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Memories

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"TONY?"

We were now waiting for Dad to finish with the paperwork since he'd been the one to bring me to the hospital. I recalled what Tony said and saw now as a good time to ask him about it.

"Yeah," he said with his eyes still on the basketball game that had just finished. I remembered our first memory of watching a game together. We'd been talking about Mom when a game started. It was a wordless agreement and ever since then, he replaced Mom by my side for basketball games.

"When you saw me in the woods, you said something about our house burning down. What did you mean?"

He sighed before turning down the volume and shifting in his seat to face me.

"I knew you'd ask me to explain. Well, that moment made me realize I wouldn't know what to do if you weren't ever around. It made me remember when someone said there was a fire and everyone started rushing out back then. In no time, the fire became worse. It was only when I was outside that I remembered you told me you weren't feeling well and that you were in your room."

That was what I had told him, well technically, that was my alias for not being present at the party, but he was the only one who truly knew where I was. So why was he worried?

"Then your boyfriend at the time ran in to find you and well..." he paused and I watched with bated breath. He hadn't given up the habit of starting at his hands when he was trying not to talk about something.

"I don't want to remind you of this, but..." he sounded wary like he didn't want to tell me.

"But what?" I prodded.

"Well, he went in, but it was Dad who came out with you. He found you lying on the floor in your room. No one saw your boyfriend, even when the firemen searched after they put out the fire," he said.

"So, you're saying Kai just... disappeared?" I stated more to myself.

"I think they closed the case, but we couldn't follow much on it since you were in the hospital for a while and we had to relocate, too."

I sat back on the bed, trying to understand all he had said. I know Kai went through the portal in Tony's room. Was that the reason he disappeared?

If that was the case, he wouldn't-he couldn't be gone forever. There has to be a way to get him back. If he got lost in that third chance, then maybe if-

"This is exactly why I didn't want to remind you. You always say you don't remember much about it and when you ask, you're always thinking so much after. I know I shouldn't have brought it up. I'm so-"

"Hey, no need to apologize. I'm fine."

I went quiet for a while but could only hold myself back for so long before I asked again, "Did we find out the reason for the fire?"

"No, not that I can remember. But we assumed it was something in the kitchen since that was where the fire started."

"And Aunt Vera? She was there too, right?"

"Yeah, she got out safe, but after we moved to New York, I think she also moved away. You remember Dad said she moved to Colorado, right? Then she stopped talking to us. Though last time I heard Dad and Jane talking about her, they said she went to therapy or so."

"Therapy? Why?" I asked and he just shrugged.

"But that's in the past. I'm glad you're okay now and we can finally leave here," he said with a smile and I know he couldn't tell I forced mine.

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When we arrived at the cabin, Grandma wasted no time before she engulfed me in a hug, which I returned. Although I had many questions for her, I wouldn't get straight to it yet.

"Oh, Clarissa dear, I was so worried. I'm just glad you made it out," she said. The others would think nothing of her statement, but I knew she meant it exactly as she said.

I got out of the cave.

"Dinner is almost ready. You can head up and rest for now," she said as she pulled back to hold my hand and give it a light squeeze before she left.

"You should give Lilly a call. We spoke to her about what happened and she wanted us to keep her posted about any development. We told her we found you, but still give her a call," Jane said.

It didn't come as a surprise that she mentioned Lilly, because I had memories of Lilly coming over to visit and us coming home together for the holidays. Apparently, when she had left Minnesota, she moved to New York, which was where we moved to when we moved. But it didn't end there. We also moved into the same neighborhood she did. Lilly kept on saying it was fate's design all along.

When I got to the room I shared with Tony, I paused at the door. It seemed like a long time ago when Tony was being all moody and indifferent when in reality it was just five days.

Five days that changed all of my life. The past, present, and future.

Some things had changed for better and some for worse, with parts of my life altered beyond repair. The parts including, Mariana, Aunt Vera, and Kai. There were more. I knew it. I just had to wait for the memories to come.

I got to the bed and took my phone. Three bars. That might work. I dialed Lilly's number, and she answered on the first ring.

"Clara? Is that you?"

"Yes, it's me."

"Blimey! Ma! Ma, they've found her!" she belted out to her mom, whose reply was too distant for me to catch.

"Gosh, Clara, what happened? Were you kidnapped? Did you get lost? You had us all worried. I thought our college plans were going to hell. I was even prepared not to go until we found you."

All it took was for me to think back. Turns out, we both applied and got accepted into Vanhousen University, Pennsylvania.

That was no surprise.

If Lilly was my friend before the cave, we would have at least thought of going to the same college. It wasn't rocket science to figure out that we would end up planning to do so, especially when we now lived in the same neighborhood. Pennsylvania was close to New York, closer than California was to Kansas, so I'm sure that made Jane thrilled.

"But now they're back on track," she continued.

I was joking when I said, "I'm sure you were only worried because you never like your plans going haywire."

She caught on as she let out an exaggerated gasp, "Clara Williams, how low do you think of Lilly Lockhart? Do you consider me to be some perfectionist?"

"You are a perfectionist," I deadpanned.

"Well, I'll let you know I was terribly worried. We all were, and I was serious about not going. I'd told my ma and pa was having a fit, but that didn't bother me any bit. He fusses over everything."

"I hope he's relieved now."

"Yeah, he's probably out drinking some bevy. Ma, could you please tell Pa they've found Clara?"

