"Junior!"

I cracked my eyes open as someone shook me. I blinked sleepily and looked up at my mom.

"Come on Junior, get up. If you sleep any longer now you'll never go to bed at a good time tonight," she said.

I rubbed my eyes as I sat up. Mom reached out and tried to smooth down my hair.

"You look like Wally when your hair gets that messy," she said.

"Wally plays with his hair a lot. It's always messy," I said, swatting her hands away and checking the time. It was nearly dinner time, but I didn't smell smoke so I was assuming my mom hadn't started cooking yet.

"Your father and I are going out to eat with some friends. It was kind of a last minute thing, but there are leftovers you can heat up," mom said.

"Lucky me," I said.

She rolled her eyes and peeked out of my door. "Dick, get ready! We have to leave as soon as I'm done talking to Junior!"

Dad mumbled back some reply as he passed by my room. I leaned back against my pillows, wishing my parents would leave already so I could go back to sleep.

"Don't wear that shirt! It doesn't match with your pants, Dick!" mom said in annoyance before coming back into my room.

See, Wally hadn't just randomly chosen the nickname Robin for me. No, lucky me, my dad's name was Richard Gray, and he for some reason thought it was a grand idea to pass that name along to his son. I was now the miserably named Richard Gray, Jr.

What sucked about it, though, was that my dad went by Dick, and so my family had taken to calling me that, even my parents from time to time. That meant I grew up with an overwhelming amount of dick jokes, and everyone around me turned into an immature 12 year old when they heard me being called Dick.

Even better was when I came out as gay and heard "guess you are what you eat, Dick" every other sentence. I wouldn't mind my name so much if everyone around me could just grow up already.

So I'd just started saying my name was Robin, and told my parents to stick to that or Junior, claiming that I got too confused when my mom called both me and my father Dick.

"Junior, are you listening to me?"

I looked up at mom. "Absolutely not."

She let out an exaggerated sigh. "I said we'll probably be home late tonight. Please just go to bed at a decent time. I hate when you stay up late. And make sure you do your homework."

"Yea, sure, got it," I said, waving her away. "Bye, mom."

She left my room and I waited until I heard the front door shut. I curled up on my bed, dragging the covers over my face and squeezing my eyes shut.

I was just drifting back off to sleep when the doorbell rang. I groaned and threw the covers off of myself, getting out of bed. I was going to murder whoever was at the damn door.

I went downstairs and yanked the door open. I glared in tired annoyance. "Joshua."

He shoved me into the house and kicked the door shut. He looked around for any sign of my parents.

"I'm home alone. This better be good. I was about to sleep," I said.

He grabbed my hand and dragged me up to my bedroom. "What the fuck, Robin?"

"Don't 'What the fuck, Robin' me, you're the one who came storming into my house!" I said.

"Why are you taking Rhys out and buying him food?" he demanded. "You told me you barely even knew him."

"I took him out as an apology. You know, since you accused the guy of trying to get with me," I said, narrowing my eyes at Josh.

"Don't act like you wouldn't leave me the second someone better came along," Josh snapped. "All you do is treat me like shit and then bitch that I'm not good enough."

"Don't turn this on me," I said, voice furious. "You're the one who doesn't trust me and gets mad when I do the exact same things that you do. If you don't text me, you say I'm overreacting for getting mad, but if I don't text you, I get bitched at for the next three years about it."

"Yea, well good luck finding anyone who puts up with your high maintenance ass the way I fucking do!" Josh said.

I shoved him roughly. "You shut the fuck up, Josh. Just shut up. You're an over jealous, controlling asshole!"

"You try to play the victim but you're a shitty person!" he cried angrily.

I gripped his shirt tightly, feeling angry and desperate because I knew he was right. I slowly released his shirt and turned away from him.

"Go," I said, the fight draining out of me. "Just go."

It was silent for a moment before his arms wrapped around my waist. "I didn't mean that."

"You did," I said. "We both meant it."

He kissed my shoulder before resting his chin there, holding me against his body. "I'm sorry. I just...I don't trust Rhys. You don't know him, Robin. I've seen what he can be like."

"You don't trust me, either," I said, trying to push his hands off.

