Philadelphia, Pennsylvania: 2018

Time× 1:20 am

The drive home was filled with dead silence. They had left the hospital not too long ago and were now on their way home. Words jumbled up in Natalie's throat as she tried to find the courage to explain. Viktor clenched his phone tightly the entire drive, his hands as white as porcelain. He couldn't process what the fuck he found out in that hospital.

Natalie was pregnant.

She lost the baby.

He didn't know how to feel. He was just plain confused.

He had so many questions... and concerns but he didn't know what to do with them.

He felt numb.

Sacha cleared his throat, breaking the awkward silence that was making them all uncomfortable. "Would you like for me to stop anywhere, before reaching home, Viktor?" He asked, making a left turn. It was dark outside, the air cold.

"Just home," Viktor answered briefly, his eyes shut. The grip he had on his phone never gave out.

"Actually, Sacha could you stop at the nearest Walmart?" Natalie asked. "I want to get some yogurt."

Viktor's eyes snapped open. He turned his head in her direction, his face still expressionless. "The doctor told you to watch your sugar intake." He reminded her.

"I'm sure one yogurt wouldn't do any harm." She resorted.

"Well, I'm sure if it did you wouldn't tell me." He mumbled under his breath, closing his eyes again.

"What was that?" Natalie questioned, her eyebrows raised. Viktor didn't respond, he simply shut his eyes and tried to drown out the thoughts that were eating him alive. Natalie noticed he wasn't going to repeat himself, so she sighed. "You know what Sacha, never mind. Just take us straight home."

Sacha nodded, his eyes catching the frown on her face from the rearview mirror. The tension in the card was high enough to make him sweat. "Yes, Miss Natalie." He responded, heading in the direction of their apartment.

Natalie rolled the window down to let some air inside. She crossed her arms, and leaned back, watching as the world went by. Her phone pinged with messages from her father but she ignored them. She didn't feel like talking to him and honestly, she didn't know when she'd talk to him again. She needed time to comprehend what he had going on in his life. "I wish you were here mom." It rolled out her mouth in a hushed tone, no one heard her.

Natalie looked down at the white and yellow hospital band around her wrist. She felt a ball of fear settle in the pit of my stomach, thinking back to that day. Her eyes found their way back to Viktor. She knew he was pissed, she just wished he'd hear her out. "We're here," Sacha announced, unlocking the doors.

Viktor unbuckled his seatbelt before he opened the door, and walked out. He waited on the side of the car, not bothering to let out his hand for Natalie to take. She stepped out of the car and turned to wave at Sacha. "Thanks for the ride Sacha, it was nice meeting you."

"Same to you, Miss Natalie. Happy birthday by the way."

"Thanks." She mumbled, before shutting the door. She began making her way inside their designated complex, Viktor walked behind her making sure that there wasn't anyone being a creep. The paparazzi had been on their tale the whole ride home, and he didn't want to be caught in their grasp.

As they edged closer to their door, Natalie took her keys from her purse. She unlocked the door, stepping into their apartment, letting out a breath. "I talked to your dad," Viktor mumbled, locking the door. "I paid for his plane ticket, he should be here by the end of the week so you could talk to him."

Natalie's fist balled up as she turned around. "I don't want to speak with my dad Viktor!" She shouted angrily, her blood boiling. "I wanna speak to you! Stop shutting me out and give me a second to explain."

"Explain what exactly. Huh?" He shouted back at her. He was through with trying to keep himself calm. "Please Natalie, tell me what the fuck do you want to speak with me about!" He walked towards her. "You wanna tell me how sorry you are, that I had to find out from a doctor that... that you miscarried! Or better yet how you had a feeling you were pregnant and didn't even think to tell me?!" He shook his head, tears threatening to spill from his eyes. "We made a promise that we'd tell each other everything and you broke that promise. You carried that secret for so long without any regards as to how I'd feel."

Natalie scoffed, her throat closing up. "Are you kidding me right now?! The only reason why I hid that it happened, was because of you. Everything that I do is for you Viktor! My whole fucking life revolves around you! I miscarried, okay! And when it happened I wanted so badly to tell you but you never fucking answered! I sat in that hospital, and everything kept playing in my mind and I kept thinking about how I was going to tell you. But I didn't, because I knew you wouldn't be able to handle the news! And then... and then you came over to the house a couple of days later, talking about a fresh start and I decided it was best to forget about it because I didn't want to burden you!"

