My feet hurt as though I have been walking for days. Pausing for breath, I skim my eyes over the surrounding area.

The place is arid as far as the eye can see. Every few steps, I spot rocks that look like they could be pumice. The parched path on which I tread has been heated by the scorching sun and burns my feet.

I feel a constant sting in my eyes from both the glare of the sun and the constant running of my sweat into them. I feel drained, abandoned, but still I walk on.

A few feet in front of me, lays a cluster of plants with yellow flowers. Dragging my heavy laden feet, I inspect the flowers.

It feels like I know this plant and yet I am certain that I have never encountered it. The word 'mad' floats around in my memory and I struggle to grasp a name which seems to be just at my fingertips.

Plucking one of the flowers, I feel the petals tenderly between my thumb and forefinger. 'Madwort.' Yes that must be its name. I must have encountered it in some book or something

Suddenly, the intensity of the sun's rays spirals rapidly to a peak and I fall on my knees, dehydrated and dying. I pant as my tongue hangs loosely from my cracked lips.

A snake slithers by and I know for sure that my end has come. Slowly, it approaches and begins to wrap itself snugly around my arm. Its skin reflects the sun's rays and I can feel myself slipping into oblivion as though my blood has been infused with ether...

Thwack! The sound literally ricochets off the walls of the silent library as a book connects with the side of my face. I jump up with a start; feeling disoriented and barely avoid bumping my head with the side of the desk that has been partitioned off for privacy.

"What the..." I begin, rubbing my throbbing cheek.

"Oh good, he's finally awake." I hear Alex saying.

Although I still feel a bit out of it, my vision clears and with it comes my sense of direction. I'm still seated in the library, right where I fell asleep but now, the twins, Mary, Alex and the librarian all stand hovering over me like vultures.

"You missed math class." Says Alex.

"And ICT. He let us out early though; not that it matters" Mary chimes in

My eyes widen in shock. How on earth did I sleep for that long? With what they're saying I've missed all my classes before the end of school.

I take a quick glance at my watch and sure enough the numbers 14:45 glare back at me in their harsh red colour.

"We thought you passed out or something,"

"I have no idea how that happened." I reply. "I was just going to take a little nap but I guess I was more tired than I realized."

"Well, we can see that." Replies Davina.

"What'd you do last night? Rob a bank?" her sister jokes and everyone laughs.

"It's complicated." I reply nervously as I begin gathering up my stuff.

"Are you okay?"

"Did something happen?"

I look up to see that they're all peering at me waiting for some sort of explanation.

"All good." I reply off-handedly. "Let's go."

Everyone looks like they would like to say something else, but I cast them a pleading look that warns them to drop the subject and they hold their tongues. I start walking away and they hesitantly follow suit.

When we get to the door, I pause with my hand on the knob. 'Thanks miss." I say to the libriarian before stepping out.

"Always happy to help." She calls back, smiling.

I hitch a ride with the twins and we make small talk on the way home.

When they drop me off, I let myself in as mum's still at work. Dumping my stuff on the floor, I jump into the shower and turn the water as hot as my body can tolerate. It feels calming and I feel my muscles relax as I lather myself up.

This is just what I needed, I think as I step out. No sooner have I gotten dressed in fresh clothes than my cellphone starts ringing.

Without checking the caller ID, I accept the call.

"Hello.' The caller says,

"Kenny." I spit with venom, my eyes narrowing into slits unconsciously in the process.

"I'm in the neighborhood and picking you up in 10 minutes. I know about Veronica's stroke. You need someone to talk to."

"Congratulations on hearing about that." I retort sarcastically. "But you're the last person I would want to talk to. Some of us have friends."

"I want to talk. I'm already heading over."

I grit my teeth with so much force it hurts. "For a guy who is struggling to gain my approval you sure have no problem coming up with more ways to annoy me." I reply, ending the call.

Tossing my phone on the bed, I let out a loud groan and barely stop myself from pulling at my hair. I'm too young to be handling all of this drama at once. What did I ever do to deserve this?

Music fills the room as my phone begins to ring again but I ignore it. He has to learn how to address me if I'm ever going to even consider giving him a chance.

The guy is just too full of himself and to think I have his genes in me.

The phone rings twice more and I'm tempted to switch it off but I decide to put him in his place.

"Hello" I answer on the third ring.

