Agad akong tumayo nang tumunog ang bell, hudyat ng lunch break. Hindi ako nag-aksaya ng oras—mabilis kong iniligpit ang mga gamit ko, I only had one thing in mind: ang ninth grade building.

Bumuntot rin sa akin sina Feli at Cece. They were clearly aware of what I was up to. Nakapagitna pa ako sa kanilang dalawa habang naglalakad kami sa malawak na corridor. Si Feli, nakuha pang magtanong kahit obvious naman na kung saan ang punta ko. Namin.

"Kali, saan ka pupunta?" May bahid na panunukso ang kaniyang tinig. "You're going to the ninth-grade building, aren't you?"

Stating the obvious, much moron.

I didn't bother answering. Of course, that's where I was going. It was my daily routine by now. Sa totoo lang ay hindi ko rin maintindihan kung bakit naging mahalaga na rin para sa akin ang mapansin ni LA. A week ago, I didn't know a thing about him. Ngayon ay halos ubusin ko na ang mga libreng oras ko sa school sa kakasunod sa kaniya.

"Hi, Kali! Lunch tayo?" Si Sylvester iyon, isa sa mga pumuporma sa akin third grade pa lang.

Hindi ko pinansin dahil hindi naman atensyon nito ang gusto kong makuha ngayon. I twitched my lips into a polite but uninterested smile as I checked the time. Based on my observations from the past few days, LA should be in the ninth-grade library by now. Oo, ganito ako katutok sa kaniya. Kahit pa nga ba hindi ako siguradong kilala niya ako.

It was like clockwork. He had a predictable routine, and today, I was ready to take full advantage of it. Dito na ako magpapapansin at kailangan niya akong mapansin talaga ngayon!

Cece snorted. "I don't know why you even try. LA De Salvo? Kali, there's no way."

Ito na naman ang mga kaibigan kong mahina ang kumpyansa sa akin. I rolled my eyes. I swear to God, I will marry LA De Salvo if it's the only way to prove I can get everything I want. Or choose to want. Kung meron man ganoon.

"Yeah," Feli added, shaking her head as we walked down the hall. "We've been watching this for days, and he hasn't even glanced in your direction."

Okay. Ano bang akala nila? Kailangan ko ng recap? I was there the whole time! Alam kong hindi ako pinapansin! Hindi na kailangan pang ulit-ulitin iyon sa akin!

Nang matapat na kami sa malalaking pinto ng library ay bahagyang umatras ang dalawa na para bang handa ang mga ito na iwan ako roon. Napasimangot talaga ako, lalo nang makitang wala silang balak na samahan nga ako sa loob.

"There's no way I'm entering that library," Cece sneered as though disgusted. "Puro nerd ang nasa loob, Kali. Matatalino, sure. Pero mostly weirdos. So, no."

Si Feli ay wala namang sinabi pa pero umiling siya nang balingan ko.

Hay. Hindi ko rin naman sila balak pilitin kung gusto nilang dito lang sa labas, pero hindi rin naman ako aatras dahil lang hindi nila ako sasamahan sa loob. I turned to them with a smirk. "Suit yourselves. But when this works, hindi niyo makikita. Sayang naman."

Feli raised an eyebrow. "Works? Kali, he didn't even acknowledge you the other day when you walked past him three times."

Kainis rin itong si Felicity! Hindi ko naman kailangan ng maya't mayang recap. Alam ko kung ano ang estado ng pagpapapansin ko kay LA! Muli akong napairap. "He's just... focused. But trust me, he's going to notice me today."

Cece and Feli shook their heads, but I didn't care. They clearly didn't believe me, but that was their problem. I had a plan, and today, it was going to work. Alam ko. Nasisiguro ko dahil napanaginipan ko na ito kagabi sa sobrang kakaisip ko sa gagawin.

"Alright, good luck with that," Cece said, waving me off as they headed toward the cafeteria. "Text us when you're done embarrassing yourself."

I huffed but kept my pace steady as I made my way inside. Ang bilis ng tibok ng puso ko. Bago iyon. Kailanman ay hindi ako nakaramdam ng ganito. Oh, well. Hindi ko rin naman kasi talaga ugali ang magpapansin. Ako ang sadyang pinapansin.

My heart was racing, not from nerves but from excitement. This was going to be the day. Papansinin ako ng De Salvo na iyon! Sandali akong tumigil sa bukana nang tuluyang makapasok sa loob. I scanned the room, and just like I expected, there he was. At hindi ako nagkamali na mag-isa nga siya roon.