"You should've told me, Natalie!" He yelled this time. His chest rising and falling, his breathing erratic.

"If I had told you then, then what? Huh? What would've changed? What would you knowing do?" She asked.

Viktor gulped. His eyes closed, fist clenched. "I don't know what it would've changed Natalie, I'm not a fucking psychic! But what I do know is, we were going to have a child... and... and you got to fucking mourn Natalie, you mourned it. You got to hold it and bury it and I... I didn't get that. I didn't get a chance to do any of it." He said, his tears streaming down his face.

"You don't even want kids!" Natalie voiced.

Viktor chuckled darkly. "Yeah go ahead, use that as an excuse for not telling me!"

"Why are you making this all about you?!" She asked angrily. "Do you not have any regards as to how I felt when it happened, or what it felt like afterward!"

"Did you not just hear what you said?" Viktor said, pulling at his hair. "You're such a fucking hypocrite, Natalie!" He walked away from her, moving in the direction of the kitchen.

"Don't fucking walk away from me Viktor!" She screeched, trailing behind him. "How am I a hypocrite?!"

"Hypocrite. A person who pretends to have virtues or morals that he or she does not possess, especially a person whose actions belie stated beliefs." He looked back at her, his legs still striding. "You get it now Natalie!"

"No, I don't!"

He scoffed. "Of course you don't, because most hypocrites can't recognize that they're a hypocrite." Getting a glass cup from the dishwasher, he moved to the freezer to grab some ice. "You do the most backward shit and always expect me to forgive you for it. It's not fair!" He poured some purified water into his glass and lifted it to drink it.

Natalie lunged forward, swatting the cup out of his hand. The cup hit the stove and broke on impact, shards of glass landing everywhere. "You wanna know what's unfair Viktor? You are constantly deflecting! I get it you're scared and you're mad, I am too! But you don't see me starting arguments and shutting you out. You..." Natalie slammed her hand down on the counter. "You make it so hard to love you sometimes!"

The room grew silent. Viktor looked down at her, his mind fluttering with the several things he wanted to say, but couldn't because he mentally wasn't ready. So, he settled with the one thing that he didn't mean at all. "Well, maybe you shouldn't."

"What?"

He glared at her. "If it's so hard for you to love me... then maybe you should stop. Maybe you should leave and get as far away from me as possible Natalie! You know you want to. You know you've thought about it before!" He licked his lips. "Hell, I'll make it easier for you Natalie. I hate that I fucking love you! And if we're being honest, I despise you!"

The anger that was brewing in the pit of Natalie's chest had enough. She stepped closer to him, ignoring the glass she felt under her foot. Her hands landed on his chest and she pushed him. "Take that back." Viktor stayed quiet. She pushed him again, the glass in her feet drawing unwanted blood onto their kitchen floor. "Take it back!" And when he didn't say anything, her fist balled up. "Take it back, Viktor." She said pounding at his chest, each punch getting harder. "I said take it back. Take it fucking back." Tears clouded her vision. "You love me and, and, and you love that you love me!" She screamed at him, her punches getting softer. "Admit it. Fucking admit it!"

Viktor stayed still, letting her have at it. Her punches hurt, but they were bearable. He hurt her and although he didn't want to... he still ended up doing it. Viktor knew that it only took two words to make this whole fight end... but he couldn't bring himself to say it. As crazy as it sounded, he liked when they fought... he liked the reminder of how hectic his life was and how much of a fuck up he was. Sometimes those feelings, we're better than feeling loved.

Viktor zoned back in, grabbing Natalie's wrist. He looked down at them, loving the way her flesh felt against his. "I'm not doing this shit with you!" He said lowly, his expression cryptic.

But, Natalie could see through it all. She backed away slowly, not once caring about the pain she felt in the sole of her foot. The pain in her heart hurt more. "You're an asshole, you know that right? A big self-centered, asshole." She cried out loud, having enough. "You have a right to be mad, I'll give you that. And I'm sorry for not telling you, but the shit that you just said was out of line. You're hurt and you've got a right to be but don't take your anger out on me. I'm not a fucking punching bag Viktor, I'm your girlfriend." She backed away slowly, her body trembling. "You do all this because it's the same thing your mom used to do to Ivan. You had to witness the toxic shit that they did and now you project their toxic lifestyle onto our relationship. We are not your parents Viktor and I sure as hell am not your mother!" She told him. "It's okay to be scared, you don't have to be tough all the damn time and I don't expect you to. My only expectations of you Viktor are for you to be the best that you are and be here for me when I'm going through a hard time. I need you right now." She whispered the last part. "Just be here for me."

