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The Discussion

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THE LIBRARY wasn't my favorite spot in Glory Bells Prep, but it became my most cherished after Kai asked me to be his girlfriend here. It had been a long time coming, yet it took me by surprise. Naomi liked to say we had been dating long before and we just didn't make it official yet.

I could see why.

Whenever I wasn't in class or the dorm, I was with him. We spent whatever free period we would have together.

I remember one time Mariana and Naomi had talked to me about our time together dwindling. I had found it ridiculous given how I was always with them in the dorm. Even at that time, we hadn't started dating.

When he'd asked me if I could go through some flashcards with him, I'd been skeptical at first. Kai never had issues with flashcards and could finish them in minutes with everything pasted into his brain. When I got here, it was anything but flashcards.

It was simple, really. He sat there with a single red rose lying horizontally on the circular table and his chair facing mine. I'd asked about the flashcards and in return, he asked if I could be his girlfriend.

Now, seated at the same spot, but this time on his chair so I could see when he came in, another thing weighed on my mind, pushing the romantic memory aside.

My mind had been playing through the whole thing and how I was going to tell him. I was fortunate that there was no one nearby to see my consistent mutterings and slight gestures and just hoped I wouldn't chicken out at the last minute to lie to him.

Though, if I told him the truth, would he think I was crazy? He might—no, no. I couldn't think like that. I needed someone's opinion and I could trust him. It's Kai, my boyfriend. Well, not yet, he is.

I saw him walk in and waved him over. I was in the back and had to stand before waving so he could see me. The other two people present in the library were far away from us, and the librarian had gone into the back room.

That made things perfect for the talk we were about to have.

"This is gonna sound weird," I started, getting straight to the point, "But I'm in my past." As expected, his face didn't give away anything.

Kai was someone who would guard his expression very well. If you didn't know what to look for, you wouldn't be able to tell what he was thinking.

I knew I had to explain further, so I did. I told him everything, from how we had already graduated and I was at my grandma's. The gap in my memory. Mrs. Morris, what she had said, the artwork, and Mariana's recent behavior.

When I finished, he sat there with a slight furrow in his brows and a small frown on his lips. It was the same one he had when he was thinking.

It did not surprise me when it took some time before he replied. If he gave me this amount of information at once, I would take days, seeing how I've had it for a while now and was still having a tough time processing it.

"So," he started. "You need to uncover the reason they sent you to this specific moment in your life, which, according to you, has passed."

"Yeah exactly."

"And how are you sure that this is the past?" he asked. It didn't sound like he was in doubt, just that he wanted clarity.

"When I had graduated, we were already dating. You had asked me out at the beginning of eleventh grade, here in the library," I said, a part of me wondering if that was too much information.

"I did?" he asked, his eyes going wide before he blinked in succession three times. It was something rare that he did. Something he did when he was nervous or unsure.

"Yeah, but the question is, do you believe me?" I asked, my eyes fixed on his in anticipation.

"Yes, of course, I do," he said before he took my hands in his.

The tingles that spread through me were almost equal to the relief that washed over me. He didn't think I was crazy, because if he did... Was it possible that I was?

"If this is the case, we have to act fast. You said you have a week, and do you know what happens if you stay more than a week?"

"No, I don't, but Mrs. Morris mentioned that they could have made me forget."

"But if they made you come here, then why would they make you forget? If they wanted you to learn a lesson, wouldn't it make sense for them to give you all the information so that you could fully understand your situation?"

"I guess."

Unless they wanted me to be stuck here. And then that's why, when Mrs. Morris was trying to tell me everything, they did something to her. But how could they? If this was a memory, then you can't fix it right, as Miss Loveleen had said.

Or was this all in my head? Maybe I was crazy, maybe while I was in that forest I had inhaled something which messed up with my head and was causing me to make up all these scenarios in my head.

"Okay, let's not worry about whatever sinister motive they have to do that. Do you know how many days you have left?" he asked.

"I don't know um, I've been here since Monday, so..." I muttered the days as I counted seven of my fingers. "I guess I have till Sunday and today is Friday. Kai, what if I don't find out why? What if I don't make it out in time? I could be stuck here forever and I could never make it out—"

"Hey, hey. Look at me. Calm down and breathe," Kai said, and we took deep breaths together.

"Look at the bright side. If you're stuck here, at least you'll have me," he smirked, and I playfully hit him.

"I'm serious," I said, even though my lips relaxed in a small smile.

He leaned in and spoke in a hushed tone, his breath warm against my ear as he whispered, "Don't worry, everything would be alright. We would figure this out, okay?"

The sound of his voice was like a calm breeze rustling through the leaves, bringing a much-needed sense of peace to my racing thoughts.

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Saturday rolled around with a conclusion. Resolution.

