When Zayn makes it back home from work, his eyes drift over to the apartment door right next to his. Only two feet away. So damn easy to walk over and knock. But he hasn't been.

He figures Harry still needs time to cool off. But if Harry really wanted to speak to Zayn again he would've done it already, cooled off or not, right?

It's been a week since he's seen Harry. He hasn't even seen Harry come out or go in, but theres no doubt that he's in there while Zayn is here too.

Its Friday, just before the weekend, meaning today should be the day Zayn tries speaking to him again. The man rolls up his sleeves, clipping them at his elbows before rubbing his hands together out of his nerves as he makes his way over to the mahogany door.

The man lifts his fist, knocking gently. He puts both hands to his sides, knawing on his bottom lip out of deeply rooted nerves. He doesn't want Harry to reject him again...he just wants to talk and he wants to...touch...and just see the man's face, especially his eyes. Harry has been on his mind since everytime he goes to sleep, throughout the day and when he wakes up for the past five days. Its torturous to know the next day, each day he's unable to see him. But today, he needs to. He's almost been craving to.

Then the door opens, and instantly Zayn makes eye contact with Harry. He hasn't seen him for a week and already he can see the changes of his face. The stubble that has grown on his chin and underneath his nose, his hair messier than his usual style. And he still glows of beauty in Zayn's eyes, and Zayn doesn't think that fact will ever stray from his mind.

His emerald eyes look down at Zayn calmly, he doesn't seem surprised but serene and relieved even as a small, apprehensive smile grows on his lips. "Hey, Zayn." Harry says quietly, hand dropping to his side, no longer holding the doorknob.

"Hey." Zayn says.

Harry swallows, flickering his gaze to the floor sheepishly, biting his bottom lip. "I missed you." He says quietly, not looking up, seeming too bashful. Zayn smiles, chuckling lightly, making Harry finally look up into his honey eyes again.

"I missed you too." Zayn responds giddily like a little boy in love. Could he really be in love? Zayn wouldn't be shocked.

Honey mixes with emerald until they are impossibly closer to each other and deep in each other's arms, hugging like no one else exists. Zayn has his face pressed into the crook of Harry's neck, Harry's chin resting on Zayn's head. The hug is the best they can do, Zayn wishes they could do more, but that's on Harry's terms and he can wait for a just while longer. It's not like he's leaving anytime soon.

"Do you want to...do something?" Zayn asks when they pull away, digging his hands into his pockets, now feeling flustered himself as Harry looks back at him. "Unless you're busy, of course." Zayn shrugs. "Then we don't have to." He mumbles, cheeks heating up. Harry grins, nodding.

"Yeah, can we?" Harry says.

Zayn nods eagerly, smiling brightly as Harry walks out, closing the door behind him. The two begin walking down the hallway to go down to the lobby in the elevator, planning to just walk the streets until they find some place.

"Wheres your mum by the way? I notice her car has been gone from the lot for a while." Zayn says.

"Oh, shes gone back to England." Harry states simply.

Zayn refrains from asking why, not wanting to make him uncomfortable so he lives in agitating curiously for a few minutes.

"She's helping with the police investigation about my father's gang. Finding more people apart of it so they can get arrested." Harry says quietly.

They go down the elevator, escaping to the outside and instantly feeling the strong, cold winds that have picked up lately due to the cold front that's coming. Cold weather is exciting considering it's going to snow, but also irritating due to the fact it always feels like Zayn's digits may fall off.

"Sounds intense." He sighs, shaking his head, still not believing that was apart of Harry's life prior. "Didn't want to go with her?" Zayn asks. "Not participate in the investigation but just...support?"

Harry shakes his head. "No. I don't really want to go back to England at all. I was happy to move here for a new atmosphere...a new life." He mumbles the last words.

"So, you've been alone in the apartment?" Zayn asks.

"Gemma has been with me." Harry says.

Zayn nods. "How've you been?" He asks gently, looking up at the man.