"Don't bring my fucking parents into this shit, Natalie!" He shouted, punching the nearest cabinet. "For fuck sakes! I— I can't do this shit! I can't be the person you want right now!"

"Because you're fucking stubborn! Honestly, fuck you!"

"No, fuck you, Natalie!" He shouted back. "Sometimes I wish I could erase you from my fucking mind!"

"Yeah, well sometimes I wished I never met you!" She cried. "I'm tired of downing my life just to baby your bitch ass. You and your fucking mommy and daddy issues are draining! Fucking draining I tell you!"

"At least I have both parents!" He strikes back.

"Fuck you!" Natalie screamed. "My mom died, that's why she isn't in my life. Your mom left you to get some random rich dude with a bigger dick. Me and you Viktor, are not in the same lane." She pulled out her phone. "You know what, let's find her number so we can both call and tell her how much of a screw up you are!"

Viktor snatched the phone from her and threw it against the wall. It shattered, glitching. "I fucking hate you!" He screamed, pulling at his hair. "You're a terrible fucking actress!"

Natalie chuckled, humorlessly. "Really? Seem to fool your ass every single time you're fucking me!" She said, heatedly. "You're fucking terrible at boxing!"

That seemed to do the job. Hurt flashed in Viktor's eyes, but instead of yelling back at her, he walked into their bedroom and slammed the door shut.

Natalie on the other hand, found herself limping to the sofa. She sat down and pressed a pillow into her mouth, before screaming into it. Tears dripped down her face, thinking about all the things they both said to each other. "Fuck." She cried, hiccuping. She didn't mean to say any of those things and the fact that she did, disgusted her. Looking down at the trail of blood leading up to the sofa, the sight caused her to grimace.

With the count of three, she stood on her own two feet. Catching sight of the ferret that watched her with wide eyes, she grabbed his cage and limped to the guest room. She flicked on the room light and shut her door. Placing the cage down on the ground, she opened the door wider for the ferret. "You can come out if you want." She whispered, her tears clouding her vision. "It's just the two of us."

Sitting down on the bed, she props her foot up and clenched down on her teeth as she pulled the shards of glass from her foot. She whimpered because of the pain, more blood oozing from her wound. Biting down on her lips, a low groan escaped her lips realizing that the first aid kit was in Viktor's room.

There was no way she was going in there right now, so with shaky breaths, she took the pillowcase and wrapped it around her foot awkwardly. "That should do it." Scooting herself up, she draped the thick dark blue comforters over her body and laid on her side. She reached for the lamp switch, shutting off the light. It didn't take long for her to start sobbing again.

Viktor glared at himself in the bathroom mirror, tears streaming down his face. "What the fuck is wrong with you!" He barked at his reflection. "I was doing good! I was doing good by her! I was happy! Why can't I stay happy?!" He paced around the bathroom, his tears staining his cheeks. "I'm a fucking screw up!"

Viktor felt like he was suffocating. He pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to cease the intense emotions he was feeling but that didn't work. "Fuck!" He punched the Sheetrock wall, only to fumble back in pain. There was no hole in the wall, even though he punched as hard as he could. Instead, his left fist took the majority of the damage. The flesh on his knuckles was scratched pretty deep. It bled of course and it was extremely painful when he tried to flex his hand.

"Damn it." His back hit the bathroom door and he slid down from there onto the ground. Viktor sighed, his puffy red eyes staring at the ceiling. "What the fuck did I do?" He mumbled to himself.

That question stayed on his mind, the entire night.

________

Neither Viktor or Natalie slept last night. They both tossed and turned in their separate beds, silently wishing that the other was there. Their thoughts kept them up. They didn't know what to do beyond this point. They'd argued before, but nothing like last night.

Viktor was the first to step out of his room. It was eight in the morning when he did, the quietness made him anxious as he walked into the kitchen. He swept the glass off the floor, then vacuumed to ensure it was all up. He played some rap music as he mopped Natalie's dry blood and when he was done, he made himself an omelet and ate it with one of the cookies made yesterday.

It was a bad compilation, but he didn't care at the moment.

