DOWNTOWN.
chapter thirty-one | fire on fire.

"We're back!" I heard the keys jingle as I leaned against the counter, looking at my watch. Soobin sat on the couch, eyes sliding over to the door. Dad was still out working, which meant I could beat up a certain someone as I pleased. "Oh, Soobin. Where is she?" The door opened and Donghyuck entered first, searching for me in the hallway—but finally noticing me in the kitchen, the corner of his lips rose. Soobin cleared his throat to signal my displeasure, making the racer frown. "You don't seem happy to see me."

"I'm not," I grumbled. Taeyong chuckled as he put his arm around Donghyuck's shoulder, leaning forward.

"Not my call," Taeyong reminded me, his other hand pointing at my face. "But, don't we deserve congratulations? We won our first race."

"Con. Grats."

Donghyuck shrugged Taeyong off him, taking a step forward. I took another sip of my tea, beckoning to my bedroom. "Let's talk."

Jaemin, Mark, Chaewon, and Yuta entered just as Donghyuck followed me into my bedroom, becoming suspicious as they yelled for us to come out. I locked the door behind me and slammed my cup down, grabbing his collar in the process. He put his hands up in defense although his eyes never left mine, indicating he'd be ready to pick a fight.

"Why'd you stop me from racing in Busan, Donghyuck?"

"You'd get yourself killed if you put yourself on the road in this state—in whatever state you were in before," He cleared his throat, eyes moving between mine. "I won't let you risk your life over a single race."

I shook him by his collar, exhaling heavily. "I would've been fucking fine! You know my limits!"

"Get over it. It's already over!" Donghyuck exclaimed, pointing at me. "The real issue is where did you go the night before the race to come back drenched in rain?"

I felt my hands loosen around his collar, letting them drop. "Nothing."

"You can't fucking lie to me, Ji. I know you better than anyone in here, and—"

"I mean it, Donghyuck, it was nothing!"

"Why was there blood on your sleeve?" Was something really there? Fuck. "Why were there red stains on your face? Why did you come back to the hotel with swollen eyes, god, Ji, you can't lie to me! You can lie to anyone else, you can tell them anything you want... but to me? Is it really worth it?"

He seemed hurt. But I couldn't respond for a moment. All I could do was stare, searching his eyes, but I found nothing. "I almost killed someone," I responded truthfully, looking down at my hands. All I could remember by being confronted by him was the way I slit Hyunwoo's cheek, and how he lay unconscious under me. "I made sure they'd never appear in front of me again. I chased them down, almost killed one, and threatened the other to piss off. Then, I went to visit Hyerin's grave. Happy now? You know everything."

"Why didn't you say anything to me?" Donghyuck narrowed his eyes. I scoffed, shaking my head. "I could've at least protected you. I could've at least been there!"

"And what would you have done, huh?!" I shoved him, shoving him again and again. "What would you have DONE?!" I screamed. Exhaling heavily, tears brimmed my eyes. "You would've stopped me. You would've made me do nothing. If I even laid a hand on someone, you would've held me back."

"You don't know me well enough, do you, Ji?" He said hastily, pointing at me. "I would've killed for you. I would've gotten my fists bloody if all you told me was to get rid of them. If they even dared to cross you, Ji, there's nothing more left to say. Don't you understand that? Don't you understand what I'm doing this for?!"

"But if that's the case, Donghyuck," I exasperated. I looked up slowly, frustrated. "Is it really.... my revenge?"

"Has it always been about revenge, Ji?" He hissed. "If everyone in the world wanted to get revenge, if I wanted to get revenge on my ex, we would all be dead! The world would hate each other, and things would get worse!"

"Well, thank fucking god I'm not everyone!" Tears slipped out of my eyes and I sniffled. "She died, Donghyuck. I blamed myself for years for not tolerating it any longer than I did killing her. I've known that I'm the problem for my whole life."

Donghyuck shook his head. "You're not a problem. You're just hard to understand."

"And when you meet people who are not willing to understand, who can't seem to understand, Donghyuck... you become a lot more, seemingly, complex," I exhaled. "It hurts, Donghyuck. I raced for Hyerin. I wanted to be in Busan to race and win in honor of her."

"Why can't you move on!?" He shouted. It's silent for a moment. I noticed the tears in his eyes, the way they began to shine. "Good. You got your revenge. Can you let it go now? Can you be yourself? Can't you race because you love it now?"

"No," I shook my head. "Not until it's over."

"What are you trying to prove, Ji?" He whispered. "Just fucking what is going on in your head that you're trying to prove to us... that you're killing yourself over it?"

That I am enough, Donghyuck. That I'm not a milk runner. I'm not the girl who had her best friend killed by suicide. That I am not complex, but rather, simple. That I am a Neo with whatever integrity I have left.

But I am silent.

Donghyuck swallowed, crossing his arms. "Forget it. There's no point arguing with you. The race is final. Once you get better, you can race in the third one for all I care. Kill yourself trying to race for all I care! But, the Busan race is over. Revenge is over. From now on, you have to tell me where you're going, at least—"

"You're not my father," I scoffed. "No, that's not the case. We're over, Donghyuck."

He furrowed his eyebrows. "What the hell do you mean by that?"

"I'm done with you bossing me around!" I yelled. "I'm done with you. I don't care what you do anymore. I don't care what happens to you on the road, what happens to whatever we have. I don't want to speak to you from this point on."

I coughed, watching as he stepped forward, but I took a step back. "Get lost," I grabbed my tea. "Actually, I'll do that instead."

"Just know, I've always promised you," He heavily exhaled, stopping me in place. "I'm your protector, Ji. I said I'd always be there the moment you falter... even when we fight."

