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» ᴍ. ᴛᴡᴀɪɴ

ᴛʜᴇᴍᴇ: humor; songfic
» based on m. martinez's k-12 album

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"I wonder why our schoolbus is shaped like a whale and is colored grey instead of a normal yellow bus."

"Oh shut up, Mark. It's too early for that shit."

"What's wrong with it? I'm just preparing you for the weirdness that's about to come." A roll of green eyes is what I received in return. But seriously, our academy is one hell of a madhouse. Everything's outlandish: the hideous location at the end of a dangerous cliff, the building structure that's all over the place, the crazy school staffs, and even the students, which unfortunately includes myself. You might be wondering why I still decided to enroll despite that. Well, let's just say that I wasn't born normal.

Speaking of the whale bus, it finally appeared around a corner after ten minutes of waiting. The moment the automatic doors opened, the two of us immediately filed in. Just when we were about to place our stuffs on the top compartment, someone bumped to my redhead of a friend, causing the two of us to stumble on the floor. Uh oh. I can already feel her fury rising.

Standing up, I placed myself between her and our blonde classmate to try to stop whatever she's about to do, but I realized too late that she already had her fist ready to crack someone's nose. Luckily, it collided with my cheek, saving my beautiful nose from detaching off my face. Bad news: it still hurt a lot.

"Oh shit. Sorry." I breathed in, counted to five, then sat on a random seat without a single word. The students remaining standing in the aisle took it as a sign to find their respective places and forget what happened.

Good Lord, that just depleted my formerly good mood. I know it's kind of my fault for being slow, but she really needs to work on her temper. That's not the first time that she punched me, but this one's the first accidental hit because of her poor anger management.

As the vehicle started moving, a crumpled piece of paper landed on my lap. One does not need the skills of a detective to deduce that it is an apology note. I ignored it. I'm not in the mood to talk to her right now.

Turning to my left, I was met with the sight of someone reading a book despite his eyes being covered by raven hair. How he was able to manage that is a mystery. Having nothing to do, I decided to start a conversation. "Don't you get dizzy reading that on a moving vehicle? And isn't your hair bothering you?"

"I'm actually just analyzing the map I made and my hair feels just fine. I'm not really comfortable if my face is exposed." He put his book down, showing interest in the small talk. Looks like I found another one who'll willingly listen to my nonesense.

"My friends are weird, you're weird, Mr. Melville's mustache is weird, this bus is weird. Even if I'm already three years in this institution, I still find everything weird."

"You're a peculiar one yourself."

"How so? My pranks are mediocre compared to everyone else's unique traits."

"Uh... I kinda witnessed you talking to yourself using two different personas in the restroom once."

"I- Okay, you got me there. In my defense, I can actually see two floating spirits that resembles myself."

The bus came to a halt in front of what seemed like a church. I think I know who's going to enter those doors next. Of course, I was right. The wannabe pastor was in his usual "holy" attire, reading Jonah and the Big Fish's story, out of all the bible stories, out loud. I don't know if he's trying to joke around or that's just a mere coincidence, but that perfectly describes the absurdity of our situation. Imagine having to stay inside a whale just to go to school.

The next person showed up with a grand entrance involving sparkling clothes and accessories shortly after the pastor finished the whole story. By that, I mean an excruciatingly long time. However, the newcomer's glam was short-lived when a certain obstacle caused him to slip and lurch forward, spilling tons of dollars from his case. Guess what that obstacle in question is. That's right, a fucking octopus of all things.

"Okay, whose octopus is this," our resident rich kid asked, not even fazed by his tragic entrance. A soft monotonous voice replied from the back. "So that's where my lunch went." Ah, I should've known.

The next twenty minutes of the ride was relatively quiet. Unlike your usual rowdy schoolbus, only murmers and whispers will be heard inside the moving vehicle. That was until John Steinbeck broke the peaceful atmosphere.

"If I were a plant, what species do you think will I be?" I took deep breaths while massaging my temple. I have never been so disappointed in my life. The urge to forget that we were associated in any way was phenomenal. "Cactus because you're a prick." That single statement from octopus guy sent everyone cackling. I- Mom, can I transfer out now? Never have I ever regretted my life decisions this badly.

Fucking finally, my one and only inspiration to keep going entered the out-of-this-world bus in the next stop. Wearing her usual gorgeous minty outfit, she stood out among others. An angelic light radiated around her slim figure as the wind lifted her hair ever-so-gently. She is definitely a goddess. Her radiant eyes locked gazes with mine and it felt like I was being transported into another dimension. Those magical orbs gave me a refreshing feeling, so bizarre and heaven-sent.

But unfortunately, all good things must eventually come to an end. A single shiny penny destroyed everything. "Francis-sama, don't!" The mentioned sparkling item happened to be between the maiden's feet and the bastard dived right into it without a care about the ruckus he caused. Guess what happened next. Yep, instead of the rich kid, it was my non-swollen cheek that received the impact of her palm. How lucky.

I was in tears, of course. I mean, who wouldn't? I was slapped because I just happened to be right behind the blond fucker and well, my school crush already was in a romantic relationship with none other than the priest, but at least she apologized (as if that's enough to take away my pain).

I sighed as I faced my panicking seatmate (I don't know why he's panicking, but mehh). With a serious tone and facial expression, I questioned him, "Poe, will you be my new best friend?"

"I- S-Sure, I guess..." And that was the start of an awesome friendship.

end.

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ᴘᴇɴɴᴇᴅ ʙʏ: Mei