"Hi. Err...Ricky; Look, I'm sorry for how I acted earlier." He begins nervously. "I know you've had a lot on your plate lately and was wondering if maybe I could pick you up for just a little while and just talk and stuff. We don't even have to talk if you don't want to but I feel like we should just hang out for a while. "

His sincerity catches me off guard and I slowly mull over what he just said. Against my better judgement, I find myself consenting to his request.

Surely, being out would be better than sitting in this house with nothing but my sad thoughts to keep me company.

Kenny arrives in a little over twenty minutes even though he said ten. I leave a note for my mum to see when she gets back and head out. When I get in the car and he hands me a snack and some juice, I can tell that's why he was late. Expressing my gratitude, I dig in and just let him drive.

I'm so engrossed in my food that I barely notice that Kenny has pulled into a parking slot at the hospital where Veronica is admitted.

"Why would you bring me here?" I ask, making sure my face expresses my annoyance at not being informed earlier.

"I know you haven't seen her in a while. I just thought, maybe you'd want to and I didn't want to risk you saying no in case I asked because I haven't seen her in a while either."

"Fine," I mutter, unbuckling my seatbelt and getting out. "Let's go."

After reassuring the nurse that Kenny's a family member; even though it takes a lot to force the words out of my mouth, we take the lifts to the floor where the ICU is located and I can feel my heart already starting to race.

Karl isn't on duty today but Sarah is just as nice and helps us out.

Soon, we're both standing next to my aunt and I have no idea how to act. She looks like a shadow of her former self.

I expected it, but it still feels so weird. Kenny comes from behind me and rests his hands gently on my shoulders. I flinch at his touch out of reflex, but relax after reminding myself that this time, he means no harm. Even if he wanted to, he can't harm me anymore anyway.

We stand there for some time, looking at all the different tubes zig zagging their way in and out of her while the monitors constantly beep.

"She's going to be fine." He says softly and only then do I feel the wetness on my cheeks.

"She has to be." I reply in a calm tone whilst sending a silent prayer on her behalf.

After a little while, Kenny gently steers me out of the ICU and I let him lead me back to the car where he turns on the ignition and starts driving.

We wind up going to the park and finding a bench that is a bit secluded.

We sit there awkwardly for a while and my mind begins to swirl with different thoughts. I try really hard to imagine my aunt's face from before the accident but just as I begin to succeed; my memories become haunted by what I saw back at the hospital.

Will she ever be okay? I mean, it's been a month already and nothing seems to be happening. I really really wish that she'd just woken up after yawning but nothing seems to be going my way anymore.

"Why'd you do it?" I ask half to myself.

"Do what?"

"Don't play dumb with me Kenny." I retort, working myself into a mood.

"Jericho." He pauses for effect. "I need you to at least talk to me with respect."

"Well I need you to not be a part of my life right now." I spit. "But we can't all get what we want, can we?" my voice breaks and I know I'm acting callow but I cannot help it.

My life feels like it is falling to shreds with every day that I live through. I feel weak and hopeless.

Letting out a dry laugh, I stand up and pace slowly for a while. Andrew was right, I think to myself. I do act like a girl.

Kenny messed up. He messed up big time, but I have to put a rein on my feelings. I know that I'm taking everything out on him. He is still a grown up, and I'm talking to him with a lot of disregard. As far as respect goes, I'm way out of line.

"Do you want me to drop you off?" His voice interrupts my thoughts. "Maybe this wasn't such a good idea."

I quit pacing and resume my position next to him on the bench. "No, it's okay." I reply. "I'm sorry for addressing you like that earlier."

"You know, I'm not expecting that after everything that has happened you'll jump right into my arms and accept me but there was a part of me that hoped you would at least acknowledge the fact that I'm your father and that I'm also only human."

"You shouldn't have come back into my life." I reply. "All of this started when you appeared out of nowhere demanding custody of me. How do you think I feel about that? What were you even thinking?"

His eyes widen in shock and then morph into a mask of hurt and realization. "She didn't tell you." He says simply.

"Tell me what?"

"I never did file for that divorce."

Now it's my turn to widen my eyes in shock. Mum never mentioned it but I guess I can't blame her; not with everything going on.

"Why not?" I ask suspiciously.

"Well, to be honest, I was never going to but I knew that if I had just shown up, there was no way you and your mum would pay heed to me. I had to think of something to really gain your attention so I thought of all that. It doesn't make sense now that I think of it but I was desperate at the time." He chuckles.

I like how he's always so honest and open with me now. He admits to his faults without hesitation and tries to understand my point of view. Not many people I've met are like this. It's just quite unfortunate that I'll forever hold a grudge against him.

