A/N: okay so I kinda wanna end this fanfic and I know how I'm going to do it and it's just a warning ITS NOT A HAPPY ENDING. MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH IN THE END OF THE FANFIC SO CONTINUE READING AT YOUR OWN RISK

Mood: I Found by Amber Run

~ 3 WEEKS LATER ~

Boyfriends. That's what they were. And they couldn't be happier.

Louis was getting better. Slowly. He ate gingerly each day; he tried to stop self harming but Jace was still there. He was always there.

Louis was still depressed. He didn't want to tell Harry because he felt as if he'd bother him. Sometimes the smaller boy would snap and he'd break down right in front of Harry apologizing for something that wasn't even his fault.

Harry didn't mind. He'd sit with Louis until he was okay and he cracked horrible jokes in hope to pull a smile onto the boys face.

Right now they were nestled in Harry's room, Louis clinging onto his boyfriends shirt as if he'd disappear at any moment. Silent tears fell down his cheeks as tried to control himself. He was twitching and and shaking from the need to do something.

Harry didn't try to tell him that it's okay or that it'll get better because he doesn't know. And he doesn't make promises he can't keep.

So he just holds him, singing an Amber Run song to him.

"I-I'm s-s-sorry." Louis stutters out, another sob racking his body.

"Hey love. I already told you. You don't have to apologize."

"I-I'm such a m-mess. Y-You d-d-deserve better." Harry frowns. He doesn't understand how Louis can't see him the way he does. He's such a beautiful person, full of light and happiness just waiting to be explored.

He can't let him leave him like Gemma did. He just can't.

"No love. If anything, I don't deserve you. You're amazing. I know you don't see that but please. Don't say you don't deserve me. I love you."

Louis sniffled, peering out to look up at Harry with his glossy blue eyes.

"I'm nothing special, Harry."

"You're a diamond, Lou, you look fragile and soft but in reality you're strong and in the right light, you shine like the stars."

****

Louis found himself with Niall and Liam at an ice skating rink that Saturday. Harry was busy with homework so he couldn't come. Harry promised Louis to take him out after he finished with his homework so he didn't worry.

Niall brought them a pair of skates and Louis looked at the skeptically. He's never been iceskating before.

Liam saw him being confused and helped him, unlacing the skates and helping him into them. Louis muttered a quiet thanks before being hauled into the skating rink.

He holds onto the wall, uncertain about letting go. Niall and Liam were already skating around the ring, laughing and talking. Louis took a tentative step and he almost slipped, instantly tightening his grip onto the wall.

He can't do this.

Niall seemed to notice Louis wasn't with them and he turned around to find Louis still at the entrance of the ring. He gestured to Liam and the two of them made their way to the small frightened boy.

He looked at them with wide eyes as they approached.

"Hey, Lou. Come on. It's okay." Niall outstretched his hand. Louis took it hesitantly, and Liam grabbed his other hand. He stumbled, his feet sliding under him as he tried to stay standing.

Eventually he found his footing and he slid stiffly as Niall and Liam dragged him along. He envied how graceful they looked; they made it seem easy.

Louis finally slid his feet, trying to mimic the way the two boys were moving. He was awkward, flailing his arms around when he thought he was going to fall, attracting the attention of people around them.

Finally Liam and Niall let him go, letting him skate by himself. He managed to stay upright, until he saw Jace in the corner of his eyes. Jace grinned at him and waved, causing Louis to get distracted and trip over his own feet.

He falls face first onto the cold floor, wincing as his teeth dug into his lip, opening it.

Niall and Liam rushed over to him, helping him sit up. Louis feels a rush of pain on his bottom lip, and his eyes water as he watches Jace laugh at him. Suddenly everyone in the ring are looking at him, and he feels as if walls are closing in on him.

He tries to stand up but slips again, falling on his bum. He could hear some people snickering. Niall and Liam tried to help him up but he pushed them away, tears in his eyes.

He crawled his way out of the ring and kicked off the skates. Niall and Liam were calling out to him, trying to calm him down. They didn't understand him. They told him it was okay and it'll get better. They didn't know if it was going to get better. Only Harry understood.

But he'd probably laugh at him when he knew why Louis was choking down tears at the moment. He needed to get his shit together. Everyone in the ring was most likely laughing at him.

"Lou, hey, it'll be okay. Liam and I will take you home--"

"It won't be okay! You don't know that! Stop trying to make broken promises!" Louis yelled, slipping on his shoes. In the end, he left the laces of his Vans undone and he stalks out of the ice skating rink without a second word.

He didn't want to call Harry and ask him to come pick him up. He's probably annoyed of him by now. So he chose to walk home instead.

A/N: so there will probably be at least five more chapters and this story will be over. Sorry guys xx I just don't know what to write anymore and I already have the ending in place. It's not...happy.