I was originally going to put this one-shot under my one shot book, but...

I feel the need to warn you guys.

This oneshot will contain things so fucking sad, that you might honestly never be the same again if you read it. There will be things that will make you uncomfortable, I almost guarantee it, and things that might make you see me a little differently than you're used to seeing me.

I know that I've made references to many of you about my depression, and my troubled youth, but this one-shot will contain painful, and quite possibly graphic detail.

Possibly, but not necessarily probably.

The truth is that I'm struggling with a sudden depression streak, and felt the need to get this story off my chest. I'll probably be balling my eyes out the whole time while writing it, and I apologize in advance for any tears that I may or may not cause you.

You'll probably want to have some tissues ready just in case.

This book contains mentions of the abuse that I suffered as a kid. From neglect, to physical abuse and even rape. If these are things that you cannot handle, I suggest you turn back now.

Shit's about to get dark.

I hope that by getting this story off my chest, maybe I can focus on some of my other works. Maybe I can push away the feeling of despair and hopelessness, helplessness even, that I am wrestling with. I hope that this will be therapeutic for me, in short.

I don't release this for attention, and I certainly don't desire anyone's pity. There is a difference, between sympathy and pity. But to be honest, I've never really clamored for either.

Even my husband, though he knows the basics, doesn't know half of the things that will be in this story. I don't talk about it much and bury it away so that it doesn't contaminate the people around me. The ones I love so much.

But here I am, laying it all bare.

I don't really expect that very many people will read this even, but I still don't know what to say.

Enjoy?

Please don't cry?

Neither statements really fit.

I'm delving into memories that are so painful to me that I'm crying even now, talking about things that confuse even my emotions. I can't even really describe how I should feel as a normal human being half the time.

So, I'll just write.

And hope that it's worth something, somehow.

Sincerely,
Nim