After work Harper and I met up to grab dinner cause I missed her.

We went to get Pasta from Noodles and Company and then rode the L around town for fun.

My mom hates me being on the L so late but the lights were so much prettier at night. And Chicago creeps could be bad but most of them took the hint pretty well. So as for me, as long as I was with someone I didn't feel so bad.

After we got off the train we sat in Harpers car listening to music and just mellowing out.

We had talked about my next move earlier and I had told her that I was seriously considering Northwestern. Harper was going to Loyola because her mom was a professor there but I didn't think I wanted to go to Loyola. I was touring Northwestern with my dad and I was crossing my fingers I liked it.

I needed something good to happen to me finally.

After that we talked about how her and Liam did get together again and gave it another try. Things were going good for them and Harper was not one for feelings so for her to be gushing about him meant she was in deep.

"I really like him C. I know we aren't like you and Jordan but I want to see where this goes."

"I don't know. Jordan and I feel weird right now."

"Why? What's going on?"

"I think it's more one sided. I just don't know if we're going to last."

"Just see where things go. I don't know either but don't stress about it if you can't change it."

"I know. I just can't help but feel like I'm distancing myself from him on purpose."

Her brows furrowed. "Why?"

"Idk maybe I'm trying to protect myself."

"But you know that Jordan is going to protect your heart as best as he can. You should feel safe with that cause no matter what happens he's gonna handle you with care."

"Right," I whispered.

***

A week later it was my birthday. April 3rd. A Tuesday.

The sun was shining. The birds were chirping. And I, I was feeling alive.

It might be seen as self centered to say I loved my birthday but... I loved my birthday. You get presents, people pay attention to you and people are even kind of nice to you. It was great. The only thing that really sucked is when people would sing happy birthday to you, because what were you supposed to do during that? Sing along with them?

My color was changing. I was becoming more of a green kind of girl.

I wore a green ribbon in my hair and paired it with a green spring dress and air forces. I took out my two cornrows and fluffed out my hair. I smiled at myself in the mirror and then flounced down the stairs.

My mom had woken up to make me a smoothie because again I couldn't eat in the morning. But I knew I was going to be eating good for dinner. My dad was taking us downtown to my favorite italian restaurant and he was letting me bring Harper and Jordan.

I guess there were big perks when it came to having a boyfriend that your family's known your whole life.

***

Jordan picked me up for school and I threw my bag in the back before sitting down. I smiled at him cheekily and waited. I fluttered my eyes rapidly at him.

He rolled his eyes and pulled my face towards him so he could kiss my cheek.

"Happy birthday Charlie," he muttered into my skin.

I placed my hand on his jaw and squeezed. "Thank you," I said as I pulled away and settled into my seat.

He grinned as he leaned his torso over me and reached into the glove compartment. He pulled out a little blue box and placed it into my hands.

I smiled broadly at him and tore into the box. I felt my face soften and my eyes start to glaze over. I admired the locket in my hands and flipped the pendant open. My heart squeezed as I saw the pictures inside. There was one of us as kids on the playground and there was one of us on our first date at the arcade. I swallowed back the emotion and kissed him to show my gratitude.

He turned me around to put the necklace on and I clutched the pendant for dear life. After he had clasped it back together he placed my hair back along my neck and looked at me.

"I love you." I said softly.

I saw his face warm. Saying those words hadn't stopped feeling weird. But still, he said it back.

***

When we got to school my girls bombarded me. Harper got me starbucks and a shirt that I've wanted for a while. Margot made me a bracelet and Elyse made me a candy basket. I jumped up and down with excitement because I had such good friends.

They moved on to gushing over my necklace before we had to run off in different directions for class.

After lunch I was at my locker switching out my book when I heard Bryce's voice from behind me. I turned around to see Jordan and his friends walking down the hallway.

I waved at them awkwardly and watched as they elbowed Jordan to get his attention, as if he didn't already see me. He smiled back at me and they continued to rib him for it. I shook my head at their antics and turned to walk away from them.

As I walked I self consciously focused on my feet before I did something stupid like trip.

They were still in earshot as I moved away which is why I heard one of them say, "Damn Jordan, how in the hell did you pull that off?"

I smiled sneakily as I heard what could only be Jordan's fist making contact with one of their arms.

I let out a wistful sigh. I hated high school but it was shit like this that I would miss.

I was almost down the hall when I heard Bryce come to a realization.

"Jordan, why didn't you remind me! It's her birthday right?"

Jordan must have said something because right as I was going to turn the corner Bryce and his group of idiots broke out into song.

I let out an audible sigh and slowly turned around. Because after all I had to address them. In their own annoying way, they were trying to be nice.

I tried to smile at them but it came off as more of a grimace because they had half the school staring at me.

I got closer so they didn't have to keep yelling at me from across the hallway. I gave Jordan a look because he needed to get his friends to stop making such a spectacle but he just stood there smiling. He thought this shit was funny.

He was gonna get it from me later. I rolled my eyes at him and gave the boys a look. And once they finished they all shouted varied forms of birthday wishes and I returned them all.

I then moved on to teasing them because they had no subtlety. I was hitting Bryce especially hard.

"Y'all really haven't changed at all. Literally middle schoolers."

"That's a good thing right?" Bryce said.

I scratched my head and looked away. I heard the rest of them laugh.

"Come on Charlie. You and me, we been tight, don't play me like that."

"I'm kidding Bryce. You know I love you."

He looked at Jordan and hooked his arm around his shoulders. "What I tell you man?"

Jordan shoved him and narrowed his eyes at me.

I smiled innocently at him.

"I gotta get to class but thanks everyone." I said as I started to leave.

"See you later Charlie." Bryce said flirtily.

I turned around and shook my head.

Boys.

***

After dinner Jordan and I were sitting in his car. He was driving me home with his hand on my leg. We had beaten my parents home, so we sat in my driveway.

"Charlie?"

"Hmm?" I said as I removed my gaze from the window.

"What's going on?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're being distant."

"It's nothing."

"What's up?"

I sighed. "It's just school, and so much change and I guess I'm just all over the place."

He looked at me intently like he was trying to read me before kissing my temple. "Okay baby."

I smiled a small smile.

"You can always talk to me about shit. You know that."

"Yeah."

***

After I cornrowed my hair and slapped a bonnet on I checked my phone. Mrs. Margaret had asked if I wanted to come over on Saturday to talk. I was going alone this time and I needed it. I really missed him.