He couldn't see her but her screams were echoing all around.

Please don't do this to me......

Please.... Please.....

I won't do it again.....

Please leave me.....

The screams kept on getting louder and louder and more painful, as her sobs mixed with them.

He started shouting her name with as much strength as his vocal cords could muster .

"SHETU! WHERE ARE YOU! ANSWER ME!

SHETU!!! I'm coming.....

Don't worry.....

I'm coming....."

He tried to run to follow the screams coming from a room, but he couldn't move. His legs felt as if paralysed.

"Daktar babu!!!! Please save me....

Please.... Please.... Please.... Don't do this to me....

KRISHNAAAAAA!!!!!!"

Her voice pierced the silence of the corridor. He lifted his body from the floor with a renewed vigour and ran upstairs, jumping two steps at once.

When he finally reached the door the screams were coming from, the voices had become silent.

There she was lying in a pool of blood, her clothes tattered, and face too swollen and bruised to be recognised.

He knelt down on the floor.

"Shetu! I...... I...."
He neared her and took her head in his lap. Her eyes were closed and her lips parted.

"Wake up.... Wake up...." He whispered.

"Shetu! Listen to me. Don't do this to me. I'm so sorry . It.... It's my fault again... I couldn't save...."

He blabbered to himself rubbing her palm but she showed no sign of life. As he realised her lack of response, he came to his senses.

He put her ear to her chest and his face turned ashen when he couldn't make up the heartbeat.

"Shey---tu". He whispered ghostly as he saw a gush of blood still flowing from her body drenching her legs making a scarlet pool around her body.

"SHETUUUUUU!" He screamed hugging her head to his chest.

Batakrishna woke up in a loud shock from the dream and looked around breathing heavily , drenched in sweat. He was in his room. The sun had already filled the room in faint golden with sunlight sieving from the partially parted curtains. He peeked at the clock . It was 1pm.

He heaved a sigh of relief and patted his hand on the bed where she slept at night. His hand fell on a cold, empty sheet.

He opened his eyes and saw around. She wasn't there. He stood up with a jerk and pushed open the bathroom door. Empty. He ran to her room and barged inside. The bed was made, as if nobody slept there. He checked the bathroom. Empty. He kept on shouting her name, his body trembling in worry and his heart pounding fiercely in fear of loosing her.

He ran to the hall and called out her name as loud as he could.

Shetukala came out of the kitchen in hurry when she heard his loud voice. "What happened?"

He turned his head in a sharp whiplash and saw her standing there , she had a sharp knife in her hand.

His eyes widened and he sprinted towards her. Throwing the knife aside, he engulfed her in his warm embrace as tight as he could.

She pulled herself back , "Daktar babu! What are you---" and was taken aback when he cupped her face and showered her face with quick kisses all over.

He pulled himself back. His expressions had a quick transition from worry to relief to rage.

"WHERE WERE YOU???? WHERE WERE YOU???" He gripped her shoulders in tight grip and shook her. " With whose permission you left the room? Who told you to leave my side? Huh? Do you know how dangerous it is outside? Why don't you learn your lesson? WHY???" He screamed as loud as he could.

" I.....I.... didn't .... I .....you.....you were....." Her body trembled and speech spluttered as he kept her in place by her tight grip.

"ANSWER ME DAMMIT. WHO TOLD YOU TO LEAVE ME? " His eyes spewed fury.

" Batuk! Batuk! Leave her. What are you doing? " Anirudh tried to pry off Batakrishna from Shetukala. He pushed him off from her and Shetukala collapsed on the floor shivering.

Bondita and Subhalaxmi who had come to the scene listening to all the voices, held her.

Shetukala jumped into Bondita's embrace and dug her head in her bosom seeking comfort. "Didi, I.... What did I..... do.... I am .. sorry...... I...."

"Shetukala! No! Shhh!!! Shh.... Stop ... Stop crying. You didn't do anything. " Bondita clutched her tighter to herself rubbing her back.

" What is your problem , Batuk ? What is all this? " Anirudh shouted at Batakrishna who was heaving shallow breaths in frustration. He looked at Shetukala who was coccooned in protective embrace of Bondita and closed his eyes in remorse as he realised his mistake.

He moved towards her to console her but Anirudh held his shoulder in a strong grip and shook his head in negation. " First , you owe me an explanation. Come to the study." He said and dragged him towards the study.

He closed the doors and threw a set of papers on his face and yelled. " Look at them. Look what blunder you have made. All my hard toil, all Subha's tricks and counseling had crumpled to ashes. Read it."

