I refuse to let myself be excited about the weekend until I see Harold's car pull up out the front of Downright High. All week I've been waiting for the call, telling me the weekend was cancelled. Thankfully, it never came.

A guard escorts me out the front and I slide into the passenger seat. Harold is dressed in his usual horizontal-striped shirt and faded denim shorts. The smell of McDonald's meets my nose and my stomach growls in anticipation.

"Thought you might enjoy this," he smiles.

I let out a squeal, and he startles in surprise.

"You're the best."

He clears his throat and looks forward. I've scoffed the entire meal by the time we get home, and I feel a little unwell from eating too fast. Home. It's not technically my home, but I never thought I'd come back after last time.

"What do you want to do this weekend?"

"I have some friends who invited me to go swimming tomorrow. Is that okay?"

"Friends from school?" he asks, trying to hide his look of surprise. I've never exactly had 'friends', since living with them.

"Yeah."

"Sure, pumpkin. That sounds fun."

"I told my roommate we could go shopping tomorrow, but maybe you and I... could... go out for breakfast?" I trip over the words and mentally curse myself for being this awkward mess of a human. My emotions feel twisted inside my body and I can't figure out how to place them where they need to be.

He glances at me. I've never organised plans like that before, with either him or Eileen. I am forcing myself to try harder at this.

"Sure, Addison. That would be really nice."

"And maybe we could play golf on Sunday?"

He drops his food into his lap in shock. For the first six months of me living with the Jenning's, he asked me every weekend to play golf with him. Or go-karting, or fishing. All the things he liked to do. I refused every time.

"I'd really like that," he eventually says, still unable to wipe his surprised expression from his face. He has sauce in his moustache.

"Okay," I mumble.

Harold carries my bag inside and I slip out of my shoes and stack them in a line by the door–something Eileen has asked me countless times to do and I never listened. She observes me silently.

"Hello, Addison."

"Hi, Eileen."

She is hovering in the kitchen doorway, stiff as a rod. She has her hair down, something a little unusual for her to do, as it is always pulled back in a low bun.

"Have you eaten? Do you need anything?" she asks, her hands flat against her thighs and she stays where she is.

"I'm okay, thanks."

She nods. Harold walks back downstairs and heads into the lounge room to put on his show. I pause, one foot on the bottom step.

"Thank you for letting me come back."

She is surprised at my words but keeps her face controlled as she nods again, this time offering a small smile.

"Would you like some ice cream? I'm about to get some."

"Yes, please."

She smiles stiffly, before disappearing through the door.

My room is much cleaner than how I left it, going back to its pale bareness like it was before I moved in. I trail my fingers across the soft mattress, hardly able to wait to sleep on it tonight.

When I wake tomorrow, I hope the last two weeks have been a dream.

***

After Harold took me out for breakfast at a café at the waterfront, he dropped me to the shopping centre to meet Constance.

"Aw, is that your dad?" she asks when he gives me a wave.

"Foster dad."

"Oh, that's right," she says. "He seems nice."

"He is."

Her hair is in a wild, untamed afro today and I really like it. 

We head straight to the surf shop. I go to the bikini section and pick out a fiery red one, having aimed to find one in that colour from the start. Constance tells me she wants to find a one-piece, as she saw an Instagram influencer wearing one, and she has to find the same one.

It's not until I'm in line for the counter that realisation hits. If I'm only in a bikini, my scars will be on display. My heart drops into my stomach at the thought of it. They will ask questions.

"Found one!" Constance announces, materialising at my side. "Not exactly what I was going for, but still cute." She waves a baby pink one-piece under my nose.

"I can't go."

"Where?"

"Today. This afternoon."

She furrows her eyebrows and adjusts her septum piercing; a habit I've noticed she does a lot.

"What?"

My eyes dart to the bikini and press a hand against the white turtle-neck top I have underneath my dress.

Her eyes soften. "Addy, you don't have to be ashamed of anything."

I look at the ground. "They will ask questions."

"Tell them to fuck off."

I smile at that. "They look horrible."

"What does?"

I swallow thickly. "Scars."

"Everyone has scars, Addy. I think it's brave if you show them to the world," she squeezes my shoulder and I don't move away. "Buy the swimmers and come to the party. You will have fun, I promise."

The thought of anyone seeing my scars makes me want to throw up, but I've lived covered up for two years. What Constance said is true. I need to be brave.

"Are you right, Hun?" the lady behind the counter asks, her lipstick a brighter red than the swimmers in my hand, and one of her eyebrows is thicker than the other.

Be brave.

I buy the swimmers. Constance grins beside me. We go to a few more shops after that. I get a pair of new Vans for school and two new dresses. I can't remember the last time I went shopping and bought myself more than something that wasn't absolutely necessary.

It feels so normal to be shopping with a friend. Constance speaks most of the time, and I like how easy she is to talk to. She doesn't ask any prying or personal questions. She tells me her older brother is supplying the alcohol for the party and that he would fall in love with me if I wasn't his little sister's age.

