FOR THE MANY TIMES they've already kissed each other, Shellany remained in deep astonishment whenever Cerlance's lips would touch hers. It was as if she was being kissed by him for the first time again. Still nerve-wracking, heart-pounding, spine-bending. Nothing had changed no matter how many times they did it; his lips on hers always gave an unexplainable satisfaction within her. And it was a feeling she had never experienced before.

    At alam niyang ibang usapan na iyon.

    Natigil siya sa pag-iisip nang kung anu-ano nang maramdaman ang kamay ni Cerlance sa batok niya; caressing her skin, sending shivers down her core. His insistent mouth parted her lips, sending wild tremors along her nerves. And before she knew it, she was already kissing him back in a more passionate way that he did. Mas uhaw siya rito. Mas kailangan niya ito.

    And it felt like nothing in the world existed but just her and Cerlance. As if two of them were levitating off the ground, floating in the air... As if fireworks were glowing inside of her, lighting all her senses. The feel of his touch against her skin, the softness of his lips, the sensuality of his kiss, the heat from his body were all making her forget where they were. She felt like they were in shangri-la, just the two of them.

    She was drawn more and more to him... and she knew that it was just a matter of time for her to realize that what she was feeling was--

    Her thoughts were abruptly cut off when Cerlance's kiss slowed until he let her go. Napamulat siya at buong pagtatakang tinitigan ito.

    Napangiti ito; his lips swollen for the kiss.

    "Do you feel it?" he asked, smiling tenderly.

    "Feel what?"

    "That familiar heat."

    "From within?"

    Yes."

    Tulad nito'y napangiti na rin siya. "You felt it, too?"

    "I always feel it whenever I kissed you." Hinawakan nito ang magkabila niyang mga kamay bago tumayo. "Let's go."

    "Back to the hotel?" she asked, hoping.

    "No. Let's go to the restaurant that sits on the water. We will have brunch."

    "Pero kakakain ko lang." She just really want to head back to the hotel.

    "I can't believe tinatanggihan mong kumain ngayon?" biro ni Cerlance. "Aren't you always excited whenever I'd say we will eat? Kahit pa busog ka'y gusto mo pa ring kumain."

    "Pero kasi..."

    "It's your call where to go next after brunch." Muli itong ngumisi, itinaas ang kamay sa kaniyang mukha saka banayad na hinagod ang magkabilang dulo ng labi niya upang alisin ang pagkakanguso niya. "Stop pouting; baka hindi ako makapagpigil at ikaw ang kainin ko sa tanghalian."

    "Ba't 'di mo subukan?" hamon niya.

    And of course, she meant what she meant. Kapag hindi pa iyon na-gets ni Cerlance ay kukutusan niya ito.

    At ang gago ay napangisi muna bago siya hinila pababa sa bleachers. "Nah. Maybe later."

    Para siyang takure na nakasalang sa apoy at nag-iingay dahil kumukulo na ang tubig sa loob. She could feel her face heating up, and her ears felt like they were releasing some steam.

    At nang muli siyang lingunin ni Cerlance habang pababa sila ay lalo siyang walang naisagot. "Later, I'll have you for dessert."

    And that tucked her in.

    She couldn't help but giggle.

*

*

*

      NARAMDAMAN NI SHELLANY ang paghimpil ng kotse kasunod ng pag-patay ni Cerlance sa makina. Doon niya iminulat niya ang mga mata at direktang tinitigan ang malaking vacation house sa harapan.

    Inihinto ni Cerlance ang kotse sa harap ng gate na bakal ng vacation house ng pamilya ng dati niyang nobyo. Sa loob ng gate ay naroon ang matandang babae at nagdidilig ng halaman. Napatingin ito sa direksyon nila nang marinig ang pagdating ng sasakyan. May ngiting sumilay sa mga labi nito bago pinatay ang tubig at ibinaba sa lupa ang hose.

      "You're good?"

          Napalingon siya sa kasama nang marinig ang tanong nito. Si Cerlance at matamang nakatingin sa kaniya.

        Pasado alas cuatro ng hapon nang makatanggap siya ng tawag mula kay Kelvin. They were in the middle of something hot and steamy when the phone rang. Nang makita ni Cerlance na si Kelvin ang tumatawag ay kaagad itong humiwalay at ibinigay ang cellphone sa kaniya.

        Doon ay nalaman niyang nakababa na ng bundok si Knight at nasa bahay-bakasyonan na.

      Ibinalik niya ang pansin kay Cerlance. Tumango siya at pilit na nagpakawala ng ngiti. "I'm fine."

      "Are you nervous?"

      "No."

      "Then why are you so quiet?"

      "Inisip ko lang kung ano ang mga sasabihin ko kapag nagkita kami."

      "I told you already. Suntukin mo muna siya bago ka humingi ng paliwanag."

      She let out a chuckle. A chuckle so fake it made Cerlance shake his head. "Are you coming with me?"

      "I want to. But do you want me to?"

