CHAPTER TWO_

A Breathless Death

"Go fetch your damn things and go to your rooms! Keep it decent!" Our department head announced through the megaphone, making everyone wince. I could only sigh as I grabbed my backpack from the side of the bus, trying to weave through the other students who were doing the same. I could only shake my head, hating the fact I still had to go to this damn trip after all. The head said that whoever that wouldn't attend the field trip would have to do a 30-page assignment and an oral report of all the lessons tackled for the whole semester. Absolutely cruel and honestly should  be illegal, so I had no choice but to go.

So in order to cope up with this unfortunate turn of events, I've come up with the plan to just lock myself up in a room as much as I can for three whole days. However, Amber seemed to have different plans as she'd been talking nonstop in the bus earlier about the exciting things she wanted to do for the whole duration of the trip.

"Sooo, are you going to room with Huang ZiTao?" She wiggled her eyebrows as she flung an arm around my shoulder, nodding towards a certain direction. I followed her gaze and saw a flock of students coming out of the other department's bus not too far from where we were, and being the tall person he was, I immediately saw Tao. He was already laughing with his other famous friend, whom I remembered as Kris.

"That's ridiculous. You know they wouldn't let that." I scoffed. "Plus, I already planned on rooming with you." She scrunched up her face.

"Ugh, you're boring." She clucked her tongue and shook her head as she gave me a pitiful look. "Maybe you should work on your seducing skills, Han Seol."

I just rolled my eyes at her, and she ruffled my hair, laughing. We followed the trail of students already going into the hotel, and once the faculty had settled our check in, we were finally assigned our rooms and given our respective key cards. We were allowed to choose our own roommate long as it isn't the opposite gender, in which Amber was completely disappointed because she seemed too determined to ship me with Tao despite of my attempts to make her let go of the idea.

Once we were given the go signal to proceed to our rooms, Amber and I headed to room 305 at the third floor. As we walked along the hallway, I noticed that the boys and girls didn't have separate floors, so of course, the girls-only-boys-only roommate rule would surely not be followed, and I doubt the faculty would even bother check. Hence, a lot of obscene things will definitely happen tonight (and the following nights) and I was already shivering at the idea of waking up in the middle of the night to obscene sounds coming from the other rooms.

As we finally reached our door, Amber immediately flung her luggage at one corner, and started changing into a t-shirt and swimming shorts, not even sparing a second to stop and rest. 

"You're swimming already?"

"Are you kidding! Everyone is going! And I should be asking you why the hell you aren't going but anyway you still wouldn't come because you can't swim so I'll just see you later at dinner, ok?" She flashed a sarcastic smile as she snapped her swimming goggles at her head before running out of the room. I rolled my eyes. Even if I do can swim, I still wouldn't be going anyway.

The door opened again and Amber's head popped in. "Oh, and can you toss me my phone? My mom will give me a call to make sure I'm still sober by evening. Around 9 or 10 I guess? So if ever I'm still not back by then, go check on me by the pool. She'll kill me if she finds out I'm drunk! You know the drill."

I sighed and rolled my eyes as I tossed her the phone. She squealed and blew me a kiss before slamming the door shut, the sound of her excited stomps eventually disappearing down the hallway. I stood up to look out the window and realized that the pool was visible from here. I almost thought that was a good thing, because I can keep track on Amber while she's down there, but as soon I saw Tao's familiar figure walking around, shirtless, with girls in bikinis trailing after him, I concluded that it wasn't a good thing. I knew it.

I forced to look away and sprawled on the bed as I felt this ache on my heart again. Why? Why do I still like him this much even if I know we're impossible to end up together? I want to just forget all about you, Tao. But I couldn't. I want to stay right beside you even if it hurts, even if I know I don't stand a chance.

Since when had I fallen for you? I have no idea anymore. All I know is I'm just a dumb hopeless romantic. Friendzone sucks.

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I slowly pried my eyes open as I felt cold air brush against my skin. My brows furrowed when I realized it was already dark. Wait, what time is it? I patted my hand around for my phone and found it somewhere under the pillows. I shot up as I saw the time. IT'S ALREADY ALMOST NINE?!!!! I slept the whole afternoon away! And I missed dinner! Gosh where the hell is Amber?!!

As I looked at my phone again, I realized that I have 7 messages and 5 missed calls. All from Tao.

My heart pinched at the last message. He... missed me?

"Knock knock," someone slurred from outside the door. I opened it, and Amber came falling into my arms. I sighed. She's drunk again. Of course. I dragged her to her bed and immediately grabbed a towel to dry her hair so she wouldn't spoil the bedsheet.

"Mom~" she slurred.

"I'm not your Mom, Amber. I'm Han Seol."

"No! Yer Mom!" She shot up, making this silly angry face. I pushed her back down the bed. "Please don't get mad. I'm deadass druuuunk~"

I froze. Her mom is supposed to call anytime soon. "Amber, where's your phone?" She only slurred, so I smacked her cheek. "Yah Amber speak up! If we miss your mom's call you're saying goodbye to college!"

