HINDI SIYA KAAGAD NA NAKASAGOT. Napatitig siya sa mga mata ni Cerlance at biglang nawalan ng sasabihin.

          What was she supposed to say? She was looking at probably the most beautiful eyes she had ever seen her whole life. Tila hinihigop ng mga iyon ang kamalayan niya sa buo niyang katawan. Parang kino-kontrol ang diwa niya. As if they were hypnotizing her; and she had to break that hypnosis before she'd end up submitting herself to him. Again.

           Napakurap siya, and that indeed... somehow... break the spell.

          "Alam mo ba kung ano ang ginawa mo?" she asked.

          "Yeah."

          "Why did you do it?"

          "Why not?"

          "You could get me pregnant."

           Natahimik ito.

           Natahimik din siya.

           And for the next couple of seconds, they just stared at each other intently. Hinihintay niya ang paliwanag niya, habang si Cerlance naman ay tila pinag-iisipan kung ano ang tamang sasabihin.

        Until... his eyes changed their color. They dimmed. And she didn't know how to interpret what his eyes were telling her. She wasn't good at reading people's minds based on the expression in their eyes. Kung alam lang niya'y sana, alam niya lagi ang laman ng isip nito. Ang mga plano nito.

          "That's okay."

          Muli siyang napakurap nang marinig ang sinabi nito. She was confused.

          Ano? Ano'ng sabi niya? That's okay? Gago ba 'to? And why is he so nonchalant?

         "You were too hot I lost control. And that's another first time, Shellany."

          Naguluhan siyang lalo.

          "If I ever get you pregnant, don't worry. I'll step up to the plate. I can provide financially, kahit isang dosena pa ang maging anak ko sa'yo. Besides... It's high time for me to produce an offspring. I'm not getting any younger." Banayad nitong itinaas ang mga kamay sa ere saka ini-unat. "Geez, my arms feel so weak."

           Mangha siyang napatitig kay Cerlance. "Why are you so nonchalant about this?"

        "I don't worry about things I know I could handle."

        "Pero paano ako?" Hindi na niya napigilan pa ang sarili.

       Muli siya nitong sinulyapan. Wala pa ring pagbabago sa eskpresyon. "What do you mean?"

      "Hindi ako handang magkaanak." Lalo kung hindi kasal, gago ka! I would be willing to carry a child, just as long as I'm married!

       Kinunutan ng noo si Cerlance. "You don't want a child?"

      "No, I don't." Not if that child will be born out of wedlock! Pakakasalan mo ako kapag nabuntis ako, gago!

      "If that's the case, you shouldn't have let me touch you without protection."

      "I was confident you would pull it out."

      "Irrespective. Withdrawals are not certain."

      "And you still fu.cked me without a condom."

      "Because I already told you, Shellany, that I was prepared to father a child— anytime. No matter what the circumstances are."

      "But didn't we have an agreement?"

      "I have given up on that agreement since we left Tacloban."

      "What?" Lalo siyang naguluhan. Pumihit siya paharap dito. "What are you talking about?"

       Nagpakawala nang malalim na buntonghininga si Cerlance bago umiwas ng tingin at tumitig sa ceiling ng kotse. Sandali itong tahimik na nag-isip, at binigyan niya ito ng sapat na oras upang pag-isipang mabuti ang sasabihin sa kaniya. This man better give her the explanation she needed to understand why he did what he did.

      "Remember yesterday morning after we had se.x, I told you to just quit on your mission and come back with me to Manila?"

      "Yes, papaano kong makakalimutan kung kahapon lang nangyari?"

      "I asked you that because I don't want you to see him again; because I want you to move forward. Maybe we could... you know. Try something."

      "Try something like what? Hindi kita ma-gets, Cerlance."

      "A relationship, perhaps?"

       Imbes na mamangha sa narinig ay lalo pa siyang nalito. "What, ayaw mo na ng no-strings-attach?"

       Muli siya nitong tinitigan. "I never said that there were feelings involved. What I was suggesting is you and me, exclusively dating."

      "I don't get it. Ayaw mo ng steady relationship pero gusto mo ng exclusively dating? Ano'ng pinagkaiba no'n?" And shit, why was her heart racing? Was she excited? Was that a feeling of excitement? She and Cerlance? Exclusively dating? The heck!