      Nag-isip siyang muli. Kung naroon si Cerlance kasama niya ay baka hindi magawang makapagpaliwanag ni Knight nang maayos.

      What if... mag-usap muna sila nang pribado ni Knight? At kapag narinig na niya ang lahat ng mga kailangan niyang marinig ay saka niya tatawagin si Cerlance upang ipakilala rito at ipamukha na kahit iwan siya nito—kahit inipwetsera siya nito—ay hindi pa rin malaking kawalan sa kaniya dahil may nahanap kaagad siyang kapalit. Mas higit pa, kung tutuusin.

      "I'll talk to him first, then I'll call you."

      Nakakaintinding tumango si Cerlance. "Go ahead and lift your chin up. I'll wait for you here in the car."

      Tumango siya at humugot nang malalim na paghinga bago ibinalik ang tingin sa harapan kung saan nakita niya ang pagbukas ng matandang katulong sa bakal na gate. Dinala niya ang kamay sa handle ng pinto upang buksan iyon, subalit bago pa man niya iyon maitulak pabukas ay naramdaman naman niya ang paghawak ni Cerlance sa kabila niyang kamay.

      Nilingon niya ito. Ang kaniyang tingin ay bumaba sa kamay nitong nakahawak sa kaniya.

      "Be firm, Shellany."

      Be firm? ulit niya sa isip.

      "Don't let him play with your mind. Be firm with your words, be firm with your decision. And remember—I'm here. I'll be waiting for you to come out of that door."

      Umangat ang tingin niya kay Cerlance upang salubungin ang tingin nito. Hindi niya maintindihan kung bakit, pero tila may nahimigan siyang pag-aalala sa tinig nito. Pag-aalalang may halong alinlangan at... panic.

      Panic?

      Why would he?

      Damn it—I'm imagining things again.

      Pero bakit ganoon ang mga sinasabi ni Cerlance?

      Was he thinking that maybe... just maybe... she and Knight would reconcile and that it's possilble that he wouldn't see her come out the door?

      No. Imposible. Matapos ang ginawa sa akin ni Knight, hindi ko alam kung sa paanong paraan niya ako mako-kombinsing balikan siya.

      I am meeting him for closure.

      Hindi ito ang inisyal kong plano, but I've made up my mind.

      Matamis siyang ngumiti at ipinatong din ang isang palad sa kamay nito. "I will, Cerlance. Thanks for the reminder."

      Cerlance's face was serious when he stared at her for a long time. Then, his head leaned on... and the next thing she knew, his lips was covering hers for a gentle and affectionate kiss.

      Kung gaano ka-tagal na naglapat ang mga labi nila'y hindi niya alam. All she cared was for the kiss to continue.

      But then, he let her go. And Cerlance's slightly pressed his forehead against hers before whispering, "Go ahead. I'll see you in a while."

      Humugot siya nang malalim na paghinga at hindi na sumagot pa. Unti-unti siyang binitiwan ni Cerlance hanggang sa tuluyan na itong kumawala. Doon pa lang siya nagmulat, at pinigilan niya ang sariling muli itong titigan sa takot na baka umatras siya sa plano niya at ayain na lang itong umalis na.

      She couldn't do that so she refused to look at him. Kailangan niyang tapusin ang misyon niya.

      Mabilis siyang tumalikod at binuksan ang pinto sa panig niya. Bumaba siya at inisara rin iyon saka walang lingon-likod na humakbang patungo sa gate kung saan kanina pa naghihintay ang nakangiting kasambahay ng pamilya. Pagdating sa gate ay sandali siyang huminto upang batiin ito. Magiliw siya nitong pinapasok at iginiya patungo sa bahay.

      Nang marating niya ang front door ay sandali siyang nahinto. And then—something from deep within told her to look back and find Cerlance's eyes.

      And she did.

      And there she saw him standing just outside the driver's seat door, looking at her. Nakita niya ang pagsilay ng ngiti nito sa mga labi, at sa ibang pagkakataon ay baka humulagpos ang kontrol niya at balikan niya ito upang pupugin ng halik.

      But not this time.

      No, she couldn't do it this time.

      She had to focus.

      "Pasok na po kayo, Maam," anang katulong na nasa kaniyang tabi. "Nagpahinga lang siya sa kwarto niya pero pababain ko siya sa sala."

      "Hindi n'yo po sinabi ang tungkol sa pagpunta ko rito noong nakaraang araw?"

    "Nangako man ako sa'yo 'day, 'di ba?"

      Ngumiti siya at tinanguan ito bago tuluy-tuloy na pumasok sa pintong binuksan nito.

      She went in and roamed her eyes around her. Then, when the front door closed behind her, so did her thoughts.

      Dahil tamang-tama na pagpasok niya ay siya namang pagbaba sa hagdan ng isang pamilyar na bultong ilang linggo din niyang hinanap.

       Her heart skipped a beat; not for good reasons though.

       There you are, Knight Perez...

TO BE CONTINUED...