Noah.

Rover Baxton, I've spent days searching for the name on the internet. Still nothing. Although, at one point I came across a Roller Baxton who's in his fifties and lives in Russia.

He can't be gone. I know it. 

I'm on my phone constantly and I can see the nurses eyeing me every time they come to check on me, so I try to hide it from them, shoving it under my blankets or pillows. I wonder if they told my parents? They've finally gone back to work knowing that I'm okay, at least they think I am.

And school... They pulled me out. They didn't believe that I would ever wake up and if I did that I wouldn't be me. It feels like they gave up on me. Part of me also feels like I've given up. What use would that stupid degree be to me anyway? What can I possibly do with my life now? I know they expect me to be so much more than I was before, I'm their miracle. I haven't mutated into having some sort of superpower, I've just become the girl who was in a coma for two months.

"Hello, hello?" my sister walks in. "I went shopping and I got you some makeup."

Of course, makeup.

"Thanks," I give her a smile.

It's nice to know she wants me to be happy, but she clearly is only bringing me things that she likes. The effort is there.

Diana sits firmly on my bed with her shopping bag full of lipsticks and eyeshadows.

"I say we give you a makeover," she says.

I look at her questionably, "Why?"

"You need a fresh start," she tells me as she searches the bag. "When you get out of here, you'll be a completely new person. Boys will be dropping on their knees in front of you."

I don't want them to, but maybe she's right. Maybe I will be who they want me to be and they wouldn't have to worry about me trying to find Rover. 

Part of me expects them to finally tell me that they've been playing a game with me all this time, yet it doesn't explain the other missing pieces. He wouldn't just delete his social media, he's one of the biggest stars in the world. At least he is in mine.

"You've got to try this colour on!" she pops the lid of the lipstick.

It's this beautiful neutral purple, something that I would have never chosen for myself, but then again, I'm not bold like she is.

I'm the quiet one. I'm the one who doesn't party. I'm the one who's still a vir- 

I'm not a virgin.

What we had was real. It felt more than real. I can't live without it.

"I saw that kid from your class in high school yesterday," she says.

"Which one?" I ask knowing what her answer will be.

"I don't know," she shrugs as she puts the lipstick on my lips, "the one with blond hair."

"Diana," I stare at her, "I went to school with hundreds of blond-haired boys."

"Well," she tries to weave her way out, "I was just trying to make conversation."

"Well," I imitate her, "you can tell me where Rover is."

She drops the makeup on her lap, "I told you, I don't know who you are talking about."

"Diana please," I beg. "You're all starting to scare me."

She tries to cup my cheek comfortably, "You must have dreamt this guy up, whoever he is."

I can't seem to get anywhere with them anymore, this hospital is keeping me stuck with having to ask everyone else about the outside world.

"He's everything to me," I tell her.

"Even over your family?" she questions.

I think deep down I know my answer, but I can't say it.

"Maybe I shouldn't have come," she says, slowly putting her things away and getting up.

"No," I try to stop her, "I won't talk about it again."

She keeps going but turns back at the door.

"You know I love you right?" she speaks.

I give her a reassuring nod, "Of course."

"You need help, Noah."

"Wait!" I try to stop her again. "Could you bring me one of my sketch pads next time you come?"

"Sure," she says before she leaves.

My life is utterly falling apart. I'm not coping.

Who in their right mind would ever play with someone like that? They took him away from me or did they just make him up...

I've never really believed in a higher power, but how else can I explain this? How else is there a way for me to get answers?

He's real, I know he is! And I will keep saying it until I see him again.

I'm snapped back when a nurse opens the door.

"How are you doing?" she asks.

"Good," I lie, just wanting to fall into oblivion.

"We just wanted to let you know that Dr. Rother won't be in today," she says.

"Who?" I have never heard the name.

"Your doctor," she repeats.

I know something isn't right in this world, but I can't let them think I'm going crazy. It feels like someone is watching.

"Oh, yeah," I perk up. "No problem, I'll see them tomorrow, right?"

"He should be here by eight tomorrow morning," she confirms. 

"Sounds good," I say before changing the subject. "Do you have a pen and paper?"

"I've got a permanent marker," she offers.

"That's fine," I thank her gratefully.

She rips a few blank pages from the notebook she's carrying and hands me the marker.

I couldn't wait for Diana to reappear again, I needed to think of something now and I needed to keep track of it.

"I'll be back in a bit, okay?" the nurse says as she too leaves my room.

"Thanks," I reply.

And with being alone, I can finally think of how to get myself out of this place. I'm the only real thing here and I think everyone else knows it. They're all just copies of the people I know and if Rover isn't here then this can't be reality.