Batakrishna frowned amd crouched down to look at the papers. He picked them up and a tear rolled down his eyes as he saw Shetukala's today's statement of testimony synced with yesterday's incident. She described how she was on the bed and not on the floor like he had read her previous statements, how the room was dark with candles around unlike her brightened room in which the incident took place. The worst thing was when he saw written that there was only one man inspite of four as she had claimed before.

Tears started smudging the letters of the sheet as he realised how his impulsive behaviour had ruined all her chances of getting justice.

"Dada, I didn't... Didn't get...."

"What would you say about the bite mark on your neck , Batuk?" Said Anirudh as his eyes zeroed upon his neck which was marked by a roughly circular reddish blue mark.

Batakrishna's eyes widened in horror as he looked at him incredulously. " Dada! Do you... do you think.... I... with her.." Trails of fresh tears dripped on his cheeks.

" No no no Batuk!" Anirudhh held his shoulder in a tender embrace. "I would never think that. I can't even imagine something of this sort. But whatever happened between you two has meddled very wrongly with Shetukala's mind." He gave a disappointed sigh.

He continued, " I had a hunch in the morning only, when she sabotaged her testimony statement herself, that it has something to do with you." Batakrishna looked at him quizzically.

" Your late night escapades and secretive glances haven't escaped my eyes , Batuk. They were uptil now a positive influence on her mental health, so I didn't meddle in her affairs. It's not my place what she does outside my interrogation. But now, the situation is very dire. The case hearing is approaching. We were totally relying upon her statement. The doctor's can testify that she was assaulted, but it is her who would be identifying them in the court. And right now , she isn't complying. I'm afraid she would be surviving re-cross examination this time."

Batakrishna bit her lip and his eyes took refuge at his feet as he couldn't look into his Dada's eyes. He knew how much Anirudh, Subhalaxmi and Shetukala had worked hard for the case and now everything is going down the drain.

"What will we do now , Dada?"

"Not we, Batuk. Only me. You will stay out of this matter."

" But , Dada---" Anirudh showed his palm to him to shut him.

" Shetukala will be leaving the bungalow today only. She will be staying at our cottage near the court. I've talked to a caretaker. She will take care of her needs. I and Subhalaxmi can discuss the case with her there only."

" No Dada, please. Don't send her. It's not her mistake."

" But she would have to pay for it Batuk if we don't take any action."

" Dada, please. I won't talk to her. I won't meet her. I won't even look at her. Please , Dada. Don't send her away."

" Batuk---"

" Batuk is correct , Barrister babu." Said Bondita as she and the other two women entered the study. "Don't send Shetukala away when this is the time she needs us the most."

" Bondita is correct. Letting her cope up alone at the eleventh hour will do more damages than already. I agree Shetukala is influenced with yesterday's panic attack. But we can still try. We can make her learn the testimony."

" No, Subha. It's wrong. This is not the way the cases are fought. If I had to put the words in my clients' mouth, they won't need Barristers in court to defend them. This is not a tutoring class where I make her memorise the said answers and she goes and pukes them in the court. The defense lawyer doesn't have a set question paper. He can ask anything. Her past , her present. Our scripted lines might clash with the truth. And in no scenario, I would let that happen."

" What would we do then? "

" Shetukala, what do you want?" Anirudhh asked her as Shetukala stood in the corner fidgeting her fingers and crying silently.

"Dada, if you want me to go, I won't complain. Shotti! But , please don't scold Daktar Babu. He didn't do anything intentionally. It was all my fault. " She sniffled and spoke softly.
Anirudhh bit back the smile creeping on his lips.

He nodded. " Okay then, I won't send you anywhere, Shetukala. But we will have to keep some ground rules so that such things don't happen in future, at least not till the hearing. Shetukala will share the room upstairs with Subha. That way Subha would be able to gauge her reactions and anomalous behaviour more closely. And Batuk, I don't want you to meddle in the case anymore. We had enough help from you. Am I clear?" He said sternly and all of them nodded in unison as they knew arguing with him at this decision was futile .

***
" Please Subha! It's really important or I wouldn't have bothered you. Please, please. "

"Batuk, do you want me also to be debarred from this case? I said no, means no."

" This could actually help her."

" Am I a psychologist or you? "

" Yes, you are the psychologist. Nobody's denying it. But ---"

" Go away, Batuk. " Said Subhalaxmi as she closed the door on his face.

***
Batakrishna tried many a times to signal Shetukala to listen to him, but she quickly averted her gaze as if she didn't see him. She was too afraid of Anirudh's wrath on her Daktar Babu.

She wasn't willing to live in solitary when she needed him the most. Even if she couldn't talk to him right now, his presence was enough to mellow her anxiety.

