[A/N - There is a sensitive scene coming up. Reader discretion is advised. I just wanted to warn you ahead of time. If you wish to skip past this, then that's fine. Just know a traumatic event happened in this chapter.] 

I'm bored to death. Sitting here in the church pew, I listen to some guy, claiming to be holy. He's standing in front of a group of people talking about something I, frankly, do not care about. My leg is bouncing up and down, and my fingers tangle around the knots in my hair. 

"And we shall meet him on Judgement Day, waiting to see if we are worthy of the Kingdom!" He shouts, pointing his finger vigorously up towards the ceiling. 

I roll my eyes, tuning him out once again. Sometimes I come to church. Why? I'm not completely sure. Maybe so I can say I prayed to the guy above. Maybe so I stay in his good graces so another incident such as last years doesn't happen again. Silly, I know. But I believe that I control my "fate." Only me, no one else.

Finally, mass is over. I am so happy I almost hug someone. Almost. 

I'm dressed in a short, yellow sundress with little flowers patterned on it. It reminds me of a sunny day in paradise. I once was in paradise, or so I thought. Then dark clouds rolled over the sky and rained on my parade. 

Suddenly, I start thinking about little memories; tiny clips of my childhood passing through my mind. That's another thing about me. I barely remember my childhood or if I even had one. I suppose I did though. And I'm not sure why I just can't remember but my minds all foggy and messed up, so I guess that could be a reason. 

I've never felt the same after last year. It's as if I'm living in someone else's body. As if I'm living in a complete daydream as I wade aimlessly through life like a lost ghost trying to find its eternal home. 

I dig my hands into the dresses' pockets as I walk down the sidewalk, kicking a pebble along the way. My eyes roam over the sky above, over the people milling about, and over the ground where tiny creatures skitter around. 

Some days, I'm just so bored I really don't know what to do with myself. And then I start thinking about how bad it was last year, and I try to find something to do.

Last year.

Last year.

That's all I seem to be thinking about lately. I purse my lips and sigh. I need to stop thinking about it and just get over it. It's done and over. I should be happy, elated, even. But all I seem to be is empty, depressed. Why am I this way? Should I get more help? Tell them that I've started thinking about it again? Would they make me talk more? Share more of my feelings? 

Maybe I shouldn't tell someone. 

Sighing, I look up from the ground, and I realise I have no idea where I am. I start to panic, but I force myself to calm down. Panicking would only make it worse, forcing me to make rash decisions or start wandering farther away from home. 

Looking around, I notice the run down houses and the way this street just screams "poor!" at me. The buildings are almost a pile of rubble, the streets are cracked and broken, the sidewalks are chipped and uneven. A few people are walking past me wrapped up in their light coats or blankets, glancing my way then looking away. How I must look with my stupid sundress in this part of town.

"Well, hello there. Aren't you a pretty little thing?"

I whirl around and come face to face with a smiling stranger. My eyes widen as he looks me up and down, licking his lips. Before I can think, his arms grasp onto me, and he begins pulling me farther down the street. I start kicking and screaming for help, trying to get out of his suffocating grasp as he pulls me to who knows where. But no one seems to hear me, and if they do, they just ignore me. This must happen a lot in these kinds of areas so the people here don't really care. But still...

I know what he wants. Always the same. Trying to swallow the tears and the rising panic, a thought crosses my mind. I'm going to die. 

I'm going to die today in this poor town, in a crumbling building, probably underneath a total stranger. 

"Stop fighting, dear. I just want you to help me," the man chuckles, swatting away my kicks and smacks like nothing.

I don't say anything as I continue to squirm in his grasp and try to find a way out. His hand comes up to stop one of my punches, and I immediately take the chance to lean forward and bite his hand. He hisses in pain and lets me go for a second. 

And I run. I run like hell and, yet, it feels like I'm not even moving. I don't seem to get far before he grabs me again, twirls me around, and slaps me across the face.

"That's enough from you, you little bitch," he growls at me, picking me up and throwing me over his shoulder.

My jaw explodes with pain, and I let out a strangled cry for help as I feel blood rolling down my chin. Where's my knight in shining armour? 

Nowhere, because this is reality. 

He carries me up a pair of steps, stops for a second to kick open the door, then walks in. By now, I've just given up hope that someone will save me. 

He throws me down on a bed and crawls on top of me. The tears are rolling down my face, and I can't seem to find the strength to fight him anymore. This is happening, and, once again, I can't find anything to do stop it. 

From church to this. 

I close my eyes and bite my lip to prevent a sob from escaping them. I feel his hands roam my body and pull up my sundress, his fingers lingering on the inside of my thighs. 

Why me? Why do bad things happen to good people?

Before I know it, I feel his finger inside of me, and I let out a broken cry for help. And then two as he viciously pumps them in and out, lying kisses along my jaw. My lips quiver and I close my eyes tight, hoping this is all a nightmare. But it's not. 

Suddenly, I hear something unzip, and I freak out. I thrash beneath him, trying to push him off me, but it's no use. He's like a solid rock on top of me, holding me captive to his uses. 

And then he enters me, roughly and brutally. I scream out and cry up towards the sky for help. There must be someone up there watching me, sending someone to... to save me. But it never comes as he continues to abuse me, use me. 

And there's no prince charming there to stop him and save me. 

He continues to do his dirty work on me, and I stay silent the whole time except for the scattered cries of defeat that escape my lips. Tears run silently down my cheeks, neverending, unnoticed. Just like my neverending torture on this earth. 

When he's finally done with me, he leaves and never looks back. He should've had the courtesy to kill me, at least. To end my pain, but no, he leaves me here, torn and dying. I feel completely empty. I've just been abused and used by a total stranger. My heart broken and my soul shattered. 

I'm just an empty shell of the girl I used to be. Whoever I was is gone forever, never to come back. 

This was the last straw. How can I continue to go on when I continue to go through endless pain and torture? When will the pain finally cease? I curl up in a ball and cry silently, shivering and hurting. Physically and mentally. 

And I feel so tired. So very tired. 

I wrap my arms around myself to keep whatever warmth I have left within me as I curl up and close my eyes, hoping I'll never open them again. Maybe I'll just lie here forever. Who would miss me? Who would even care that I'm gone? No one. 

Broken, abused, tired. That's what I am. 

~~~

❝My heart broken and my soul shattered.❞