LA was sitting at his usual spot near the window, completely absorbed in his book, his AirPods in place, blocking out the rest of the world. Abalang-abala siyang mag-aral. Bigla tuloy akong nahiya dahil wala pa nga akong assignment para sa last subject namin mamaya tapos siya, dito sa library gumugugol ng lunch break. Hm, pareho lang naman kami. Nasa library rin naman ako, ah. Magkaiba nga lang kami ng layunin ng pagparito.

I walked slowly and deliberately toward him, making sure to pass directly in front of his table. Wala akong pakialam kahit na pinagmamasdan ako ng ibang estudyante sa paligid dahil puro sila grade nine samantalang ako'y hindi. Kita iyon sa necktie na suot ko. Dammit! Sana pala ay kinuha ko muna ang coat ko sa locker para matabunan ito. Baka mas lalo akong hindi pansinin kung makita na grade five lang ako!

Bahala na nga!

Nagtuloy-tuloy pa rin ako sa kaniyang kinaroroonan. As I neared his table, I deliberately let the pen I was holding slip from my fingers, watching as it clattered softly on the floor beside his feet. Napangisi ako nang makitang sumakto lang ang landing nito.

"Oops," I muttered, bending down to pick it up.

I stood up slowly, pretending to look around for any sign of its owner. Then, as if the idea had just struck me, I turned back to him. Parte pa rin ng aking plano.

"Excuse me," I said, holding up the pen, "sa'yo ba ang ballpen na ito?"

He barely glanced up from his book, his expression as cold as it had always been since I laid eyes on him. Ang akala ko'y hindi siya iimik dahil baka rin hindi niya ako narinig gawa ng nakapasak na AirPods sa magkabilang tainga niya.

"No," he replied flatly, not even bothering to give the pen a second look before returning his attention to his reading.

My smile faltered for a moment, but I wasn't about to give up. Lalo na ngayon na may isang salita na siyang iginawad sa akin, kahit pa nga ba two letters lang ito at negatibo pa. I straightened up, pretending not to notice the icy wall he was building between us.

"Oh," I said, slipping the pen into my pocket. "It just looked like something you might have dropped. Kung hindi pala sa'yo ay akin na lang."

Akin naman talaga iyon, hehe.

Silence.

Silence.

Silence.

LA continued reading, completely unfazed by my presence. His lack of reaction only fueled my determination. Umikot ako sa kabilang bahagi dahil pandalawahan lamang ang lamesa at naroon nakapuwesto ang bakanteng silya. Hinila ko iyon atsaka naupo, placing my bag on the table with a soft thud.

"I'm Kali, by the way," ngumiti ako sa kaniya kahit pa hindi ako sigurado kung naririnig niya nga. Baka kasi kanina nang magtanong ako ay nasakto lang na in between songs siya tapos ngayon ay may music na ulit na pinakikinggan. "I don't think we've officially met, Laurent De Salvo."

Nasulyapan ko kasi ang buong pangalan niya sa library card na nasa lamesa. I liked Laurent better kaya iyon ang binaggit ko. For a moment, he didn't respond, his eyes still focused on the page in front of him. I shifted in my seat, waiting, feeling a bit like I was talking to a brick wall. Sana naman kahit paano ay kausapin niya ako. Kahit saglit lang. That's all I ask.

Lumipas ang ilang sandali na wala akong nagkuhang respond from him. Tatayo na sana ako at hahayaan na ang munting progress ng interaction namin sa araw na iyon dahil wala namang sinabi sina Feli at Cece na dapat magkausap kami ng matagal, eh. Ang mahalaga lang ay pansinin at kausapin ako ni LA, iyon lang, panalo na ako sa bet. So, okay na siguro ang simpleng tugon niyang iyon.

"I know who you are," he said, ang mga mata ay tutok pa rin sa librong hawak.

Mas lalo akong napaupo ng ayos. I was a bit caught off guard by the fact that he actually knew my name. "Oh, you do?"

LA didn't even look at me as he turned the page of his book, his expression completely unreadable. Akala ko ay masusundan pa ang sinabi niyang iyon pero wala na.

"I've seen you around a lot lately, and I thought maybe it'd be nice to get to know each other better. You know, since we both go to the same school and all. We can be friends." Hindi pa rin nawala ang ngiti sa aking mga labi habang pinagmamasdan siya. I also made sure na malambing ang tinig ko at mahirap tanggihan.

