When I get to lunch, my stomach is growling with hunger. I've forgotten when I've last eaten, again. The menu is better than usual today and I order a fruit salad.

"Hey Addy," Constance smiles at me, moving across the bench, making room for me. I'm so glad the tiff we had is over. I realise Constance is very easy-going and nice until you're not on her good side. Thankfully—probably because I'm her roommate—I'm still on her good side.

I take a seat and my legs touches Wren, who instantly turned when he heard my name.

His smile makes my day. We have had no classes together, so this was the first time I have seen him.

"Wow, that looks good!" Constance says, leaning over to get a closer look at my food. "Wish I saw that when I was up there."

Wren plucks my fork from my hand and stabs it into a piece of mango, before popping it into his mouth. I groan.

"Can you please eat your own food for once?"

"But yours is so much better," he whines.

"Wren! Learn some manners," Constance smacks his hand away when he reaches for my food. "Maybe you're the reason Addy is so thin; you eat all her damn food!"

My breath falls short and I almost choke for a moment, but everyone continues to banter, teasing Wren. I relax. The topic of my mental health is something I honestly can't handle.

"I heard you got a little drunk on the weekend?" Constance asks with an eyebrow raised, smirking. "Harlow said you stripped half-naked!"

"Well, if Harlow said it, it must be true," I snap much harsher than I intended to.

Constance looks taken back at my words. Harlow meets my eyes with a steady gaze.

"Nah, didn't mean it like that. It was just the game," he smiles, his smile as friendly as ever, his eyes not so much.

"I recall walking in on you in your briefs, mate," Wren pipes up.

"What?" Constance asks.

"It was just a stupid game," I say.

Constance looks confused, and I desperately want the subject to change. The guilt pooling in the pit of my stomach makes me feel unwell.

"Hey! Mind if I join?" a voice interrupts.

All of our eyes swivel to see Cora standing at the end of the table.

"Yes," Wren says rudely.

"Wren!" Constance looks horrified at his bluntness. "Of course. Hi. I'm Constance."

She gets to her feet and I feel like I'm watching everything in slow-mode. I look to Harlow, who finally looks a little uneasy as he flicks his gaze between the two girls.

"Cora," she says with a slight smirk, sitting opposite to us, close to Harlow. "I'm a friend of Addison's."

"Really?" Constance looks surprised. "You know each other?"

"Not really," I say.

"We just met," Cora smiles. "Hey, Wren."

Wren ignores her and takes another scoop of my salad.

"Wren!" Constance frowns. "You are being particularly wretched today. What's your problem?"

A headache is forming behind my eyes. I press my fingers to my temple and rub in circles.

Harlow quickly gets to his feet. "Wren, let's go."

Wren doesn't question his friend. He touches my shoulder briefly as he stands.

"Babe? Where are you going?" Constance moves to the end of the table.

"Smoke."

"Come over after class?"

"Sure," Harlow replies.

She stands on her tip-toes and kisses him. The moment is awkward, and he dashes away the moment she pulls back. I turn to look at Cora, who is silently staring up at Constance. My headache flares and I try to blink it away.

"Your boyfriend?" Cora asks.

"Yeah," Constance answers with her smile as she takes a seat.

"You're really cute together," Cora smirks, looking at me as if she knows I know.

I feel sick. I get to my feet and flee the cafeteria without a word to either of them. I rush back to my room. I reach under my bed and pull out the bottle I stashed. I swallow down big, long gulps, enjoying the burn as it tears down my throat. I drink until my hands stop shaking and my heart is beating at a normal pace. I place it securely back under the bed and wipe my mouth.

There's warmth in my chest for the last two classes. I sit low in my seat, my hand doodling over my page, leaving messy black lines over the paper.

I dread returning to my room, knowing Harlow will be there. He makes my skin crawl. I hear his laughter when I reach the door and I stand there for about a minute, convincing myself to go inside.

"Madison."

I turn, smiling. "Ran."

"Why are you standing outside your door?"

"I'm trying to convince myself to go inside."

"You don't want to?" he questions.

"No."

He pauses for a moment, and then we both hear more of Harlow's laughter. Wren nods, not questioning my reason.