After the bell rang on Friday, Kai escorted me back to my dorm, holding my hand all the way. We weren't in a relationship yet, but I couldn't get used to that idea as I had already spent a long time used to being in a relationship with him.

Nothing but tossing and turning filled my entire night as I played the tape of what I was going to say to Lilly over and over again. This resulted in me not catching a wink of sleep.

In Glory Bells Prep, Saturday mornings meant drama rehearsals, which were draining as usual. I'd been hoping to take a light shower—which I did—then go through my words again before heading to the West Wing of our dorm, where I recalled Lilly's room to be.

But Mariana had acted up again and I couldn't take it this time around. She'd made some snarky comments about the play, and I had to stop her there.

I knew our moment of understanding earlier was too good to be true.

I cared little for what I said. It might have been too harsh, but I needed to get out of here for my sake and sanity. This was all some kind of dream and when I finally woke up, everything would be back to normal and as if it had never happened.

Now, I had to talk to Lilly. I never knew what happened to her and although I had wondered about her change in behavior, I never asked why. Looking back, I know I should have.

I had been so angry at Jane and my dad that I didn't want to talk to anyone.

Until Mariana and Naomi pried me open, and Kai came along with Rhys. I'm never going to say thanks to Jane for that. It's thanks to fate that I met them, nothing more.

But as I made new friendships no matter how few they were, I forgot about the friendship Lilly and I had shared and only focused on the mean people we both were.

I reached her room to find it was still the same one. How did I know? She had an enormous poster on it reading, Lilly with a pink locked heart beside it, implying her surname, Lockhart.

I hesitated before I knocked and entered. Four pairs of eyes swiveled towards me, their gazes all different.

One pair stood out, bloodshot and puffy, with tears still wet on her cheeks. That was Lilly's and in the next moment, they flashed with anger.

Was this the wrong time or the perfect time?

She rubbed her eyes and stood to face me. I couldn't help but frown at her sad demeanor, which was obvious despite the angry facade she donned. I know we hadn't been friends for years now, but she was once my friend and I still cared for her, no matter how little it was.

She sneered. "You're here to gloat or what? What do you want here, huhn? And who said you could come in?"

"I wanted to talk to you." Finding her in this situation made all the words and all my work overnight fly out the window covered with a bright pink curtain.

"Well, I don't want to talk to you so you might as well get out," she said, hate dripping off her words.

"That's fine. If you don't want to talk to me, you might as well just listen. I know you don't hate me just because I got into a relationship with Kai."

She frowned, most likely wondering what I was getting at, so I continued.

"And I know it's more than that. I should have tried when I got here. I shouldn't have pushed you away harder than you did to me. That was not fair. I thought the world revolved around me and the problems in my life and I forgot about you and for that, I'm sorry. We might not have been able to go back to the friends we were, but we wouldn't be hating each other as much as we do now. I want to put all this hate behind me. I want us both to put it aside and settle on being amicable to each other," I finished with all their eyes unmoving from me.

For the first time since I can remember, Lilly was quiet and she didn't have a response to what I said. The younger me would have gloated at my ability to stun her, but now, that was way behind me and I knew better.

Given it was a minute-long apology which I'm sure I sucked at, she must still be trying to process all I said.

"Leave us," she said, and it took a while for Linda, Rachel, and Flora to realize that she was talking to them. They left, shutting the door behind them.

"What made you come and apologize? Is there something you're gaining from it?" she asked.

"You can say that. Well, a personal benefit. I had to do this. I've realized that I was wrong to you and I shouldn't have shunned you when we were once close friends," I said.

Lilly went to sit on her bed, and I followed limply behind her.

"Fine," she started. "I would admit it hurt me. If there was anyone I expected to ask about me when I left Chippewa, it would be you. I knew no one else fancied me and they would be glad I was finally out of their hair, but not you..." she paused.

"Or so I thought. I did my digging, though, on what could have possibly happened and... I found out about your mother," she said the last part quietly, and I couldn't believe I was having this conversation with her.

"I wanted to be there for you. We had indeed spent a lot of time apart but I still wanted to..." she struggled but finally continued, "Be some form of comfort, at least."

A beat of silence passed.

"And whoever said your relationship with Kai was the reason I hated you. Though I suspect you two are already dating, given how close you've been over the past days," she said and a small smirk played on my lips as she sniffed and rubbed her nose, which was turning slightly less red than it was.

"What, you stalking us now?"

She gave me a look, probably to check if I was serious. When she perceived I wasn't, she scoffed before saying, "Oh please, it's quite obvious."

"Well, for what it's worth, I do accept your apology, and I hope this gives you the personal benefit you need," she said.

"Thanks."

"What is it anyway, some inner peace? Find your true self kinda stuff."

"Hm. I guess you can put it like that," I said, giving her a small smile, which she returned.

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The Sparkling Authoress
Mis. A

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