      "Yes. Dahil uulitin ko ang sinabi ko sa'yo noong umagang iyon—you drive me nuts. And that is something I never felt with any woman before. You make me break all my rules, including what I just did." Cerlance couldn't help but smirk at himself. "I never lost control until I met you. I never fu.cked anyone without protection, let alone c*mming inside of her."

          Kumalat ang init sa magkabila niyang pisngi. "That's... so straightforward..."

          Napangiti ito. "Let's try dating each other exclusively and see what happens. To be honest, there are still no feelings involved, so let's not talk about it yet. But one thing is for sure, I want you. And I don't want any other men to have you. I want you just for myself." Dinala nito ang isang kamay sa kaniyang mukha at masuyong dinama ang kaniyang pisngi. "And if I did make you pregnant after what I did, I am willing to be the father of that child."

          Napalunok siya. Lalong bumibilis ang tibok ng puso niya. "What if... things didn't work out between us? Paano kung sablay ang ideya mo? Paano kapag nanawa ka na? Since wala namang damdamin na involved, at mukhang sex lang ang bubuhay sa relasyong mamamagitan sa ating dalawa, malaki ang posibilidad na maumay tayo sa isa't isa. Paano ang... bata?"

          "Ang matatapos lang ay ang 'relasyon' sa pagitan nating dalawa, hindi ang pagiging ama ko. That's a promise."

          Yeah, so he really didn't want to be married kahit mabuntis niya ako.

          Diyos ko, ano ba 'tong pinasok kong butas?

          "I don't know... how 'exclusively dating' works, pero kung tatanongin mo ako ay ayaw ko pang magkaanak, Cerlance."

        Ayaw kong magkaroon ng pamilya na katulad ng pamilya ko. Nabuo ako because of a one-sided love. Kung magkakaanak ako na nabuo lang dahil sa libog, para ko na ring ipinamana sa anak ko ang buhay na mayroon ako noon? I want my child to grow up in a family full of love. Hindi katulad ng kinagisnan ko.

        Huminga siya nang malalim bago nagpatuloy. "So, moving forward, let's use protection to prevent pregnancy."

           Muli ay sandaling natahimik si Cerlance, hanggang sa ibaba nito ang kamay na humahaplos sa kaniyang pisngi, at wala sa loob na nagkibitbalikat. "Sure. That's totally fine with me. I would prefer that, too. Lalo at wala namang kasiguraduhan itong gusto kong mangyari." Itinaas nito ang kanang braso na ini-unan nito sa ulo upang i-unat, at habang ginagawa iyon ay muli itong nagsalita. "If exclusively dating didn't work and if you did get pregnant after what I recklessly did, I want you to keep the pregnancy still. Kung hindi ka handang maging ina, that's fine. Considering the circumstances, I understand and won't judge you. But since you aren't prepared to be the mother of my child, you can just give birth to my baby and I will take everything from there."

          As if I would let you! Hindi ko gustong magkaanak kung hindi ako kasal, pero kung talagang mabubuntis ako ay hindi ko itatakwil ang anak ko! Oh, hindi niya nagi-gets ang point ko...

          She opened her mouth to clarify her statement earlier when Cerlance turned to her again with a light, emotionless smile, and said,

        "Iyon ay kung nabuntis kita. But you would prefer not, do you?"

         "Cerlance, what I mean is—" Kung ano man ang paliwanag na sasabihin niya ay nahinto nang bigla silang may narinig na katok mula sa labas ng bintana ng driver's seat. Sabay na natuon ang tingin nila doon at nakita ang isang may edad na babae at lalaking nakasuot ng pang-bukid na kasuotan, parehong nakakunot ang noo habang sinusuri ng tingin ang sasakyan. Ang may edad na lalaki ay sinubukan pang sumilip sa loob ng bintana, but since it was heavily tinted, he surely didn't see them at the backseat.

       "Thank God!" usal ni Cerlance bago siya hinawakan sa magkabilang mga braso at inalayayang maupo. Initakip nito sa ibabang parte niya ang kumot, saka inayos ang suot na pantalon.

       She had a glimpse of his half-erected manhood before he was able to pull his zippers up and buckle his belt. Napangisi ito sa kaniya.

      "Help has arrived, finally. We're getting out of here."

          Hindi na siya nakapagsalita pa, at tuluyan nang hindi nagawang ipaliwanag ang sarili nang buksan ni Cerlance ang pinto ng backseat sa bahagi nito upang kausapin ang mga nasa labas.

        She was left inside the car, tender all over.

TO BE CONTINUED...