But I ignored him. I opened the door and slammed it behind me, surprised as everyone was huddled by my room. They dispersed the moment I faced them, laughing awkwardly and doing whatnot. Taeyong was the only one who stayed, frowning.

"Don't be so harsh on him," He patted my shoulder. "Haechan just wants the best for you."

"Piss off," I glared, causing Taeyong to purse his lips. "Where's my phone? I'm leaving."

"Where are you going?" Taeyong handed me my phone and Mark's car keys, but I ignored his words. "Come on, Jiayi. It's five in the morning. Where the hell are you going?"

"Don't stop her, Taeyong,"At least Chaewon was on my side. "When a woman is mad, you can't force anything on her. She'll come back."

"Hello?" I said as I walked away from them, leaving my apartment. "Chaeyoung?"

"Girl," She groaned. "Don't you know it's sleeping time? Do you have any restraint?"

"We need to meet up for some gossip time," I heard her shift. "Bring Wooyoung too. I'll meet you guys at the convenience store by your house."

"Coming!"

"Mhm."

"And it's like, just because I was a little sick, that doesn't mean I'm impaired! I can still race!" I defended, watching as Wooyoung slowly dozed off. Chaeyoung was still in her pajamas, nodding slowly. At least she was listening attentively. "He just doesn't make sense to me sometimes. At first, he was so defiant, now, would he do anything to help me? Just what does he make of me? A helpless girl?"

I slammed my hand against the counter, watching as Wooyoung shot up. "Fuck. I'm getting heated again!"

"Calm down," Chaeyoung said, hands out. "Listen. I'm also on Haechan's side."

"Why!?"

"Jiayi, you're his prized possession. Haven't you realized that yet?" They do say I'm the Neos' lucky charm, but I think that's stupid. "Plus, imagine having them see you in that state. Wouldn't you fear the worst?"

"I would hope they'd say what they're feeling!"

"But did you?" I slowly shook my head. "Exactly. You were probably too fogged by your emotions to even say a word. Cut him some slack."

"Besides that, Jiayi, just for a moment," Wooyoung leaned forward, an eyebrow raised. It was only then did I notice that Wooyoung had a lot of scars along the side of his face, an eyebrow slit, and some other scars along his neck. "What did you do to them?"

"I cut Hyunwoo's cheek—from just under his temple to his lips," I crossed my arms. "Then, I threatened Kitae. Told him to piss off and never come find me again unless he wants a death wish. Told him to pass it along."

"Scary," Chaeyoung shivered, rolling her shoulders back. "Never thought you had an ounce of murder in you. I was proven wrong."

"I don't like getting my hands dirty. I wasn't taught that way," I cleared my throat. "I saw red. It was all I could think about."

Then, I faced Wooyoung. "How did they know I was here, anyway?"

"Must've seen you somewhere," He shrugged. "But they're not anyone to worry about anymore, anyway. Did you hear about where we're headed for the next race?"

"No," Chaeyoung and I both answered, waiting.

"Gangnam," He enunciated, shaking his head. "Busiest fucking place. We're bound to get fucked over."

"Can we end this shit already?" Chaeyoung mumbled. "I don't know. I have a really bad feeling about this."

"About what—" The door opened and revealed Minho, who was stunned to see us meeting.

"Oh?" We all avoided his gaze as he walked over, wearing a smug grin. "Aren't we... enemies? I knew I recognized some of my mates and my enemy when I passed by."

"Shut up," I muttered as he sat beside me, scoffing. "Aren't you someone who enjoys sleeping? Why are you up?"

"I was going to grab myself breakfast and head out to a garage to tune stuff up," Minho faced me after, tilting his head. "Speaking of which, I realized one of my cars was a little scuffed. Mind explaining?"

"Me?" Soobin, you shit! "I didn't do anything!"

"My garage has cameras, Jiayi. You're fooling nobody."

"I- Ugh, you're annoying. I've already had a bad enough day. Do you enjoy making people suffer?" He chuckled and patted my head, making the duo in front of us drop their jaws. "What?"

"I knew you guys were close, but this close?" Chaeyoung frowned. "Minho... it's like I'm seeing a new side of you."

"Truly," Wooyoung muttered. "Imagine if Haechan saw this. I think you'd be in hell already."

"Imagine if he saw you guys here!" Then, Minho blinked. "Yeah, actually... what are you guys doing here?"

"Lover girl here got herself into a little trouble with her boyfriend," I rolled my eyes. "Came to give her some advice since she's too clouded by anger. Make sure you apologize, okay?"

"Over my dead body!"

"She rarely ever apologizes," Minho spoke. "It's a little appalling. How could a woman your size be so stubborn?"

I punched his shoulder, making him laugh. "Stop it! I'm really angry, seriously! Why do you like making things worse!?"

"Because you know I'm joking," Minho smiled. "Anyway, I don't know what the issue is, but I agree with Chaeyoung—in our team, she's usually the most practical one. Always right."

"Giving credit where it's due, finally."

"And, it's good you didn't drive last night," Minho cleared his throat. "We almost fought after the race. You wouldn't want to be caught in the middle of a car fight."

"I'm the one who taught them to do that to you guys," I said, checking the time. I should head back. I grabbed my drink off the table and stood up, patting his shoulder. "Who knows you guys better than I do? Better find a new strategy."

"Shit," Minho leaned back, an arm hanging on the chair I sat on. "Being friends with you is detrimental to our success, Liu Jiayi."

I turned back to him for a moment, smiling. "That's why we're enemies, Minho. See you on the streets."

I could hear him snicker as I left the store, getting into Mark's car. I sat there for a moment, watching them talk, and remembered what it was like being in that situation. Where there was no care in life, no strings, just love.

Damn it. I'm going to cry. I need to get out of here.