Harry shrugs. "Fine." He says quietly. "You?"

"Same as you." He says, sighing shakily. "I still...don't know what happened that day with Louis and you." Zayn says, rubbing the nape of his neck as he carefully chooses his words. He sticks his hands in his pockets as Harry looks back at him instead of the pavement. "Can you...tell me?" He asks, quriking up an eyebrow.

Harry licks his lips. "Sorry for pushing him." He says quietly, putting his hands behind his back, entwining them together.

"I'm sure he's over it." Zayn snorts. "But...are you?" Zayn asks, frowning.

Harry sends Zayn a half smile. "Um, he said I wasn't enough for you." He says and Zayn furrows his brows, wondering why the hell Louis would ever say something like that to Harry. Why would he even think of it? "And I believed it...but I haven't heard anything from you. Do...do you think that? A-And how can I fix it?" Harry questions bashfully.

"Harry, you're everything I'd ever want in a person." Zayn says, shaking his head. He can't exactly defend Louis, not knowing why he would say such a thing. He obviously has to talk to him about it later.

"Why?" Harry asks. 

"Well, for one, you're adorable." Zayn says and Harry tries to hide the small grin that appears on his lips as he turns his head in the other direction. Zayn chuckles lightly. "And you understand me...you make me laugh...you make me smile without even meaning to because you're just naturally a sweet person...you're the epitome of pure." Zayn says. "And that's all I need."

"But I'm not pure." Harry shakes his head. "Far from it." He mumbles.

"Why do you say that?" Zayn says, knowingly, but he just wants to hear it from Harry.

"Well,...I've told you what happened to me. And there are even some things that..." the man trails off, Zayn frowning when he closes his mouth, too scared to continue. The Muslim man rests a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it encouragingly.

"What is it?" He asks gently.

Harry glances towards him, swallowing thickly. "There are some things I haven't told you." He says quietly.

Zayn frowns, sighing shakily. It's not like he's going to force Harry to say anything, but he wish he knew.

That means he just has to get Harry more comfortable around him. And after these few months he's known the man, he knows it may just take years. He wonders what could happen in just a few more months until the end of the year.

"Want to sit in the park?" Zayn questions the man and Harry nods subtly, looking down at the ground.

*

Harry and Zayn sit on the grass, criss cross legs in front of each other. Harry picks at the earth, pulling out the weeds and letting them flutter through the air.

They've been sitting silently, not having much to say but undoubtfully wanting to be around each other. Zayn has never been much of a talker, and neither has Harry, so it's not surprising that conversation doesn't happen often. Not that either of them mind.

"When...when I was younger I used to play this game with a friend I had." Harry says, looking up at Zayn. Zayn smiles, listening with interest. "His name was Niall...he was really nice." Harry says. "But he didn't want to be friends with me anymore when we got to secondary school in year nine...so everything sort of stopped." He says, frowning from the remembrance. "But um...the game was that your friend has to pick a random person...anyone they want and imitate them for the rest of the day through the actions they portray." Harry says. Zayn chuckles.

"Must've been interesting." Zayn says.

Harry smiles. "It was...one time Niall said I had to impersonate this pregnant lady whose water broke a few minutes after. So we got a balloon from the market, filled it with air and put it under my shirt and I walked around with my stomach up, holding my back. Then in the middle of public Niall popped the balloon and I had to pretend I was going into labor." Harry says and Zayn laughs, imagining a young Harry acting so playful and not ruined by the weight of the world yet. He couldn't imagine the now Harry acting like that, too cautious, too much experience and not the good kind...at such a young age. "Sounds stupid now...but it was fun." He shrugs.

"I'm sure it was." Zayn chuckles. "Before coming here, to America, my last good memory of my school friends was when we pranked my teacher. We did the old put a thumbtack on the chair trick and when my teacher sat down he screamed out in pain and ran out of the classroom to get to the nurse. We were in hysterics."

