Disclaimer: Completely a work of fiction, no relation to any person or place, living or dead. Anything similar is completely coincidental, and not intentional.

Warning ⚠️: Contains sexual abuse, and triggering violence. Read at your own discretion.

***

Red! There was red all over. Red! In front of my eyes where my dead parents laid. Red! In my eyes, in which a fire of vengeance blazed and anger smoldered against these four monsters ,among which was a person whose red roses used to make my day, but now are nothing but threats wrapped in the scent of roses.

My mother's unmoving , wide open eyes stared at me, completely focussed at the centre of my forehead, burning a guilty hole which would never fill , as her neck was twisted to inhuman degrees.

My father's eyes were closed though, as if dissapointed in me and his eyebrows tensed. He was doused in his own blood . The crimson pouring out of the gash in his stomach was increasing the size of the red and was turning the white kurta crimson.

Loud shrill shrieks reverberated in the air, which sounded like mine, as I flailed and ran and tripped over the blood trailing a red river on the white tiled floor.

"Take her upstairs. The stench of blood nauseates me." A familiar voice spoke. Before I could look at the speaker, someone yanked my hair in a tight grip, so tight , I felt my burning scalp would rip off. Streams of tears flushed my face, as I was being dragged backwards to the upstairs. My back was on fire as it got abraded against the edges of the stairs. I felt as if my hair were being ripped off my head in one powerful tug , but the culprit just eased his hold just enough to not rip them out , thus not ending the torture.

***

A strong flash of white blinded my eyes when I reached a verandah with beautiful plants surrounding it.

My hands and feet were painted in red , and I felt firm fingers , massaging and soothing my scalp with warm oil.

The tug on my hair was so gentle , I could have mistaken it for the brush of breeze had his expert fingers not pressed skillfully at pressure points on my scalp.

His slender fingers entangled themselves in my tresses, sorting the knots of my heart free.

I turned to see his face but he vanished away in a thin mist, and I noticed two long thick braids meticulously quilled hanging on my shoulders.

***

My eyes opened when I was harshly yanked on the floor. All sounds were muffled as only the last shrill cries of my parents echoed in my ears.

I was suddenly pulled out of my daze when a hand mercilessly yanked away my saree from my shoulder. I looked at the said culprit in horrified expression and grey eyes met me.

The same grey eyes which smiled at me everyday when I took the rose in my hands. The same grey eyes which used to get sad when I missed school on some days of the month.

Now they felt different, they were full of anger, and hunger for revenge. Revenge! That wasn't going to be easy on me . My eyes widened and a sharp blow of fear punched my throat.

I dragged my body back, and hugged myself trying to catch the fallen pallu of my saree to cover myself.

"Wha-what are you doing, Sujoy? Don't you even dare!!!! You will pay for this. You're cruel! So cruel, what did my maa and Baba do to you? Why did you kill them?" I yelled , sobbing and crying.

" Let bygones be bygones, darling. Dead won't come back. But the living shouldn't miss the fun. Isn't it?"

His swift steps neared me until I dragged myself till my back hit the wall, in a half seated position.

"Where will you run now? There is no need to play hard to get now, darling. We have got you already." He said as he held my hands in his death grip.

" Suj-sujoy.....Please ... .. don't do this. You... .. you said you liked me . Right? Then why this? What have I done to you?" I pleaded as all the courage and all the bravery drained away when I found myself sandwiched between a rock and hard place.

"What have you done? " He let out a hysterical laugh. "What have you done? You have the audacity to ask what have you done? " He gritted his teeth in sheer anger and twisted my both wrists making me cry in pain. " With these hands , you slapped me and bruised my ego so bad that my father called me a sissy. He threw my mother's bangles on my face, saying that I should wear them for getting beaten up by a timid kitten like you. I never saw this much shame in his eyes for myself. Do you know he said, I should come and hide in your bosom , for the cry baby I am. And guess what, I'm a very obedient son. " He snarled.

" I ..... I am so-sorry. I didn't... .. didn't do it intentionally... .. I... .I was just sca-scared when you tried to force yourself..... I just wanted to leave .... I didn't....didn't want to hit you..." He left my hands and rolled onto the floor in a heap of uncontrolled hysterical cackling.

"Look at you..... Look at your face.....you look so so scared.... Oh....oh..." He kept laughing breathlessly. He looked so maniac that his laughter scared me more than his anger. Taking deep breaths, and controlling his laughter, he stood up again and pulled my leg so that now I was lying straight on my back .

