Mood: Sorry by Sleeping with Sirens

I edited this so I unpublished it and republished sorry haha

Louis woke up when he felt the mattress sink from someone's weight. He turns to find his mum smiling at him.

"Time is it?" Louis mumbles, his thighs burned like no tomorrow, but it felt good, at least to him.

"Almost ten at night. You basically slept all day. I didn't want to wake you. I figured you were tired. School and all." She says and strokes his hair. He forced himself to not push her away.

"Thanks mum." He murmurs, rubbing at his eyes.

"Are you hungry? I saved you some pasta." She says and stands up.

"Sure. Thanks." He sits up, and yeah that hurt. She smiles and walks out. Louis flinched when he swung his legs over his bed, but eventually let out a content sigh. His head ached and the cuts stung but he felt a bit happier than he ever has. 

This always happened. He would cut and a small bubble of rapture sprung in his head, but after a few hours everything would start collapsing around him.

His mum came back in with a plate of pasta and a cup of juice.

"Here, love." She sets the plate on his bed and the cup on the nightstand. He thanked her.

"Did you take your meds?" Louis shakes his head and she ushers him to the bathroom. He gets his little case with all the pills labeled with the days and opens the one for Monday.

He pulls out the different colored pills and swallows them.

He chases them with a cup of water and heads back to his room. His mum watches him as he takes a bite of his food and Louis feels like a child.

"I'm fine." He says sternly.

"You sure, sweets?" He nods. She sighs and sits next to him.

"Listen, love, I know these past few weeks have been hard--"

"You think?" Louis interrupts.

"Sweets...I'm sorry. You know I am. But taking you to the hospital was the best option we had."

"Mum. They fucking kept me in a room almost all day and stuck needles in me and I was basically a caged animal in there. I don't think you will ever understand what it was like in there. And now I have to be the odd one out in school--"

"Don't you think its been hard on me too? Seeing my baby going insane? How do you think it makes me feel?"

"Insane? Is that was I am?"

"You know what I mean. You were sick."

"And you think caging me in a room for three years will help me?!" His chest was rising and falling, his fists balled up.

"Don't raise your voice at me!"

"Just get out!"

"Louis--"

"Please." She looks at him for a moment, tears brimming in her eyes, stands up and walks out.

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆

Harry was flipping through one of his family's photo albums smiling through tears.

There was a picture of him and Gemma on a stupid swing set that their mum bought. Harry was ten and Gemma was thirteen. He let out a breathy laugh, wiping at his eyes. God, he missed them. He missed his mum and Gemma.

He closed the album and stood from his bed. He makes his way downstairs, finding his dad in his home office. He never even glanced at Harry.

The young boy sighed and went into the kitchen. He poured himself a glass of milk and jogged back to his room. He glanced at the clock. Past ten.

He couldn't stop thinking. He wasn't thinking about anything in particular. It was just...everything. His mum, Gemma, Louis, Nick, his home...

It didn't feel like home. It felt more like a prison. Ever since Gemma....

He shook his head. He didn't want to think about it. Not now. Not ever.

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆

Louis tried not to limp as he made his way to class. The cuts he made were deeper than he expected and his skinnies were rubbing against them, making it burn.

He made it to English with seconds to spare. Jace hasn't made an appearance this morning, and he was grateful for it.

Harry was already in his seat, looking down.

Louis took his seat and tried to ignore the beautiful boy next to him.

That was when Jace sauntered in, a smile on his face.

"Hey. So what, are you two just gonna ignore each other?"

"No." Louis whispers as inaudibly as he could.

"Say something?" Harry asks, his voice deep. Louis looked at him then, really looked at him.

He had dark circles under his eyes, and his naturally bright were bloodshot.

"Are you okay?" Louis whispers. Harry chuckles dryly.

"M'fine. Couldn't sleep." He yawns. He smiles and Louis just knows it's forced. He's been in his shoes, known what its like to not trust anyone. So he would just smile and pretend.

"If you don't want to tell me, fine. But keeping it all in will lead to this." He gestures towards himself. Harry was about to respond when the teacher walked in.

Harry glanced at the smaller boy in curiosity. He was only inches away. He could just reach over and touch him. So he did.

He reached over and laid his hand on his thigh. What he didn't expect was Louis to yell out in pain.

Everyone turned and looked at him as Harry flinched away.

"Mr. Tomlinson? Are you alright?" Mr. Richards asked and Louis nodded with thinned lips.

"I j-just hit my knee on the desk." He stutters. Harry looked at Louis with wide eyes. Mr. Richards grunted and went back to his lesson.

"Mr. Can I use the bathroom?" Louis asks and the teacher nods.

"Take a pass." Louis stands up and leaves, grabbing a pass on his way out. Harry raises his hand a few seconds later.

"Can I--"

"Go ahead." Mr. Richards says and Harry hurries out. He looks around the halls, finding Louis' retreating figure. He saw him make his way into a bathroom and Harry followed.

He reached the door and opened it. Louis was staring at his reflection in the mirror. He didn't seem to notice Harry was in there.

Harry checked to see if the stalls were empty before locking the door.

"Louis?" Harry mumbles and the boy jumps.

"What do you want, Harry?"

His tiny body was visibly shaking.

"Did you...did you do it again?" He knew the signs of self-harm when he saw it. Let's just say he had some personal experience with it.

The smaller boy didn't answer.

"Louis. I only want to help."

"Stop." He whispers, tears slipping down his cheeks.

"Stop what?"

"Stop lying."

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