She didn't know what she would do if she was sent to live alone where Anirudhh wanted her to. After long, she had found a family, she didn't want to leave it. Not when he was a part of this family.

***
It was almost midnight when Shetukala heard a faint knock on the window. She peeked from her comforter towards the window and saw a silhouette. She got afraid and tried to wake up Subhalaxmi.

" Didi! Subha Didi! Someone is at the window. Wake up. Didi!"

Her calls fell on almost deaf ears as Subha groaned a little in sleep " What ? Who? " She looked at the window but no one was there, " Nobody's there , Shetukala. Go sleep. " Then she returned back to her deep slumber not giving a heed to her anymore.

Nodding, Shetukala covered herself again with the comforter till her forehead and tried to sleep again. She heard the knock again. Now when she looked at the window again, she saw a hand waving.

Would the thief wave his hand at me?

The silhouette knocked again.

"Didi! Please wake up." She shook Subhalaxmi.

"Mmmmm..... What Shetu? ....I can't cuddle with you like Batuk now.... I'm too tired....Let me sleep. You also sleep."

" But Didi, the thief is outside, waving at me."

" Then you wave back. " She said and turned her back towards Shetukala.

Shetukala saw the window getting rattled as if the person outside was trying to open it. She went near the window hesitantly and removed the curtain slowly. Her eyes widened as she saw Batakrishna hanging on the pipeline with his hands holding the window sills tightly, turning his knuckles white. She quickly looked at Subhalaxmi who was still sleeping
and opened the window hurriedly.

"Daktar babu!"

"What took you so long? Pull me up. My hands are burning." Batakrishna whisper-shouted as wiggled to pull his body up.

"What are you doing here? Go back."

"Why?"

"You shouldn't be here. Dada will scold you again."

" He is sleeping peacefully. I just came from his room. Now pull me up. "

" But Subha didi? she would wake up."

" Oh! Don't worry about her. She sleeps like a dead. "

Even shetukala couldn't contradict this. She forwarded her arms and held his wrists. " I'm pulling you. Leave the window."

"Ya right. So that we both topple down together on the ground and break our bones, before Dada actually breaks them. Hold my torso under my arms and then try to pull me." Shetukala nodded and complied pulling him.

Soon , Batakrishna was half outside and half inside when he pushed his body forward and they both fell on the floor, him on her.

His eyes met with hers and a sense of contentment swirled like a black satin in his black orbs as he gazed her face closely as if trying to memorise it for the moments when he wouldn't be with her. He caressed her cheek with his knuckles and whispered, " Shetu! I missed you."

"We just met in the morning."

" Still. "

Shetukala was too astounded by the situation and couldn't speak anything. She nodded at him, making him chuckle.

He lifted himself from her body and sat on the floor. He looked at Subhalaxmi who was lost in her dreamland.

"Let's go."

"Where?"

"My room."

"But Dada will scold us if Subha didi didn't find me here in the morning."

"Who said I'm calling you to spend the whole night with me?" He teased.

Scarlet splashed her cheeks as she realised her mistake and bit her lower lip ,clenching her eyes in embarasment.

Batakrishna grinned and pulled her lower lip from her teeth's grip. " Hey! Don't! They are mine. Mine to bite and mine to suck."

He gave a cheeky smile as she hid her face behind her palms. "Ishhhhhh."

When she felt his hands on her feet, she gasped. " What are you doing?"

"They make too much noise. We can't afford to disturb anyone."

He pulled her feet on his lap as he tried to open her payal. The hook was tight for his thick fingers. Instinctively, he bent and tried to open the hook with his teeth. His lips touched her skin, making her fist her saree and curl her toes.
He repeated the same action with the other payal and put them inside his pockets.

"Shetu! Move! Hurry up." He said as she didn't move for a few good seconds after he stood up.

"Yes , yes. Sorry."

They stealthily moved downstairs. He hid her body behind hers as he kept looking here and there so as to alert themselves of someone's presence as if two soldiers on a secret mission.

She held his elbow as she peeked time to time in front. Her heart was beating fast in fear, as she prepared mock answers in her mind if Bondita or worst if Anirudh spots them.

My stomach was paining a lot because today I had eaten a lot of food. It was so tasty. So I had to take medicine from Daktar Babu.

We didn't do anything uptil now. No no, we didnt do anything at all. We are innocent.

"Shetu!"

"We are innocent Because I ate a lot of food and that's why I am pining for Daktar babu."

" Hey! Speak softly." He out his palm on her mouth "You will wake up Dada. What are you even saying I don't understand?"

