The study was silent, except for the muffled sobs of Batakrishna and occasional sniffles of Shetukala. They don't know for how long they were sitting like this. Shetukala was kneeling down on the floor and batuk sat haphazardly , his legs bent beside his thighs. His face was smothered in her chest, drenching her saree in tears , wetness was reaching her skin too. She was just caressing his head and back, time and again , while a few silent drops rolled on her cheeks disappearing into his hair. Her heart felt as if squeezed tight in a fist oozing blood from it. She never saw him like this, so fragmented and defeated. As if he had lost a war.

A devastated Batakrishna had put all his weight on Shetukala , making her lower down on the floor beneath him when she gave up holding more as her knees buckled due to prolonged kneeling down. But nobody took notice of the position they were lying in. A few glass pieces pierced her back as she hit the floor, but that was least of her concern. Her front felt more like being pierced where his tears were falling.

Batakrishna finally becoming breathless , pulled himself back and Shetukala looked at his face. All red and flushed with tears. His eyes were bloodshot and swollen. His hair dishevelled as if a storm had passed through them.

He took deep breaths to catch his breath. She rubbed his tears and then his face with her aanchal.

"What happened to you? Why are you crying?" Her own voice broke, as she asked him.

"I.... Could.... Could not save...." He held a sob and pressed his lips together firmly to stop himself from bursting into tears again.

" You could not save someone?" She asked with a worried expression. He nodded, unable to speak. "Did you try your best?"

"I..... Didn't.... I don't think so...." He said, casting his eyes down as it was taking too much for him to look into her eyes. Her eyes which held nothing but utmost respect and admiration for him. He didn't deserve any of that.

She kept quiet not understanding what should she say before finally breaking the silence. "Why?"

"Be-because I didn't .... Didn't know that....." He fumbled not finding correct words to explain his despair.

" If you didn't know about it, then it wasn't your fault. Don't beat yourself for your obliviousness. It's not like you did something on purpose."

" Will you be able to forgive me?" He asked her , finally looking into at her as his eyes pleaded and lips trembled, his arms still around her, gripping her more firmly as if fearing she would slip like sand from in between his fingers.

"I would forgive you in a heartbeat." She said without any hesitation in her voice.

"Wha--what? Why?" He was baffled to listne to him as if he was longing to listen to this but couldn't believe.

"Because I know you." He looked at her in confusion. " You cannot unsee the plight of a person in front of you, no matter how hard you try. You have this untainted compassion in your eyes, and pious courage in your heart, which doesn't weigh the benefits and loss of your actions but make you dive into the deep waters even when you don't the know the gravity of their depth ."

" Yu-you think so?" He asked as more fresh tears formed in his eyes.

"I believe so." She lifted her head and kissed softly on the corner of his mouth making him close his eyes in contentment. He dipped his head in the crook of her neck, as his wet face touched her warm skin.

" Shotti na!" He said against her skin, as his wet lips caressed her neck.

" Akdom shotti!" She said breathlessly as she now felt herself crushing under his weight and his lips had started nibbling on her supple skin. "Da-daktar Babu!"

"Hmm.." He nuzzled her neck and rubbed his wet cheek on her bare shoulder. She had come just after her Tulsi pooja, just wearing a white cotton saree with red border like everyday, when Anirudh told her to call Batakrishna. He could feel her softness beneath his chest now and wanted to smother his face again in them.

"Wh-what are you doing?" She almost moaned as his soft wet lips traced the helix of her ear pinna, and then took her earlobe in his mouth and twisted it with his tongue.

Batakrishna felt his heartbeat stop as he realised what he was about to do. How he had many a times took her off guard in his arms before ! Made her weak by his ministrations! Did he ever make her feel uncomfortable....??? He earnestly hoped not!

How selfish he could be crying here , taking her support when he himself had not lost anything? He had not suffered a bit but was behaving as if a lightening had struck him and brought catastrophe in his peaceful life. How could he be so self centred as to use up all of the sadness and despair for himself?

And look at her. There she was, like a pillar ready to hold him from his downfall, ready to forgive him without knowing anything.
She had swept the shattered pieces of his broken heart and moulded them with her soft hands and her precious tears making a new heart out of it, which beats for her still the same or rather more intensely.

What are you made of Shetu!

He rolled away from her body in a sudden movement, and stood on his shaky legs. He gave his hand to Shetukala who was looking at him confused, pulling her on her feet.

"A-are you okay?" She asked with concern etched in her eyes as she searched the answer on his face.