"He can get anything you want," she continues. "Any party favours, you name it."

"Good to know," I say.

We stop to get lunch and Constance offers me a lift to the quarry. Her brother, Damien, looks similar to Constance, except taller and wider. He looks a little shady, but when he sees me hop into the car, he gives me a nod in greeting.

"Hey."

"Hey," I say back.

He offers to buy me some drinks, and I hand him a few notes that Harold gave me. He returns with a ten pack of Canadian clubs. We call into the house to change, get an esky and some ice to store the drinks in. The house is small, considering how many people it holds, with two beds being in the lounge room. Apparently, two of Constance's sisters also attend Downright High, but are younger than us.

Everyone appears to be out as there isn't anyone here. A radio plays loudly from the kitchen and the T.V. is on but has been muted. The wallpaper is peeling and has a 60's vibe to it. There are dark marks littered across the old carpet, evidence of spillages. The house is just as loud and colourful as Constance is and I can see bits of her personality splattered over many parts of it.

"Let's go! The boys are already there."

"So, Addison, you wanna' see my room?" A boy who looks aged thirteen or fourteen winks at me and Constance slaps his up side of the head.

"Sorry about that."

I feel awkward, but smile anyway.

By the time we arrive at the quarry, I feel extremely unsettled. I tug at my sleeve irritably.

There are a series of shouts and whistles when we get out of the car, and I tell myself to breathe when we climb down the rocks to meet everyone. I feel my shirt stick to me as I break out in a nervous sweat.

I shouldn't have come.

Harlow is chugging down a beer bong. There are a few faces I don't recognise and I feel extremely self-conscious when I see the other girls with their unscathed bodies. Bodies better than mine. Undamaged.

Harlow plants a sloppy kiss in greeting on Constance's face and volunteers her next for the beer bong. Cheers erupt from the group and she confidently shimmies out of her dress, showing off her petite figure in the new one-piece swimmers she got today. I blanch, feeling small and vulnerable and disgusting.

I shrink away and stumble back up the gravel hill until I find a spot behind a tree. I gasp for breath and sink to the ground.

I shouldn't have agreed to come. I can't do this.

There are footsteps and a shadow crosses over me.

"Madison."

I internally groan. Wren.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm having a moment."

"Are you okay?" he asks.

"Yes."

"Really?"

"No."

"Come on," he murmurs. "You don't have to worry about looking good in swimmers."

I cover my face with my hands, feeling hot tears well in my eyes. I curse at them and beg them not to release.

"Look at me."

I peek through the gaps in my fingers. Wren is standing there in board shorts that hang loose on his hips and an open shirt, revealing his excellent stomach muscles. His sleeve tattoo runs over his shoulder and spreads across the left side of his chest. The sight of him is almost enough to make me forget my anxiety.

He offers me a hand. I look at the tattoos painted on his knuckles.

"What are you hiding?" he asks.

"Scars."

"Show me."

I shake my head. "I can't do this. I thought I could, but I can't."

"Addison," he murmurs softly and I look into his eyes when he says my name correctly. "Please. Show me."

My mouth is dry. My fingers tremble as I slip the straps of the dress over my shoulders and the fabric pools at my feet. My breath is shaky when I pull the turtle neck over my head.

Wren tries to control his expression but I see the shock registering on his face.

"Yeah," I say quietly, shifting weight from one foot to the other.

He reaches out. His finger lightly trails across one of them and a shiver trickles down my spine.

"Cigarette burns?"

"Yes."

Wren slips the shirt off, his dark ink displaying. I flinch when I see he has a similar looking scar. Just one, though, not an entire solar system, like me.

"Drunk dad."

I look at my feet.

"We all have pasts, Addison. Trust me, with a body like that, no one is going to focus on the scars."

I let out a laugh. I've never had someone compliment me so directly before, and it thrills me to think someone as attractive as him could mean it. I give him a small smile.

"Thanks, Wren."

"Come on, let's have a drink."

I follow him back to where the others are. I want to hide behind him and use him as a shield.

Most are in the water, except two girls who are sunbathing on a rock. I don't dare to breathe when their eyes swivel my way. My hair is blanketing most of them, but it can't hide everything.

"Addison!" Constance calls, waving at me. She has a giant pink flamingo that she is on top of, floating on the water. "Come in!"

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

A warm hand finds mine.

"Let's go in," says Wren.

He must be able to feel me shaking.

I let him lead me over the rocks and he places a hand on the small of my back when one rock has moss covering the majority of it. My skin burns where he touches it, and I hiss at the contrast of the cold water as it laps over my foot.

The two girls on the rock bend their heads towards each other and I see them looking at my hand in Wren's. I want to unzip out of my skin and plunge deep into the water, disappearing under the surface.

Wading into the water, I go in deep, until the water is at my neck. Then I breathe. I'm covered again.

