I pushed open my front door and entered my house. I'd stayed at Rhys' house pretty late, but his parents hadn't come home. Rhys told me that was normal, and that he was glad I'd kept him and Hyde company.

It was late now, and my phone had a million missed texts and calls from my friends. I couldn't bring myself to answer them, though. What was I supposed to say? That I'd chickened out last minute?

"Richard Lawrence Gray Junior!"

I winced at my mom's voice as I stepped into the house. She stormed into the entryway and grabbed my ear, yanking me into the kitchen.

"Ow!" I whined.

"Your father and I called you a million times!" she snapped, releasing my ear.

"Actually, I called him twice," dad said.

"Not helping, Dick!" mom said, glaring at him. She turned that glare back to me. "At least let us know when you're not coming home. I texted Wally and he said you'd gone to Josh's, but when I texted Josh he said you'd left and he hadn't heard from you."

"Ow," I repeated, rubbing my ear. "I went to Rhys' house. We were swimming."

"Rhys?" mom said. "Who is Rhys?"

"Rhys..." I frowned, realizing that I didn't actually know his last name. Safe, Robin. Very safe. "Uh, well, he's a kid from school. We met through Piers."

That was twisting the truth a little, but at least mom would know I wasn't making someone up. She crossed her arms, still looking annoyed.

"Text us next time," she said, hitting me in the side of the head lightly. "Honestly, you're such a pain sometimes. You're your father's son."

"I use my phone sometimes!" dad argued.

"Not enough," mom said.

"Alright, before you two start arguing, I was with Rhys, and I'll text you next time," I said, and hurried out of the room before mom could rant.

I felt a little better after swimming at Rhys' for a few hours (also mindfucked that his name was R-H-Y-S and not R-E-E-S-E what the actual hell). Still, I ignored my texts and calls and tossed my phone on my nightstand. I'd have to deal with it tomorrow.

My phone buzzed again and I groaned, tugging my shirt off and digging around for pajamas. I left my room and showered quickly, changing and heading back. I crawled into bed, reluctantly picking up my phone and checking the new texts.

From: Josh

Goodnight Robin.

From: Wally

You don't have to talk to me. But please just send me anything so I know you're safe

I sighed and texted a goodnight message to Josh. I took a picture of my bed and texted it to Wally with just the word "safe" accompanying it.

I was safe, sure. Not okay, but safe. Wally knew that. That's why he hadn't asked me if I was okay.

I put my phone on do not disturb and tossed it on my nightstand. I yanked my covers over my head and curled up, squeezing my eyes shut. Man, my friends were going to kick my sorry ass tomorrow.

***

"ROBIN!"

I spun around as Wally threw himself at me. I just barely managed to catch him without falling over, and he hugged me tightly.

He pulled away and fixed me with a stern look. "You don't have to say where you are or what you're doing, but don't give me a heart attack like that! Your mom said you left Josh's house but no one knew where you were. I was worried about you."

I pat his messy hair. "Okay, mom, I'll text you in the future."

"Do you need gelato?" he asked, his own way of asking me if I wanted to talk about it or if I just wanted to be left alone about it.

"I went to Josh's and then I left and went to Rhys' house," I said, rubbing the back of my neck. "Wally, I didn't end it. Josh wants to try fixing things."

Wally's face fell, but he struggled to give me an encouraging smile. "Okay, if that's really what you want, I'll support you. But if things aren't getting better, promise me you won't let him guilt you into a relationship?"

"I promise," I said.

"When did you and Rhys become such good friends?" Wally asked, cocking his head to the side curiously.

I shrugged. "He's just an easy guy to get along with. He's one of those people that doesn't make you feel awkward." I pat Wally's hair again, giving him a smile. "Kind of like you, but taller and with nicer hair."

Wally huffed. "I could still grow!"

"You probably won't, though," I said, leaning my arm against him. "You're not that short, Wally."

He came up a little past my shoulder, but he was still the smallest of our friend group. Since he had always been more of an artist that an athlete, he also lacked muscle, which made him look smaller than he actually was.

I looked past Wally and frowned as Josh came over to us. The bell for class would ring soon, so I wouldn't have to deal with him for long, but still.

"Hey," Josh said. He hesitated for a moment before glancing at Wally. "Hi, Wally."

"Hi Josh!" Wally said.

I pulled my arm away from Wally and faced Josh. How were we supposed to fix things? I didn't even know where to start.

But just him saying hi to Wally was him making an effort. I knew he was jealous of Wally, so this was his first step towards trying. It was small, almost unnoticeable, but it was there.

"Where were you last night? Your mom didn't know," Josh said, holding his hand out to me.

"I was just clearing my head," I said, which was true. Here I was, still moving along to the same rhythm, leaving things out so Josh wouldn't start up a fight. I was always on the defensive around him, and that was the biggest thing I needed to work on. But not right now. It would just send us spiraling into a familiar fight if I mentioned that I had gone to Rhys' house last night.