"Yea, I'm fine." He looked away.

"Okay." She wanted to press more but nevertheless nodded and turned to leave only to be stopped by his hand on her wrist.

" Shetu! Who drugged you yesterday? "

" Yesterday?"

" Yes, you told me someone gave you orange juice. It was drugged." He said , making her eyes go wide in shock and the colour of her face drained. She remembered the man who tried to misbehave with her.

"Th-there was a man who was .... he tried ..... to... he tou-touched ... he.." Shetu said fumbling with her words as the familiar feeling of discomfort invaded her senses. Her hands started fidgeting and sweatdrops lingered on her forehead. Her eyes became unsettling roaming everywhere but at him.

Now when he saw her obvious discomfort and knew the spine chilling cause behind it, his heart convulsed and writhed in pain. He held her shoulders and pressed his fingertips on her shoulder blade, relaxing her and mad her roll her shoulders. "Shhh..... Shh.... Don't ....don't....."

"Hah! It feels.... feels good." She said leaving a deep breath. " How did you do it?"

" I noticed many a times, how your shoulders stiffen at times." He said straightly but her heart skipped a beat at his meticulous concern. "Shetu! Don't fear. Just tell me about him. I need to know. It's crucial."

"He.... He was tall and he looked very scary. He might be in his forties and he had this ugly scar on his nose. And his one eye was drooping." She shivered at the memory of his face.

Batakrishna nodded and made a mental image of him to dig him out as soon as possible.
"Don't worry. We'll find him." Shetukala nodded. " I'm.... I'm sorry.... this...." He said as he looked at her shoulder smudged with his blood where hea had held her.

" Oh no! I forgot about your injury. Come, I'll bandage it."

***
" What kind of doctor you are , hmm? Half of the time I have to treat you?" She scolded him playfully, while bandaging his hand and wasn't stopping herself from talking even at the lack of his response.

Batakrishna tried too hard to not spill anymore tears as he admired how much she was trying to cheer him up. Even after tying the bandage, she had held his palm on her relatively smaller hands and continued with her endless stories , of what she and Subha did. What Bondita had taught her in her free time. How she had planted new saplings in the porch and kept their cute names.

***

Batakrishna had not returned home the whole day. It was past midnight when she heard the sound of his motorcycle. She had not eaten food too. Worrying about him, made her hunger vanish. She decided to have dinner or rather latenight dinner with him only.

He entered the house, and was taken by surprise as he glanced at her smiling face but smoothened his expressions quickly and walked away in hurried steps to his room. Shetukala kept looking at his stern face as he walked away, trying to gauge his current mood. But his face didn't give away, but yes surely not in his best mood. She brought a single plate of food for both of them and knocked his door.

"Daktar babu. I've brought food. Open the door." She knocked again.

"Keep it at the door. I'll have it later on." Came his monotonous voice, making her frown.

" Uh..... It will get cold again."

"Let it be."

"I... I also didn't...."

"Please shetu! Not now. I'm tired." His tone signalled the finality of this conversation. She swallowed a painful lump in her throat and nodded to no one in particular and kept the food on the doorstep and retreated to her room sniffling as the sudden rejection of him and the overbearing wait of the whole day overwhelmed her.

Batakrishna after almost an hour opened the door to see the plate of food . He had forgotten about the meal. His own comfort was the farthest thing from his thoughts , right now. He saw there was food enough for two and realised how he dismissed her rudely before and instantly regretted.

He walked to her room and found the door unlocked. He went in and saw her sleeping curled like a foetus. She always slept like this whenever she was anxious about something. Her eyelashes were wet too. A sharp pang tug at his heart. What made her so sensitive right now? Was it yesterday's incident or....? He gulped a thick lump in his throat as his eyes pricked with tears and his nose stung. He sat beside her with one leg folded beneath his thigh and the other at floor , and caressed her hair.

"Shetu! " He whispered to check if she was awake. " I am sorry. Are you hungry? Do you want to have food, hmm?"

She stirred in her sleep, and turned towards him, and hugged his thigh. "Krishna...." She murmured.

A drop of tear finally rolled out from his right eye breaking the dam of his resistence, as he heard the name again. He covered her with the duvet and closed his eyes and supported his head on the headrest, patting her head softly in a rhythm.

***
Shetukala woke up when sunlight rays disturbed her slumber and looked around her ,being covered in a duvet.
"Was he here?" She shook her head. " Why would he be? He might be very tired yesterday. Dugga maa! Please keep him happy and safe." She touched her joined hands to her forehead and prayed.

