" Where she must have gone? That too this late? And what did she mean by whatever she did? Subha! What is she saying? " Said Bondita panicking. " Did she.....she burnt the bouquet? But why? She can't do this. No!  " Her face etched with worry at the thought of her wellbeing. The bouquet of roses was long forgotten.

"Bondita! Bondita ! Relax! Let me explain. I  knew she did that from the morning itself." Said Subhalaxmi calmly.

"What! Why didn't you tell me?" Batakrishna and Bondita said in unison.

" Bondita! You were already so upset and injured too , he didn't want to worry you more. "

"He also knew? "

" Why didn't you both tell me? " Batakrishna accused. Subhalaxmi frowned at his tone.

" I didn't even saw you after that incident. You had not come out of your room since morning. And after that I went to meet a patient. " Subhalaxmi could read his expressions of guilt on his face. " What did you do Batuk?" She narrowed her eyes at him.

"I.....I..... just aa...asked her. Wh-why  did she do it?" The acceptance of his vile words he said to her was too painful to bear. " I might have said a few things to her confronting her." He averted his gaze , unable to look into her eyes. 

"What? Are you out of your mind? Who asked you to do that? " She bellowed.

" What else would I have done? Leave her unscathed knowing she tried to hurt Boudi. I....I mean I thought she tried to!  Why did Dada leave her in the first place,  unconfronted, is beyond my understanding."

His words made Subhalaxmi furious. He didn't know the gravity of Shetukala's situation. What all would he have said to her? Shetukala looked the weakest woman around her , but the strongest she had ever felt in her whole life. She knew her insecurities , her fears , her misery. Her mental stability was hanging on a thin thread. Ready to break with a slightest blow of wind. Knowing him and his love for his family, she knew he would not have held himself back in unleashing his anger on her. What all he must have said to her, that she left the house? 

" Listen you dumbhead!" She pointed her finger at him furiously.
"You don't even know the 'L' of law  and you think yourself to be a barrister or what? Who are you? Judge ?Who gave the verdict on his own? 
Your dada, who doubts and confronts people for his living, wouldn't know who hurt his beloved wife? Wouldn't do anything to correct the things? I know she burnt the roses, but  Bondita burnt her hands on her own , in the pretext of saving the bouquet. Shetukala didn't tell her to jump in the fire."

" Yes, Batuk. I became impulsive in the heat of the moment."  Bondita spoke. 

"But ....but....why would she do that? Why burn the roses? What  would that give her? "

Subhalaxmi eyed at Batakrishna, weighing what she should reveal and what not. 

"PTSD."

"PTSD?" Asked Bondita.  Batakrishna could feel his heart clenching. He was no expert in psychology , but knew what it meant.

"Yes, post traumatic stress disorder. It is a psychological condition in which a person is unable to recover from a major life threatening trauma. Shetukala is vulnerable to triggers that bring back memories of the trauma. "

Then it clicked to Bondita. "But she never behaved like this before."

"The recent intensive  interrogation and the investigation of case has digged out the repressed memories from her mind, in form of flashbacks and nightmares."

Nightmares!  Batakrishna thought.

"But the flowers?"

"Roses Bondita! Roses! They are her trigger points. Her act was a heightened reactivity to the triggering stimulus. She has very less control on her emotional and physical response to them. A patient goes back into his past when stimulated by the familiar triggers. He/she believe themselves to be under the same scenario. The lines between the past and present smudge to the level of the loss of  orientation of time, place, and person. And they behave the same way they thought they would if allowed a chance to go back into the past. Either avoid the situation or kill the root cause of it. "

"What happened to her , Subha?" He asked eagerly.

" Batuk! That is not my story to tell. Also, I won't breach the code of conduct."

Bondita's eyes teared listening to her sufferings.
A girl smiling all day, hid so much pain behind those smiles.
"We should inform Barrister Babu. He is still in the office. I'll go and call him. "She ran to the telephone and dialled hurriedly.