"You have a very messed up way of thinking." I say lightly.

"I do sometimes, don't I??" he replies laughing. The corner of his eyes crinkle up and his laughter is so infectious that I find myself joining in.

"Yeah well, it worked anyways." I say off-handedly.

"I don't deserve custody of you Ricky. Even I know that." He says, getting serious again.

His honesty is brutal in a way that makes me wonder why I never just tried to listen to him before. I don't know what to say back, so I just awkwardly shuffle my feet in the grass.

"We were close before everything got weird you know? Veronica and I." he says after a long pause. "It hurts to see her like that but I know it can't compare to what you must be feeling."

"Sometimes, I just wish that she'd wake up but deep down, there's a part of me saying that she won't." I reply quietly, hesitantly. "I feel like I can't handle all the drama; what with you and aunt veronica and mum holding it all together. It feels like everyone else is moving on with their lives while I'm stuck here in this dark hole that I can't crawl out of. I just want a normal life."

Kenny takes a deep breath. "Sometimes." He says. "Things happen that are out of our control."

"Too many things are happening that are out of my control." I mutter.

"If you look at it though, it's just one thing that seems to have stirred up all those feelings that make you feel like your entire world is crashing down."

I did consider it then and quite frankly, he's right. Just one problem has stemmed into something else and I feel like the whole world is resting on my shoulders.

"Now, I just feel incapable." I reply. "Just one challenge and I'm already falling apart. Life isn't for losers."

"You're beating yourself up." he says peering at me earnestly. His voice is laced with realization, concern and worry. "You've been through a lot Ricky. You should cut yourself some slack. You're only human."

"Don't you think I know all that?" I ask exasperated. "It's just; I really can't help feeling like this. Feeling like there's nothing I can do to change anything going on in my life. It sucks and I'm tired.

You know, I want to be a positive person. Like, when I'm really down and can only think negative, I want to be able to take a step back and think positive about it but I can't Kenny. No matter how hard I try, I just can't shut down my mind and ask my heart not to feel things."

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. To be completely honest, saying it out loud makes me feel a bit better. Even if I have a strong dislike for him, Kenny was right. I needed someone to talk to.

"I can understand how you feel. I can't make it all better but I'm willing to be here for you, you know."

"Thanks." I reply hesitantly. I'm not keen on giving him a chance, but it's the least I can do since he's making an effort.

"And there is something you can do about your life." He says. "You can hope. You can hold your head high and keep moving on. I know it's not easy but you can at least try not to give up."

How cheesy, I think, mentally rolling my eyes but I smile and thank him. It's the thought that counts, they say.

"Do you want to get something for dinner?"

"Sure." I reply because I'm actually starving. "Let me just text mum so she won't bother."

"Oh, there's no need for that. I already informed her."

I wait for the feeling of anger that always accompanies remarks like this but it doesn't make an appearance. I'm not happy that he talked to her and discussed this, but I'm not mad like I used to.

"Okay." I reply, taking the hand he's offered to help me up.

He takes me to a restaurant a few blocks away and we have some pasta that I'm sure was crafted by some divine being. My taste buds dance in delight with each mouthful I take.

Kenny and I, we make small talk in between bites and he genuinely seems to be having a good time.

"Thanks. I had a great time." I say when he finally drops me off at home.

"It was my pleasure." He says. "I had a great time too."

He offers his hand for a fist bump and I oblige before letting myself in.

"I'm home!" I yell as usual when I let myself in, but mum's just right there in the sitting room, watching TV. "Sorry." I mumble

"It's okay. Have a good time?"

"I did. I don't hate him as much, I think" I reply, deciding not to bring anything from our discussion up.

"You should give him a chance." She says as I begin to make my way upstairs.

"Is that what you've done?" I fire accusingly.

"I'm taking baby steps." She says earnestly. Me, I just head straight to my room.

I take my phone off silent mode and notice a myriad of texts from several people. Almost half of them are from Alex and a feeling of guilt washes over me. I should be talking to him about all of this, not Kenny.

It's pretty late so I reply the important ones, change into some sweatpants and a loose T-shirt and jump into bed; falling into the most restful sleep I've had in a while. Thank goodness it's the weekend.

~
~
~

Hey everyone!!

so, I'm sorry for not updating earlier but my wifi had problems.

Do you think I should move this book to the 'spiritual' category instead of teen fiction since its contents will involve all that?

Hope to hear from you soon.

Love y'all for real and thanks for all the support!

Don't forget,

Stay Awesome! :)