"I'm not interested."

The bluntness of his words hit me like a slap. I blinked, trying to regain my composure, but the frustration bubbled up inside me. Naiinis ako dahil hindi ko gustong aminin sa aking sarili na maaaring tama nga sina Cece at Feli. LA De Salvo was a hopeless case.

"I was just trying to be friendly." I said, forcing a small laugh to lighten the mood. Kahit pa binabagyo na ang munting pride na meron ang batang ako.

He closed his book with a soft thud, finally meeting my gaze directly. His green eyes were sharp, and the message in them was clear: leave me alone.

"You're wasting your time," kalmado ngunit mariin niyang sabi. "I don't do 'friendly.'"

I stared at him, hindi ako makagalaw dahil ramdam na ramdam ko ang labis na pagkapahiya sa kaniyang sinabi. His cold rejection wasn't something I was used to. Boys usually flocked to me, and yet here was LA De Salvo, brushing me off like I didn't matter. Tahasan niya pa talagang ginawa ito, ah?

He stood up, grabbing his backpack and slinging it over his shoulder. Wala na siyang iba pang sinabi, tuluyan na lang akong iniwan sa lamesa at ni hindi man lang tinangkang lingunin. I sat there, stunned, watching as he disappeared into the shelves of the library.

Nang araw na iyon, imbes na tumigil at maawa sa sarili ay mas naging determinado pa ako na makuha ang atensyon ni LA. I had gotten his attention, even if it was cold and dismissive. He had spoken to me, and that was enough to win the bet with Cece and Feli. But somehow, that small victory didn't feel satisfying. I hadn't just wanted him to talk to me—I wanted him to notice me, to really see me.

Mabilis na lumipas ang mga araw, hindi ko na halos namalayan ang paglipas ng panahon dahil masyado akong abala na ituon ang buong atensyon ko kay LA. I found myself more and more obsessed with the idea of getting through to him. It had started as a challenge, a way to prove that no one was immune to my charm. But the more he ignored me, the more I wanted his attention. The game I had started to win a simple bet had turned into something deeper, something I couldn't let go of.

Siguro dahil na rin iyon sa hindi niya ako pinapansin.

Doon ko lang rin napatunayan sa sarili ko na hindi ko talaga gusto ang mga lalaki na humahabol sa akin at handang maging sunud-sunuran lamang. They reminded me so much of how whipped my dad was to my mom. Ayaw ko ng ganoon. Kakaiba marahil pero mas gusto ko pala ang lalaki na kayang mabuhay ng wala ako. Kayang mabuhay kahit wala ako.

Every day, I would find myself gravitating toward where he was, hoping to catch a glimpse of him. I memorized his schedule, learned which classes he took, where he spent his free time. I knew when he was at the library, when he was in the science lab, and when he slipped out of the school gates quietly after class. Sa lahat ay sinundan ko si LA, kahit sa social media. Wala na nga akong pakialam kung hindi naman talaga niya ina-accept ang follow request ko, eh.

It didn't matter that LA never gave me more than a passing glance. It didn't matter that when I walked by him, trying to catch his eye, he would barely acknowledge my existence. I had become obsessed with the chase, with the idea that one day, I would break through that cold, indifferent exterior. One day, mapapansin niya rin ako.

"Crush mo," pasimpleng siko sa akin ni Feli bago humilig sa boyfriend niyang si Marc.

Maging si Cece na abala sa kinokopya nitong notes ay nag-angat ng tingin sa papadaan. "Girlfriend niya na siguro 'yan kaya lalo kang hindi pinapansin."

I glanced over just in time to see LA. He was walking toward the grade eleven building with that girl again. The same girl he'd been with almost every day for the past two years. They were deep in conversation, his usually cold, distant expression replaced with something softer. He seemed relaxed around her, at ease in a way I had never seen him before. The girl adjusted her thick-rimmed glasses, laughing at something LA said.

The sight made my chest tighten, but I forced myself to stay composed.

"Lagi niyang kasama. Tinanong ko na 'yan kay Kuya Edison. Best friend daw ni LA. Andrea ata ang pangalan. He knows her kasi pinsan ng girlfriend niya," Feli grinned.

"Selos ka?" Tukso ni Cece sa akin.

"Hindi naman nakakapagselos," kunwari kong sabi, brushing a strand of hair behind my ear. "She's not even half as pretty as I am."

Cece giggled, leaning forward to get a better look at Andrea as they walked farther away. "Well, maybe not, but she's got his attention."