Shetukala's frightened face when she used to wake up from nightmares, her constant fidgeting of  hands, the way she used to tremble at the mention of her family, and past. All this flashed in front of his eyes like a never ending horror film.
Her tear stricken face when he last confronted her, was branded on his retina, searing his eyes.

A sharp pain tug in his heart as he recalled the vile words he said to her. He felt himself to be the worst person in that moment  he had ever seen in his life.
Not able to withstand the helplessness and the burden of guilt anymore ,Batakrishna rushed out of the dining hall. "Subha, take care of Boudi, I am going to find Shetu. "

"Where will you--" Her words hung in air, as she saw Batakrishna running to his room and bringing his emergency kit with him. He then went outside. 

" Suraj, did you see Shetukala going outside today?" He asked the guard.

"Yes, Chhoto jomidar babu, I saw her going 
outside about two or three hours ago. She had a small potli in her hand and she was crying." Said Suraj.

The mention of her tears stung in his ears.

"Then, why didn't you stop her? It didn't cross your mind that she might get into trouble alone at night. Why didn't you inform any of us? For what do we pay you? To sit and gossip? " He yelled and pulled him by his collar. 

" I.... I... I am sorry chhoto jomidar babu.   I thought she.... might be going back to her home."  Suraj feared at his temper.

Batakrishna gave him a rough push, took his motorcycle and stormed off, leaving a trail of smoke behind.
I am coming shetu. Don't worry! I am coming. I'll find you.

He looked for her at the nearest railway station and tram stops but she was to be found nowhere. He would stop any bullock cart in his sight and ask them her whereabouts.

"Kaka, kaka, listen to me. Have you, have you seen a girl maybe 18-19 years old. This tall, very very fair in color, petite figure wearing red saree. She wears a large nose ring. No, no today she didn't wear it . Have you seen her? She might be holding a potli in her hand."

" No I haven't seen anyone of this discription." The man replied.

"Kaki, kaki, have you seen a girl....."

" Dada! Have you seen a girl... she... she was.... "
Vexatious thoughts clouded his mind, twisting his heart painfully, when everyone he asked  denied to have seen her.
After a long search, when he couldn't find her, he broke down at the middle of the road, tears of despair streaming down his eyes.

Where are you shetu?
Where do I look for you?

He walked upto the temple , a few feet in front of him and  prayed in front of the idol of Maa Durga.

"Oh dugga maa, please keep her safe. She.... she gets frightened easily. She should not ...not land into any trouble. I don't know if she has eaten something or not. She didn't came for meal the whole day. If anything happens to her , I won't be able to forgive myself." He cried, tears streaming down on his cheeks, and his voice choking with guilt and helplessness.

His body shivered thinking of the unpleasant situations she could have landed into.
"No, no nothing will happen to her". He murmured consoling himself.

"Dugga maa! I would never let her go out of my sight, once I found her. Please help me , please." He intertwined  his hands tightly in plea. 

Not finding any more way to find her, he came out of the temple, and sat on its stairs.

He heard a man talking, probably to a child.
" You go back to the house, I will come in the noon tomorrow. I have to go to Chandan Nagar now."

"But Baba, you had promised that you will take us to the town tomorrow to get us new clothes for didi's wedding." The kid whined.

" Ohho, Madho! Don't you understand, it is very important. A lady has given me these gold jhumkas to take her to the Chandan Nagar. If I deny her, we will lose the chance.
It is  worth my 6 months income.
Once, I sell it, we will buy all sorts of clothes and sweets for the wedding, and we could do her wedding with all the celebration. Go tell your maa, to pack some food for me for the journey."
The sight of familiar jhumkas caught Batakrishna's attention.

Batakrishna was listening to him, and he approached the man.
"Dada, whom are you talking about? Can I see  those earings? Which lady are you talking about?"

The man looked at him from head to foot scrtuinizng him and said, "Who are you? And what you have to do with the girl?"

"I....I am looking for a girl. Is she wearing a red saree? This, this tall. She... She has long hair, till waist. And fair in color. She might be  carrying a potali in her hand. Have.... have you seen her? "

"Who is she to you? I very well know men like you, fulfilling your hungry desires by trapping innocent girls. But, mind you saahib, I will not let any harm come to her while she is in my protection." Tha man said defiantly.

