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🔥Always Been You - Chris Grey

*****

[Qimir's POV]

Qimir went to the starship which was inconspicuously parked at a field a little further away from the inn. It was a rather rural planet so he didn't really have to worry about anyone recognizing them here. But still, it didn't hurt to take some precautionary steps.

He climbed into the cockpit to activate his comlink, establishing connection with his trusted informant, Khel, whom he had met with at Alderaan. Qimir had given him a few vials of achtian herbs and concentrated chemicals in exchange for investigating about a "certain holocron" that was transported at Collossus.

What he liked about Khel was that he was purely business; he never asked any unnecessary questions regardless of how odd the task was. Qimir treated him the same as well, not bothering to ask where he needed the herbs and chemicals for. He could only guess that those were ingredients for an incurable poison, but that was none of his business and he didn't bother to ask.

Their trust in each other would last as long as both of them followed this unspoken rule.

Despite not knowing much about each other, their acquaintanceship had actually lasted for years already ever since they crossed paths during one of Qimir's gunrunning at a mid rim planet. And to be honest, Qimir hoped that it would go on because he was not one to trust people to this extent, and it would be a waste to lose Khel as he was a rather good informant.

The comlink finally beeped, indicating that a connection has been established.

"Qimir," his voice crackled through the comlink.

"Khel," he greeted back.

"Your suspicion was true. There was indeed a sith holocron that had been transported to Collossus." Qimir remained silent as he already knew that part. "It was dug out from an old crystal mine from Daar'ak by some miners. There were existing rumors that the mine used to be an ancient sith temple, and their discovery only confirmed it."

"Who took it?"

"The locals said they contacted the Jedi because they didn't know what to do with it, but instead it was picked up by anonymous pilots. They presented an authorization seal from the Jedi High Council so the locals still handed it over."

Qimir's brows furrowed at that. It confirmed his suspicion that it was the Jedi that wanted that holocron, but what he didn't expect was the fact that it was someone from the Jedi Council.

"It did reach Collossus, but that's the last info I could get. Either everyone is tight lipped about it or they really don't have any idea. Oh, and speaking of that place..." Khel suddenly added. "Have you heard about what happened at Collossus?"

Qimir thought for a moment if he should answer honestly. "Yes, about the child syndicate."

"The Jedi are trying to hide it, but there's rumors spreading that it was the doing of a Jedi as well. They found lightsaber marks on the building. Based on the brutal killing, most probably a gray Jedi. Or... something else."

"Perhaps," Qimir concurred, allowing him to believe this theory. "Thank you, Khel." Qimir said, indicating that it was all he needed to know.

"You're welcome. It's good doing business with you, Qimir." Khel said before disconnecting.

Qimir left the ship and started heading back to the inn, his head swirling with theories. The fact that a mere ship-for-hire had access to an authorization seal from the Jedi High Council was already suspicious. It was nearly impossible to forge one, and only a council member was authorized to issue one.

However, issuing one did not need the concurrence of other members, so it would have been easy for one to abuse that authority and covertly set things into motion.

So only two questions remained.

Who among them wanted this holocron?
What did they want to do with it?

As Qimir stepped into the humble inn, he intended to go straight to the room. However he halted in his steps as he saw an awfully familiar figure huddled over the tavern bar.

It was Eli.

He came closer and instantly smelled the strong scent of alcohol, and worry washed over him as he saw a halfway consumed bottle of Dorian Quill right beside her. It was a pretty strong liquor, so he immediately understood just how wasted Eli must be.

"Eli, what are you doing?" He reprimanded as he grabbed her shoulder to look at her. Her head swayed as she looked up at him, her eyes hazy and cheeks flushed red.

"Qimiiiiiiir," she beamed in delight, her voice higher than usual. His heart literally fluttered at the sight, as it was the first time he had seen her smile while saying his name.

"I'm celebrating my life," she slurred. "I thought I'd die in Collossus but look at me. Still aliiiiiiive!"

Sha swayed her hand in the air in a 'tada' motion, successfully grabbing the attention of everyone else in the room.

"Okay, we have to go." Qimir murmured as he hooked her arm over his shoulder, forcing her to stand up.

"Wait wait wait I'm not done yet!" She attempted to grab the bottle to take another swig, but he was quick to shove it away from her. She slapped his hand in irritation.

"You're drunk," he said bluntly.

"I'm not!"

Qimir just sighed, finding it useless to argue with a drunk person. He tossed fifteen credits onto the bartender for the drink and for the trouble, flashing him an embarrassed smile.

He started to lead them back to their room, his hand locked on her waist to keep her from toppling over. She could barely stand on her own.

"You know Qimir, I'm lucky I met you." She blabbered as they walked. "Without you I'm probably dead by now. The hutts probably have skinned me alive and made me into a suit."

She giggled at the wild thought, while Qimir just stared at her. Although he was mostly worried by her current state, he still couldn't deny that he felt fascinated by this version of her. She was lighthearted and bubbly, a stark contrast to her usual gloomy and irritable self. He would have never guessed that she had this side of her, and it made his heart feel some type of way.

Her smile was mesmerizing.

"Or I would've probably died at Olega. Or maybe fell off a cliff. I should be dead by now, but you were there every time." She mused. "Oh what would I do without you?"

She sighed as she patted him on the chest. At this point they have reached their door. As they entered, Qimir motioned to guide Eli onto the bed, but she suddenly turned around so she had him backed up against the door. She stepped closer to him, her hands landing on his chest as she looked up at him with hazy eyes.

Qimir just blinked at her, shocked by her bold actions.

"Have I told you my own mother threw me away?" She smiled, but the tears forming in her eyes betrayed her. He felt a sting in his own chest as he recognized her deep-rooted pain. "They said she just threw me away like trash. And now, you're throwing me away too."