Batakrishna remained out of his house maximum time , making her more and more restless. He was not even present at the the meals. Even Anirudhh and Bondita looked irked at his behaviour. She tried to talk to Subhalaxmi but she didn't give any satisfactory answers about his changed behaviour.

The only time he would come home was to sleep at late night and left before she woke up. He had forbidden her to stay awake for him quite defiantly saying it's not good for her health as this was his usual lifestyle, much to her disappointment. Still, she would keep the reheated food at the dining table and sneaked into her room as soon as he would come out of bathroom.

She was assuming maybe he was not looking forward to her company. This thought was eating her from within. What would have happened? Is he still in guilt for that day? Whom should she ask? She didn't want to ask Bondita and Anirudhh as she was hesitant what would they think of her meddling in his affairs, especially when she had created a scene at the party.

Shetukala was about to go to the study to call Anirudh and Subhalaxmi for dinner when she saw Anirudhh shouting at Subha behind closed glass door. She turned to leave as she considered it wasn't proper of her to eavesdrop them. But her feet stopped when she heard Batuk's name. Sounds were muffled but she could make out some words.

"..... He already has the clue...."

" Do you have any idea, for this offense your license could be cancelled?"

".....only if he reveals I re-affirmed his suspicion......"

"The thing is not just that Subha. You know Batuk would never snitch on you , but what about ethics ? What about the trust Shetukala placed on us? Does she even want him to know about this? This should have been her decision to tell. Not ours. Why don't you....."

Shetukala's heartbeat almost stopped and her blood froze as she heard Anirudhh taking her name. The truth fell on her head like a cold bucket of ice. Her knees wobbled and she stumbled on her feet, falling on the floor , her hands supporting her fall weakly.

Is that why he.... he didn't want to talk to her? To see her?

He was crying so bitterly that day, because he .... he realised what was the meaning of all this? Of being with a girl like her?

Why would he want her after knowing the truth?

Why would anyone in his right mind would want her?

Had she ever loathed herself before, this didn't even touch that feeling.

He was supposed to know one day. They were just living in a fantasy land , which has disappeared now. And what remains is the bitter reality. Which just leaves a bad taste in the mouth. And nothing else.

The higher you fly , the more painful is the fall. And she had fallen from the seventh heaven this time, smashing her heart on falling.

She knew from the beginning , he didn't deserve her. Then how? How could she even think of hoping a better future for herself? That too with him?

Preposterous!

She might have not been in her right senses so as she even believed in this absurd thought.

Her thought process was disturbed when she heard the study door opening. She scrambled up hurriedly .

"Shetukala? What happened?" Asked Anirudhh.

"Hmm?" She mumbled with her back towards Anirudhh.

"You can go now inside. Subha is there." She nodded her head. " Shetukala? Are you fine?"

Shetukala nodded her head and ran away from there leaving a confused Anirudh .

She ran out of the house as fast as she could to the river beside the big mansion. Her legs were burning with spasm but she didn't stop before she reached in front of the river. She doubled on her body as the cool breeze eased the suffocated feeling in her chest momentarily.

She gazed at the vastly stretched river in front of her eyes. The river water was extremely calm , not even a ripple on the surface. On contrary, there was a typhoon in her heart, swaying her boat, she had handled with all her might since months, flooding her eyes with new waves of salty tears.

The countless taunts and names she had heard, and buried in the back of her mind, came back swooshing pricking her ears and making them bleed.

The blur memories of that dark night danced in front of her eyes, like the sight of a warfield, filled with splashes of blood and pitiful screams and horrendous howlings of her own.
The only difference being she was alone in the war, being plucked and snatched by several pairs of hands tossing her like a ball for their fun.

But the most painful and heart-wrecking feeling was of her skin crawling which returned back with much higher intensity than before as the memory of his touch made her feel as if he was also tarnished by touching her. The thought broke her heart. Would he have also felt the same? Was he feeling dirtied by her? Was he ashamed of her? How quickly he detached himself from her as soon as he came to his sense that day? Does she make his skin crawl too?

Questions after questions haunted her, making her world spin and breathing fasten and she almost fell on the muddy ground when a strong pair of arms held her saving her from falling.

Too familiar .... Too protective.... Too good to be true....

His arms... his scent.... his voice..... Which faded in the back of her mind as she blacked out finally. The last thing she heard was of him calling her name.

I am very sorry for slow updates. Please bear for some time.

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