Had this been some other day, Batakrishna would had been proud of this man taking stand for a girl. But at this moment, he couldn't help but clench his fist in anger, listening to the unpleasant words towards himself that too regarding her.
" Dada! She is, is family. She left the house in anger. I need to take her back her  home. Please Dada! Tell me where is she. These jhumkas, thse are of shetu." He snatched them out of his hand.

The man  yanked. The earrings back. "How do I believe you that you are not lying?"

"She.... she herself will tell that she knows me. Please take me to her. Please Dada! "  He joined his hands and pleaded.

The man gauged a sense of sincerity in his words. He looked like a rich man, wearing shirt and trousers held by suspenders. Holding hands in front of a poor coachman that too for a girl was a rare sight. "Come with me!" He said and  took him to the backside of the temple.

***

Shetukala was sitting under a tree, hugging her knees to her  chest.

Jis diye ko andhere me roshni ka strot samjha tha,
Aj usine hath jala diya .

This is what she had feared all along. The higher you fly , the more painful is the fall. She didn't want to think of anything else, other than her sole motive in life, to get justice for herself, for her family. But why she fell in this trap. Trap of hope!

A hope of a new family, a new source of hapiness. It was a far fetched dream for her. Love was not even in the sight in her daydreaming.  How could she even think that, he, a doctor, a  jomidar of an influential family  would think any more of her than a simpleton she was.
How could she have been so delusional all along? 

How could she make such a mistake again? Didn't she ever learn from the past lessons?
She was falsely accused before also by many for even more horrible sins. Then why did today, his allegation pained her so much?
She actually made a big mistake, what else did she expect from him?
He had all the rights of being angry with her. But his words still pierced like daggers.

"Shetu!! " A familiar voice broke her train of thoughts.
She looked in front to see Batakrishna coming towards her at a distance. She straightened but then again sat in the same position, resting her head on her knees sideways.

Wow! Her delusions have no end.
Snap out of it Shetu!
He is a dream. He is not real.

Batakrishna's  bright smile on seeing her,  faltered when she refused to acknowledge his presence on seeing him, and had averted her gaze.

" Are you sure, she knows you? She doesn't seem too excited to see you." The coachman said panting, trying to catch Batakrishna's pace who was walking too fast for his liking.

Batakrishna had not expected her to come running into his arms, but still her ignorance hurt like hell. Unable to overcome his desperation, he ran fast to her.

Before Shetukala could fathom the current situation, she was lifted by her arms in a strong embrace catching her off guard, her feet dangled in air, and her face smothered in his chest too tightly for her comfort.

After hours of loneliness and fear grasping her heart, the smell of his musk perfume invaded her nostrils calming her, bringing her back to the homely feeling. If this is a dream, she wants to sleep forever and stay in his arms till eternity.

He stood her on her feet, and smothered her face with quick kisses, on her forehead , eyelids, cheeks ,and nose.
She had not even expected him to come for her, after their last conversation. But this superfluous affection of his seemed too real to be a dream. She snapped out of her daze and realised he was actually there, hugging and kissing her face again and again as if he himself was confirming that she was really there.

The coachman cleared his throat to remind them of his presence.
Her face reddened in embarasment and she tried to move a few steps to break from his grip, but he didn't give her that liberty.

"Dada, thank you. Thank you so much. You don't know what you have done for me. I'll always be in your debt Dada." He said his eyes brimming with tears of happiness.

The coachman looked at them both, " Who is she to you?" He asked suspiciously. His eyes looking for any trace of vermilion at her forehead. But absence of shakha pola  and any other signs of marriage revoked his suspicion.

"Sister, You tell me who is he to you? You don't look married. Where is your shindoor and shakha pola?"

" He....he...is my....my..."
She stammered ,not knowing what to say.
Who was he to her?
What was their relation?
What should she say?

