Chapter 4
Lauren shifted her gaze side longs, discreetly observing the dark Potion Master as they made their way to the Slytherin Common Room. He was proving an enigma of epic proportions in her mind. Snape, from what she had watched in the movies and had read in the books, exuded unpleasantness and often impressed upon others around him that he wasn't a very likeable wizard. Lauren greatly suspected that he encouraged this viewpoint, doing little to contradict otherwise.
But there was something different about him as she walked alongside him. She couldn't pinpoint what it was, but it was almost as though the constant, coiled tension he enshrouded himself with like a heavy cloak had eased somewhat, his scowl now absent and leaving his features smooth and unmarred, though still frustratingly unreadable.
Lauren had to wonder if Severus' surly disposition only came to the forefront when he was forced to endure Harry Potter and his friends' presence, and by extension, the rest of the students of the other Houses. The fact that none dared approach him lent weight to this theory.
Her thoughts drifted to the Slytherin students and the fact that Snape was their Head of House. Did he treat them with the same contempt and disdain as he did with the other students? Lauren somehow doubted it, otherwise he would not be placed in charge of their wellbeing. The Slytherins would need to know that there was someone they could go to when they needed help, and Snape would have to have their confidence and be somewhat approachable in order for them to come to him with their problems. Though, she suspected that he would have little to no patience for trivial drama that seemed to plague student life.
No, she concluded, Snape is a complex character; there is more lurking beneath that impenetrable surface.
"I am not above hexing you if you continue to stare at me," Snape intoned, his gaze still resolutely trained ahead.
Lauren blinked, realizing that she had, indeed, been staring at him.
"You must lead a very dull existence if you find my appearance so...fascinating," he drawled.
"You have no idea," she remarked, unwilling to let him rile her up. Suddenly she turned to him, a question coming to the forefront. "How do you do that?"
"Do what?" he enquired, meeting her gaze with his own penetrating one as he stared down at her. It did not escape Lauren's attention that Professor Snape was quite tall, hitting the six-foot mark by her estimation. Added to the fact that he had impeccable posture and held himself upright with rigidity, as well as all the layers of black, gave him a distinct formidable air.
"Wrap yourself in an aura of danger?" she replied. "You exude darkness even when you are just standing in a room, doing absolutely nothing."
"I hadn't realized I did such a thing," he replied, the lie flowing smoothly from his silver tongue.
"Oh, Krusty Krabs," she declared, monetarily startled at the Spongebob reference. How the hell did Dumbledore even know about Spongebob Squarepants?!
Snape arched an imperious brow. "Krusty Krabs?"
She flapped a hand impatiently, flushing embarrassedly and scowling to cover it up. I'm so going to murder Dumbledore! "You know what I mean."
His lips slowly curved upwards, his eyes glimmering with restrained humor. "Did you, perhaps, mean... 'Bullshit'?" he asked, drawing out the word and making it sound deliciously forbidden, especially uttered in that deep, rich voice.
Lauren huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. "It really unfair that you're able to swear," she said sulkily. "By the way, how long will this spell last?"
"Until it is lifted."
Uh oh. So...never, then.
"Could you lift it?"
"I could..."
Lauren waited hopefully and, rather, naively.
"...but I won't," he finished, dashing all hope without an ounce of remorse.
"Why not?" she protested.
They passed the now empty Great Hall and were heading towards a stairway situated further down the passageway, which presumably led down to the dungeon.
Professor Snape paused at the opening, giving her his full attention. "Think about it, Miss Ward. You are, by all outward appearances, an eleven-year-old child in a school that strictly abhors any foul language. It would not do for us to allow you to use such expletives, especially in front of the more impressionable and younger students. It would set a bad example and seeing that you are unable to control these...urges," he said, emphasizing the word with disdain, "this was the best course of action to take."
"And you approve of this?"
Snape levelled her with an intense stare. "I really don't care either way."
"Of course you don't," she muttered bitterly, still spitting mad that her more expressive nature had been taken away from her.
Her gaze was drawn to the dimly lit stairs that wound down into murkiness below, and when she dragged her attention back to Severus Snape, she noted that he was regarding her intently, though no discernable emotion was writ on his pale features.
Professor Snape was not a man one would call handsome, at least not in the general sense. Yes, he had a hooked nose, but the books blew it way out of proportion, and it wasn't any worse than Dumbledore's own crooked one. His pallor could be described as pallid, or maybe even sallow, but she thought that it was rather the stark, inky black of his hair contrasting with his skin tone that made it seem unnaturally pale. And talking of hair...it wasn't greasy looking or lank as she had expected. Instead, in this light, the fine strands looked glossy. Even silky.