"You did it," he whispers.

"I did it," I whisper back in amazement.

"Those swimmers look fucking amazing on you."

I flush deeply, despite the temperature of the water. I feel like my entire body is alight under his eyes. He grins, loving my reaction.

When Wren smiles, he gets lines around the corners of his mouth and they make him look somehow even more attractive. He has long lashes—probably longer than mine—that frame his stunning blue eyes.

He moves towards me in the water. His hand finds my backside and gives it a hard squeeze. I almost yelp at the feel of it and when he swims away, I yearn for him to do it again.

Constance floats over to me.

"Cheers!" she yells, offering me her second cup. I take it. It's a vodka lemonade. Not what I bought to drink today, but I forgot to grab my can before I entered the water. When she is closer, she leans so far off the side of the flamingo that she almost topples over it. "I can't believe how Wren is acting toward you!"

"Why?" I ask quickly.

"He doesn't show interest in anyone. Ever. He didn't even give Brea this much attention and they dated."

"Really?"

Thoughts spiral out of control in my head. He's tricking me. He's going to use me for some sick bet with his friends. He wants to get laid and then he will toss me aside like nothing. My chest feels tight.

"He is so into you!" she gushes, oblivious to my inner turmoil. "It's so cute, Addy. Seriously. I'm shipping it."

She drifts away, and I try to remember how to act like a normal person. I paddle back to the rocks and haul myself up. My hair sticks to me and I'm relieved, it almost feels like I'm wearing a shirt.

After grabbing myself a can, I perch onto a towel and lay my legs out in front of me. I slide my sunglasses up my nose and feel the instant relief in my eyes at the protection. A guy I haven't met yet walks to me.

"Hey," he says.

"Fuck off," Wren says, having appeared out of nowhere, collapsing beside me on my towel. He's so close that his wet board shorts touch my leg.

The guy scowls before walking away.

"That wasn't very nice," I say.

"I don't like to share."

I turn to him, quirking an eyebrow. "And since when am I yours to share?"

He grins, and it's a young, boyish grin, but says nothing back to that. He pulls my drink from my hand and takes a long swig.

"You have a bad habit of taking what isn't yours."

"Do I?" he asks, leaning back into his hand, holding my drink to his chest.

"What's that?"

"Hmm?"

I point to his lip. "The scar."

"I had a lip ring."

"Really?" I question. I've never found those to be appealing but I think it would, very much be so, on him.

"Yeah, and I had my eyebrow done," he points to a small hole near his right eyebrow. "I went through a stage."

"I dyed my hair pink once. It looked very cool."

"Oh, I bet."

Wren offers me my drink back and its half gone. I finish what's remaining and let him pull me to my feet. We head back into the water, the sun becoming a little too warm on my back.

My body is still unnaturally stiff, but I'm breathing easier and I feel a little warm from the alcohol.

Harlow is chasing Constance in the water, trying to flip her. Her squeals echo around us. I silently watch her. Her glowing smile is brighter than the sun. She screams when Harlow shakes her leg. I wish I could be carefree like that.

I turn my attention to the water, which is a clear, turquoise colour. I want to go under and open my eyes.

Wren's hands find my waist. His hand slips down my side, his thumb sliding between my swimmer bottoms and the pelvic bone. My insides curl in excitement and nervousness. I haven't felt nervous around a boy for a long time.

"You're a very big tease," I say, and my voice comes out a lot huskier than I expected.

"Mm?" he murmurs, putting a little more pressure into his thumb. He moves it down and I almost swallow my tongue. I feel a swoop between my legs and try not to show too much on my face.

I haven't enjoyed this since it happened. But this is different. He is different.

His finger slides further down. He skims it for a moment before teasing at the edge, sliding it slightly inside. I can't breathe.

He winks at me before he retracts his hand and floats a little back from me.

"Jesus Christ."

"I've been called worse."

I laugh. His grin widens. He moves closer to me again, curling his arm around me.

"Goodness, you sure are touchy, Ran."

"They have a mind of their own," he assures me, his hand resting on my backside. "They really like it here."

"Do they?"

"Mmhmm," he nods. "And here."

His hand finds me again. If I wasn't in cold water, I'd be on fire. Burning alive. Dying from this unbearable heat he is causing inside of me.

"Hey, you guys hungry?" Constance calls out obliviously. "Harlow is going to get some fish and chips!"

After one last push inside me, Wren withdraws his hand and treads water, a dirty smirk lighting up his face. I cannot function.

Wren answers for the both of order, placing an order. When Constance retires to the rocks, it's only Wren and I left in the water.

"Madison."

I exhale through my nose, looking at him, trying to look like I'm not about to float up into the sky. "Yes, Ran?"

"I'm glad you are here today."

His eyes are locked onto mine. They are filled with a severe sincerity that makes me feel short of breath.

"Me too," I whisper. 

-----------------

What are your thoughts on the characters so far? :)