He tightened his grip. "I do. I did. You act like you can't wait to get rid of me. I can't help it. I keep waiting for the guy to come along who will take you away."

"If you don't want to lose me, then stop acting like you don't care," I said, finally turning in his arms to face him. "You acted like you hated being around me, so I started acting like I hated being around you."

"I'm sorry," he said quietly, leaning forward and kissing me. "I don't know where this all went wrong. I wish it never went wrong."

I closed my eyes, trying to dig through my jumbled thoughts to find a word that could explain what I was feeling. "Happy" wasn't it, and neither was "sad". Just...numb. Content. It didn't hurt but it didn't heal.

I could take that plunge into uncertainty, or I could keep repeating this predictable pattern. Those were my choices now.

I opened my eyes and hooked an arm around Josh's neck, pulling him close so I could kiss him. If predictable was a flickering light, it was still safer than the darkness of uncertainty.

Grabbing Josh's arm with my free hand, the two of us stumbled over to my bed as our kisses deepened. For another night, at least, I wouldn't sleep alone.

***

"You look pretty down today," Five said, sitting next to me.

I was on one of the benches in the hallway. I looked up at her and shrugged.

"Yea, well, I feel pretty down today," I said.

She nudged me lightly. "Whose ass am I kicking?"

"Mine," I said.

"Can't grant that request," she said, putting her arm around my shoulders. "Do you want to talk about it, or do you want me to just take you to the comic book store afterschool to cheer you up?"

"It's just, I don't know, Five. Josh and I had sex last night, and it's not like that's anything new, but it just felt like we were avoiding our problems," I said, running my hands through my hair.

Five hugged me. "Robin, you've gotta listen to us. We're just trying to look out for you."

I leaned against her. "I'm stubborn."

"Boy, don't I know that," she grumbled. "Hey, afterschool, let's all hang out, okay? It'll make you feel better. We can watch a movie or play Dungeons and Dragons or stuff our faces with food or something. Sound like a plan?"

"Yea, sounds like a plan," I said, holding my fist out to her. She knocked her fist against mine.

"Let's go find the others," she said, helping me up.

"Hey, Five," I said, and she glanced at me curiously. "You're lucky to be with Wally. And he's lucky to be with you."

She smiled a little. "Robin, you don't even know the half of it."

We wandered the hallways until we found Piers. He shut his locker and slung his bag over his shoulder, facing us.

"Where's Wally?" he asked.

"We were hoping he was with you," I said.

"Wally's right here!" Wally said, running up to us and trying to catch his breath. "Sorry, sorry, I was helping the art teacher and Stanley rearrange the art room so some kids could paint banners in there later. I think they're going to start first period and work on them throughout the day."

"So you're not hiding out in the art room all day?" I asked.

Wally shook his head, messy hair bouncing around. "No, not today. They're getting the banners ready for the fundraiser."

"Well, now that you're here; afterschool we're all hanging out. If anyone tries to skip out on it, I'll drag them with us by force," Five said.

"Dammit, I hate it when I'm forced to actually hang out with my own friends," Piers said.

Wally smiled at us. "I think it'll be fun! You guys can come to my house, if you want. My mom bought brownie mix for us to bake." He glanced at me, and his smile was bright but his eyes were sad. "My dad can make us smoothies, Robin. He'll make your favorite for you!"

"Yea, that sounds great, Wally," I said, forcing a smile of my own. Why? Why did things suddenly feel different around Wally?

I looked around and spotted Josh standing at the end of the hallway with his friends. He looked bored as two of them argued over something, but I was relieved he hadn't come over to me. Everything felt so jumbled all of a sudden.

Wally touched my arm, surprising me out of my thoughts. He tugged on my arm a bit and I nodded and followed him, Five and Piers watching us go.

Wally led me down to the art wing, which was, as usual, quiet. He pulled me into the main room, where a boy and a girl were laying out large banners across the floor.

"Hi Marie, hi Staz! Do you guys mind if we use this room until classes start?" Wally asked.

"Sure, Wally. We'll let you have it until the bell rings. But you know after that we need it to work on the banners," Marie said, leading Staz out of the room and shutting the door.

Once we were alone, Wally turned to face me, a frown fixed on his face. "You're not talking to me."