"I was looking for you. Do you want to come to the gym with me?"

I stare at him. "The gym?"

"Yeah. I started going to get fit, but..." he stops as if trying to carefully select how he wants to say what he has to say. "It really benefited me mentally, too."

I swallow. "Right."

"I thought you might like to come."

I'm weak, a little drunk, and I forgot to eat my lunch again. There's a chance I might pass out if I go, but I consider his words.

"I'd like that. Give me a second to change."

"Where did you run off to today?" Constance interrogates as soon as I'm inside. It's dark and hard to breathe.

"Had to pee," I say, my back to her.

I hate that Harlow is here, I don't want to change in front of him. I turn my back, hiding my chest as much as possible as I pull tights on and change shirts. They're watching me curiously, but don't ask me where I'm going, thankfully.

I let out a breath of relief when I'm back outside. Wren's eyes give me a once over and butterflies erupt inside my stomach.

"Lunch was awkward today."

"I kind of hate your friend," Wren admits. "I don't know why. Something is off about her."

"You don't know her."

"Neither do you."

"I saw her hooking up with Harlow," I blurt. "It makes me sick he is doing that to Constance. I don't know what to do. I don't want to be involved, but Constance deserves better."

"I've seen Harlow with about twenty different girls in the past year. Everybody knows what he's like."

"Does she?"

Wren gives a half-shrug. "Don't know and don't really care."

"That's harsh."

"It's not my problem. It's not yours either."

I frown at his words.

"Seriously," he says with a pointed look. "It won't do anyone any good meddling, just stay out of it."

I sigh and nod.

We reach the gym and I peer up at it nervously. I haven't done a workout for a long time. Wren sets up music before leading me through some stretches. We head to the treadmills where we walk for two minutes, then run for three as a warmup.

Sweat runs down my back when I step off the treadmill. The smell of bourbon probably reeks in the room, but Wren says nothing.

We set up a circuit, spending a minute at each. I'm sweating and panting much more than he is, but I feel determined to push myself harder. We do the circuit three times round. My arms are shaking when we walk to the open space area.

He hands me some weights to do squats with. I do a few before Wren stands behind me. He rests his hands on my hips.

"Deeper," he says, and a shiver splashes down my spine. I love his hands on me.

I squat again, going deeper as he said.

"Again."

Our eyes meet in the mirror. His hands tighten around me, the material of my top scrunching in his fingers. I turn, look up at him through my lashes.

"Am I doing it right?"

"Yes," he breathes.

His hand finds my face, his eyes dipping over my lips. He leans toward me. The warmth of his breath washes over me and I inch closer, eager, when the door creaks open with a loud bang, light flooding the room.

"Hey!" Cora yells out, waving. "Hope you don't mind me joining in!"

"For fuck's sake," I hear Wren growl under his breath as he takes a step back.

Disappointment tidal waves through me. Wren was going to kiss me. We were so close...

"What are you guys up to?" Cora asks, walking up to us. I blanch when I see her small shorts and matching sports bra. I look down at my long-length tights and baggy sweatshirt.

Pale. Covered. Plain.

I'm so fucking ugly.

"I'm doing some training with Addison, if you don't mind," Wren says flatly, turning away from her.

"What are you training her in?"

He lets out a frustrated sounding, turning.

"Cora. Take a hint. Fuck off," he snarls at her.

"You fuck off."

He breathes hard for a moment, looking like he is trying to control himself.

"I don't like you," he snaps. "Stop showing up everywhere and leave Addison alone."

"I don't like you much either. She can do a lot better."

He takes a step and I wedge myself between the two.

"That's enough," I bark. "Don't speak to each other like that. I was having a good time just now, for the first time in a while, and you both just ruined it." I glance at Wren. "Thanks for all of this, but I'm done for the day."

The door slams shut behind me, and I walk to the closest bathroom. I lean heavily on the sink. I stare at myself in the mirror. I look at the clothes that hang off me loosely, looking three sizes too big. My skin is washed out. A dark purple shade hovers under my eyes.

I've never felt so hideous.

I burst into tears. 

----------------

What are your thoughts so far? :)