Finishing washing the leftover dishes, he walked back to his room and packed himself some gym stuff. Sliding on his black Long Sleeve Compression Shirt, he threw on some matching gym shorts, despite the chilly weather. On his way out of his room, his eyes found themselves wandering to the guest bedroom. He hesitantly walked there, pressing his ears to the door to see if he'd hear anything.

It was silent.

He contemplated on going inside to check on her, but he didn't bulge. He didn't want to make things worse than they already were, so he backed away and finally left but not before locking the front door. Sacha was waiting for him by the time he got downstairs. "Where to Viktor?" Sacha asked, noticing the gauze wrapped around Viktor's hand.

He threw his gym bag in the Escalade and jumped in. "The gym." He instructed, pacing a stick of peppermint gum into his mouth. "Sacha, you've seen me fight before, right?"

Sacha nodded, putting the car in reverse, he backed out of the complex. "Yes, sir. I have. A lot of people talk about you in France."

Viktor looked down at his hand. "If you had to rate me on boxing, what would it be?"

"If we're talking about a scale from one to ten, then it'd be a ten sir." Said, Sacha. "You've got skills and you're very lethal in a match."

Viktor raised an eyebrow. "You're not just saying that because I'm your boss are you?"

Sacha chuckled, shaking his head. "No, sir. It is my true opinion."

"Thank you." He muttered before zoning back into his thoughts. He didn't say much after that, only requested that Sacha play some music. Viktor ran a hand through his hair and unlocked his phone. His eyes for a moment zoomed in on his screen saver, which happened to be an intimate photo of Natalie and him kissing in bed. The photo was taken in the early stages of their relationship.

Things were so much easier during those days.

Viktor bit the inside of his cheeks, before shooting his new assistant a text.

To: Jayda Thee Assistant

I need you to get a phone replacement for Natalie. She's on the same plan as me, so there shouldn't be any problems. Make sure it's the latest iPhone... get the gold one, she likes that one best. Get her some accessories to go with it... nothing too girly, it'll piss her off. Drop it off to her at the apartment and let me know when you're done."

——Delivered

He sent the message and closed his phone. His leg kept twitching, which only happened when he was over analyzing things. Sacha didn't get a chance to announce that they were at the gym, because Viktor had already unlocked the door and stepped out. "You can come in if you want. It feels... weird letting you stay in the car all the time." Sacha nodded, shutting off the car. He stepped out, following Viktor inside the gym.

The only people here were the workers. That made it easier for Viktor because he wasn't in the mood to be surrounded by prying eyes.

Walking into the empty treadmill area, he set his bag down and got on the treadmill closest to the end. Sacha didn't want to invade his space, so he sat far away, engaged in a phone call with his grandmother.

"What are you doing here, Viktor?" Ivan asked, walking towards him. "You just won your fight, you're supposed to be at home, relaxing and resting not doing cardio." He glared at him. "And so much for you answering my phone calls, yesterday. What the fuck even happened?"

Viktor inclined the machine to two percent, jogging at four mph. "Natalie had to go to the hospital. She had a seizure." He informed Ivan, keeping his head straight. "Turns out the week before we came into the states she had a miscarriage, which is the cause of a bunch of other stuff."

Ivan gave Viktor a puzzled expression. He was so caught off guard, he didn't know what to say. "Umm... is she okay?" He blinked. "Are you okay?"

Viktor shrugged and inclined some more. "Who the fuck knows Ivan." He muttered as sweat gleamed down his face. He glanced at his dad, nervously. "I think I need to work on my bolo punches. I don't feel like they're as good as they used to be."

Ivan raised an eyebrow at him. "What the fuck are you talking about? Since when did you start worrying about the things you needed to work on in a fight? That's my job and your bolo punches are fine, they're above average and if you work on them even more, you'll fuck up your arm. You're a good fighter and you fucking your arm up would ruin that, Viktor." He frowned. "What the fuck happened to your fist?"

Viktor bit the inside of his cheek. "How come you changed after Ludmilla left?" He asked randomly. "Like, I understand it must've been hard moving on after her... but... but why did you feel the need to take it out on me as a child? I needed a father growing up, but I never got that."

Ivan glared at him. "I've made mistakes, but one thing that remains the same is me being a good father." He resorted. "Do you not know how hard it is, being a single father? I did all that I could, to make sure you have the life you do now. I sacrificed a lot for you!"