Suddenly, they heard the jingling of anklets as Bondita came out with a jug of water in her hand. Hurriedly they slipped into the kitchen but regretted instantly as she would be coming here only.

They both hid behind a large 'kothi' (utensil) of floor as Bondita filled her jug with water.

The smell of spice wafted from the nearby spice box irritating his nostril and he made a face of impending sneeze, his eyes closed , nose scrunched and mouth open. Shetukala's eyes widened and she leaped towards him and pinched his nose tightly suppressing his sneeze. But , his elbow hit a glass and it fell down.

Bondita's ears got alerted and she moved towards them, slowly. "Who's there?"

Shetukala accepting her defeat was about to answer and plead in front of her not to tell Anirudh, when Batakrishna clamped her lips again for the second time.

God! This girl will get us both killed.

"Bondita, you went to the kitchen or the well of Tulsipur to fetch water." Anirudhh shouted.

" Coming Barrister babu." She yelled back.
"Must be some rat. Will have to tell Mani Kaki to clean the kitchen for pests. " She murmured
and went back to her room.

Shetukala and Batakrishna sighed in relief. They discreetly walked back to his room with minimal sound.

He locked his door from inside and took a deep breath of relief.
"You scaredy cat! You were about to blow out our plan." He said keeping his hands on his hips as he frowned at her.

" I am not scaredy cat. You were about to expose us by sneezing. I'm sure Boudi won't be convinced then that it was a rat's sneeze." She kept her hands on her waist and gave an equally strong glare.

Batakrishna fought back a smile and lost it, as their tensed faces finally snowballed into laughing ones. He looked at her admiringly as she still kept laughing holding her stomach, her shoulders shaking with the impact of her laughter.

He closed the distance between them as he embraced her.

She looked at the bite mark, and stroked it. " Eiishh! I bit you so hard." She pouted.

Batakrishna grinned and replied, " You did, indeed. I wouldn't be surprised if you would have started sucking blood like a vampire soon after you bit me." He smirked.

" Daktar Babu!" She chided him, making him laugh.

He looked at her and caressed her jawline with his cool fingers. " I am sorry for my behaviour in the morning, Shetu. Really sorry. I got so scared when I didn't see you in bed, that I lost it. Why didn't you wake me up too?"

"You looked so tired and was sleeping so peacefully. I didn't have in me to wake you up. So I let you sleep. Rather I should apologise . Because of me , Dada scolded you. I ruined everything. I got so confused when Subha Didi and I sat for revising the statement. I told everything wrong. Everything mixed up in my mind." She shook her head exasperatedly.

"What did Dada say then?"

"He didn't say anything . He just looked at Subha didi and she shook her head at him. Then Dada looked angry and told me to go. That time I relaised , I messed up a big time. " She pouted. " I'm so stupid. Why can't I remember anything clearly?" She massaged her temples.

" Hey, don't blame yourself. I've thought something about it. Come."

He led her to the bed as she sat and he went to his cupboard and took out a box. He pulled out a royal blue coloured leather diary and kept it on the bed, followed by few colours and paint brushes and crayons. He then pulled out a sketch book.

"What is all this? We'll do painting?"

He chuckled." No, Shetu. You will do."

"I don't know much about painting. Rather I'm very bad at it."

" It's okay. Nobody is going to judge you. This is not for a painting competition."

" What is it for? "

"See, I don't know if it will work for you or not. But whenever I forget some drug name or some formula , I write the initial letters of it on a page and maximum time, the subsequent letters start appearing in my mind. It doesn't work always but sometimes it does. It's like a hit and trial method. So , what I'm presuming is , it can work for you too if luck is in our favour."

" How?"

" See, as you said you feel trapped in your past, right." She nodded. " Whenever we feel trapped in our mind with overwhelming emotions and memories , we should write it down. It is like pulling our thoughts from our minds like tangled threads out of a wool ball and placing them on the paper. The things become more clear and more sorted that way. I think you should try it."

" What if it didn't work?"

He clicked his tongue. "Don't fear failure. Fear being in the exact same place tomorrow as you are today." She nodded.

" And these colors? "

" If you are unable to write about something, unable to describe it , just draw it."

"Okay." She paused for sometime.

" What do you want to ask?"

" How did you know?" She frowned.

"Because you start moving your head while thinking of asking something?" He gave a cheeky grin.

She pressed her lips and gave him a soft smack on his arm. " You are reading too much nowadays."

" Nope, you are too transparent to hide."

She scowled at him.

" Ok ok. Ask me."

" Do you... do you also write about your emotions in a diary?"

Batakrishna lost his tongue for a moment and nodded lightly.

" About?"

