Mood: Teddy Bear by Melanie Martinez

Louis was curled into himself on his bed. His fingers were twitching, his mind only on one thing. His blades in the bathroom. Once he came home from school he made his way to the bathroom but his mum stopped him, giving him a snack. He had eaten gingerly and when he tried to go into the bathroom his sisters were complaining over who could use it first.

His mum made a compromise. First Lottie, then Fizzy, then Daisy, then Phoebe.

The twins took the longest. They decided to take a bubble bath and they've been in there ever since. It's been over two hours since he came home.

Louis convulsed involuntarily and gasped. He needed his blades. He needed them. People always try to romanticize depression and self-harm but it would never be like that. Depression is having to curl into yourself because you feel like your physically breaking. Self-harm isn't little scratches on someone's wrists. It's ugly gashes and scars that will never disappear. It's slowly dying while you put on a smile. It's hell.

Louis gripped onto his sheets and gasped again. He was yearning to find something, anything, to cut his skin. He looked around his bare room with crazed eyes, only to find Jace standing in the corner.

"J-Jace. I-I don't know what to do. P-Please. Make it stop. M-Make it all s-stop." He stutters, sweat running down his forehead.

"And why would I do that? I love watching you fall apart." Jace smirks and Louis crawls off his bed towards the older boy.

"W-Why do you do t-this to me?" Louis asks, an ugly sob escaping his lips.

"It's fun." The boy answers and Louis collapses onto his side, spasms hitting body. He lets out a small cry, as the tears streamed down his face. He was in so much pain. He closed his eyes and begged silently for everything to stop.

After a few seconds he slowly stumbled to his feet, making a mission to reach his door. He could hear his parents talking downstairs and his sisters arguing in the hall.

He froze at the door wishing his sisters will just leave.

"Just hurry up and make your way to the bathroom. Don't you want to feel the pain, the cold metal slicing your skin? Don't you want to watch as all the blood drains from your body?" Jace asks and Louis' legs start feeling weak. He slides down the door and curls into himself.

He can't let his family see him like this. He'll just wait until they leave for their stupid back to school night for Daisy and Phoebe.

It's just another hour. He can wait.

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆

After thirty minutes Louis ended up in the corner of the room, rocking back and forth, mumbling to himself. Jace kept whispering in his ear, telling him about all the pleasures he'll get from a small piece of metal.

He heard the front door, downstairs open, and he thought his family was finally gone, but then he heard a pad of footsteps walking upstairs.

"Don't come in here. Don't come in here." Louis whispers to himself but luck isn't on his side.

****

Nick left Harry's house without a word and Harry questioned whether he should follow him or not. Instead, he grabs his car keys and heads to the one person he really wants to see right now.

He pulled up to Louis' home and parked and got out. He walked up the two steps on the porch and knocked three times. His mum opened the door with a smile.

"Hi Harry! How are you, dear?"

"Good, thanks. Is, um, is Louis home? We have a project."

"Oh? He never mentioned anyone coming over." she says before opening the door a bit wider, "Come on in. He's in his room. Do you mind telling him that we're going to Daisy's school now?"

Harry nods as he makes his way to the steps. He waves at Louis' sisters and dad and walks up the staircase.

He hears the front door open and close and the house goes silent. He makes his way to Louis' bedroom door and stands there for a second before knocking.

"Louis?" Harry calls and twists the knob. It opens with a squeak and Harry looks around to find a horrifying sight.

Louis was sitting in the corner, his arms wrapped around his legs, rocking back and forth. When he heard the door open he started screaming.

"Louis!" Harry runs towards him and helps him up. The small boy lashes out at Harry, scratching at him and himself.

Louis pushes himself away falling back onto the floor. He starts scratching at his arms and legs and stomach. Harry reaches for him, gripping his wrists and holding them together with one of his hands, while using the other to move the hair from his face.

"Hey, Lou, it's okay. I'm here." The taller boy whispers and Louis struggles to get away, yelling out.

"Get away from me! I need--I need them!" Harry knows exactly what he's talking about.

"No, love, you don't. Just breathe, baby." Louis looks up at Harry for the first time. They were so close, Louis noticed the small specks of blue in his green eyes. He noticed the small acne and the perfect outline of his lips.

He let out a heavy breath, twitching involuntarily.

"Lou, are you okay? Can I let you go?" He nods and his wrists are released. He collapsed against the wall, wiping at his ugly tears and snot. Harry sat back and watched him with a weary expression.

"What happened?"

"I just--I...don't know. I..." He didn't know how to explain it. He hiccupped as his fingers continued to twitch.

"You don't have to tell me. I'm just glad you're okay." Harry says and Louis looks down.

"Why are you here?" he finally asks and Harry shrugs. Louis stared at him and noticed how long his hair was growing. It was almost reaching his shoulders. He stared at all the small things he's never paid attention to before and slowly stopped twitching. He stopped thinking about his small blades and blood.

He started thinking about Harry's eyes, and Harry's lips, and just Harry.

"Just wanted to make sure you're okay."

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