He sighed. "Eli, it's not like that---"

"What's the sense of being alive if nobody wants me?" Her smile started to falter, her voice softening to a whisper. "I have nowhere else to go.... I have no one else but you..."

She whispered, tears now dripping down her cheeks. Her glassy eyes bore through him, pleading.

"I didn't mean it like that." He answered softly, his hand lifting to gently brush away her tears. But they just kept flowing.

"So why are you pushing me away?"

Her voice broke. Qimir pursed his lips, not knowing how to respond to that. He didn't realize that his words would affect her this much.

"Is it because I'm not her? I'm not Elysia?"

He froze at her words.

"Would you have done all these things for me if I didn't remind you of her?" Her voice was pained. Qimir realized that he was seeing her in her most vulnerable state. She was letting him see how truly hurt she was. He hadn't realized that she was so deeply bothered by that fact.

"I would have." He answered honestly.

Sure, he had taken notice of Eli because she looked exactly like Elysia, and they did have undeniable similarities. But the more that he knew her, the more that he realized their differences, and that Eli was her own person.

Qimir had already thought about it. If they had met at a different circumstance, he still would have been drawn to Eli. Her mysteriousness, persistence, and tenacity would have made him fall for her regardless.

"Liar," she whispered, a pained smile etched on her lips.

"I don't know how else to convince you." He whispered back, desperation now straining his voice as well.

The irony of their situation frustrated him. The fact that all of this started because of his longing for Elysia, yet, it was the same longing that kept their feelings for each other at bay. It made things complicated between them.

"Then, can you love me even if I'm not her?" Qimir's eyes widened. He stared into Eli's eyes, and they were pure and honest. Was she confessing her feelings? Was she really asking him to love her?

"Please?" she pleaded, barely a whisper, her intoxicating breath fanning across his lips. Her hand reached out to gently cradle his face, her ice cold fingertips sending sparks of electricity across his warm skin. Her alluring gaze was fixated on his lips, and she started to tiptoe, slowly bringing their faces dangerously close.

"Eli..." he could only whisper, but he found that he did not have the strength to push her away. In fact, he anticipated her lips against his.

Qimir's eyes fluttered close as he felt her lips, her kiss light as a feather. Careful, as if testing the waters. It lingered for a moment until she slightly pulled away, a small gasp escaping her lips as if that small contact exhilerated her.

Qimir couldn't help but smile as he felt her heart loudly thumping against his chest. It was apparent that this was her first kiss.

His hand moved to cradle the back of her neck and took charge of the kiss, making sure to be gentle, but more demanding. His other arm wrapped around her waist to pull her flush against his body.

He didn't know how many times he'd dreamt about kissing these lips, so he sure as hell wasn't going to waste this moment.

Eli was quick to follow with the movements of their lips, her hand moving to tug at the back of his hair, demanding more. At one point she had to gasp for air, but Qimir took this as a chance to deepen the kiss. She slightly jumped at the feeling of his tongue invading hers, but she was quick to welcome it.

She tasted like alcohol. The more he tasted her, the more he seemed to get intoxicated. And it was thinning the only few remaining strands of self control Qimir had left.

He felt Eli take a few step backwards, tugging him along with her. Eventually, her legs hit the bed and caused her to lose balance, Qimir landing right on top of her.

At the sight of her neck, Qimir found another target and started planting kisses along her neck and jawline. Her soft satisfied moans only encouraged him, and the way her fingertips ran through his hair further intensified his desire.

He recaptured her mouth in his, the kiss more aggressive, more wanton, reflecting how much he thirsted for her.

He wanted her to know with his every touch that he was indeed, telling the truth. That he cared for her. That he wanted her to stay. It was his way of begging her. He wanted her for who she was, not for who he wanted her to be.

She didn't have to ask.

He already loved her.

He felt Eli's fingers fumble for the string of his sleeves, and she eventually undid it with one pull. She proceeded to sensually slide her hands over his shoulders, taking his top off with them. Her gaze followed her fingers as she traced his muscles, down the valley of his chest, and his abs.

The lack of clothes was supposed to make him feel cold, yet the way she touched him only made him more feverish.

Eli lifted herself from the bed and pulled Qimir by the neck to meet her halfway. She started trailing kisses down his jaw, his neck, his adams apple and his collar bone.

A low growl formed in Qimir's throat as her every kiss intensified his desire for her. He wanted to unleash himself and take her then and there.

But he had to hold back.

"Eli, wait..." he breathed out as he felt her hands starting to untie his pants. She wasn't listening and even almost succeeded, until he stopped her hands himself. "No, I can't do it with you like this..."

"But I want more... I want all of you..." she whimpered, her half lidded eyes begging. Qimir had to bite his lip, almost unable to resist her.

"Not now. Not when you're not sober." He cradled her face to give her a soft kiss, but she bit his lip, as if a silent protest at his interruption.

"When I do it with you, I want you fully sober. I want to make sure you'll feel everything." He whispered lowly against her lips. "I don't want it to be something you'll regret tomorrow."

Eli sighed in resignation, her hand dropping to her sides. Qimir just smiled as he repositioned themselves on the bed so they were lying together. Eli laid her head on his chest, her fingers tracing small circles on his shoulder.

Qimir wasn't even sure if she's going to remember everything that just happened. Either way, this was a memory he ought to treasure for himself.

As the heat of the moment slowly dissipated and formed into a serene calm between them, Eli's hands stopped moving and her breathing evened out. Qimir glanced down to see her already asleep.

He smiled and kissed her forehead.

"Goodnight, Eli."

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[A/N]:

Writing this while listening to Chris Grey got me feelin some type of way 🥵