Harry laughs, a beautiful sound. "I wouldn't have the guts. Niall probably would've done something like that though."

Zayn grins. "I was rambunctious, but harmless." He shrugs.

Harry turns his head when he feels something hit his knee, seeing a soccer ball had rolled up to the two of them.

"Hey! Pass that over here, yeah?" A young man exclaims. So, Harry stands and picks up the ball, walking a bit closer before rolling it on the ground towards the group of men playing a friendly game of soccer. "Harry Styles? Is that you?" The same man questions as he walks closer to Harry as well. Harry seems to tense at this, looking at the man with apprehensive eyes. In return, Zayn stands to be by his side. The man is tall, ginger hair, freckles across his nose, bright blue eyes, very pale skin. His smile is like a million dollar smile, charismatic with pearly white teeth. "Remember me?" The man questions. "I was in your glass in tenth form." He states.

Harry nods. "Yeah, Rodney." He mumbles.

"Yeah! Can't believe you remember." He says, eyes flickering to Zayn curiosuly as he walks up to them. "Hey, you're with him?" Rodney questions, sticking out his hand for Zayn to shake. "The names Rodney." He says when Zayn shakes it, smiling politely.

"Zayn, how do you guys know each other?" He asks, pulling away.

"Well, Harry was the talk of the school
He was quite popular." Rodney shrugs. "Weren't you?" He winks at the  emerald eyed man who brings his gaze down to the floor instantly. "Cat still got your tongue, huh?"

"Um, it was nice meeting you, man." Zayn says, grabbing Harry's hand quickly, to which Rodney notices and raises an eyebrow at. "But we've got a date, right, H?" Zayn smirks, making Harry look up with confusion in his eyes. "And I made reservations, hopefully you two can catch up again, huh?" Zayn says quickly.

Rodney snorts. "Would love to." He says, nodding.

Zayn nods once before forcefully pulling Harry along to walk back to the sidewalks and leave the park in a hurry.

"He wasn't your friend, was he?" Zayn asks, slowing down once they've made a decent distance.

Harry shakes his head. "Bully."

Zayn sighs.

"I didn't have friends in secondary school." Harry shakes his head. "I'm different. And I always will be." He says quietly, mostly saying it to himself.

"And I love that you're different." Zayn says.

"Different isn't always good." Harry mumbles.

Zayn frowns. "What's your different then?" He asks.

Harry sighs. "My different is embarrassing, weird looks, socially awkward and frequent misunderstandings." He states, looking at Zayn. "You...your different is inspiring, envious and everyone would want to be like you." He says. "But it's hard for anyone to imitate you because you're just...your own person and always will be." Harry says.

Zayn smiles, blowing air out through his nose. "My definition of your different is a genuinely kind, deep person who pushes through no matter the circumstances. And that's beautiful." Zayn says.

Harry bites his bottom lip, looking the opposite direction of where Zayn stands, attempting to hide his face. "Zayn, I-I know I've talked a lot...but can I tell you why I can't take compliments? Not just because I'm insecure." Harry says, voice distant because he isn't facing Zayn anymore. Zayn frowns, swallowing thickly.

"Of course," Zayn says. "You haven't talked enough." He says quietly.

Harry turns his head to look at him. He smiles slightly, eyes sad. His eyes have been constantly sad recently. It bothers Zayn to no end. They're walking the slowest they possibly can now, but don't plan on stopping.

"My dad...he um...he always...." Harry trails off, sighing shakily. "One time I walked in on my parents talking about me...but they never saw me. And...they were saying how worthless I was...and how I wouldn't amount to anything because of how stupid I am." Harry says. Zayn feels a pang in his heart. "And when I heard my parents feel that way and even the people I go to school with...I started feeling that way myself. My mum...she wasn't open about it but my dad made sure to remind me everytime I messed up." He says. "He would call me ugly because I could never get a girlfriend, not manly enough, dumb, irresponsible. But it would be way more explicit...I don't like that he cursed so much. The words hit deeper because of the way it would come off his lips." He says, staring into space, seeming to remember every event that he had to go through with his father, every word spat at him.

