Loneliness is always looking for a friend

It found me once and it has been around since then

Loneliness is never waiting by the door

It sweeps right through and it will never be ignored

Why, why was I chosen?

Why am I left without?

-Loneliness by West Life

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The sound of voices wakes me up. It's eleven in the morning and my head seems to weigh about as much as a ton of bricks as I head to the kitchen. Mum's there, with Mrs. Williams and the girls.

"Morning mum." I greet. "Morning Mrs. Williams, Adira, Davina, Ruby."

"Morning." They all reply, staring at me as I head to the fridge to get some OJ like they're expecting me to just explode or something.

"What?" I quirk my eyebrows at them.

"Nothing." Mum replies hastily, pretending to be busy with some carrots sitting on the counter.

"I'm really sorry for your loss Ricky." The statements slams into me with such force that I'm surprised I'm still standing. I had almost forgotten about it.

"Thank you." I reply stiffly in an attempt to recover quickly.

"Are you doing okay?" Adira asks softly. Funny question considering the fact that you know, my aunt just died?

"I'm better." I reply instead.

Our neighbors stay for a while and we talk about our holidays. It's not so nice to talk about now, but it works well enough as a distraction that I'm glad for it.

After they leave, more people keep popping in to show their condolences and every time, I give the same well-rehearsed replies. It's okay. Thank you. I'm fine.

They're all expecting me to break down, but I won't give them the satisfaction; not out in public. Mum's holding the fort really well too but I know she must be hurting inside. She was really close to her sister and if I'm feeling this much pain, she must be going through hell.

Kenny comes around too. He almost looks as miserable as we do and somehow, my heart goes out to him. We talk for a while before he leaves and I find that I hate him even less now.

***

I decide to go to the school the next day, irrespective of everything because the only other option is to sit around moping all day. By lunch though, I'm starting to regret my choice.

Everyone is treating me like some fragile object that just might break. Everyone except Alex, that is.

"You alright mate?" he whispers, taking the seat next to me. "You look just about ready to commit suicide." 

Well, speak of the devil

"Feel like ditching?" he asks, grinning broadly. 

Except this devil is giving me a free bus pass out of hell.

"What do you think?" I nearly scream, laughing. "You're a life saver, I swear." I reply, grabbing my plate and getting up. "But we haven't got any permission slips"

He smiles knowingly and pulls out a note from his pocket, with Uncle Harry's and Dr. Eli's signatures on it, granting us permission to leave.

"How did you-

"I have my ways." He replies, smirking.

Where does this boy come from?

The security guards let us through without so much as a peep once Alex shows them the note. He drove to school today which is perfectly convenient for our escape.

"No one expects you to be strong, you know?" he says after a while of driving in silence.

"That's exactly the problem."

"That should be a good thing." He laughs. "It means we understand that you're only human. You're allowed to feel pain Ricky."

"I know all that. I just wish they would stop acting like I'll blow up at any second."

"I get it." He replies. "Oh and you did bring your fake ID along right?"

"When ever have I not?"

"Just checking," he replies, making a bend.

"Where are we going?"

"I think you already know mate." He replies, smirking.

He was right. I did know. I was just looking for confirmation and I had gotten it. A smile creeps onto my face as Alex finds a parking spot and pulls in.

"Alex you son of a-

"Shhh." He cuts me off. "You're welcome." He says, smiling broadly.

"You are absolutely off your head."

"That's what I've been told."

I punch him, smiling as we make our way inside. Our parents would kill us if they ever find out we came here.

A few years back, coming to The Jolly Roger had started out as joke. One weekend, we were at Mary's hanging out and had decided to test our newly acquired fake IDs. So we'd driven twenty minutes to the nearest pub; The Jolly Roger and sure enough, they had worked.

Yes, we'd gotten grounded afterwards when the news somehow leaked to our parents but it had been worth it. Soon enough, we all had new fakes remade.

Early this year, the pub had been in the news for a big shooting scandal and was likely going to be closed down soon but trust Alex to be crazy enough to still come down here.

Having been granted entrance as per our fake IDs, we get seated at the bar and place our order.

"This place brings back spiffing memories."

"It does." I laugh, taking a sip of my drink. My goal, needless to say, is to get drunk and forget about everything else.

we seat for a while, Alex and I, just drinking and talking.

Being a lightweight, it doesn't take long before I'm up on the bar stool, dancing with my shirt off.

Alex and the bar tender struggle to calm me down. 

"We need to get to platform 9 and a half or we'll miss the train." I stutter, running across the pub, vaguely aware of what I'm saying.

"That's enough." Alex replies, pulling me back onto a seat.

"Hi Optimus prime." I say pulling him closer. "I know your secret." I whisper, poking him in the chest.

"Do you now?" he replies, an amused look on his face.

"Yes but I'm not telling."

Alex chuckles and gets up to go pay our bill. When he gets back, he props me up and leads me outside to the car.

"Are we going to Narnia?" I ask as he helps me into the passenger seat.

"Yes we are." He replies humoring me. "You know Ricky; you could really pass for a little girl when you're drunk."

"I'm not drunk."

"Of course." He replies laughing whilst starting the car.

"Hey, look how small that lion is." I tap him, pointing at my window.

"That's a cat Ricky."

"No, it isn't." I reply. "It's a lion."

"Okay, it's a lion." He says, chuckling to himself.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing."

"You better not be-

I stop when I feel something rising up my throat. Motioning to Alex to stop the car, I push open the door just in time and proceed to puke my guts out. Thank goodness he stopped in time.

Alex hands me a bottle of water when I'm done and I rinse out my mouth. I also pour some on my hair and face.

"Thanks man." I say, a bit sober now. "I'm really sorry about all of this."

"What are friends for?" he replies, brushing it off.

Getting back in the car, he puts the key in the ignition as I join him. By the time we get to my place, it's almost nine thirty.

Thanking Alex again, I head inside

Mum doesn't question me and the look in her eyes tells me there will be no surprise punishments by the morning.

She just looks relieved that I'm back home safe and I apologize for not informing her I would 'hang out' with Alex after school. Of course I don't tell her that said 'hanging out' took place inside a pub and actually began before the end of school.

Heading to my room, I freshen up and fall promptly asleep. All thoughts of my aunt clouded over by exhaustion.

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Thanks for all the support loves. Y'all are the best!!