lisa was sitting on her couch, still wearing her silk pajamas. luckily it was saturday, meaning she didn't have any lectures to attend to and could just spend the day doing whatever she wanted. she closed her eyes, resting her head back against the couch and letting out a satisfied sigh. last week had been exhausting. she had so many portfolios to hand in and barely had any time to rest. well, it was her own fault anyway, for always procrastinating and doing them in the last minute. somehow, she never learned. she would always tell herself to do them early, because she knew she would regret it later and yet somehow, she still procastinated. it was funny in a way. they say human beings learn to not make the same mistake twice. in lisa's case, that same mistake had been made a couple of hundred times.

she opened her eyes and stared at the light blush colored ceiling. the whole living room walls had a slight pink hue to them. before that, the walls were an ugly green color and the decor didn't really suit the room, but slowly, by saving up, lisa managed to redecorate and rearrange every room to her own liking, starting with the living room. the ugly green walls were replaced by a more subdued shade of pink, the hideously chipped red couch was replaced by a gray one and the mustard yellow carpet, full of questionable and unquestionable stains was replaced by a beautiful carpet with triangle designs. it was her first actual design project and she managed to make it all work.

she was about to lay down on her couch and binge watch one of her favorite k-dramas for the nth time, when all of a sudden, her phone started ringing.

rosie♡ is calling. . .

with furrowed brows, lisa answered. "hey."

the chaos of cars honking and speeding past her, followed by the loud chatter of many people could be heard on the other side, making her wonder why chaeyoung would be out at this hour.

"hey. what are you doing right now?" she tried to make it casual, but lisa knew there was more to that.

"nothing. why? what's up?"

". . .can you come pick me up?"

lisa paused for a moment before turning off her tv and hurrying to her bedroom. "where are you?" she asked, feeling her stomach churn up in worry. she did not have a good feeling about it and the fact that chaeyoung kept making pauses before every response had her feeling on edge.

"i'm on my way." she reassured her friend after being told the address. why was chaeyoung on the other side of town? she quickly put on her favorite pair of jeans, followed by a random sweater she pulled out of the closet. in less than five minutes, she left the house and got to her car.

                      *         *        *
when lisa parked in front of the seven eleven, she didn't expect to see a melancholic chaeyoung sitting on one of the tables. she got out of her car, locking it before stepping inside the seven eleven. a warm gust of wind slammed onto her as soon as entered as the smell of fish cakes and fried sausage skewers hit her nostrils. she felt her stomach growl, but decided to ignore it for the time being, since chaeyoung was all she cared about as of now. her best friend's red hair instantly caught her eye as she walked over to the table where she was sitting.

"hey."

chaeyoung looked up, staring at lisa for a moment before straightening herself up and leaning back on her seat with a sigh. "hey," she mumbled.

"you okay?" the younger female asked, frowning softly as she sat down across from her.

she didn't reply, messing with her fingers instead. now lisa could definitely tell something was wrong. a million thoughts started swirling in the chaos her mind was in. every single red flag arose as her mind wondered to the worst.

she didn't know if she should ask her again or stay silent. the silence was only making the tension thicker by the second.

a loud growl cut through the silence, echoing. the two friends stared at each-other.

"was that your stomach?" lisa questioned, trying not to laugh.

chaeyoung was about to respond, but her stomach was faster, growling once again. the two friends laughed.

"let's get something to eat first. my treat." lisa suggested, standing up.

"really?" chaeyoung's eyes were shining brighter than the night stars, which made her heart skip a beat. she looked beautiful. she always looked beautiful. even when she thought she was a mess and wanted to dress in oversized hoodies and leggings and shut the whole world out, she was still beautiful. lisa only smiled and nodded, walking down the food isles with her.

she leaned against one of the shelves as she waited for chaeyoung to pick something. she wondered what had happened. they just saw each-other a few days ago and she seemed to be doing just fine. . .well, they kissed each-other a few days ago. is it because of that? no, it's been two days since it happened and chaeyoung didn't seem to regret anything, nor did she behave awkwardly around her. so what happened then?

turning back to reality, she saw chaeyoung was now looking at her. her thick pink lips were moving, but lisa couldn't hear anything. it seemed as if her thoughts had tuned off her voice completely.

". . .some too?"

"what?" she questioned, confused while straightening herself up.

"i said have you" chaeyoung began, but something caught lisa's eye. she stared at the elder's neck, seeing the dark marks that were decorating her neck.

her eyes widened momentarily at first, before they hardened. her hands clenched into fists, knuckles turning a pale white from how strong she was clenching them.

"lisa?" she heard chaeyoung's voice as she looked up at her best friend, seeing that her eyes were wide open.

the younger female gritted her teeth, trying to remain silent. her whole presence oozed an animosity that felt like acid itself and she could see that chaeyoung seemed scared of that. without another word, she walked away and went into the bathroom, staring at her red face that was suppressed with rage. she took a few deep breaths, trying to calm herself down. did chaeyoung sleep with someone last night? that's what she couldn't tell her? lisa felt the rage bubble up inside her once again. why didn't she tell her anything? why would she do that after the two kissed? did she not think too much of the kiss? did she not think there was a reason why lisa initiated the kiss in the first place?

lisa walked inside one of the stalls, kicking the door closed, which caused a loud thump to echo inside of the whole bathroom. she sighed, leaning against the grey wooden door and staring at the white tiles that decorated both the wall in front of her and the floor beneath her.

"it's fine, i'm fine." she repeated, coming out like a whisper. she took a few more deep breaths, not moving for a few minutes until she felt certain that the anger had boiled down.

"lisa. . .?" she heard chaeyoung's worried voice as her footsteps were heard moving around the bathroom. "are you okay?"

lisa chewed on her lower lip. was she okay? obviously she was not. the rage of jealousy burned through her veins, spreading through her whole body as it bubbled up from her stomach. maybe it was her fault for not telling her friend she liked her, but was it really her fault? she only came to terms with her feelings after the two kissed. it was weird for her, it was something new she hadn't ever experienced.

were her feelings even real at this point, or was she just tricking herself into thinking she actually had feelings for her best friend? in her twenty three years of life, never had she been attracted to the same gender. she'd look at women and find them beautiful of course, as we all do, but it wouldn't go further than that. what if she was just afraid of losing her friend? or what if she's trying to conform with chaeyoung's sexuality?

then again, why would she get jealous and mad about the hickeys on chaeyoung's neck? she can do whatever she wants, lisa doesn't own her. no one does. so then. . .why?