" We are engaged. She is my fiance. " Batakrishna's words were like a bucket of ice on her. Her eyes widened "Shetu, tell him.  Dada! What do I say? I've got such a mischievous girl for a life partner. She demanded for a gold nosering, and when I denied, she got angry and left the house. See!" He made a sad face pouting his lips and  took out her nosering and  showed him. 

Shetukala was too astonished at his white lies to speak anything.

Batakrishna cupped her face and continued. "Shetu! You were planning to go to your maternal house? How can you say that you won't marry me?"

Marry?
She didn't even agreed in first place?
When did he even ask to start with? 

~ Would you have said yes if he asked?

She rolled her eyes at  her inner voice.

" You didn't even think once about me. How would I survive with you? You are my lifeline. Never ever do this again. Okay! You don't know, these few hours of separation have felt like eons to me."
He  kissed her forehead and hugged her again to his chest tightly. The latter words that came out of his mouth held utter honesty in them and seemed too genuine to be lies. Or so she felt. 

Shetukala tried to come out of his grasp but he wasn't leaving her.

"Ahem! Ahem! " The man fake coughed. " Sister, you tell me. Is he telling the truth? If he is forcing you, tell me. I won't let anything happen to you. " Shetukala looked at her feet and then at Batakrishna. His eyes pleaded her to play along. She sighed deeply and then nodded slightly.  "Nowadays, youngsters so openly exhibit their affection. No shame , no consideration of elders also." He shook his head and chuckled.
Shetukala felt like the earth should tear apart and swallow her to save her from this profound embarasment. She again tried to free herself but to no avail. She finally gave up trying.
What is all this? What does he want to do? 

"Dada! Now we'll take a leave." Said Batakrishna.

"Ohh !! Ohkay! Sister, take these. They are yours. I assume now you are not going to  Chandan nagar." Shetukala took back the earrings from him. Batakrishna noticed his face felling. He took out his purse, and took a bunch of notes and forward it to the man.
"Dada! Take this. This will help in your daughter's wedding."

"No sahib! I ...I can't take this. This is too much and  I'm not even doing the job. " His eyes widened at the amount of money he was being offered, and he shook his head in negation.

" Dada! You don't know, what you have done for me. What you've found me back , is worth a king's ransom in front of this money." He smiled. He held the man's hand and put the money in it. " Get your daughter married with all the fanfare."

The old man's eyes brimmed and he joined his hands. " Thankyou sahib ! Thankyou so much. May God keep you both together forever. Sister! Keep this man tied to your aanchal , very few get such love and admiration in their life. Amd don't get angry for such petty things, your man is far precious than these materialistic stuffs. "

Shetukala stood looking at her feet, nodding timidly,  turning redder every second. Whether due to shyness or anger, that was a mystery. He blessed them both and left with his eyes spilling tears of happiness.

As soon as the coachman left out of sight,  Shetukala pushed him away, as he had kept her in his embrace the whole time.

"You .....you..." She dug her index finger in hia chest "..ughhhh!!
What were you saying? Fiance? ME? ME? We are engaged? Mind telling me when did all this happen? "
She put her hands on her waist and demanded.

Batakrishna was amused to see her like this. She had expected her anger , but not this cute. She looked as if she is going to burst out of fury any minute.
" If not happened yet , then surely will in the near future?" He winked mischeviously.

She gasped , her chest heaving with rage. Her index finger was again in air pointing at him "You .....you...!!!!! Oh dugga!  What do I do of you?"

She lifted her potli from the ground and walked away from him.

"Shetu! Shetu! Wait! Where are you going? Our home is not that way."
He ran behind her.

" That is not 'our' home Daktar Babu. It's yours. And who said I'm going to home with you?"
She looked back and said. The hurt in his eyes pained her, but she turned her back sternly again towards him and kept moving fast to get away from him as soon as possible.

Glossary::

Vireh ki peeda:: pain of separation.

Code of conduct:: a set of rules.

Will batuk be able to convince her to go back with him?

Please do tell how was the chapter?
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Thankyou all of you for your immense love via your comments. 😘😘😘😘😘😘

Ps:  Why i am so obsessed with Shetukala's nosering, even I don't know . 🙈