She slurred a few curse words before eventually managing to say 'pool'. I rubbed my temples and looked out the window. There was no more people there. I guess it's okay to come down there already. I quickly rummaged through my bag to get my flashlight like my life depended on it. Or rather, like Amber's college depends on it. I've known her since I first stepped into this university so I've seen all the trouble she'd gotten herself into for the past years, and how her mother slowly lost patience on putting up with her reckless behavior. She'd threatened more than once to pull Amber out of college if she does another stupid stunt like this, and I know the last time she said it she meant it, so unfortunately it'd somehow become my job to look after Amber because apparently, she doesn't take her mother seriously.

Not even bothering to wear a jacket, I dashed out of the room and into the elevator, impatiently tapping my foot on the floor as it descended like forever. Once out I ran as fast as I can towards the automatic glass doors leading out to the pool area, and the cool wind immediately hit my skin, making me shiver. I switched on the flashlight and carefully threaded through the wet stony path, not really wanting to risk slipping and injuring myself.

As I expected, a lot of empty beer bottles and other indistinguishable objects lay scattered all over the place, making it very apparent that a wild party had just ensued here hours before. I was 100% certain that everyone that attended this pool party was already drunk and back in their own rooms, doing some... things.

Anyway, I carefully walked around as I looked for Amber's phone, making sure not to slip and fall into the pool because if then, I'll surely be dead. I continued looking around for what seemed like minutes, and I was almost starting to feel helpless when something suddenly lit up from behind the bushes by the fence. Hope sparked in my chest as I hurried to check what it was, and beamed when I recognized it as Amber's phone. However, my bliss was short-lived as I realized that her mom was calling, the furious vibration of the phone seeming to accurately portray her mom's rage once she finds out her daughter is passed out drunk at a school trip.

Shit.

I quickly stretched my arm far out to grab it, and thankfully, I was able to answer before she hung up.

"Hello?" I gulped as I tried to make my voice stable.

"Amber? Is this Amber?"

"Ah, no auntie. This is Han Seol."

Her voice suddenly became firm. "Where is my daughter? Is she drunk again?"

"She's not drunk, auntie." The lie tasted so bitter in my mouth. "She's already asleep because we got tired unpacking. We already ate dinner too. Do you want me to wake her up for you?" I bit my lip. Damn you, Amber. Because of you I'm getting good at lying, and I hate myself for it.

"Uhh no, that's okay. Just tell her I love her and to take care of herself."

"No problem auntie. Take care!"

"You're such a nice girl, Han Seol. I'm glad my daughter found a friend like you." She said sweetly before hanging up. I breathed a sigh of relief. Amber better treat me food tomorrow.

As the light of the phone died out after the call, I realized that I no longer had the flashlight in my hand. I tried to look around with the light of Amber's phone, but much to my confusion, it was nowhere to be seen.

"Where did it go?" I scratched my head. It couldn't have gotten far, could it? I couldn't exactly remember where I was positioned when I last had it in my hand, so I turned around in an attempt to retrace my steps. However, I stepped on something slippery, causing me to step back again to regain my balance, but then it was slippery as well. It only took me a fraction of a second to realize that I was about to fall into the pool. As soon as my body sunk in the water, I wasn't able to move for a few moments.

I was confused if it was real. It just felt so surreal seeing through the blur of water and bubbles as I slowly drifted down, the sound of the night slowly getting blocked out by the water and replaced by a deafening silence. For a moment it felt like I could see myself being pulled into some dark abyss. I was almost convinced that I was actually dreaming. Well, almost.

I snapped back to my senses when water flooded my nose. The panic finally sunk into my veins and I scrambled to put my feet down the floor, but the pool was deeper than I thought. My vision was already blurring as I reached the bottom, and I used all my strength to push myself back up, feeling like forever before I could break out of the surface. I greedily gasped for air and tried to scream for help. Only one thing came out of my mouth.

"TAO!!!!!!!!!!!"

In just a second, I was under the water again. I flailed and kicked as hard as I could to keep my head afloat, but instead of lifting myself the water seemed to pull me down even more. I screamed his name over and over again. I clearly knew it's impossible for him to appear out of nowhere and save me, but I don't care. He's all I wanted at that moment, and he was all I could think about.  

My lung started to hurt. My vision was already blurring. I already couldn't breathe, and I was already sinking back down into the water. As darkness slowly crept in my eyes, I saw flashes of images. It was probably that thing before you die, when your life flashes right before your eyes, but funny thing was that they were all about Tao.

How he huffs when I force him to attend his class.

How he pouts cutely when he's begging me not to leave.

How he randomly hugs me just to smell my hair.

How his lips curve beautifully when he smiles.

How his eyes shine when he looks at me sometimes like at that moment, I actually matter.

And lastly, I thought about how I'll never able to tell him how I really feel about him. On second thought, maybe this was meant to happen. Maybe this was my only way out of this love I feel for Tao. After all, I already know that it's impossible for us to be together. But at least I was able to touch him, see his smile, hear his laugh, and be part of his life even just for a while. But yeah, sucks that I won't even be able to say goodbye.

Rather than my lungs screaming for air, it was the pain of my crumbling heart that I felt the most.

I'll miss you, Tao. I hope you miss me too.

Just as I let my eyes close, I felt something snake around my waist and pulled me closer. I felt something warm envelope my lips, and air filled my lungs once again.

Then, I blacked out.

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