Lauren pondered this and had to conclude that the fumes of the potions being brewed in his classroom all day left his hair greasy. If she was in his same position, standing over a boiling cauldron day in and day out, her own hair would be in the same state. Maybe even worse.
Snape arched a brow, almost as though he had read her thoughts, though Lauren was past the point of caring whether he possessed this ability or not.
"What can I expect going down there? I feel like I'm being thrown in the deep end here, completely unprepared," she finally asked.
Severus Snape regarded her and when he replied, she was surprised that he hadn't brushed off her question.
Yes, he is different from what everyone thinks he is. Or what he chooses to let everyone believe.
"Unsurprisingly, you will be questioned. Considering your grand entrance tonight, it is to be expected." His penetrating gaze held her captive, making her want to squirm under the scrutiny, yet reluctant to break the spell he wove.
Bloody hell! He's good at that. I really need to get him to show me how to unnerve a person with a single look.
"I would exercise caution about revealing the truth of your...unique origins. If pressed, simply state that you were brought up in a Muggle orphanage and that you do not know of you parents, though Dumbledore suspects that maybe they were a witch and a wizard. It would be safer to feed your fellow Slytherins this lie than tell them the truth."
"Are they really that fanatical about blood purity?" she asked, well aware that Severus was a half-blood and might have faced adversity himself in the past.
"For the most part, yes," he stated simply. "But do not judge all by the ideology of some."
Lauren nodded, wondering what the hell she had gotten herself into. She was literally walking into a pit of serpents.
"That aside, Slytherins are loyal to their own kind. And by all accounts, you are a Slytherin now. You will find, if you choose, that the friends you make will protect and defend you. They will help you, regardless of whether you are in the right or wrong."
Lauren boldly held his gaze. "And what if I need your help?"
Severus remained silent as he considered her words.
Finally he replied. "I can be found in my office after hours if you should have any questions. But do not waste my time with trivialities," he warned darkly, letting her know that he was deadly serious. Lauren was no fool and knew it wouldn't be wise approach him for something as mundane as a broken nail.
"Thank you," she replied.
"I have a feeling I'm going to regret extending that offer," he muttered, not bothering to hide his disgust.
Lauren flashed him a toothy grin. "Yup."
His response was a sneer. For all his reticence, Lauren greatly suspected that Snape's curiosity about her would grant her more leeway when it came to his time and attention than it would with others.
He turned sharply on his heel and started descending the stairs, Lauren following close behind.
Once in the dungeons, Professor Snape turned left and strode down the corridor, which was dimly illuminated by lanterns that cast eerie shadows upon the rough stone walls as they walked along.
"This is the Potion classroom. My classroom," he explained, pausing outside a closed wooden door. "I have the dismal pleasure of teaching all you dunderheads the fine craft of potion making and trying to ensure that none of you blow yourself up in the process," Severus elucidated.
Lauren glanced at the door and then back at him, giving him a skeptical look. "Have many students ever blown themselves up?"
"Not under my tutelage. Though, there have been times when I have been tempted to let them do just that, if only to be rid of one less idiot in this school."
Lauren quirked a smile at his statement. Severus Snape actually has a sense of humor.
"There is another door on the other side of the classroom which leads to my office. You can seek out my assistance there, should you ever need it."
She gave him a small smile; it was, after all, not every day that Severus Snape gave such an offer.
"Do you think I'll be able to do it?" She asked and elaborated when he shot her a questioning look. "Do you think I'll be able to learn magic and brew positions and cast spells, and...well, learn it all?"
Snape remained unnaturally still. Finally he spoke, his words clipped and his eyes reflecting little to no emotion. "That is entirely up to you and your willingness to acquire knowledge and retain it, as well as understand it and put it to good use. My expectations for your success are minimal at best."
With that cutting remark he strode down the corridor, his robes snapping sharply at his booted heels, where he halted at a bare patch of wall that was utterly nondescript.
Lauren glared at him, feeling white hot daggers of rage flare within her at his cruel statement.
What a horrible thing to say! I had thought he was different, but he is certainly proving me wrong. He's nothing but a vindictive, bitter, contemptuous, good-for-nothing son of a..., she raged in her mind, cursing him thoroughly and quite explicitly.
She came to stand beside him, glaring at the wall and refusing to look at him as she seethed over his words.
"A password is required to be admitted into any Common Room," he explained, completely unfazed at her angry expression. "It changes every fortnight and the new password is posted on the bulletin board. Be sure to keep an eye out for it and memorize it."