"Is that what you tell yourself to justify the shit you put me through, Ivan? And what's with this 'I did this all for you' bullshit? You're the second person today that's brought it up and I can't remember ever telling anyone to do anything for me!" He said louder than intended. "You're my dad Ivan, nothing more than that. You don't deserve the title father."

"You're an ungrateful piece of shit!" Ivan sneered.

He nodded, licking his lips. "Maybe, I am. It still doesn't change the fact that you're a terrible person." He pressed stop on the treadmill, finally eyeing Ivan. "Being a man is always something I struggled with and instead of having you as a blueprint, I had to look to others. You're a coward, Ivan. Ludmilla and you were the worst parent's and even though it's been years, I'm still struggling to cope with how much you guys fucked me up in the head." Viktor shook his head, stepping off. "I don't want to have kids, because I'm scared I'll be just as bad as you guys. Which is bad on my end, because I have the most beautiful and most generous and caring girlfriend back at home, who I know would be an awesome mother. And I can't give her the one thing I know she desperately wants, because I'm mentally scarred for life."

After he said the things that needed to be said, he left Ivan there, relief flooding his body.

It felt good, finally standing up to his father.

But now he needed to make things right.

___________

Natalie sat on the sofa, binge-watching the show called Insecure on HBO. As soon as Viktor left out the front door and she heard the door lock, she limped her way into their bedroom and cleaned up her foot, making sure to wrap it perfectly. After she was done, she did her morning routine, fed Bane some food, and plopped herself down on the sofa with a tub of Butter Pecan ice cream in her hand.

To the left of her was a bottle of Oaked Chardonnay and every time she took a spoonful of ice cream, she drank some right afterward. "I don't get why she'd cheat on him." She said to Bane, who sat beside her on the sofa. "Well, I do because Daniel is one fine ass man but that's beside the point. Cheating... cheating is wrong and even though Lawrence needed to get his shit together, that doesn't mean he needed to get cheated on." She shook her head. "People don't understand that you're supposed to work things out instead of." Tears welled in her eyes. "Instead of doing the opposite of that."

She sniffled and then started crying again. "If Issa knew she'd be seduced so easily, then she should've never been in a relationship in the first place." She cried. "Lawrence is so damn fine too! Like how could she do it!" Bane stared at her blankly as she continued. "Relationships are hard bane and one day you'll meet a nice girl ferret and you'll be in one. Don't cheat on her or start arguments, just to mask your true feelings. It's not gonna be easy, but work it out."

Natalie paused, looking at him with a raised eyebrow. "Hold on, do ferrets even get down like that? Or are you guys more on the Polyamory side?" She asked, truthfully waiting on him to answer. When she realized he couldn't answer, she went back to watching the show. There was a knock at the front door, and that caused her to groan. "Who the fuck would be knocking right now when I don't even look myself." She paused the show and stood up, limping to the front door. "Who is it?"

"Hi, it's Jayda... Viktor's assistant." The person said on the other side of the door.

Natalie frowned but still opened the door. She looked at the beautiful woman with espresso brown skin and natural hair that almost resembled hers. "I uh.... hi... hello. Viktor isn't here, I don't know where he is but my best bet is, he's at the gym because that's where he usually goes to calm down and even think about the things that bother him." She rambled. "If only he could do all that with me." She blinked, hiccuping. "I'm sorry, I think I'm drunk right now and when I get drunk I do a lot of talking."

Jayda smiled at her. "It's fine, we've all been there at some point in our lives." She tells Natalie. "I came here to drop off your new phone. Viktor wanted me to get you a replacement, with some other things you might find handy." Jayda passed the red gift bag to Natalie.

"Damn straight he bought me a new phone," Natalie mumbled. "Thanks... Jayda was it?"

"Yes." She backed away. "It was nice meeting you Miss Scott."

"Same here." Natalie resorted, watching as she started to walk away.

Jayda turned around, walking back to her. "Okay, this is gonna sound weird, but you seem like you need some company and since Viktor hasn't told me to do anything else today, I've got time to spare. Lots of time." She cleared her throat. "Would you like it if I came in?"

Natalie tilted her head and hiccuped, before burping. "That'd be nice." She said, feeling herself about to cry again. "Come right on in." She made space for Jayda to walk through. And even though Natalie's feelings were a bit distorted and she was drunk... she could tell this was going to be the start of a beautiful friendship.

She could feel it in her spirit.

Nobody wins when the family feuds...

Who do y'all think was wrong the most in this chapter?

Chapter not edited, forgive me for any mistakes and point them out.