JAY laid down on his comfortable, blue bed, its sheets completely clean of his blood that was starting to stain the covers. Staring up at the ceiling as he contemplated what he was doing with his life? He destroyed the overlord with his friends -twice- went to space, trained a boy who turned into a teen because of a potion, fought snakes and piles of moving bones, fought the lord of darkness himself, opposed against a gigantic snake, and a ton of other things but he wondered how did he get to this point of his life?

He used to never fake his happiness, all of it used to be genuine though with time his happy emotions started to slowly melt into what he is now, this mess of a person.

  Jay runs all the time, sure his legs aren't moving but there's other ways to run, emotional running. Even if it isn't real life running there's still something the two types have in common. You get tired. You get tired from having to run from your demons, and you let them take you, and drag you into the cell of darkness.

Run

But how? How does one possibly run away from your own thoughts? Your own mind? Your own demons? And that's it. Its all a big "How?"

Run

  The ginger sat up on his bed as he carelessly pulled down his bracelet down his arm opening a cut from a few days back but he didn't care as he ripped off the bandages letting the blood from the open wound flow down his arm as his broken eyes examined the slightly thick liquid.

Run

  The blue ninja opened the door as it made a creaking noise before approaching his secret compartment, opening it he found his beautiful, shiny knife. He grasped the object, the fake leather of the handle feeling familiar in his fingertips. Stepping over to the sink he hovered his arm over the sink before making an incision into his skin, feeling the familiar sting before the pain subsided. He made another cut just under that one. He stared in the mirror as he cut more and more on his arm before looking back down at his wrist seeing 20 small lines that had small beads of red bubbling up from under the skin. Pursing his lips and drawing his eyebrows back before deciding it was enough for now he turned on the tap and let his skin run under the water letting the water slowly turn from red to clear and pure before turning off the water.

Run

Opening the compartment he gently placed the weapon back inside and closing it before opening a drawer grabbing the rubbing alcohol and bandages, doing the normal routine before placing everything back and collapsing on his bed.

Run

  Jay always wondered how did people that escaped depression act like nothing ever happened and as if it didn't affect that person at all? How do they act normal after all the emotional pain and sadness it brought on their shoulders to then be lifted off and be happy?

Run

  Jay asked how do people get better? Of the feeling of having a chain wrapped around your ankle with no signs of it ever letting go of your limb as you are weighed down with the metal ball of depression as you are dropped into the ocean of suffering meanwhile your lungs are filled up with your pain, sadness, and insanity. Your hands clawing at your throat in desperation for oxygen while you kick in a futile effort to free yourself and call out to the darkness of the water to have nobody save you. How do people receive the pliers of happiness to be able to bend the metal chaining them to the ocean? Does life just favor them? Possibly. But the one thing he doesn't understand is how they can swim up and leave all the other people drowning in the ocean without even looking back or taking a glance at them. How they don't even try to pull their chains to try and free them as well, it might be futile but at least you tried in a meaningful and good way.

Run

  Jay wonders if they ever miss the feeling of eureka, and relief that the sharp edge brings them. How they can stop seeing the blood running down their body, down their skin and then seeing the drop of crimson drop from their arm to the floor, breaking the air before splattering on the floor.

Run

Before all this happened to Jay he would actually ask himself "How do people think suicide, self harm, and depression are a joke it's clearly serious" but now he knows why they act like it's a joke. They do it so they'll be more popular, to shame people that want to suicide. To laugh because they don't want to die but laugh at those who do just to make themselves feel better. To push others down to get higher to stand in the Hall of fame because remember without loners popular people wouldn't exist. Without those unrecognized people that just get wept away by the crowd of people there would be those who everyone fawns over. Jay is tired of it. Suicide is not a joke. Self harming isn't a joke. Depression isn't a joke. They aren't just punchlines for a laughing. These things are not a joke.

Run

Jay hates it when people fake their depression just to get attention making those who have depression feel like fakes. Making people that try and call out for help make other people think they're faking and yell at them, bully them, hitting them telling them how fake they are and without them knowing in a few hours, days, weeks, months, years that person might have stepped their last step to breathe their last fault because of those haunting words along with the abuse and mental torture they had to endure and that person is 6 feet under because of your fault

Run

Jay is disgusted when they show these things on news channels just for money and views. Jay is mad when his teammates sometimes say "Such a poor youth" or "poor kid". But when he gets mad the most is when they say they were "doing it for attention" if you wanted attention then you wouldn't have killed your self.

Run

Jay still lay in his bed staring at the ceiling emotionlessly as his mind wandered to the memory of when he first cut, when he first pierced his skin with a blade, first he was afraid of what harm it could bring him but now it made him feel free

Run.....

And he goddamn didn't regret it