"Let me guess. The password for this one is 'Dungeon Bat'?" she asked with a snarl.
Through her peripheral vision, she saw his head whip around. She slowly turned her head in his direction and instantly regretted her words.
Brimming in those cold, hard obsidian depths was dark, unfurling anger. The kind of silent anger that was more dangerous and formidable than any outburst could be. It was like a brewing storm on the horizon, hinting at powerful and deadly force. And just beneath that scorching rage, barely discernable to the naked eye, lay abject hurt. It was there and she had glimpsed it and wished she could take her words back. Knowing that she was the cause of that hurt – regardless of how well deserved it was – didn't settle well with her.
"Impudent girl," he growled, putting emphasis on the word 'girl'. In his sneaky Slytherin way, he was insulting her right back by referencing her current regression into a child, knowing that this was the best way of inflicting the most hurt with her.
Lauren blinked back the tears that had sprung unbidden in her eyes. To Severus Snape she was very much a girl and he would always view her as such – and this knowledge hurt more than any other insult he could have inflicted on her.
She hung her head to hide her tears and murmured, "I'm sorry. That was uncalled for."
Severus just stared at her through guarded eyes, not an ounce of emotion or humanity seeping through.
Then he abruptly glanced away and addressed the patch of wall, "Serpentibus perierunt domus."
Wh...what?! How the bleeding hell am I supposed to remember that?!
"What does that mean?" she asked.
"House of serpents," he replied coolly, still refusing to look at her as the wall smoothly slid open to reveal a passageway within.
"Fitting," she remarked, well aware of the thick tension that had formed an impenetrable wall between them. She wanted to apologize again, but her pride wouldn't let her. So she settled on asking him questions instead. "Couldn't you have picked something simpler?"
"What makes you think I picked the password?" he asked, his tone still frosty as he started walking down the passage.
"You're the Head of the Slytherin House. It's only logical that you would be the one to pick the passwords."
He didn't bother replying – a fact that irritated her to no end. Lauren despised being ignored.
This part of the dungeons had an ethereal greenish tinge to it, and Lauren couldn't tell if it was from the lanterns or if the walls were giving it this hue. By the cool dampness permeating the air, she could tell they were quite deep beneath the castle.
She startled from her thoughts, realizing that Snape was way ahead of her and wasn't bothering keeping his pace slow this time for her. Lauren tried to run up and catch up with him, but he was either too damned fast or refusing to let her do so.
He halted before a set of heavy wooden double doors that were ornately carved and the handles curved and silver. Severus glanced over his shoulder at her, letting his impatience show as he waited for her to catch up.
But just before she reached his side, he pushed open the door and strode in, leaving her alone in the cold hallway.
Lauren felt a pang of guilt stab through her heart. She hadn't meant to hurt him, really. The words had just slipped out before she could stop it, something that happened more times than she cared to admit. And now, by the looks of it, apologizing wasn't going to be enough to fix this.
She swallowed the hard lump that had formed in her throat. I don't want to make him an enemy, she thought pathetically. I'm meant to help him but, instead, I have made it worse.
She could discern low murmuring coming from within the room and a sense of queasiness washed over her; a different kind of fear altogether. She was now going to have to step inside, pretend she was a student in every sense of the words, and somehow try and fit in. And not reveal too much in the process. Her reality suddenly felt very daunting.
"Miss Ward, I do not appreciate idle dawdling," Snape snapped from within the room, making her jump.
Lauren swallowed thickly and took a shaky step forward.
Oh God! I can't do this! I can't redo school all over again. This is my worst nightmare come true.
Lauren wasn't exaggerating. She was often plagued by dreams where she was back in high school, and she would wake up in a cold sweat on those nights, thankful that it had only been a nightmare.
Wiping her now clammy hands against her jeans, she thought that it was just as well she hadn't been sorted into Gryffindor. Her courage was non-existent now and had long since fled her. And all she had to do was face a room of prepubescent and teenage kids. She shuddered at the thought.
Steeling herself, Lauren stepped into the Common Room.
Such was her awe that she did not, at first, notice the group of curious faces peering back at her.
The Slytherin Common Room was surprisingly surreal in its breathtaking beauty, and it was very different from what she had imagined it to look like.
It was obvious, at first glance, that this part of the dungeons was situated somewhere under the Black Lake. The tall windows that stretched from floor to vaulted ceiling looked out into the blue-green tinged murky waters, and she thought she could see shadowy things swimming beyond.