"Best friend nga daw, 'di ba? Si Edison na ang nagsabi!" I bit my lower lip, medyo hindi na ipinahalata ang iritasyon kahit nakakainis itong si Cece. Nanunukso pa kasi. "Malamang close sila, but that doesn't mean anything."

Even as I said the words, I couldn't help but feel a sting of envy. LA was always distant with everyone else—especially me—but with Andrea, it was different. He talked to her. He smiled with her. They had an easy rapport that I couldn't help but want for myself. Totoo naman na mas maganda akong hindi hamak sa babaeng iyon. So, bakit siya pinapansin at ako'y hindi?

"Right," sumali pa si Feli sa panunukso sa akin, bahagya pang pinatigil si Marc sa pasimpleng bulungan nila para lang harapin kaming dalawa ni Cece. "Pero hindi rin naman malabo na nagkakagustuhan ang mga mag-best friend! Lalo na kapag ganyan na sobrang close at halos pareho ang mga hilig!"

I narrowed my eyes at her but didn't take the bait. "Look, she's just... not my competition. Trust me. LA's just comfortable around her because they've known each other forever. Isa pa, wala namang sinabi na girlfriend niya ito, right? Kung gusto talaga ito ni LA ay bakit hindi sila? I will get his attention. You'll see!"

"Ilang taon na namin 'yang naririnig, Kali. Hindi mo naman nakukuha!" Humalakhak si Cece bago ipinagpatuloy ang ginagawa.

Marc, who had been quietly listening, finally spoke up. "Are you sure you want his attention? I mean, you've been at this for years, Kali. Ang daming nagkakagusto sa'yo. Ilan sa teammates ko ang gustong ipakilala ko sila sa'yo tapos sinasayang mo ang oras mo sa De Salvo na iyon."

Hindi ko na sila pinansin, I busied myself na lang rin with homeworks na kailangan sagutan. Wala akong pakialam kahit pa mahirap makuha ang atensyon ni LA. Hindi naman ibig sabihin noon ay imposible, 'di ba?

And yet, time and time again, LA remained an enigma. No matter how many times I tried to engage him in conversation, he shut me down. His responses, when he bothered to give them, were always curt and distant, like he was doing me a favor by speaking at all.

Still, I persisted. Through my growing frustration, I clung to the belief that there was something more behind his aloofness. Maybe he was guarded, maybe he had reasons for keeping people at a distance. Maybe, deep down, he just needed someone to push harder, to show him that they cared enough to break through the walls he had built around himself.

But as months turned into years, it became clear that I was the only one playing this game. While I continued to watch him from afar, hoping for a sign that I was making progress, LA continued to live his life as though I wasn't a part of it at all. He excelled in his studies, moved through the halls of school with the same quiet confidence, and remained as unapproachable as ever.

He never gave me the time of day. Not a real smile, not a word of encouragement, not even the faintest hint that he was aware of my constant efforts to get his attention. And yet, I couldn't stop.

I had lost sight of why I was doing it in the first place. The original thrill of the chase had long faded, replaced by something darker—an obsession I couldn't shake.

"Ito na ba si Kali? Dalagang-dalaga na!" Sabi ng isa sa mga kaibigan ni Mommy na sumalubong sa amin sa isang social gathering. "Kamukhang-kamukha mo, Alice!"

I smiled politely, knowing exactly how these gatherings worked—compliments wrapped in formality and masked judgment. The woman's eyes swept over me, taking in every detail of my appearance. My mother, standing beside me in her perfectly tailored dress, subtly glanced my way, her gaze silently reprimanding me for my posture. Without a word, she made it clear: Stand straighter, smile more gracefully, make me proud. Kabisado ko na ito dahil ganito naman palagi ang ganap sa buhay ko.

I adjusted myself immediately, shoulders back and chin lifted, then returned the woman's compliment with a practiced, sweet smile. "Thank you so much, Tita. That's very kind of you."

My mother's subtle nod of approval was barely noticeable, but it was enough to make me feel like I'd passed the unspoken test. Sa likod ko naman ay naroon si Dad, inilapat niya ang kaniyang kamay sa aking balikat at marahan akong pinisil doon. He was always the gentler presence, the one who soothed the tensions my mother's high expectations often created.

"Mas minana nga lang ang ugali ng daddy niya," pasimpleng tuya ni Mommy. Hindi ko alam kung para sa akin o para kay Dad iyon. But I was a bit offended kung kay Dad nga.