"I can't tell you how happy you make me when you look so timid, so scared. When I saw you for the first time, your scared face got etched in my memory. It made me feel so accomplished to save you, to be your hero. But then you had to behave all sassy and audacious. And the heights of your audacity.....You slapped me....ME? ....ME?....Sujoy Bhattacharya.... Why? WHYYYYYY?????"

He gripped my face and pressed my cheeks with hand , puckering my lips as I whimpered with pain.

"I'm.....I'm....so sorry. I......I...won't do it again. Shotti......please please....don't do this to me..." I sobbed and hiccupped incoherently as his fingertips dug in my cheeks leaving purplish penny bruises , and pleaded but he was in his own daze.

I squirmed and thrashed and threw kicks in the air when he started tugging my saree. Within seconds my saree flew away and crumpled in a dirty white heap on the floor. When his hand reached the neckline of my blouse, I kicked at his junk, my heel landing on his crotch and he howled in pain grabbing his crotch and kneeled down at my feet.

I tried to scramble up but the same foot was now held in a vice grip by a rough hand, and pulled me down , my back hitting the floor again with a loud thud. I looked at the hand and then the arm connected to it and my eyes ascended to the man who was holding my foot.

I froze as my eyes met with another pair of grey eyes. They were so similar to Sujoy but at the same time, so different, scarier and more dangerous.

They reminded me.... of the color of ash... .Ash which was the only remnant when everything got burned in the pyre of the dead. Of the dark, stormy, grey clouds, which tower the whole sky in gloominess and misery. Of the abandoned houses of which paint has chipped down.

And not only his eyes, but his whole face was a spitting image of Sujoy. The only difference being the wrinkles lining his mouth corners and bracketing his eye bags, and also thin grey-white streaks running haphazardly in his hair, giving them a salt and pepper appearance.

"Too feisty , she is. Isn't she?" He said in a gruff voice and twisted my ankle mercilessly until the crackling sound of breaking bones reverberated in the room, and my ear-piercing screams muffled it and soon everything turned black.

***
I found myself sitting on the floor near the window when I felt my feet being lifted in his lap, very tenderly, as if he feared he would break it. His soft lips brushed my malleolus as his teeth wrestled with the hook of my anklet and his lips carved a victorious smile on my skin as the hook clicked open. When he lifted his head to me, his eyes captured me in them sucking my soul like a black hole . His deep , dark black orbs were full of mischievousness and his eyes crinkled at the corner like a crow's feet around his happy eyes. When my gaze travelled beneath his eyes , he turned into a silhouette, his features sharp but not visible. My hand tried to reach his face but I was dragged back again in the darkness from where I had come.

***

I squirmed and pushed aimlessly to move away from their dirty hands, as two pairs of hands tried to undress me, one tearing away my blouse and the other ripping off my petticoat to expose my dignity. When I became too difficult to handle, a third pair came from my head end and grips my hands and howers his face on mine. My eyes would never forget the ugly scar on his left cheek and the yellow rotten teeth which grinned at me devilishly , the pungent stench of alcohol was enough to make a sober person drunk and I could feel bile rising up my throat. He was the same man from whom Sujoy had saved me. Why was he here too, my meddled brain could not conjure up at the moment.

I thrashed my head left and right as I was pinned on the floor with steel grips around me. Suddenly , the hands holding me down reduced in number to my relief only to be replaced by a feeling of panic as my ears rang with clanking metal sounds when belts after belts started falling on the floor.

I looked around as they unveiled their angry shafts before me and I could feel my intestines twisting and turning to puke out all they contained.

Two more hands joined my destruction , one of Sujoy's friend as per I remember, as he walked up to me and ripped away my already tattered clothes leaving me exposed and extremely vulnerable.

"NOOOOOOOO! Please please please don't... ... do this to me. I'll... . I'll do anything... .please... ... I won't repeat it again. ... .please leave me... ... .Sujoy please..." I blabbered and spluttered whatever apologies and bargaining came to my mind, proffering whatever I could except for my respect. But they started laughing as if I had made a joke.

Sujoy's father hovered over me. " Co-operate with us and you would experience the immense pleasures of the heaven. I promise you."