Grand chandeliers hung from the high ceilings, and lanterns all around the room gave off a greenish tinge to the grandeur interior. There was a large fireplace that instantly drew the eye, and within crackled and inviting fire, heating up the Common Room. Just above the stone mantle hung a portrait of twisted serpents set in against emerald green background. Two leather couches were positioned in front of the fireplace, and off to the other side of the room was a large, polished round table with high back and plush upholstered chairs encircling it.
Lauren felt like she was in an underwater shipwreck; magical and entrancing and ethereal all rolled into one. She instantly fell in love.
And, for the first time since she had arrived, Lauren felt like she had finally found the place where she truly belonged.
She glanced over to Snape, who was observing her reaction keenly. Noting the expression on her face, a small prideful smile graced his lips.
Yes, she thought with insight. Professor Snape is proud of his house and what it represents.
Then she suddenly noticed the students congregated in a loose group around the Potion Master, and her panic returned tenfold. Within the crowd she picked out a head of platinum blonde hair that could only belong to Draco Malfoy. He was currently regarding her with shrewdness, his eyes narrowed as he observed her, but there was none of the hostility lurking on his features that he often reserved for Harry Potter.
"I would like to welcome Miss Lauren Ward into our fold," Professor Snape said slowly, rolling his tongue around each syllable as he spoke, commanding everyone's attention. "She is now to be one of our fellow Slytherin's, and as a Slytherin, I would like for all of you to be welcoming of her presence. After all, we do not abandon our own in times of need. There is much that she does not know, and she is going to need your help settling in and navigating life within Hogwarts. I ask that you give her your assistance."
Professor Snape paused, gauging each of his student's reaction to his speech.
"You say that she doesn't know much. Does that mean she's Muggle-Born?" This, unsurprisingly, came from Draco.
Severus slowly directed his attention to Draco. "Miss Ward's lineage is unknown at this point." This drew some raised brows of surprise and curious looks, but each student remained respectfully silent as Snape continued, "But the fact remains that the Sorting Hat saw certain traits within her; traits that deemed her suitable enough to be sorted into Slytherin."
This earned a few nods from some of the students. It was obvious that none would dare argue with the formidable Professor.
"But I think you have overlooked something important, Draco," Professor Snape drawled, cunning suddenly flashing within his eyes.
"What's that, Sir?" Draco asked.
"Miss Ward has singlehandedly managed to do the impossible..."
Draco waited with bated breath for his Godfather to continue. Snape peered down his nose at the young wizard, a slow smile curling his lips.
"With her spectacular entrance tonight, Miss Ward, dare I say, has now managed to outshine the famous Harry Potter. A feat no other could accomplish. She, I think, will be a boon to our House."
Draco's eyes flashed with greedy delight at this revelation, and Lauren now regarded Snape with a new sense of respect. By painting her as someone of value and importance, he had thus ensured that she would be accepted by the other Slytherins, regardless of blood purity or not. It was quite a tactical move on his part.
Professor Snape regarded each of the Slytherin's and, satisfied that he had accomplished his task, turned to an older girl with plain brown hair that hung in a straight curtain down her back. From the badge pinned to her cloak, Lauren instantly recognized her as a Prefect.
"Miss Farley, can you please show Miss Ward to her room and answer any questions she may have."
Gemma Farley nodded. "Yes, Sir," she replied, striding confidently towards Lauren, her honey brown eyes twinkling delightedly at her new charge.
Lauren eyed the older girl's approach wearily but stood her ground. Gemma stopped in front of her and extended her slim hand. Lauren blinked at the friendly gesture and she tentatively shook her proffered hand.
Her gaze slid over to Snape, who was watching their interaction like a hawk. He caught her eye and gave an imperceptible nod of his head. Snape trusted the Prefect and knew Lauren would be in good hands.
"Come. I'll show you to the First Year's Dormitory," Gemma stated, beckoning for Lauren to follow.
Lauren took a step forward, but Snape's voice had her halting in her tracks.
"Miss Ward?"
She glanced over her shoulder, dreading to witness the animosity that the Potion Master was still undoubtedly feeling towards her. But, surprisingly, it was absent from his features.
He stared at her for a heartbeat and then continued, "Welcome to Slytherin." If she was not mistaken, she could have sworn that his gaze softened just a fraction. Hope bloomed anew that he had accepted her apology from earlier on and was, in his own way, conveying this to her. It was enough to loosen the tight band of guilt twisting her conscience.
"Thank you...Sir," she replied, giving him a small smile.
Snape gave a curt nod and swept from the room, his black robes billowing with the sharp movement.
