We meet again.  Oh and I forgot to ask what do you think of newfound Basma? I think we all need someone like that. 

" Wake up! " Screeched Basma. I could hear chaos enfold nearby.Screaming, shouting and wailing. 

I surveyed my surroundings with half open eyes, some bright candle from outside letting me see.

Basma, Auntie Nahiza, Uncle Habib were standing next to me, their faces displaying mixed emotions, mainly fear and worry. 

A little further away, Malik, Naffiza and Yaccoub had formed a huddle. 

Malik was clutching his mother's hand tightly, Naffiza picking him up and hugging him. 

Reassuring him as he cried. Yaccoub stood next to his wife staring at something in the distance. 

Karima was gone.

The din was deafening and I was tempted to fall back asleep. Auntie Nahiza started shaking me with my shoulders.

I opened my eyes wider to try and see what was going on outside. 

Auntie Nahiza smiled in relief and helped me stand up.

Uncle Habib took a step towards me and gave Auntie Nahiza a hug, she dissolved, breaking down into tears.

Basma stood up authoritavely and stared them down," We have no time for this! "

I now saw we were in a small cove, sheltered from the drama outside.

Basma filled me in," Mr Khan from the treats store knows another way out. There's a hidden door on the side of the tunnel near our school. But the problem is that the English have just got here, they're trying to kill us before we escape. "

She said this all in a high-pitched panicky voice as if just realising what was going on," So we have to go. But we can't all go together or we'll most likely die. "

Uncle Habib took my hand," We will stick together as a family. "

He glared at Basma, but instead of cowering Basma sighed," No we won't. Hear that? "

Now I could only see their shadows and slowly everything turned black, we could only listen, we fell silent at the sound of screaming and screeching, people begging for mercy. 

Basma shed a tear then looked towards the anxious huddle nearby, Naffiza, Yaccoub and Malik. 

" None of us want to die. It's obvious them three go together, you two, and me and Sarah. "

Uncle Habib began to argue," No, that's not - "

" She's right, " I broke in, " We don't have any time. We have to go now. "

I heard footsteps, luckily it was only Yaccoub, Naffiza and Malik, clearly they'd overheard our conversation. A silence descended on us for moments as we all stuggled with our thoughts -

A torch-light shimmered nearby, a soldier poked his head through the entering of the cove , we flattened ourselves next to the wall, suddenly the torch dimmed so he could hardly see anything. Alhamdulilah! 

He cursed under his breath and was gone. I breathed a sigh of relief then reminded myself he could be back . . . It wasn't safe here.

" What's going on? " Malik wailed.

I walked my way to his voice, accidentally stepping on Naffiza in my hurry.

 I kissed the top of his head and hugged him tight, feeling his soft black hair and hugged him once more. I was going to miss him, who knows if that was the last time I'd see him?

Grief crashed upon me as I remembered Yasmine, the worry I'd locked away in my mind for a few minutes, but I could never lock it away properly.

This was loosing Yasmine all over again. 

Malik was the little kid I'd loved and taken care of for years. 

Uncle Habib tried protesting against what was about to happen," This isn't possible. I will be with my family, if I die or not - "

" Do you want your entire family dying? " Basma said sharply, I could almost picture her glaring at him but of course I couldn't see a thing.

Uncle Habib fell silent.

Auntie Nahiza squeaked," Sticking together is the best way to survive . . . "

" Why Sara? Why? " Uncle Habib said in a deadly quiet voice.

Basma must have told him. I thought of the one thought I dreaded most, the one thought that made me close to explode.

It was my fault.

And what made this thought so painful was because it was one hundred percent true.

" You ruined everything! It's truly all your fault! " He whispered angrily.

" Papa," Naffiza whispered gently," Now isn't the time, it's not her fault. "

I could still hear screaming, crying, death. All of them dying because of one stupid greedy girl. 

I felt horrified, disgusted that so many lives were down to my greediness, Yasmine being whisked off and our family so close to being thrown into pieces, all because of me.

Yaccoub said loudly, " Mister Habib . . . I think it's time to go. "

Yaccoub was a kind, calm man who always settled arguments, who always stayed quiet and calm and soothed people that calm, slow way of his.

It didn't work this time.

Basma said, panicked," That man will be back, hurry! "

She quickly began hugging Malik, then Auntie Nahiza, saying sad farewells, hinting that we should too.