"You still wanted to save him?" Zayn questions.

Harry looks at Zayn, lips shut tight, and he sends him a silent nod with a locked jaw. "Stupid...I know." Harry says quietly.

A loud siren resounds in the air, booming in their ears as it whirs by all of a sudden. It startles Harry but the man quickly tries composing himself.

"Not stupid." Zayn shakes his head. "Genuine. " he says.

Harry doesn't say anything.

"Harry, you're comfortable around me, right?" Zayn questions.

Harry looks at Zayn, nodding. "Yes I am." He says confidently.

"And you trust me?" He asks, slightly nervous for the answer.

"I do." Harry, although, answers without hesitation. And this relieves Zayn.

"Then I want to tell you something." He states, reaching over to grab Harry's other hand, pulling the man to stand in front of him as they come to a stop at a less busy part of the walkway.

They look each other in the eyes and Zayn opens his mouth, trying to find the words to say because this was completely spontaneous. The air around them has settled, no longer unbearably windy but sunny with a light breeze. The warmness of the sun is reassuring for better days and passionate nights.

"I think you're one of the most beautiful people I've ever laid eyes on...and that's extremely cliche but I'm the last person that would resort to that just to sound sweet. I genuinely believe you're beautiful every time I look at you." Zayn says and an instant blush flourishes on Harry's cheeks but he doesn't stop looking at Zayn. "Your personality is one of a kind, no one is the same, in fact everyone is different and everyone has their own flaws that they're not proud of but no one can be perfect. You understand that, right?" Zayn says.

Harry bites his bottom lip, looking down at the ground. "Yes." He whispers.

"I wish I could show you how beautiful you truly are." Zayn says, his own cheeks heating up at the words.

"What do you mean?" Harry questions.

And Zayn chuckles lightly, shaking his head. He glides his thumb against Harry's knuckles. "I don't think I should say any of that to you...only if the time comes." Zayn says, swallowing thickly.

Harry frowns, confusion on his features, but he nods nonetheless. "Okay. One day?" Harry questions.

Zayn smiles. "Hope so." He says.

LATER

Zayn sits at a counter, in front of a bar in some club. He's not sure what it's called or where he is...but Louis is here to celebrate some friend's birthday who Zayn doesn't know and isn't interested in knowing considering everyone inside is wasted and dancing on the dance floor.

He is the designated driver and is sipping on Sprite, not feeling tor alcohol tonight. At all actually. He hasn't for a while.

The man lost where Louis is, seeing him at one second then not at the next. Zayn feels someone sitting beside him, but he ignores their presence. If it was Louis his friend would've caught his attention by now.

"Long time no see." A voice then says beside Zayn, making his head turn to see a familiar woman with bright, pretty green eyes. She has a smirk on her cherry red lips, looking at Zayn with hooded eyes.

"No name, right?" He snorts. He was definitely supposed to go on a date with this woman, call her back, but he got distracted with Harry and by looking at how gorgeous this woman is with undeniable confidence in her stature that's saying something. Its saying that Zayn is gay as fuck.

"Its Julia...I see you werent interested though." She chuckles, not seeming to be bothered by that fact.

Zayn shakes his head, still feeling guilty. He rubs the nape of his neck. "I guess you could say it like that...but in more understandable terms...I'm interested in guys...or a guy." Zayn says.

Julia nods her head in interest, not breaking eye contact with the man. "I see." She grins. "Is he here tonight?"

Zayn smiles, thinking about him. "No...this isnt somethinh he'd be at."

"Prude?"

"No, just not a partier."

Julia nods. "So, why are you here?"

"Oh, my friend is just celebrating someones birthday party." Zayn shrugs. "Louis actually, you know him? He works where we do."

The woman shakes her head. "I don't know anyone from your department besides well you." She says.