Our talk bled on till evening and would have gone on if Dad didn't call me for dinner. The only thing that made it feel unnatural was the memories I had of us not tolerating each other. How could the cave have changed so many lives, not just mine? Before the cave, Lilly might not have gone to Vanhousen, either. I set the thought aside as I bade Lilly goodbye before hanging up.

After dinner, Jane was doing the dishes, Tony and Dad were watching sports, and Grandma was on the porch. Now was the best time to talk to her. I headed out to the front porch to find her seated and sipping tea as she stared into the distance.

"You must have a lot of questions," she said and looked at me. "There couldn't be a better time to ask, so come sit."

She gestured to the chair beside her, and I sat on it. I knew I had a lot of questions. I just didn't know which to ask first.

"Since you're not sure what to ask, I'll just talk myself out now that I can," she started. "Before Perry delivered your message, he said everything he must have told you here. He said things like, Clarissa is not safe, Clarissa is not home, and he never repeated what any of us were saying. The others found this weird and thought maybe it was because you were missing. But I knew better. Then one day, when they were out searching and he told me you got lost in the woods and that we should come and find you."

I remember telling Perry that.

"But I knew this was different. I knew it was the cave."

"If all Perry said was that I was missing in the woods, how did you know it was the cave? How did you know there was a cave here?"

She was quiet for a while, probably thinking of how best to explain it to me. Then she sighed.

"Alas, there are some things you are too young to understand, dear," she said and looked into her blue cup. I peered in to see she was drinking some green tea.

Too young? I was eighteen. But I understood if she didn't want to explain how she knew. Probably another time.

We'd been staring out when Perry's voice floated out. I frowned as I tried to make out what he was saying and when I could, it... It sounded like he was singing.

Her discovery is the discovery. Back to her life is all...

SQUAWK! SQUAWK! SQUAWK!

Having the dream and then being in the dream but then leaving the dream is all...

SQUAWK! SQUAWK! SQUAWK!

I frowned at the choice of words he kept repeating. Where had he heard that? But another question came to me as soon as he finished.

"Grandma, how long have you had Perry?"

Silence reigned between us and I glanced at her to see her eyes fixed on her cup. I looked down, and it was now empty.

"Grandma?"

"Huhn?" she perked up as if snapping out of a trance.

"I asked how long have you had Perry?"

"Oh, that's an... interesting question. Hmm, let me see," she said and then muttered to herself, but I didn't catch what she said.

"Come to think of it, dear, Perry has been around for as long as I can remember. I don't know when exactly. He's just always been here, in this cabin," she said and chuckled.

"How did Perry even find me, or get into my head?"

"Get into your head? Do you think you were in your head?" she asked.

"Well yes, I mean, wasn't I?" I asked, and she chuckled again, the sound pricking at something I couldn't identify at the back of my mind.

"Oh, no dear. If you were in your head, we would have found you earlier, but you would be unconscious. Along with your body, it transported you to your past."

"Oh wow. So, if I got stuck there, you all would have never found me?"

"But you didn't, because you went through all three chances and-"

"Actually, I didn't," I interrupted.

She whipped her head toward me with furrowed brows. "What do you mean you didn't?"

The way she sounded made it seem like I had just said something utterly impossible.

I shrugged. "I found a second door that brought me here after my second chance. There was no easy I could stay there any longer. It felt like I was going crazy with the memory gaps and-"

"Memory gaps?" she interrupted.

"Yes, I had these memory gaps like I only remembered that I left the house after an argument and then I woke up in my high school. It was so confusing because if the cave wanted me to learn a lesson, then why would it make me forget how I got there unless it wanted me to get stuck in there?"

"Just like Jessica?" she muttered, but this time, I heard her.

"Who's Jessica?"

"No one you should worry about," she said and then twisted so she could look directly at me. I don't know if it was the evening light, but her amber eyes seemed duller than I remembered.

"Clarissa dear, what cave did you enter?"

"What cave?" My eyebrows shot up. "You mean that's not the only one?"

"Colors. What colors were in the cave?" she asked.

"Colors? Um blue and green. Though now I recall, the portal I passed through to get here was gold and purple. That's strange right," I said and looked at her. I saw a flash of concern dart through her eyes, but it left as soon as it came.

I reached out to hold her hand before I said, "Grandma, what's wrong? What are you not telling me?" Her eyes held a story I couldn't read, an emotion I couldn't decipher, but one thing was clear. She wanted to tell me more but didn't. What was holding her back?

Then she looked away like her eyes were giving her secrets away and withdrew her hand to hold her cup. She brought it to her mouth, only to realize it was empty.

"What matters now is that here, with us." There was an edge to her voice that I could swear I recognized. Something pricked at the back of my mind again and I frowned at the feeling, but I went on.

"Since you're not being honest with me, I have one last question." She didn't reply, so I asked anyway.

"Who is Allistair? You mentioned him when you talked to me from the fireplace, but I didn't hear what you said about him."

"He's the keeper of the cave. That's all you need to know," she said, and this time I recognized her tone. The conversation was over.

She took a deep breath, released it, and then stood from her seat.

"You're here now Clarissa. You don't need to worry about anything else. Now come let's head inside, it's getting quite dark."

I tried to return the smile she gave me, but it didn't quite reach my eyes. Yet I stood and followed her in.

Despite her trying to reassure me, I couldn't help the feeling that pricked at me. This was far from over and I didn't know how I could tell. Maybe it was the voice I couldn't recognize that kept saying at the back of my head,

She will be back, and by that time, we'll be ready for her.

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No, it's not the end. We still have one more chapter. Clara's grandma was being quite shady by not answering her questions.

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The Sparkling Authoress
Mis. A

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