Trigger warnings: gun violence, child abuse, child neglect, child abandonment, violence, vandalism, etc.

Let me know if I should add to the list.

Parker is Percival McLeach's son.

Hannah is James Hook's adoptive daughter and the sister of the Hook siblings' and Ally who is a secret Hook.

Luke is Hans and Drizella's kid and dating Hades' daughter, Darcy.

Alex and Treycor are Hades' kids as well.

Isaac is Bill Cipher's son.

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Dr Jiminy: Hannah, is it true that you threw a shoe at Parker (Percival McLeach's son) here's face?

Hannah, arms crossed with a scowl on her face: It is.

Crowd *gasps and boos*

Dr Jiminy *raises hand to silence the crowd* Now, why would you do a thing like that for?

Hannah: I warned him I'd throw a shoe at him if he didn't stop flirting with my sisters. And he didn't soooo-

Parker *jumps up from his seat, throwing his hand into the air* Objection! I call hearsay!

Hannah *snorts loudly, glaring at him* this isn't a courtroom, dumbass!

Parker: HEARSAY!

Hannah *jumps up and gets in his face* STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY SISTERS!

Dr Jiminy: SECURITY!

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Parker, Percival McLeach's son: I'm gonna get a parentity test on that show 'Dr Jiminy.

Hannah Hook: Hoe don't do it.

Parker: why not?

Hannah: cause if you the daddy you're gonna look slow.

Parker: you already think I'm slow, so what does it matter to you?

Hannah: it matters because you're not the one who's gonna have to be seen in public with you.

Parker: you're gonna feel real stupid when I get the test back and it says I'm right.

*day after the show*

Parker:...

Hannah:...

Hannah: What did I say?

Parker: not to do it because I was gonna look like I was slow.

Hannah: and what happened?

Parker: I did it anyway and now everyone thinks I'm slow.

Hannah: exactly! But nooooo! You just had to go on the show!

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Dr Jiminy, hiding under a table: Gentlemen, Gentlemen! Are the firearms really necessary?

Parker, pointing a gun at his dad-Percival McLeach: Yes!

Percival McLeach, also aiming a gun but at his son: For once, I agree with the boy!

Dr Jiminy, muttering under his breath exasperated and still taking cover: Oh man, I do not get paid enough for this.

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Dr Jiminy, gesturing with his hands: Now, Bill. Would it really kill you to tell Isaac that you love him once and awhile?

Bill Cipher, laughing: It's funny how dumb you are!

Isaac, sliding down in his seat and pulling his beanie down over his face, muttering: I hate you, I hate you. I hate this. Why did I even agree to come here?

Dr Jiminy: Excuse me?

Bill Cipher: I said it's good to be back!

Dr Jiminy: I don't think-

Bill Cipher: You don't need to think! Your reality is an illusion!

Isaac, still muttering: Kill me now.

Bill Cipher: Now son, where would be the fun in that?

Dr Jiminy, under his breath and into his comm: Send in Ford...

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Dr Jiminy: Luke, will you please sit down so we can discuss this like adults-

Luke, running around the set and dodging security: NOOOOO! I DIDN'T CONSENT TO THIS!

King Caleb Westergaard: Nephew, please-

Luke, jumping over a chair: NO! DON'T CALL ME THAT, YOU ASSHOLE- I'M NOT YOUR NEPHEW!

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Cj: and when I got back, they yelled at me!

Dr Jiminy: and how did that make you feel?

Cj: Mad. Vengeful.

Harriet: YOU WERE GONE FOR 6 MONTHS-

Harry: AND DIDN'T LEAVE A NOTE!

Hannah *hiding in her jacket* I hate my life, I hate my life, I hate my life.

Dr Jiminy: and Hannah, how does all of this make you feel-

Hannah: Bitch, leave me out of this. I'm here against my Will.

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Dr Jiminy: Is it true that you threw a brick through Chernabog's window with a note saying 'you owe me child support ' taped to it?

Hannah: Yes.

Crowd *gasps*

Dr Jiminy *shocked* But why?

Hannah: Because he owes me child support!

Dr Jiminy: what makes you feel that way?

Hannah: because I've been raising his kids! 3 of them to be exact! Hell, I practically raised another two of them who are older than I am too! I make sure they eat and have a place to sleep and shower! So yes he owes me child support and he's far from the only one. I'll pay for his window when he pays me some child support!

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Dr Jiminy: Hannah. Why have you been giving your sister, Ally, the silent treatment for a week?

Hannah: SHE DIDN'T TELL ME SHE KNEW WHERE OUR SISTER WAS OR THAT SHE WAS ALIVE FOR 6 MONTHS! WHY DO YOU THINK?!

Dr Jiminy: Okay, I can see that made you quite angry-

Hannah: NO SHIT!

Dr Jiminy: But I don't think ignoring her isn't the answer.

Hannah: and I don't think that I asked for your opinion. So zip it.

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Dr Jiminy: Treycor, is it true that you threw Luke here out the window?

Treycor: Hell yeah, it's true!

Crowd *gasps*

Dr Jiminy: But why? Why would you throw your friend and coworker out a second story window?

Treycor: He's dating my sister!

Crowd *gasps again*

Dr Jiminy: still, don't you think throwing him out the window was an overreaction?

Treycor: no!

Luke: you wound me, good sir!

Treycor *throws chair at him*

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Dr Jiminy *tired* Alex, why did you stab Luke?

Alex: He's annoying and dating my sister.

Dr Jiminy: That's all?

Alex: yes.

Dr Jiminy *sighs*

Alex *downs some whiskey *