I was trying to write another chapter for Secrets of Time and ended up with this instead. It doesn't fit with the storyline at all, except maybe give content to what and why Tommy is feeling certain things. And it does refer to things that happen story wise but not canon wise. I think it's a pretty good emotion piece, so I thought I'd share it with y'all anyways as I keep procrastinating Notebook Episode 2. Anyways enjoy!

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Tommy had been abandoned or neglected by everyone in his life at one point or another. His Dad, Philza, had always liked Techno the best. Wilbur wasn't this great role model that Tommy had thought he was. His older brother had always belittled him, comparing him to Tubbo and making him feel useless. Even Tubbo, the one person Tommy thought he'd always be able to count on left him. Replaced him even with Ranboo. Sam and Puffy always treated him so kindly, but they had lives, lovers, and jobs. They had priorities, it wasn't their fault that Tommy wasn't one of them. Still hurt though. 

There were so many other people on the server not even worth mentioning. He barely knew Bad, or Ant. Karl, Sapnap, and Quackity had made their own kingdom and left everyone else. No one really knew George, after Dream was put in prison the boy became even more distant than before. Ponk, Jack, and Nikki only really talked to each other. And as much as Tommy missed Nikki, she was different. There was a new hardness in her eyes whenever she looked his way that made him wary of her. Tommy never really got over Eret's betrayal. It wasn't the last, or the worst, but it was the first. What she said kind of set everything in motion. She'd made up for it sure, and Tommy wasn't angry with her anymore, but he certainly wasn't going to trust her the same ever again. Especially when people insisted on quoting her whenever they stabbed him in the back. 

Fundy was changed too. He was broken, done being used and then thrown away like he was nothing. He stopped letting himself care and it tore him apart. Poor guy lost his dad, and then Philza wanted absolutely nothing to do with him, giving him the cold shoulder to his face. That was when Tommy realized that Philza might not be so great. It was weird having that image broken. He'd spent his whole life looking up to Phil and Wilbur. Wanting to be like them, and make them proud of him. They were petty, and bitter and he never wanted to be like that, but it was hard when that was kind of all he knew. Just violence and bitterness. 

No one ever told him they were proud of him. No one ever told him that it was okay when he messed up. Everything he did was treated like a stupid mistake, or an attack. Never as an accident, which was what it usually was. Hell, half the things he got blamed for wasn't even his fault really. Wilbur and Dream were the ones who fucked things up, and Tommy was always the one who got blamed. Everyone was always either treating like a dumb kid, or a criminal. 

And then there was Dream. His personal tormentor that followed in his every footstep, pulling strings Tommy didn't even know he had until they tangled around his limbs and neck. Tripping him up and choking him. When Dream had gone to prison, Tommy felt like he could breathe for the first time in years. All he wanted was to come home, but when he did he found this tall shy Endermen boy in his place. 

He didn't get a single visitor outside of Ghostbur for the entire time he was in exile. Not a soul seemed to care about what he did or where he went except for Dream. Ghostbur just kind of existed, not really caring exactly. It made Tommy sick to his stomach when he thought about all the things Dream used to say to him. How he was Tommy's only real friend, the only person who cared about him. It made him sick because it was true. Dream was a manipulative man, but he wasn't really a liar, all the bullshit he spun was made from the truth. 

But Tommy wasn't mad. None of anything that had ever happened really made him mad. He acted mad, because that was just who he was. A loud angry kid just trying to get his family's attention. But the only real thing he'd felt lately was lonely, and hurt. When he'd killed the Blob, and Dream by default apparently, everyone started to look at him differently. They acted like now that Dream was gone everything was magically better. That's not true, everyone knew it was going to take time, but for the first time maybe ever, people started to believe things could get better. 

That kind of made Tommy mad. Dream was a horrible person, a real dick head. But he wasn't solely to blame for everything that happened. Everyone pretended that he was the only villain, like they hadn't all done shitty things too. Everyone killed everyone, and stole shit, and started petty fights about petty things. It got so much better after Dream died, they actually banded together as a people for the first time to seal off the egg and rescue everyone trapped under its influence. That had been nice. They all helped each other to rebuild, retracing fairly for supplies instead of stealing. The server was so much better in so many ways, Tommy could recognize that. 

But Tommy was still. . . Still stuck. Everyone else moved on. Rebuilt, slowly began to smile again, and feel happy. It was like those days, back in the beginning. When Wilbur would sing songs and play his guitar. When Dream was one of the people and not some tyrant. When they were all friends. It was nice, for a while going back to the old times. But as the familiarity lasted, Tommy grew restless. There was still a reason everything happened, there had to be. But he was still living in his dirt hill. And now he didn't even have Tubbo. Tubbo had work, Ranboo, and Micheal. Tommy's best friend adopted a kid and barely even got to know about it, he found out accidentally when Techno asked Tubbo how the kid was. Techno, who had killed Tubbo before, knew about Micheal before Tommy did. 

It was just like the old days, everyone was building and happy and friends again. But Tommy felt even more invisible than before. He tried everything to fix it. He moved to SnowChester with Tubbo, hoping their relationship would bounce back if they were roommates. But Tubbo was so often out it was like Tommy was seeing him even less now that he lived with the guy. He tried to make an effort to get along with Ranboo, but it didn't last long. He knew it wasn't the guys fault that he was Tommy's taller cooler replacement, but Tommy was raised by old bitter bastards. Old habits die hard. Tommy even tried to reach out to Phil and Techno. Phil was always busy, and Techno was, well, Techno. 

Tommy worked all the odd jobs he could around town. He worked with Nikki for a while, and it was nice, she was nice. But he made a minor mistake and she lost her mind at him. You'd think he'd dumped lava on her cat instead of flour. And it was an accident, it was a big bowl of flour and he hadn't even seen the cat until he was tripping over the damn thing. She kicked him out and told him was banned. 

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It doesn't have a concrete ending because it was just a ramble, but to this help me figure out Tommy's emotional state right this for SoT at so that's nice. I hope you guys enjoyed it :D