows. "It's complicated."

"So you are together," she bit back a smile, returning to another question. "Why are you mad at Sarah?"

"It's complicated," she trailed out, ending the other braid and putting the plastic band. "Can we not talk about that today? I just want to have a good time."

"Will you tell me tomorrow?"

Clara laughed, finishing up the mousse on the wavy hair, but nodded her head.

As Wheezie walked up to the bathroom to put on the dress and makeup, she passed the neutral pink lipstick, giving a last look to the mirror then left. Clara walked past Sarah's room to Rafe. His back was turned to her as he buttoned his white shirt, the butterfly tie hanging from his neck, and his hair gelled back.

"Thank God your hair is slicked back, unless you would be way too attractive and too many eyes would be drowling over you," she commented, closing the door behind her as she approached the smirking boy. "And we know that would make your ego bigger than it already is."

"Would you be drowling too?"

"I have class, Mr Cameron, I don't drowl." She answered, playing with the two ends of his tie. "I don't need to."

"Say it again about my ego?" She rolled her eyes, pulling him by the tie so the lips could meet.

Blame her guilty, but she loved his lips and the way he made her feel. How her body reacted, the nervous anxiety but at the same time made her feel at ease.

He pulled away from the kiss, his blue eyes so lively, like it was the ocean looking back at her. "You sure you don't wanna stay here?" And he gave her another kiss. And another.

His door was pushed open, and the two scattered away from each other. Ward was there, looking at the two with a not so surprised face and a ghost of a smile, Wheezie also appearing from behind him.

"When you're ready met us downstairs so we can take the pictures," he only said that.

Wheezie with a convinced face uncrossed her arms. "Not so complicated, huh?"

"Shut up," Rafe groaned, tying the butterfly tie, while Clara held her two hands on her hot red face.

"Might need to clean up, you have lipstick all over."

++++

When they arrived at midsummers after a long hour of taking pictures, where Rose insisted on taking many of just Clara and Rafe — including a kissing one, thankfully Sarah wasn't there —, then one with each, they finally arrived.

You could clearly tell the heavy atmosphere around the Campbell girl and her friend, and right off Clara took on the offer of going with Rafe on a separate car.

His hand placed in the small of her waist, as they were saying their 'hello's, she could see Topper and Kelce getting closer, and she had again wanted to avoid them, too scared to ruin the day.

She made her way to the small food stand where Grace was standing, giving the payment for Pope.

"Hey, what's up?" She smiled at the braided haired friend, who seemed to froze. "I've been texting you, but-"

"My phone fell on the pool, I don't have it," Grace quickly said, but the apprehensive look on her face could be clearly seen.

"You okay?"

"Yeah! Yeah, I just-" she pointed to something behind her. "My mom..."

And she left, leaving behind a confused Clara. When she turned to look at Pope, the boy had a similar expression, fiding it weird the girl's behavior. Clara's eyes softened. "I'm sorry."

"I don't need your pity" He stared at the girl, on her flowy baby blue dress, and even if he hated everyone on that party, he could tell that she looked good. Clara sighed.

"I didn't know they would do something and I kinda froze there when I saw the..." she left the thought run, but Pope understood. "I'm sorry for their behavior, and I'm sorry I didn't do anything that could help."

"It's not you that should be apologizing."

"I know. I just wanted to say it," she gave him a forced smile, then walked back to where they were sitting.

Clara felt eyes following her every move, so when she took a sip of the drink in her hand she looked around, and a lot of the woman on the party were talking in hushed tones along with judgmental stares.

"I was fucking dumb, I know."

She looked beside her, trying to ignore the stares while Topper stood by her side. His hands in the suit pockets as he stared ahead of them. "I was really blinded by rage, I guess. Didn't mean to yank your arm like that."

"Don't do it again," she whispered, voice low as Topper looked at the sadness behind her eyes.

"Never." He gave her a shy smile, seeing how uneasy she still was, so he cleared his throat. "They'll show up at any minute now."

"Is Grace mad at me?" The boy shot his head at the question, a confused look on his face had her answer. "She's ignoring my texts and when I got closer she said an excuse to not be around me."

"I don't know, but I can find out?"

"Yes, please."

And with that Topper left her, standing again under the eyes of everyone. Everywhere she looked there was an adult staring at her. Clara felt herself gulping, hugging her body with discomfort.

"You're cold?" Ian stopped by her side, pocketing his phone as he looked at her. "Nice dress."

"No, I'm not cold. It's just..." she moved her finger in a circle and the boy followed, looking around to see the watchful eyes.

"I don't know, they were talking about your mom and that you didn't arrive together," he answered, shrugging as he stared straight to a group of women, keeping the eye contact. "Can't really tell what they're saying other than that."

"It's okay," she dismissed, hiding the discomfort from the younger boy. "I came here with Rafe, maybe that's why."

"Anyway, Peter is off us now, so no need to worry about it anymore," he flashed her a smile, his dimples showing. "I got some one me right now, maybe we can go to somewhere to-"

"Ian, I told you, I don't do drugs."

The boy looked at her, blinking twice. "I thought you were joking." She let out a laugh from her nose, rolling her eyes in a playful manner, shaking her head. "Really, I see you popping pills in your mouth so often at school."

