"Love is passion, obsession, someone you can't live without. If you don't start with that, what are you going to end up with?" - Meet Joe black

  He left shortly after that, and I was left with my thoughts. Could I try to let my feelings grow for him, knowing damn well I would  just hurt him in the long run? Or would I die without ever experiencing his love, and without ever showing that I loved him back?

That was the thing about life, it was all part of a bigger picture. Anything and everything you did had an impact. It either impacted one person, and that one person impacted everyone; or your one action impacted everyone.

Would our possible love story impact millions, or would me dying impact Derek enough and make him impact millions?

With that thought, I drift off to sleep. Letting the dreams twirl inside my mind of what could be, and what could've been.
**
"Here, you're all set."

It was mandatory for me to be wheeled out of the hospital even though I was perfectly capable of walking on my own. Autumn, Haden, Derek, my parents,  and the guy who is supposed to be my brother all stood there.

I wasn't used to having a whole comittee escort me everywhere and be at my beckon call. My mom ignored my dad, and I was glad she did. She kept on a smile for me, that beautiful smile she always held even when things weren't worthy of it.

"I've got her," Derek mumbles. It's so evident he's tired. His eyes are red and his shirt is all crinkled. His voice holds that raspiness of when you've just woken up.

How is it possible to be attractive when you've been without sleep for days? Hell, if I don't get at least six hour of sleep I end up looking like ratatouille.

My parents and brother go ahead, looking like they're about to have a very awkward conversation. God, my poor mother. Why do the good people seem to suffer the most in life?

Derek grabs the handle of my wheel chair and begins pushing me slowly, Haden and Autumn falling into step right behind me. The quietness is awkward until they all start rushing to talk.

"I'm so sorry, you're my best friend and I should've never even thought Derek was telling the truth, he's an idiot and I know that now-"

"Hey-" Derek tried to interrupt, his eyebrows furrowed together.

"- and I just feel so completely guilty about everything that's happened. It's all my fault, isn't it? I'm so sorry!" Autumn rambles, tears streaming down her face.

She was overly sensitive at times, but at least I knew she really cared.

"And I'm sorry for being dick. I'm not going to start crying like Autumn, but I am sorry for being a dick," Derek shrugs nonchalantly.

"And I'm not sorry at all because I did nothing wrong. Sucks you nearly cracked your fucking head open, though. You've always been so clumsy," Haden smirks at me while I swing  at him, my own lousy grin etched onto my face.

That stupid boy hasn't changed and God, I hope he never did.

"It's fine, guys. I'm fine. There's nothing wrong with me."

I answer sheepishly, blushing from all the attention. I've went from years of not having any friends to going back to having the three greatest friends in the world. They were starting to baby me like they did before, and I couldn't tell if I loved it or hated it. Maybe it was a solid mixture of both.

"We know," Derek mumbles and my heart rate accelerates again.

The way the way they all look down at me in pity has me squirming in my seat and turning unbelievably hot.

"You know what?" I swallow.

Haden's shooting daggers at me and starts coughing rapidly while Autumn starts patting his back profusely. This only increases my fears about what the hell they know. Their delayed response only makes me feel even more queasy.

Oh God, don't tell me I'm going to faint again because of this.

"That you probably hate us now. We're the worst friends ever," Autumn finally sighs and I let out my own sigh of relief.

"Thank God, I thou-"

"Hey guys, let's speed this up. Maylina made pound cake and I'm just dying to have some," Haden glares at me and I blush red when I once again realize he was saving my ass.

A pattern was starting to be formed here. Him saving my ass when I wasn't deserving of it. I really needed to learn how to control my word vomit because this was seriously getting out of hand.

They seem to catch on and get me to the car. My brother stands there awkwardly, so Haden goes over to him in an attempt to start being funny.

Maybe I was being unfair to him. It wasn't like he chose to be in this predicament and he was clearly trying to be a good sibling to me. I shouldn't hate him for the sins of our father.

We got to my house rather quickly and all ate and hung out for a bit. Autumn and Haden seemed to have made up by the way she was sitting on his lap and giggling every five seconds at whatever stupid thing he said.

I watched them with a smile on my face, admiring the obvious love they had for each other in their awkward relationship. Maybe titles didn't mean shit to them, and it worked for them. Who was anyone else to judge?

I turned my head to look at Derek and found him once again already looking at me. He turned away in a blush, clearing his throat, and I couldn't help but smirk.

The kid was so cute when he got shy.

When Autumn and Haden left, Derek and I decided it was time to finish our project once and for all.

We were going to start presenting soon and we still had a few things left to cover. We sat criss crossed on my bed with Riley laying lazily between us.

1. What is one thing you like about your partner after getting to know them?

2. Is your partner someone you could trust?

3. Would you be friends with your partner outside of this project?

4. Did you work well with your partner?

5. Could you fall in love with someone like you partner?

I stare awkwardly at the questions and look up to see Derek already blushing. I was beginning to think Mrs. Kentwood was attempting to be a match maker with some of these questions.

Derek starts writing immediately, the tips of his ears still red and his arm blocking my prying eyes from seeing his paper so I glance down at my own.

I answer truthfully and awkwardly, coughing through the tension that would be greatly felt in the room.

I don't know how he could answer his questions so easily. I had to really think about mine and put thought so much into it, it was beginning to give me a migraine. Maybe that's what separated us from each other. It was as if roles had sort of reversed. I used to be the dreamer of the two, the one reaching for the stars. Derek was always the realist, the how are we going to get there kind of guy. But roles were switching, and I didn't know how much longer I could hold on to this.

Once I answer my questions, I glance up at him to see him writing. I felt the worry start to set in the pit of my stomach. Did his answers really take that much writing? Was I really that much of a bitch?

His pencil finally stops, and he shifts back so that my eyes can fall onto the final question and answer on his paper.

5. Could you fall in love with someone like your partner?
I already have.
******************************************

Hey guys your fave mediocre annoying writer is back! How are you all?

I took a break because finals started to kick my ass but now it's been summer for two weeks and I've had time to recover myself from that traumatic experience.

Anyways, this book will be finishing soon and I have another one coming out TOMORROW! Can't wait for that one, it's going to be a long book and a wild ride.

Have a great rest of the week everyone!