"Lucy, please. Can we talk?" Julian kept his cool like a pro. Normally, I would have appreciated this. Whenever you sit in a restaurant, there's always a couple fighting. Most of the time, a girl keeps ranting on and the guy sits there, taking it all in, knowing she'd calm down, eventually. I always used to admire them. But now, when it was Julian, I wanted him to lash out. I wanted him to show me he cared.

I took a deep breath. "Maybe later. Right now, I need to be alone. I'll text you when. I'm ready... or not." I turned around and walked in the direction of the hotel I was staying in for the duration of my stay.

The bigger the distance between us became, the more I calmed down. The calmer I became, the easier it was to look at what just happened from a different point of view. He made the grand gesture. Heck, he hopped on a plane and came to find me. And what did I do? I refused to even listen. Listening to him, wouldn't mean I'd have to marry him.

Without thinking about it any more, I turned on my heels and made my way back. I increased my walking pace but figured it still wasn't fast enough. What if he went back home? Before I realized it, I sprinted my way back. When I arrived at the sunbed, he wasn't there anymore. Was I too late?

I frantically looked around me, trying to spot him. But he was out of sight already.

Again, I turned back in the direction of my hotel. I felt hollow. I felt like I had screwed up, again. Of course, I was angry with Julian. But most of all I was hurt. I wanted him close, but only if I was one hundred percent sure he was there to stay.

-

The next morning I woke up feeling empty after a long and restless night of sleep. I couldn't shake off the feeling that I've screwed up. I needed to talk this out with Julian. No matter what the outcome would be. So, before I could change my mind, again, I picked up my phone and sent him a text. We were adults, we could keep this civil.

Lucy:

I'm sorry about how I walked away yesterday. I'm ready to talk if you are.

For the first time since university, I skipped a day of work. It was no use to dive into work today. I couldn't focus, anyways. The fact I didn't turn to work for solace or distraction, didn't pass me. And, truth be told, I felt proud because of it. Maybe, this was the realization I needed. Maybe I needed to want to change my ways, not just for someone else, but for me as well. For the first time in a long while, I put myself first.

I stepped onto the elevator, watching my phone intently. When would he reply to my message? Would he even apply to my message? Was he still here on the island? The elevator dinged, signaling I've made it to the ground floor. It was time to get off. I stepped out, without as much as a glance, and collided with another body. Soon enough, my top became wet with some kind of cold fluid. You've got to be kidding me.

Hope peaked in my chest. Would it be him?

When I looked up, a girl, who couldn't be older than sixteen years old, looked at me with an annoyed expression. "Excuse you. You totally ruined my iced coffee." She pushed past me, rolling her eyes. "Old people are just so annoying," I heard her mutter under her breath. Then she stepped into the elevator and threw me one more look. She knew I heard her, I was supposed to.

All that commotion with that snobby teen had made me oblivious to my surroundings. If only I had paid more attention. Because, if I would have, I wouldn't have been so startled.

He stood there. He saw it all happen, a smile on his face. The irony of the situation with the iced coffee hadn't gone unnoticed by him. It hadn't gone unnoticed by me either. The ice was broken, quite literally, as I stepped on and broke an ice cube. I should have known that ice and a slippery floor didn't make the best combination one could think of, but I was too distracted by that smile that I've wanted to see for so long.

I almost tripped and fell on my face. Almost being the keyword here. Two strong arms caught me, stabilized me, and held on to me. Those arms held onto me as if I would run away if they would let go. He held onto me.

"Such a clumsy, beautiful, woman." He said it so quietly that I almost missed it.

When I was confident enough that I could remain standing in my own two feet, I stepped back, creating some distance between us. We still had to talk.

"How about we go for some breakfast. Together?" I don't remember if I've ever sounded this insecure, this afraid to be rejected, before. At least, not like this.

"I think that's a wonderful idea." A breath, I didn't know I was holding in, escaped me. Relief overcame me when he spoke those words, accompanied by a genuine smile.

For a moment, I was afraid that the walk over to the restaurant would be awkward. However, the ice was broken and I think we've both felt it. Julian grabbed my hand and intertwined our fingers, and at that moment, all felt right. But we still had to talk. I still had no idea where he was at. For all I knew, he would tell me he loved me and walk away again. But that didn't make any sense. He came here looking for me. That must've meant something, right?

At the restaurant, we sat across from each other at a secluded table in the back. We needed to have this conversation, preferably without too many, if any, spectators. It was nerve-wracking enough as it was already.

"I just want to say, I'm truly sorry for how everything went down yesterday. I felt ambushed and was still on a high because of what happened with Hugh." At least that was off my chest now, and it felt like a weight was lifted.