I ran a hand through my hair, wondering how I was supposed to talk to him. How could I sit here and complain when he had spent all this time warning me that this was exactly what was going to happen in the end?

"Please talk to me, Robin," Wally said.

"I don't have anything to say." That was a lie. That was a lie so big it swallowed me the instant it left me.

"Then I'll talk." He was fidgeting nervously with his hands, but his eyes were as fierce as yesterday. "I think you need to break up with Josh. Staying with him is hurting you, and you know it." He looked away from me, that fierceness giving way to sadness. "Remember when Five hurt her knee in a game? She was injured for two weeks. She got used to the pain, and even though it was still there, she could ignore it. But everyone else could see it because she had changed to endure it. She limped all the time."

He waited for me to say something, but I had nothing to defend myself with. I was bringing all of this on myself and then complaining. So for once, I just remained silent.

The bell rang, but neither of us moved. Wally looked desperate for me to say something, anything.

The door to the art room opened and Marie and Staz came back in. Wally forced a smile and turned to face them.

"Sorry, we were just about to head out. Actually, Robbie, I'm going to help them set up the banners and then I'll head to class. I'll see you later." He moved past me to grab a folded up banner, not meeting my eyes. "Stanley, come help me roll this out over there."

Marie was watching me curiously as Staz moved past me to help Wally. I dropped my gaze and hurried out of the room, shoving my hands in my pockets.

Instead of heading to class, I went to the pool room. Despite the bell ringing, a few kids were still in the pool, and the swim coach was chatting with them.

"Robin?" I turned to face a curious looking Rhys. His hair tumbled into his eyes without his bandana on to keep it back. He was in his swim trunks, a towel slung over his shoulder. "What are you doing in here? Are you looking for Piers? I haven't seen him."

I shook my head. "No, I'm not looking for Piers. Won't you be late to class?"

He pushed his hair out of his eyes and shook his head. "I'll get a pass and head there in a little. What about you?"

I paused, wondering what the hell I was even doing here. Why had I come searching for Rhys?

Rhys realized that I wasn't going to speak. He gestured at me to wait where I was and went over to the swim coach. He said something to her and she nodded and replied. Rhys smiled and said something else before coming back over to me.

"You're covered. Go get changed. I'll meet you in the water," he said, tossing his towel onto the bench.

I went into the locker room and changed into swim trunks. I went back out into the pool room, searching the large pool until I spotted Rhys.

I lowered myself into the water, shivering a little. I swam over to where Rhys was, and he leaned against the edge of the pool.

"Swimming helps me clear my head," he said. "Maybe it'll help you too."

"Why did you start swimming?" I asked, joining him against the edge.

He shrugged. "My grandma always wanted me to come over and swim. I was afraid of water, but she helped me with that fear. And, I don't know, I was good at swimming. I was fast and I had good form. So I joined the swim team in upper elementary." He glanced at me. "What about you? What's your specialty?"

I folded my arms over the edge of the pool, trying not to look at Rhys now. "I don't have a specialty. Wally is good at art and writing, Five is good at soccer, and Piers is good at anything athletic. I don't have a talent."

"Everyone has a talent!" Rhys said. He splashed me a little to get me to look at him. "Maybe your specialty is being good at video games, or knowing comic book details. It doesn't have to be something spectacular."

I couldn't help but stare at Rhys a little. Was he really capable of making someone cry and tearing their self-esteem down so horribly?

"I..." He sighed. "I hope you didn't get in a fight with Josh just because we hung out yesterday."

I shook my head. "Rhys, Josh would pick a fight with me if I didn't match my boxers to his. He's always ready to bitch."

"It's not my place, but I'm going to say this anyways. He seems really toxic for you, Robin. When people are that bad for you, you've got to cut them out of your life." He gave me a sad, tired smile. "It's hard when it's someone you're close with. You spend all this time building up a relationship with them, and you're convinced they could never hurt you. But you step away from them and you realize that, while it's hard at first, in the long run you're better off."

"Let's swim," I said.

Rhys nodded and kicked himself off the edge. I copied him and the two of us lapped the pool together in silence. I dunked my head under the water and let my thoughts drown.