"Zayn!" He hears Louis' voice exclaim, head whipping towards the dance floor where he runs out of. He looks a bit shaken up and scared, stumbling instead if running now towards Zayn. "We need to go now." He snaps, grabbing the man's wrist and attempting to pull him off the stool.

Zayn puts his drink down before looking at Julia as he stands. "Guess i'm going, see you at work?" He says.

"Zayn!" Louis exclaims.

"Yeah, hopefully." She nods.

The two leave in a hurry into the cold night air, traffic zooming by like theres no tomorrow and bright lights blinking in the city atmosphere. Zayn confused as Louis keeps rushing farther and farther away from the club.

"Louis, are you going to explain?" Zayn questions as Louis keeps a firm grip on his wrist, pulling him along.

"I'll explain once we get back to your apartment." Louis says without looking at him.

"Are you just really drunk or being serious?" Zayn furrows his brows.

Louis doesn't respond, and eventually Zayn wrings his wrist from his hold, making Louis look back with a stoic expression. Zayn keeps walking though with his hands inside of his pockets and Louis follows beside him silently.

Now wouldn't be a good time to ask Louis about the situation with Harry since he's drunk as hell, but earlier wouldn't have been either so Zayn has to wait till tomorrow when he has a hangover and basically can't escape.

His friend is stumbling beside him, seeming to be off balance since he has let go of Zayn, not as much adrenaline rushing through his veins. He holds his head and Zayn grabs his upper arm to keep him up, making Louis look at him again.

The man swallows thickly, blue eyes intense. "Zayn?" He says.

"Yeah?" He questions, looking at Louis curiously.

"Sorry." He breathes.

"For what?" Zayn asks, not sure why he's apologizing at all but figures it's for something about Harry.

"Getting drunk off my arse as always." He says quietly.

Zayn furrows his brows, shaking his head. "You don't need to apologize for that, Lou." He states.

"Yeah, I do." Louis nods. "Because I'm drinking for a reason I'm not proud of." He says, stammering.

Zayn blinks, looking at the man. He sees the park nearby, but they'd have to cross the street. "Come on, let's go sit." Zayn says quietly.

They get across the street and walk along the grass, hearing the crunch of every step in the silent night. They make it over to a bench and sit quietly, Zayn letting go once the man is secure in his position. Then Zayn sits, rubbing his hands together to warm them up.

"Why were you drinking?" He asks.

"Because I love you." Louis says.

Zayn snorts. "That's not a reason to drink...unless you actually hate me and we have some hate, love thing going on-"

"Its more than that Zayn." Louis shakes his head, eyes fluttering closed. Zayn closes his mouth, now confused as to what Louis is trying to say. A shaky sigh passes the man's lips and he covers his face with his hands, sniffling. When he removes his hands, several tears glisten in the moonlight, resting on his cheeks.

"Lou?" Zayn questions.

"I've been lashing out and acting like a complete asshole more than usual because I'm in love with you." Louis says, and when Zayn soaks in and processes the words he feels his heart thump, thump a little harder than usual against his chest. From nerves, unfamiliarity, fear and not knowing what to do after the statement? Zayn isn't sure, maybe all of them combined. "And I've felt like this for three damn years...so when I knew you were interested in Harry...more like entranced by him...I knew I didn't have a chance." Louis shudders out a breath. "So I felt alone because you were loving someone else and no one...nobody gives a fuck about me."

The man simply listens, not knowing what to say himself. It's not like he can run to anyone and ask what the fuck he should do atbthis point because he doesn't want to hurt Louis...that's the last thing he wants to do...but he's so infatuated with Harry that he's blinded by that. It's not like he's going to yell Lima and AJ all of this, Louis definitely wouldn't want that.

"Its okay if you don't feel the same way Zayn...I-I ununderstand...I just needed to get that off my chest." Louis says, finally looking him in the eyes now.

"Louis...I want to still be close to you." Zayn says.

