'LENA' CREATED 'LENAS BACK BITCHES!!'

'LENA' ADDED ALL CONTACTS

LENA
HUMANITY ON
ASSEMBLE AVENGERS

KOL
wasn't that our groupchat thing?

LENA
SHUT UP KOL

REBEKAH
yes, shut up kol

BETHIE MY LOVE
i already knew this

WARREN
I WAS THE ONE WHO HAD TO DEAL WITH HER

GRACE
your now sitting in a hospital bed

LEELA
OMG?!
What did she do??

LENA
warrens dying

STE
THE HELL DID YOU DO?!

PERI
OMG
YOUR A MURDERER
SERENA WAS RIGHT

LENA
U TOLD SERENA

PERI
only the good parts...

LENA
WHICH ARE THE GOOD PARTS

HOPE
No one wondered but I just met Ethan in real life

ETHAN
we may or may not have chucked some things at Peri and Serena...

PERI
OMG THAT WAS U
YOU ALMOST TOOK MY HEAD OFF WITH THAT HYDDOFLASK

HOPE
U DESERVED IT BITCH

JAMES
this is too chaotic...

'JAMES' HAS LEFT 'LENAS BACK BITCHES!!'

STE
he's annoying ain't he?

SIENNA
your only saying that cause he's your ex

JOSIE
this is dramatic

JEN
tell me about it
Also I'm soooo high
I can like see this really chiselled god with this wolf and he's just petting it

BEN
Jen, your not high
I'm petting Jed

JEN
yeah that checks out
So how are the little dudes?

LIZZIE
i got my girlfriend back
AND I'm taller than u

PERI
OMG ETHAN
STAWP

HOPE
AINT NOTHING WORSE THAN A PICK ME BITCH

ETHAN
remind me again why she's still on here?

LENA
I'm not even sure...

PERI
i think it's good my murderous sister can now see I'm a good person
Cause I am
And besides
OW ETHAN
as I was saying... ugh
She's just like her murderous mother

LENA
MUM CAN YOU SLAP HER FOR ME

LEELA
NO

NORMA
YES

CAROLINE
MAYBE

LEELA
WAIT WHICH MOTHER

LIZZIE
MOM WTF

HAYLEY
you two are getting married at some point aren't you?

LIZZIE
i wasn't aware my life was planned out for me

LENA
i meant my mother, Norma, for clarification
And yes, I think the room is spinning

LIZZIE
SAMEEEEE

GRACE
Lena weren't we going to the jewlers later?

LENA
yea, to buy me a pretty necklace
Uhm... nothing else

NORMA
if u want one bad enough I can just steal one for you

LENA
no no
I'm good
I'll buy one
It's more ethical

LEELA
strange
HANG ON
ARE YOU GOING TOO YOU KNOW
POP THE QUESTION

LENA
WHAT QUESTION
WHAT JEWLERS
WHAT RING
AGHHHHHHHH
GRACEEEEEEEE
WHY WOULD U DO THIS

JOSIE
i think Lizzie just fainted...
Yup she's still breathing
Do vampires usually breathe?
I'm talking to myself

MERCEDES
love, you have lots of questions

SIENNA
why is Mercedes McQueen in here?

MERCEDES
hello to you too

HOPE
I like her
She's sassy

ETHAN
and terrifying... all McQueens are

GRACE
why are you even in Lena's contacts?

MERCEDES
why are you?

LEELA
i mean she has a point

STE
why don't we all just answer the questions nicely

MERCEDES
cause she used to be involved with Liam
She was at the devils dinner party

GRACE
mines the same reason

LIZZIE
who's Liam?

LENA
Graces very dead, very mental brother who I used to date
The one who called me babe 24/7

LIZZIE
ah

MERCEDES
that's all the confirmation she needs?

NORMA
Elizabeth and Lena are close

MERCEDES
the hell is Norma?
Sounds like someone who should be in an old persons home!

WARREN
Mercy, I'm going to warn you to shut up before it's too late

MERCEDES
Bog off, Warren!
I'll say what I want

WARREN
alright, well I wanted you

LENA
just for clarification, which I'm presuming would be the villages gossip, Norma is mine and Warrens mother

MERCEDES
YOU TWO?!
RELATED?!

SIENNA
I don't think anyone else saw it coming either

WARREN
says the most unpredictable person alive

HOPE
he's right, I've been here for literally a month and the shit I've heard is amazing!!
Honestly, the gossip is top tier
ALRIGHT IVE GOT TO GO AND MURDER PERI

PERI
SAYS THE EVIL MIKAELSON

ETHAN
ALRIGHT NOW WE ARE STARTING A FIGHT
BYE

KLAUS
I'm going to murder this Peri bitch for hurting my daughter

HAYLEY
WAIT UP

FREYA
dw I've got a spell to catch up

KOL
BEKAHHHH
WE ARE GOING TO GO WATCH A FIGHT RIGHT

ELIJAH
Rebekah and Marcel are currently doing unholy things

LENA
MUMMY DONT KNOW DADDYS GETTING HOT IN DA BODY SHOP DOIN SOMTHING UNHOLYYYYY
OOP
NO ONE GOT THAT

CAROLINE
yes I saw it on tiktok!

GREASY SAUSAGE
Lizzie, I know this is not the time but if only we could spend a lifetime of happiness together I would treat you like a princess. I bought you a ring, it's almost as perfect as you.

MERCEDES
I've dated some simps... but this guy really takes the cake!

SIENNA
he cares just a little too much

JOSIE
MG, if you came to hollyoaks I can help you move on. There's this great girl, Peri

PERI
how fit is he on a scale of one to ten?

NORMA
i thought the mikaelsons were after you?

PERI
i got away, thanks for the concern funeral hooker

NORMA
and I'm coming to kill you...

GREASY SAUSAGE
i only want Elizabeth Saltzman...

MERCEDES
take what you can get, if I were you I would've moved on from Lizzie she clearly loves Lena

STE
what she said

ETHAN
LMAO
IM GASPING
HOPE CHOKED ON HER BURGER

STE
I DIDNT MEANT IT LIKE THAT
THE LOT OF YOUS ARE IMMATURE

WARREN
felix read it off my phone and now is dying of laughter on the floor

SIENNA
Liberty accidentally saw it and is laughing

JED
Ben is laughing so hard
Also I think Jen is actually high...
She kept trying to let a mushroom and calling it a frog

JEN
THIS WEED IS DOPE MANNNNN

BEN
Fun, we will have to ensure my sister isn't hurt like last time

HOPE
THE HELL HAPPENED
OHHHH
YEAH THAT WAS HILARIOUS

LIZZIE
SHE ALMOST DIED HOPE

KLAUS
HOPE STOPPED FUNCTIONING
SHE IS LAUGHING AND MUTTERING THINGS
ETHAN IS ALSO DOING THE SAME
SOMEHOW HE KNOWS

HOPE
I DID A SPELL SO HE COULD SEE

ETHAN
SHE JUMPED OFF A BUILDING SCREAMING SHE WAS CLINT AKA HAWKEYE AND SAYING SHE COULD FLY

MERCEDES
what?

ETHAN
ALL HAWKEYE HAS IS A FLIMSY BOW AND ARROW LOL

LENA
I MISSED THAT
FUCK
ALSO I GTG
BYEEEEEE

(Authors note: yes, I forgot the names Lena gave them so I just used their actual ones lol)