"Yeah, pain killers. I have this annoying headache that likes to persist, and sometimes my arm hurts to move..." she brushed the scar not noticing, but not thinking much of it. "They don't really have a effect anymore."

"Yeah, well, you built up a tolerance to weak painkillers," he stated in a matter of fact. "You need to take something stronger."

Clara looked at the boy, but before they could say anything else, the Cameron family walked through the doors, everyone giving their applause, as Rafe was quick to spot her.

++++

Nothing much was happening, even if the adults that passed her started whispering between themselves, as they send her looks. Clara tried her best to ignored it, tried to enjoy the party, but with no vain.

Rafe was pulled aside to talk with some of Ward's investors, Sarah and Wheezie dancing, Grace was avoiding her like the plague and Topper in a very sour mood as he took another swing of his drink. Clara was left alone, sitting with her phone and a plate of food, that she just moved around not really hungry.

"Your drink, miss Campbell," a cup was placed in front of her and she looked up, seeing JJ's face all beat up, a split lip and a dark bruise.

Opening her mouth she went to hold his hands, but the boy sent her a smile, walking to the dace floor, then passing a note to Sarah. When she got up to follow, her mother was quick to grab her arm.

Susan was wearing a red wine dress from her own collection. The same one Clara help her pick out the design a few months back, but the cold hard look directed to her while the hand gripped her arm made her stop.

"I'll meet you in the car," she said, releasing her arm and walking inside the club to the front door.

Clara gulped, her fingers wrapping tightly around her phone as she looked around, pleading for the Gods to someone come talk to her, but there was no one around her that could stop. And Clara knew that making her mother wait would be worse.

With a shaky breath, she gathered her small purse and phone, walking in slow steps to the door, dreading what her mother had to say, her blood cold.

Susan was standing by the car when she saw her daughter, pointing to the passenger's seat. "Get in."

And when she did the door locked instantly, as Susan reversed the car and drove away from the club. And the woman didn't say anything right away, driving to a path that was not leading to their house.

"How could you?" Clara looked at her mother with questioning eyes. "You have any idea what you did?"

"What are you talking about?" Her words died down on her throat as Susan slammed her right hand in a fist against the girl's chest, making her breathe leave her lungs.

"Don't act like you don't know!" She growled, teeth clenched as all Clara could see was the anger in Susan's eyes. "Calling Grace, begging like a bitch to save you from me?!"

The girl opened her mouth, but the woman didn't gave any chance to speak.

"Tell everyone on the club that I hit you?!" Her mother stopped the car by the bridge leading to the Cut, turning it off as she looked at the girl. "You lied to me, the person who fought for you."

"Mom-"

"Get out of the car!" Susan yelled, pushing the girl to the door, fists closed as she was shaking in range. "NOW!"

Opening the door, her own hands shaking, as she stumbled on her steps, Susan walking around the car, then grabbing the girl by her hair, shoving her to the ground.

"You betrayed my trust. I did EVERYTHING for you. I starved myself so you could eat!" She pulled the girl's arm with her hands, bringing her fist back the slamming it against her cheek. "When your fucking father left us without a single dime!"

Her other hand gripped the girl's face hard, while her feet stepped on the girl's tighs. "Now you're gonna see what it's like to have real problems."

Clara's eyes watered, as Susan pushed her back to the ground, hand meeting the girl's face once more with her fist, and this time hitting her nose and mouth. Her vision was blured and surrounded by black spots, as the pain and the taste of blood was the only thing she was feeling.

"I never did this to my mother," the woman hissed, looking down at the girl. "Never! 'Cause I'm greatful! And I don't deserve this, because you know what? You're a liar. And lies? Oh they have small legs, you should know that by now."

The taste of blood made her want to throw up, but she only sobbed, seeing the woman step closer to her, the clicks of her high heels against the concrete of the road.

"You never thought how I would feel! I may have lost but so did you, 'cause I have my mother! I can come and go there anytime I WANT!" She let out a laugh, venom dripping from her words. "You don't have one anymore! Don't even think of trying. And if you do, you bet I would call the police on you for theft and trespassing."

"Mom..."

"I'M NOT YOUR MOTHER ANYMORE!" Clara could only feel the heel hitting the side of her ribs, once, twice. Gods, she lost count. The air leaving her lungs, as she tried to turn on the ground, blood dripping from her mouth. "But I was a fucking good one for that matter, you just didn't deserve it. I'm in peace with that."

Clara panted, trying to feel the air back in her lungs, but it was hard, her body felt numb.

"Go crying back to Grace, beg for her to let you live with her, since I'm so dangerous, that you're so scared. But know she was the one who started this. Some friend you have." Susan laughed, shaking her head as she walked back to the side if the car. "Or you can go live on the damn Cut, see if I care, because I'm sure your father don't."

Susan entered the car, slamming the door, then rolled down the windows. "Never speak of me or my name ever again. And you better disappear, because you don't know what I'm going to do if I see you again."

Clara didn't look up, her sobs being the only thing that echoed on the night while the car drove away.

She didn't know how long she stayed on the ground, her head on the grass as the rest if her body was spread on the road.

It hurt me writing his chapter. I love Clara a lot, much it was needed. Susan is a undiagnozed narcissist, so even if it is her fault, she convince herself that it's Clara's.

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