His friend suddenly moves his head up, capturing Zayn's lips onto his own, catching Zayn completely off guard as his breath hitches in his throat. Louis kisses hard, the strong taste of liquor on his lips seeping onto Zayn's tongue. But Zayn doesn't react, retracting backwards if anything but Louis only moves forward until the blue eyed man gets back to his senses and pulls away, sucking in a sharp breath.

He stands up quickly. "I-I'm sorry." He stammers, looking as if he doesn't know what to do next. Leave or stay.

Zayn stands, grabbing Louis' hand. "Come on, let's get to my car. We're staying at mine." Zayn says, pulling Louis along. And his friend follows silently, looking defeated.

THE NEXT DAY

The steam coming from the hot mug of tea wafts into the air like a dancing silhouette of a woman. Louis stares at it mindlessly, eyes drained of blue, but simply dead inside. A permanent frown rests on his lips, and he isn't even moving, looking as if he's made of stone.

Zayn sits across from him, sipping at his peppermint tea. They both skipped out on work today because of the emotionally draining night and Louis stayed up crying for hours. It was only right. And Zayn stayed up with him, even laying with him on the tiny bed.

"Louis." Zayn says.

He finally moves, eyes flickering up into Zayn's gaze.

Zayn smiles. "Finally, I thought you took a look at Medusa." He jokes, chuckling lightly but it slowly dies out awkwardly when Louis doesn't react, a heavy sigh releasing from his lips with a frown. Zayn puts his cup down, not having an appetite anymore.

"Theres no reason for me to not be in love with you too, you know?" Zayn says and this seems to strike something in Louis, confusion written across his face. "Because you deserve love." Zayn smiles. "You're...fucking hot as hell, and that's only the half of it!" Zayn exclaims, eyes widening and Louis only half smiles but it drops just as quickly as it came.

"You can just say it, Zayn. You're in love with Harry." Louis shrugs. "I'm not an emotional wreck anymore. Last night...I shared my feelings and that's all I had to do." Louis says.

"Okay, but that's not the point. The point is that you shouldn't feel alone because there are so many people out there waiting for you." Zayn says.

Louis swallows thickly. "Can you stop saying things like that? It doesn't help you or me." Louis snorts, attitude bittersweet.

Zayn purses his lips.

"We're still friends, right?" Zayn asks quietly.

"I should be asking you that question." Louis says.

Zayn nods and Louis smiles slightly. "Good." He says. Louis finally picks up the mug and takes a few sips before putting it down along with his head in his hands. "So, is it true?" He questions, looking up again as he rests his hand on his cheek, elbow on the table.

"What?" Zayn blinks.

"Are you in love with Harry?" Louis questions.

Zayn snorts, smiling slightly as he looks down at the table. "Yeah." He says quietly, nodding.

"Why?"

"Just feels right with him...I guess." Zayn mumbles.

"You know you can tell me, right? Just because of whatever last night...we're still best friends and we tell each other everything." Louis shrugs.

Zayn smiles, a real smile. "Thanks." Zayn really needed the reassurance. "Even though we've hardly touched and we've never even kissed...I still am interested in everything about him and crave to one day just...you know." Zayn mumbles the last words.

"Ravish him?" Louis smirks and Zayn sighs heavily, rolling his eyes playfully before smirking slightly.

"Doesn't sound too bad actually." He says and Louis chuckles.

"So, what's up with him? Why doesn't he like to be touched so much?"

Zayn enjoys questions like this because it's something between only them. And even if Louis is his closest friend...he knows he shouldn't just be spewing the information out there.

"He's been through a lot." Zayn says. "It shocked me actually."

Louis nods his head. "Impacted him badly?" He questions.

Zayn nods. "Yeah." He mumbles. Louis puts Jo's mug on the table with a heavy sigh and Zayn looks at him. "So what do you say to staying in and eating junk food while watching every comedy movie known to mankind?" Zayn questions and for the first time in a few days a bright, genuine smile crosses Louis' face.

"I say hell yeah."