Julian reached out and laid his hand over mine. I could've sworn I felt a spark. The spark reached my guts and at that moment, I knew. The things I felt for this man were immense. Yes, he hurt me by what he'd said and done. But it hurt me more to stay mad at him. That was all my own doing. I knew I would forgive him, whether he wanted to or not.

"Lucy, it's me who should apologize. It was stupid for me to think I could just walk up to you and all would be right again," said he. The light reflected in his eyes, highlighting the sincerity in them.

"I feel got scared. The situation my sister hinted at broke me." He swallowed and took a deep breath before he continued.

"About two years ago, I was engaged and ready to be married. The entire wedding was planned and I thought life couldn't get better. I was in love and ready to give her the world. Her family was rich, filthy rich. But she let me believe she wanted to succeed on her own. Little did I know, that behind the scenes, her dad paid for all her expenses."

As he was telling me this, something clicked. His few on people from money, hit attitude towards me when we first met. It was all coming from a place of hurt. I squeezed the hand then held mine, encouraging him to go on.

"Two days before our wedding day, she came clean. With here confession, a checklist of demands came included. I was to work for her father's business and take care of her, financially. I would have to quit my own company because, and I quote 'how do you think you can ever cover all expenses with a small start-up'. She didn't believe in me." His eyes darkened and a pained expression appeared in his eyes. Gone was that sparkle, the feeling of hope. He was wronged by here, and he still recovering from the hurt, the scars palpable in his eyes.

"I'm so sorry that happened to you. But there was no way you could've known. You trusted her and she broke that trust." I smiled a smile that I hope was reassuring.

"She didn't just break my trust. She broke me. I called off the wedding and thought that would be it. But there was no way I could oversee all the damage that was done. I became cynical, of everything, everyone. Even of myself. My confidence was shattered. I doubted every choice, every friend I ever made." I never could read Julian until that moment. I realized that it was his eyes. His eyes were the window to his soul. I've never seen it before because he'd never really opened up to me before. Not like this. But now that he has, his eyes said it all.

It hurt me to see him so broken, so devastated. The girl really did a number on him. I looked for words to say, but I couldn't find them. Not right now. Because there was more he wanted to say.

"I vowed never to fall that hard for a girl ever again. And then you came. I saw it in your eyes the first time we've met. You were different. I tried to push you away, I was an absolute dick. Not my proudest moment." A weak smile appeared on his lips.

"It makes sense, now. I get where you came from. And it's okay. I got over that part." This finally earned me a smile and I felt like we were going somewhere. We made progress.

"But you're not over the part where I told you I loved you and then walked out?" He glanced down at his hands, avoiding eye contact for the first time, ever. "I can't express how sorry I am."

I was about to reply to him when the waiter came to taker our orders. We ordered a continental breakfast without really looking at the menu, wanting to continue our conversation.

"I know you're sorry. I just don't understand how you could do it, how you could walk away from love."

Julian took a deep breath. I could see the inner battle in his eyes. He intertwined the fingers of our, still, touching hands. "Resurfacing wounds? I got scared. A voice in my head kept asking me' if Madeline could condescend me and my job, why couldn't you?'"

Every fiber of me wanted to react, to tell him I could never do that. It hurt to hear those words. It hurt knowing I haven't reassured him enough. I wanted to react, and yet, I didn't. The hurt, desperation, and fear in his eyes stopped me. I just had to ask one simple question.

"Do you believe that voice in your head?" My voice was small and vulnerable. I sat there with sweaty palms while fidgeting with the tablecloth.

Julian must have noticed my nervous habits and squeezed the hand he was holding.

"Lucy, I wouldn't be here if I believed even a fraction to be true. I was scared and overwhelmed. Never would have thought those two emotions held the power to make me an idiot."

Suddenly, Julian stood up. He moved his chair and sat back down. We were no longer seated across from each other. "Sorry for the commotion. I just wanted it to feel less awkward and uncomfortable when I did this."

And then, without any warning, he pressed his lips on mine. His hand moved up and held me in my neck. He pulled away and rested his forehead against mine.

"You, Lucienne Amelia Harrington, are the woman of my dreams. I was an idiot when I walked out of that room. And, if you'll have me, I promise to never make that mistake, again."

This time, it was my turn to press my lips on his. And I felt the butterflies in my stomach desperately trying to escape. "You walked out before I could tell you I love you, too."

"Then it's a good thing I came all the way to Hawaii. Imagine if I wouldn't have heard that crucial piece of information. I love you."

"I love you, too." I sealed my words with another kiss. After all, we had some catching up to do.

__________

Whoo! What a ride this was. It took me over four years to finish the story. FOUR YEARS! Now it's complete. An Epilogue is on its way.

I want to thank each and every one of you who read this story from start to finish, who stuck by me since the start. You're awesome!

XO Anna