She turned her attention back to Gemma and followed the other girl out of the Common Room to a set of doors. These doors led to a long, wide passage adorned with lanterns and woven tapestries. There were seven sets of identical doors placed at intervals along the way, and Gemma halted outside the first door located to their right. Swinging the door open, she revealed a large room with five four-poster beds swathed in plush, green bedding. A large emerald green rug edged with white carpeted the stone floor, an image of a serpent embroidered onto it.
This room, like the Common Room, had tall arched windows that looked out into the depths of the Black Lake, the sound of swishing water having a calming effect. Lauren quite imagined that the white noise would be quite conductive for a good night's rest.
Trunks were placed at the foot of each bed. All except one.
That would be my bed, then, she thought numbly.
"I had wondered why there had only been nine Slytherin's this year," Gemma remarked casually from behind her.
Lauren turned around to face her. "How many are there normally?"
"Ten First Years. Forty students are enrolled into Hogwarts each year and each House receives ten."
Lauren nodded at this news, though she had to wonder how the Sorting Hat managed to divided the students up equally, ensuring that each House received its quota of ten. Surely there would be times when there were more students that were better suited for a particular house than others? She really didn't have the answer, and right now she didn't want to really think too hard about it.
"How did you do that?" Gemma asked, breaking Lauren from her thoughts. She shot the girl a confused look. "How did you managed to break through the wards and land in the Great Hall like that?"
"I don't know," Lauren answered honestly. "Dumbledore is going to make some enquiries and find out exactly what happened," she supplied.
Gemma studied her, no doubt weighing up the truth of her words. Satisfied, she continued. "That must have been quite a shock for you."
"It was," Lauren agreed.
"What were you doing before you apparated here?" There was nothing but intrigue radiating from the teenager.
Getting exceptionally drunk. Lauren didn't think that would be an appropriate answer, though. She frowned slightly as something important niggled at the back of her mind. There was something she was forgetting, but she couldn't remember what.
"Oh, uh...I was going to bed."
"What about your parents? Surely they must be worried that you just disappeared?"
Lauren felt like she was being interrogated by the Inquisitor, but Snape had forewarned her that there would be questions.
"I'm an orphan. I don't know anything about my parents."
Gemma's facial expression morphed into that of sincere empathy. "I'm so sorry."
Lauren just nodded. It was safer not to elaborate.
"So, you grew up in a Muggle orphanage then?"
Again, Lauren nodded.
"And your parents...is there a possibility that they could have been a witch and a wizard?"
Lauren paused. "I don't know, though Professor Dumbledore is going to look into it and find out what he can."
Gemma nodded, satisfied. Then her gaze landed on Lauren's bed.
"Oh, you don't have a trunk."
"The headmaster said my supplies would be here by morning."
Silence stretched before them and then Gemma patted her shoulder sympathetically. "It's a lot to take in, but it will get better. I'll let you get settled in and get a good night's rest," Gemma stated. "If you need me for anything, the door to my room is the last one down the passage. Don't hesitate to come to me with any problems you may have."
"Thank you, Gemma," Lauren said, walking stiffly towards her bed. Her head was beginning to pound again and she just wanted to be left alone.
Sensing this, Gemma gave her a smile and closed the door behind her as she left the room.
Lauren sat on the edge of the rather comfy bed and cradled her head in her hands. Hopefully when she woke up in the morning, this would all prove just to be a very bad dream.
Lauren fell back onto the mattress and stared up at the green canopy of the bed. Tears of hopelessness stung her eyes. She was exhausted and overwhelmed and not strong enough to cope with all of this.
How was she going to get through all of this?
Her thoughts drifted to Snape and his cruel words, and it was with a sudden revelation that she realized that in his underhanded way, he had been trying to provoke her to succeed. He knew that by making her angry enough, she would be even more determined to prove him wrong and excel. It was reverse psychology at its best.
Her own malicious remark came back to haunt her, and her guilt redoubled. Severus had been trying to help her and still was, if his speech to his students was any indication. Even after she had hurt him.
He was a complicated man who did things in a complicated and sly manner, that was for sure. Her anger was no longer a driving force, but her guilt now was. She was going to do whatever it took to get through this and be the best she could be.
She may not be brave like a Gryffindor, but she was a Slytherin. And, as a Slytherin, she would survive this with cunning and skill.
And maybe get Snape through all of this alive, a sly voice whispered in the back of her mind. It was an idea that was starting to take deep roots.
Was it possible? Was it possible to change things enough so that Snape would survive, but not change things enough to change the overall outcome of the War?
Lauren didn't know, but she now had seven years to figure out a plan.
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