I could hear Malik whining and crying to his father.

Naffiza grabbed my hand," I love you. You're like my little sister. " She said in a croaky, teary voice.

" It's too hard to say goodbye, " she cried. 

" I love you too, " I mumbled quietly, she kissed my cheek and hugged me.

None of us could let go.

Yaccoub forced us apart a few moments later.

We tackled him but he eased us apart.

" Alahafiz Yaccoub, " I whispered to the quiet man next to me. 

He gave me a quick hug," I doubt you can get away from me for more than a day. Inshallah. "

It was his way of saying we'd meet again.

All around me the others were half-crying goodbyes.

Uncle Habib grabbed me from behind, squealing I giggled half-heartedly.

" Whatever you do, you're my lovely little girl, " he stammered," And we'll meet again, inshallah. "

" We'll meet again, " I said loudly hoping if I said it loud enough it would come true, " Inshallah, " I added.

Tears were leaking down my cheeks. Everyone I loved.

Auntie Nahiza couldn't do anything but cry helplessly, muttering incoherent words, until, " Mehri behti, " she whispered in Urdu, the language from her home country.

It meant, my daughter.

One of the few Urdu words I knew. 

I cried into her shoulder. She was the mother mine couldn't be. 

" We have to go, " gulped Basma, half-crying.

It was all a rush from then on there. Basma stopped anymore goodbyes and tried to hush all our tears.

Basma said something to Yaccoub, Malik and Naffiza. I heard shuffles and they were gone, saying alahafiz and prayers -

A minute or two later Basma squeaked," Mrs Nahiza, Mr Habib? "

" I l-love you, " I heard Auntie Nahiza mutter, I never had time to return the three words. 

I could feel the air ripple as they made sharp movements.

Tears blinded my thoughts.

" I'm so sorry, " I heard Basma say, I clutched her hand, crying with all my might.

Basma gently tugged us forward.

I tried ignoring the thoughts raging in my head, It's all your fault your entire family could be dead and battled them with Bismillahs.

I took a deep breath and drew myself up. I had to get through to the outside. My eyes went blurry at the sight of all the blinding white lights in the tunnel, revealing many soldiers and bodies on the floor . . .

All my fault.

Suddenly I wanted to die, to rush right over and offer myself. But I was too weak to do anything. I was so much a coward I shut my eyes before we began and let Basma navigate.

BANG!

It was too close for comfort, I even felt something whipping through the air inches from my shoulder.

I quickly opened my eyes and glanced at the floor.

What I saw made me shut my eyes just as quickly as I opened them. 

Dead bodies were piled on the floor, many of them familiar. However hard I tried I couldn't get the ghastly image out of my mind.

And that combined with the knowledge I was the one who caused all this . . .

It was enough to block out all the BANGS and screams, the yells of desperate people trying to escape. It was enough to block out the blinding pain in my leg.

I relished the feeling of blood trickling down my leg, of the pain that left me almost unable to walk.

Only then did I open my eyes.

We were on the third step of an endless, rusty staircase, a few of the steps already broken. 

Basma swore at the sight of my leg.

When I looked down, the walls around me started to turn wobbly, the staircase began to do loop-the-loops, because all the blood and the ample flesh that was torn open was enough to make anyone pass out.

I wasn't anyone, I tried whispering. I wasn't going to leave Basma with a useless lump to carry -

I was in a dark place, everywhere was pitch-black and empty-

A dark figure in black stared at me in hatred, " You are responsible for all that is to come. "

The figure vanished and the floor turned into dead bodies. 

They started to stand up, Yasmine stared at me in rage. Then Mr Hussein helped Yaccoub and Naffiza up. 

Little Malik started running towards me, I opened my arms wide for the hug -

He jumped on me, tearing my hair apart.

I screamed in anguish and looked at all the familiar faces, glaring at me. My entire family, Mum, Dad, Basma, Nadia, Yasmine . . . Countless faces.

I pulled Malik off me and he fell into the crowd.

After that they all moved as one, walking closer and closer . . .

I desperately chanted duas. They were still there, leering at me and threatening to come closer, to attack me. 

I started screaming the duas, all my hope resting on them -

Like I promised, Doom and Disaster. Doom and Disaster! 

What do you think of this nightmare!?!