I took his hand in mine. Wally watched and gave me a smile, but it was a sad one. He was disappointed in my decision, but he was trying so hard to support me.

"I'll see you later, Robin. I'm going to go find Piers and Five," Wally said, giving me a short wave before taking off.

I glanced at Josh and frowned. His brow was furrowed as he watched Wally go, as if he was trying to figure something out.

"What?" I asked.

"He said he had to go find Piers and Five," he said.

"Yea, and?" I said, not getting his point.

"He didn't say Five and Piers, he said Piers and Five," Josh said.

"Call the police, this crime cannot stand," I said in horror.

Josh shook his head. "No, no. Are you sure he and Five are actually dating? I haven't seen them holding hands or kissing or doing anything like a couple. They just said they were dating, and that was that."

"Wally is really shy," I said, shrugging. "He doesn't like PDA. Besides, he's never kissed anyone before. He's probably nervous that we'll tease him if we see him kissing Five."

"Speaking of kissing..." Josh turned and brought his lips dangerously close to mine. "We can slow things down as much as you want. We don't have to have sex or make out or even kiss, if you don't want to."

"And yet here you are, teasing me," I said, bringing my lips to his, closing my eyes and trying to sink into the kiss like I used to.

Sparks didn't fly. My heart didn't race. It was just lips on lips, hollow and brief and a sad reminder of a passion that had fizzled out.

The bell rang and we pulled away from each other, neither of us speaking. Josh took my hand again and walked me to class, kissing me on the cheek before leaving to head to his own homeroom.

When lunch time came around, I sat at my usual table. I was only mildly surprised when Josh came and sat with us, since I really should've been expecting that.

"Hey, Robin!"

I looked up as Rhys came over to me. He held out a bracelet towards me, one of the many Wally had made me through the years. There was one I always kept on my left wrist, and the others I took off whenever I was going to be in water.

"Is this yours? I found it over by the back door when I put my dog out this morning. He must've grabbed it while we were swimming," he said.

"Yea, that's mine," I said, trying hard not to look at Josh out of the corner of my eye. Oh boy, he was going to be pissed.

I reached for the bracelet, but someone slammed into Rhys' shoulder and he stumbled forward, dropping the bracelet to the ground and nearly falling on me. He caught himself on the table and looked over his shoulder at the three boys walking past us. None of them bothered an apology or a glance at Rhys.

"What the hell?" I said.

Rhys smiled, but it was a little shaky. He knelt down and picked the bracelet up, placing it in my hands.

"Oh, those are just some guys I know. Don't worry about it," he said. "Anyways, I just wanted to give that back to you. I'm glad Hyde didn't eat it. I'll catch you later, though. I promised to jog the indoor track with some friends this period."

He left the cafeteria and I slipped the bracelet on my wrist. Five waited until he was gone before facing me, an eyebrow raised.

"Those were soccer players who just slammed into him. Nate and Landon and some kid I don't really know," she said. "I told you he was a prick. If even the bitchiest kids on the soccer team hate him, it's probably because he made Strike cry."

"Strike Shields?" Josh said. "I heard about that. Didn't he get hurt because of Rhys?"

"Supposedly because Rhys shook his confidence," Five said.

Josh tugged on my hand, pulling me out of my seat. Great, here comes the fight.

He pulled me out of the cafeteria and into a quiet section of the hallway. I waited patiently for the bitching to begin.

"He's not a good guy," Josh said. "You left my house and went to him? What the hell, Robin? When did you become so close to Rhys?"

"He's always been nice to me," I said. "This is the exact jealousy that caused problems in the first place, Joshua."

"I'm not being jealous!" Josh said, getting angry now. "Rhys might seem like a nice guy, but I heard about what he did to Strike. He's only nice until you do something he doesn't like."

"I'm sorry, can you repeat that? I just kept hearing 'hypocrite' over and over," I said.

"Can you take anything seriously?" he snapped.

"Not when you bitch about everything. I don't know what to take seriously and what to just ignore, because you bitch about literally everything I do," I snapped right back.

"Well you want to spend more time with other men than me! And then you tell me things aren't working! Things can't work if you don't put in any fucking effort!" Josh said.

I felt my eyes water and I reached out, taking fistfuls of his shirt. "I don't..."

My voice trembled and stopped. I don't what? Don't know where this went wrong? Don't know how to fix it? Don't know how everything had gotten so twisted inside of me?

"Shit," Josh said quietly, wrapping his arms around me and holding me against his chest. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry."

I could feel the tears rolling down my cheeks, wondering when it was that they fell. How was it that sorrow crept up so quietly when it hurt so badly?

"I'm sorry," Josh mumbled, rubbing my back.