" Anything, whatever comes in my mind and I want to share with someone."

" Oh! Like? "

" Why should I tell you? It's personal. "

She pouted making him laugh.

" Okay , okay. Don't make that face. But I won't show all of it. Just a few snippets."

She nodded eagerly as her eyes shone with excitement.

Batakrishna pulled out the drawer of his nightstand and took out a brown diary on which 'Om' was written in a thick golden ink.

Then he took out another similar but shabby looking diary.
" This is maa's diary."

"Your mother's diary?"

"Yes, I guess I got this writing habit from her only. I don't remember much about her, as she left me when I was very small. One day, I found that diary in our attic when we were playing. When I saw her name on it I hid it in my shirt and read it discreetly."

"Dada knows about it?"
He shook his head.

"No. There were days when Dada and other family members used to tell us about Maa and whatever she talked about. I used to feel very jealous that I don't have anything to tell. So, call me selfish but when I found this diary, it felt like I've..... I've got Maa back. And I wanted to keep her all to myself. Didn't want to share my share of love with anyone. " His voice choked in the last.

" She might have occasionally wrote in it. The gap between dates is very far. Sometimes years difference. I think she didn't need this diary much as she had many people to talk to in our house. You know, my favourite part is when she talked to me in this diary."

" You? " She asked puzzled.

" Yes. I guess when she was pregnant , she used to write in this diary as if she is talking to me. She used to call me Khoka in it." He smiled with teary eyes. "She told me how she and Kaka , her Lochan Da were at loggerheads about naming me. He wanted to keep my name 'Batuknath' as our Issht dev is Lord Shiva, but Maa, being an ardent devotee of Shri krishn wanted to keep it Krishna. "

He looked at her and the emotions in their eyes mirrored.

He chuckled breaking the eye contact. " I guess no one was willing to accept the defeat , so here I am, Batakrishna Roy Chowdhury. "

" Okay, let me tell you this one. " He wiped his eyes before more tears could fall and took his diary and started reading it.

Maa,

Today I can't tell you, how happy I am.

I got a very serious case of head injury of a woman. She was bleeding heavily. We had almost lost hope in her and told the family that the woman wouldn't survive.

Then suddenly, a boy came to me crying and held my index finger in his small palm. He couldn't be more than 3 or 4 year old. His face was red with crying continuosly.

I crouched to match his height and wiped his tears . He said sobbing, " Dada, please save my Maa. I can't live without her. Who will play with me if not her? Who will feed me if something happens to her? Please dada, save her."

I felt as if I am seeing myself in him. I had decided years back that I would become a doctor when I was old enough to understand that you could have survived if we had proper facilities and doctors available at Tulsipur. We wouldn't have to lose you. But unfortunately, we did.

I had decided in that moment only that I would try my best so that no other child has to live without his/her mother unlike me.

I went back in the operation theatre and prayed to God to give my hands strength and healing power to heal this mother whose child was waiting outside. I guess you were listening to me and conveyed my message to your Shri Krishn and we could save that woman.

If you would have been here, you would have patted my back, right maa? You would have said ' shabash Batuk, I'm so proud of you' right maa? Just like you used to pat Dada when he would come first in school. I know you would have.

With lots of love,
Your Khoka

When he completed reading , their eyes were dripping incessant as they both cried for their mothers ,each for a different reason. But pain was no less of any.

She jumped into his embrace and hugged him tightly as they both cried silently.

After sometime, they pulled back and sat in silence , so peaceful and so serene that words would have felt superfluous, breeching the placidity of the moment. As the clock rung with a loud noise , she realised that she should go now.

She hurriedly stood up gathering the stuff he gave her and turned only to be stopped by him as he held her wrist.

Abhi na jao chhod kar ke dil abhi bhara nahi ,

Agar mai ruk gyi abhi, toh Jaa na paaungi kabhi

Bura na maano baat ka, ye pyar hai gila nahi.

Haan yhi kahoge tum sada, ki dil abhi bhara nahi.

He pulled her towards himself , as his eyes fixed on her lips.

Sensing his intentions , she put a weak hand on her chest, " Daktar Babu, we....we... should not.... Dada would scold us."

"Just this once? He wouldn't know." He breathed hotly against her lips.

"Just this once?" She whispered hoarsely.

"Hmm, just this once."

"Ohkay, just this one----"

Her words were swallowed in his throat as he claimed her lips fiercely , his fingers caressed gently her warming cheeks as his tongue found company of hers twisting and twirling in a ferocious Tango, volatile , displaying emotions liberally, sometimes getting angry , sometimes making flips and then mellowing down at a soothing pace, calming the burning desire of their hearts.

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