I've always been hopelessly in love with the idea and of love. I used to fantasize about it, about falling in love, about my future, about falling out of love—all of it. It always seemed so out of reach yet so glamorous, like a fairy tale come to life. Now I know it's not like that, but I can't help fantasizing over it still.

But my friend asked me an interesting question the other day, and even though it was mainly a joke, I can't stop thinking about it. She asked me, "How do you know your cat loves you?" It wasn't meant to be taken seriously, just a casual question. But there is no such thing as casual for me. Maybe it's because I'm an INFJ. Maybe it's because I'm a dreamer. Maybe there isn't really a reason. Maybe I feel like I need a reason anyways.

So, I've been wondering: how do you know someone loves you? (And how do you know you love someone else?)

They can tell you, of course. How about we take it back to seventh grade science, where you might have briefly talked about claims? When someone says the words "I love you," they are making a claim. There are a few ways to decide if it is true or not—there's intuition, authority, logic, and evidence. Intuition—you probably want to believe them, so you automatically do at first. Or maybe you're like me, and doubt yourself so much that first off you don't believe them. Then there is authority—if they're close to you, like a family member, a trusted friend, or a romantic interest, they probably have the authority to say that. If you don't know them that well, then they aren't an expert. Logic—have they been close to you? Do they know you well enough to decide? Do they go out of their way to spend time with you? Finally, there's evidence. The one that's considered to prove a claim the most. Well, for this one we're going to have to discuss the nature of love.

What is love?

love
/ləv/
noun
1.
an intense feeling of deep affection.

What does that mean? It just means you have deep emotions of fondness for someone or something. But is that what it truly is at its heart? (Now I'm just being over dramatic and punny.)

"You're asking me to define an abstract concept that no one has managed to explain since time began. You sort of sprang it on me," Gansey said. "Why do we breathe air? Because we love air? Because we don't want to suffocate. Why do we eat? Because we don't want to starve. How do I know I love her? Because I can sleep after I talk to her. Why?"
― Maggie Stiefvater, The Raven King

I don't think you can truly define love. I've pondered it tonight, and considered it over the course of my entire life. But I've never found an answer. Maybe it's not even about the answer. But I don't even know what it's about.

But because you can't define love, you can't really know if someone loves you or if you're in love. So I don't think there's a definite answer. But I'm still going to look for one, because I can't ever let anything go unsolved. But so many things are mysteries. I still fantasize about love. I can't help it. I'm hopelessly in love with the idea of love.

A/N
So this is what happens when I can't sleep and can't stop thinking. I stay up late and philosophize. And when I stay up late and write, it's usually incoherent in the morning. So sorry if this doesn't make any sense, but I'm publishing it tonight anyway.