I knew I should say it back, but my words were choking me and I couldn't say a damn thing. I closed my eyes and put my arms around Josh, burying my face against his shoulder.

I picked my head up and kissed Josh, hard. Why couldn't things ever just stay the same?

Josh kissed me back, but nothing felt the same. Things were changing, and that made my heart race faster than any kiss could have.

I was drifting away from Wally and Josh, and I hated it. I hated how pessimistic my thoughts had been lately. I hated all of this change.

I slowly pulled away from Josh. "I'm friends with Rhys. You can hate that all you want, but it's not going to change. Whatever he did to this Strike kid, that's between them. Unless he does something shitty to me, we're friends. Besides, I haven't heard his side of this story."

"Maybe you should ask him his side," Josh said, his arms still around me. He gave me a quick kiss before dropping his arms. "You rush into things and trust people too easily, Robin."

He headed back towards the cafeteria and I took off towards the indoor track. Whatever was going on between me and Rhys, Josh was right. I trusted too easily, and maybe I should have the truth this time.

I pushed open the doors to the gym and headed up the stairs to the track. Rhys was jogging alongside some guy, both of them looking focused as they ran. Another kid was seated on a crate near the stairs, holding a stopwatch.

I waited until Rhys and the kid reached the crate and stopped running, both of them trying to catch their breaths. The kid on the crate looked at the stopwatch.

"Still slow, Ty," he said.

The guy next to Rhys dropped to the ground and let out a groan. "Shit."

Rhys looked up and noticed me. "Robin? What's up?"

"Can I talk to you for a few minutes?" I asked.

He nodded and wiped his forehead, though his bandana had probably soaked up any sweat. Oh, gross, I hope he cleaned that thing every night.

Rhys led me to the opposite corner of the track and leaned against the wall. He nodded at me to speak, looking curious.

"This is going to be super rude and I'm sorry, but I keep hearing about it and I need to know your side," I said. "Strike Shields?"

Rhys' face paled horribly and he dropped his gaze. "Whatever you heard was probably right."

"Really? Because I heard you yelled at this kid and walked away while he cried on his knees. I heard that whatever you said to him was so terrible he quit the track team and lost his nerve so badly that he ended up with an injury," I said. "That doesn't sound like you. So I wanted your side of things."

He reached up and tightened his bandana. "There are a few details missing, but that's pretty much the story."

I stared at him in surprise. He looked shaken and guilty beyond belief, but he wasn't even defending himself.

"Rhys, I've never seen you do a mean thing," I said.

"And you haven't known me that long." He dropped his hands from his bandana, and they clenched into trembling fists. "You want a good guy? That was Strike. Me? I'm more selfish than you'd ever believe."

"Maybe you had a selfish moment, but I doubt you're a selfish person," I said, surprising myself with how fierce my voice came out. "I don't know what happened between you and Strike, but you're the kind of guy who lets a kid he just met come over and use his pool to ease stress. You're not a bad person. Since we met, you've done nothing but try to help me. A selfish person doesn't do that when he gains nothing from it."

Rhys looked at me in surprise. "You don't know the things I said to Strike," he said, his voice weak. "He was crying on his knees, and I walked away from him. I never even said sorry."

Rhys bit his lip and ran a hand through his hair, his bangs falling over the bandana. He looked at me, and the smile he gave me was infinitely sad.

"Don't take Wally for granted. He seems like a really good friend. Don't ever put your boyfriend above him," Rhys said.

"I would never put anyone above Wally," I said. He had been there for me my whole life.

"I said I'd never put anyone above Strike," Rhys said.

"I shouldn't have asked. I'm sorry," I said.

"I'm glad you asked. I hope you don't make the same mistakes I did. Strike was my best friend, but in the end, I hurt him worse than anyone else ever could have," Rhys said, looking away from me again. "Strike didn't deserve that. No one did. Don't take your friends for granted."

"Rhys! Stop taking so long! I am literally dying!" the kid on the crate called.

"Good, die faster," Rhys called back, apparently forgetting the advice he had just given me.

"I'd tell you to fight me, but you have muscles and I'm a pansy bitch," the kid said, and slumped down on the crate. "Quit taking your sweet time or you can find someone else to time you guys."

Rhys rolled his eyes. "Sorry, Robin. I've got to go before my friends complain anymore. You think Josh can bitch, but you have no idea." He gave me a smile and reached out, slapping my shoulder good naturedly. "Anytime you need me, consider me a friend. If you'll let me be that."

"I've made plenty of mistakes. I have no right to judge you for yours," I said.

I held my fist out to him and he bumped his against it before turning and jogging back over to his friends. I left, heading down the stairs and out of the gym.

He was right, though. I shouldn't take my friends for granted. I had ditched them yesterday, and now I felt horribly guilty about it. So from now on, I was going to try. I'd try to fix things with Josh, I'd try to be a better friend, and I'd try to get things back to normal with Wally.