It's a warm Saturday when I tell Holly I'm going out to shop for a bit. Although surprised, since I don't often shop, she just shrugs and nods me off. Grabbing my coat and purse, I unlock our door then step outside. The sun is already high in the sky and all the little critters are awake and roaming around. 

The sun feels good on my face, and I bask in it for a second before continuing towards the shops in the downtown area. During the day, it's a lively place with happy families shopping, but at night, it's one big party. I don't often go out to the city during the day, either busy with some work or just too lazy to get my ass off the couch. 

Smiling to myself, happy that I'm finally out after a few days, I walk brightly down the sidewalk, passing a few kids free from school for the weekend. I soon find my thoughts wandering towards my family and how they are holding up. Last I left them, they were just scraping by, trying to help send me off to a college in hopes that I'd do much better than them. But that's what every parent wants for their child: for them to do better since they're supposedly "smarter". Still young, but so far, I'm fulfilling that request. I have money in the bank and in my pocket. Don't get me wrong, I'm not rich like some people, but I have enough to eat and pay my bills. Of course, I have help. Holly works at some dental office which obviously brings in enough money for some desserts after dinner and a few take-outs. 

And then, just like that, those eyes pop back into my mind, almost startling me. The endless questions return, giving me a mild headache. Who was that? Why did they look at me the way they did? It was almost hostile, yet guarded. I can't quite judge him since I, too, have my walls built up high since... well, since a year ago... since the incident. 

Shaking the thoughts from my head, I soon realise I'm already wandering aimlessly through the city streets, passing by potential shops. 

I stop and look through a window at a pretty necklace sitting on a mannequin. Before I can analyse it any further, a kid bumps into me, almost knocking me over. A pair of hands grab me before I can fall over. I catch my breath, my eyes wide as I look up at the person. I'm startled to see those deep brown eyes piercing into mine, obviously recognising me. 

"Isy, come on!" 

I swivel my head to see a little girl jumping up and down, waving for him to follow her. The man lets go of me, leaving me to catch the rest of my balance. He nods slightly my way then walks briskly after the little girl, taking her hand in his as she leads him to another store. I watch them as the girl points to shiny objects in the store windows, pouting when Isy shakes his head no. I'm guessing his name is Isaiah or Isaac or something along those lines. Or it could just be Isy. I'm not one to judge. 

Isy glances over his shoulder, and I quickly avert my eyes, staring into the store window as I feel my cheeks turn red. I peep at them out of the corner of my eye, but they already had turned a corner down another street. Although they're gone, his eyes linger in my mind. He could put anyone in a trance with those eyes. So cold, unfriendly, dark. Yet he has a little sister or so I'm assuming. Nonetheless, I never thought someone like him would have someone as bright as that little girl. They were complete opposites. 

Opposites attract.

Blowing out a breath, I shake my head and turn back to the necklace but someone is already pulling it off the mannequin and holding it up to the light, a bright smile on their face. I watch through the window as they hand the cashier a wad of cash then pull a girl into view, gently clasping the necklace around the girl's neck. The boy pulls her into a quick kiss and she clearly giggles, swatting his shoulder playfully. 

Sighing, I turn around. I'm so lonely. 

I walk past other shops, but my mind's occupied by a certain pair of eyes. I've only seen this guy twice, and quite briefly, and still, his eyes already interest so much I've come to the point where I'd say I'm almost obsessed. But it's too early for these kinds of thoughts. Last year showed me that rushing something you want isn't always the best option. People always say patience is a virtue, and I didn't realise how true that was until last year when I had everything but patience. I had wanted to rush everything and look where it got me. I had crumbled beneath all the pressure and emotions to the point where... 

Pursing my lips, I shove those thoughts aside, not wanting to think about it now. I was over it now. Of course, I had needed a lot of help and a few vacations to distract my mind, but it had worked. Well, it had distracted. Those memories were still buried deep in my mind and anything could trigger them. An old friend. An old lover. A family member. Really, anybody could if they gave the right—well, wrong—impression.  

My mind was too busy to continue shopping so I head towards a cafe that sat on the corner of the street. Peering inside, I notice just a few people sitting at the tables, talking quietly with a mug in their hand. 

I walk inside, a blast of cool air greeting me. I shiver a little but soon adjust. Almost right away, a pair of dark brown eyes meet mine, once again holding me in a trance, pinning me to my spot. Our eyes lock, one in a cold embrace and the other in wonder and fear. My heart is pounding in my chest and my mind is completely void of any thoughts. The way he holds me to the spot is almost magical. I can't get myself to walk away or even look away, for that matter. Someone clears their throat and Isy's eyes instantly tear away from mine, focusing back on the little girl sitting across from him and licking her ice cream cone. I glance at him once more before stepping up to the counter and look up at the menu.

"What will it be for you today, ma'am?" The cashier asks politely, his fingers ready to take down my order on his computer.

"I guess I'll just take an ice cream cone."

"What flavour? And size?"

"Single scoop of blue moon, please." 

The cashier smiles, punches a few buttons, then goes to the back counter. He grabs a cone then fills it with the delicious blue moon ice cream. I exchange a few bucks for the cone then go to the opposite side of the cafe as Isy. Occasionally, I glimpse their way and sometimes our eyes meet but for no longer than a few seconds. 

The ice cream totally distracts my mind from the previous thoughts of my past and of Sam. I savour the soft, creamy taste of the ice cream and how cold it feels against my tongue and down my throat. It's an obvious contrast from the heat outside as it cools me down. Before I know it, I'm down to the cone only, and I happily eat that. I could never quite decide whether I liked the cone or ice cream better. It was always a constant debate. The cold, silky ice cream or the delicious crunch and taste of the sugar cone. 

Out of the corner of my eye, I notice Isy and his little sister stand up. He throws a few bucks on the table, catches my eye for a second, then leaves. A shiver runs down my spine as I watch them exit the cafe. For some weird reason, I almost feel like we have some sort of connection the way our eyes always meet. I'm not sure why he keeps staring at me the way he does, but I'm not going to say I don't check him out while I do so, because I do. Despite his cold demeanour, he is smoking hot. Like... volcano-erupting, heart-throbbing, deliciously hot. 

Then again, I've always been told not to judge a book by its' cover. There could be a totally depressing explanation for the way he looks and carries himself. Maybe he's recently broken up with a girlfriend. Or maybe he's been in some trouble lately. Maybe he's had a midlife crisis, something that has scarred him inside. Or maybe he's always been like that. Cold. Dark. Distant. 

I mean, I can't really judge. I'm sure if anyone saw what I looked like last year, they'd think I went through hell since I surely looked as if I had. I rarely slept, ate, relaxed, anything. But I couldn't help it. I couldn't help how I was feeling. Sometimes, I curse myself for being human and having these emotions, but there's nothing I can really do about it. Too bad I can't simply turn myself into something else or disappear for a few years. That would be nice. 

Sighing, I stand up and leave. My mind is too distracted for me to do anything else plus I'm feeling tired. It's not like I did anything strenuous today or exhausting either, but I feel as though I have. Maybe I'm just mentally tired; I've definitely been there before. 

I purse my lips. I was doing so well. What's happening to me? Ever since those dark eyes landed on me for the first time, I've been having these thoughts again. Maybe it's because they remind me of... something... someone... 

Maybe I need more help or, at least more, time. But that's something that I seem to never have enough of. Time. Always running away from me. Something I can never quite hold or keep. Can anyone, though? 

I need more distractions because I never want to go where I went to last year. But deep inside of me, I almost think I will. If it happened once, who's to say it won't happen again?

~~~

❝Time. Always running away from me.❞