My rebellious side took over me and spat on his face, " You are a pitch black taint on the whole mankind, whole manhood. You are far from being called a man. You are not even a good sample. I pity on you and your hollow self." His eyes were the definition of fury as he grabbed my throat, and tried to throttle the life out of me. He brought his face so close to mine ,aligning his eyes with mine that I could see the dirty-white cataract behind the lens of his grey eyes, blinding him to see the consequences of his deed.

He lifted himself and growled , " I was thinking to make it pleasurable for you, but it's a waste if the porcelain dolls are not broken mercilesly. But I promise this night would haunt you in your next life too." He held my broken ankle in his iron-grip and crushed it , flexing my knee to my abdomen, widening my legs apart, making me reveal a sky piercing scream. I tried to clench my legs , no matter how hard my attempts seemed I was on the losing side . The battle was anyways unfair. The unjust ratio of four is to one. The blind hunger for revenge for a mere slap a girl had exercised to protect herself in the moment of fear, was highly inequitable.

I knew there was no going back but I kept trying to lift myself and throw my body away as much as I could trying to move from their touch.

It wasn't long when I felt hard flesh on my vagina and I let out a heart wrenching scream, as it speared sharply into my insides, like a sharp impalement stake.

My whole life whirlpooled in front of my eyes, those tamarind pods, the mirror work dupatta fluttering above tied to the window, which captured countless images of me being assaulted in its small circular and diamond shaped mirrors. Why did I have to love mirrors? I don't think I would be able to look at my reflection ever again without seeing myself getting ravished by hungry wolves in the reflection.

Plunge!

Retract!

Plunge!

Retract!

The sounds of sloshing, and skin slapping skin, my screams, my whimpers, their ear piercing groans , their sickly moans filled the air.

Finally he reached his climax, and slumped down on top of me, crushing me with his weight.

Numb! Numb and emotionless I was by the time the fourth one completed. I barely felt the pain between my legs where they had just used me for their own sickly satisfaction and hollow magnificence.

It wasn't long when I was lying on my stomach , and a puddle of my stinky vomit laid in front of me, and a pool of bleed seeping under my thighs from my core as I laid limp like a rag doll. My eyes were open and unmoving not blinking once, for I was as good as dead.

I felt my hand being pulled and my body dragged. I was hauled up effortlessly as if I weighed nothing and was pushed. As a last resort , I tried to grasp the black cloth fluttering in the vicinity with my fingers, but it slipped from my hand, as if it were my identity, and cold air met my hot burning skin , and I closed my eyes in peace to embrace the heavenly fall which made me feel so light. There was nothing to worry out, nothing to ponder over. Everything was finished. Finally the torture was over. And I was free.

It was within a few seconds that an intense pain exploded in the side of my head and warm blood drenched my scalp and a loud beep sound rang in my ears.

Bidding final farewell to this horrible life, my eyelids drooped. Last thing I remember , Dev was looking at me with his glistening hazelnut brown eyes. Why was he crying?

***

Back to life , as I sat in a whitewashed room, completely blank now, feeling filthy and used , a green curtain fluttered in a distance and a soothing voice entered my ears calling my name. I ran behind it but the curtain pinned to a wheeled frame kept moving backwards. I ran and ran and ran until we reached the cliff, heavy downpour from the sky started and drenched me in new found enthusiasm and new motivation to follow my destination towards justice. I yanked the curtain away to see his face but he was covered in clay from head to toe , still I could clearly see his twinkling black eyes which hold admiration and love for me and pearly white smile , which dazzled in the clear night sky.

He beckoned me with open arms and took me in his embrace, as my body absorbed the cold clay into its soul. Our earth- laden bodies moulded into one, and I felt as pure as the driven snow and as impeccable as white lilly.

We reached the edge of the cliff and he whispered something in my ear and we took the leap of faith and got submerged into the cool waters of the river reflecting the silvery moonlight, drenching our body, washing away all the insecurities and burdens of my heart and I felt accepted , for who I was, and not for what happened to me.

***

My brain had become a kaleidoscope , one memory's reflection hitting the other and making a new pattern of the similar memory until a completely new memory is formed and the cycle goes on. Faces--- happy, sad, laughing, crying, worrying, jollying, ugly, beautiful, scary, comforting, hating, loving, foes, friends swam in front of my eyes too fast to catch in the Polaroid of the lens of my eyes, as if I was sitting on a spinning merry-go-round wheel.

***

This was the most difficult chapter I've felt to write, more so because I wrote it in first person.

Do tell me how my attempt was.

Don't forget to vote and comment.