"You're growing up so fast, Kali," tinawanan lamang iyon ni Daddy kaya ganoon na rin ang ginawa ng kaharap naming ginang. "Sa akin nga siguro nagmana. Before we know it, she'll be running her own law firm."

Muli akong pinagmasdan ng mga ito kaya pilit akong ngumiti. This was my life, after all—set on a path that I wasn't entirely sure I wanted to walk. But at gatherings like this, there was no room for hesitation or doubt. My mother would never allow it. Kailangan, ang pangarap na ididikta nila sa akin ay iyon lang susundin ko.

Nagkaroon na ang mga ito ng sariling usapan kaya naman malaya kong nailibot ang aking mga mata sa paligid. The grand ballroom was filled with the most elite families from Cebu and the surrounding provinces. Lahat ng imbitado sa kaarawan ni Governor Santelmo ay pawang mga malalaki at kilalang personalidad, kaya talagang mahigpit ang banta sa akin ni Mommy na huwag akong hihiwalay sa kanila o gagawa ng anumang eksena. Not that I ever did that.

I scanned the room. Everyone who mattered was here, dressed in their finest, smiling and chatting as though the world outside didn't exist. My mother, of course, had made sure our family was front and center, ready to be seen and admired.

May iba pang mga lumapit kanila Mommy and Daddy na mga kaibigan at kakilala sa pulitika at kung saan pa. I stayed rooted beside them kahit pa gustong-gusto kong umalis. I loved social gatherings, sure. They gave me reasons to dress myself to the nines and be as glamorous as I could. Pero hindi ko rin naman maikakaila na boring ang mga ganitong okasyon, lalo na para sa mga kaedad ko. I didn't want to be here, mingling with people who only cared about status and power. But this was my mother's world, and by extension, mine.

"Make sure you greet Governor Santelmo later," my mother said softly, not bothering to look at me as she greeted another guest. "And mind your poise, Kali. You're representing the family."

"Yes, Mom," I said, my voice obedient but distant. I was used to this by now—her constant reminders that every move I made reflected on our family's image. Her image.

Mamaya naman siguro ay makakalayo ako kahit paano sa kanila ni Daddy. Sana lang ay makita ko ang mga kaibigan ko dito. Nasabi sa akin ni Feli na invited ang parents niya, hindi ko nga lang alam kung isasama siya dahil hindi naman sila masyadong dinadala ni Edison sa ganito unless maraming kaedaran rin namin ang pupunta. Ako kasi, palagi. Hindi puwedeng wala ako sa lahat ng gathering kung saan imbitado ang mommy ko.

As I looked around the room, my eyes caught sight of something—or rather, someone—that made my heart skip a beat. LA. He was here. Of course, he would be. The De Salvo family owned the largest hotel chain in Cebu, if not the country. It made perfect sense that they'd be present at an event like this. Bukod pa sa kilalang socialite rin ang mommy niya na si Gabbana De Salvo.

Tahimik lamang siyang nakatayo sa tabi ng mommy nila, samantalang ang dalawa niyang mga kapatid ay mas madaling nakikihalubilo at nakikipag-usap sa ilang mga bisita na lumalapit sa kanilang kinaroroonan. LA's presence was strikingly different. He wasn't the type to bask in attention like them. He was calm, polite, and distant, blending into the background despite his tall, elegant frame and the perfectly tailored suit he wore. Kahit wala namang nakapasak sa magkabilang tainga niya ngayon ay para bang wala pa rin siyang pakialam sa mga nangyayari sa paligid niya.

I couldn't take my eyes off him. Pilit ko nga lang pinaalalahanan ang aking sarili na hindi ako dapat magpakita ng masyadong interes sa kaniya ngayon dahil wala kami sa school at kasama ko pa ang mga magulang ko. Baka mapagalitan ako ni Mommy.

"Richard," rinig kong bulong ni Mom kay Dad. "I need to make a good impression with the De Salvos tonight. If I'm planning to run for governor one day, I'll need their endorsement."

I sighed inwardly. Of course. For my mother, everything was about power, about making connections with the right people. It didn't matter if she actually liked them or not; what mattered was how they could help her get ahead.

Hindi na ako nabigla nang marinig ang sinabi niyang iyon kay Dad.

She excused herself from the group she had been speaking with and began walking toward the De Salvos, my father dutifully following behind. At syempre, kailangan ko rin sumunod.

My heart pounded in my chest as we approached LA and his family. I knew my mother's motivations were purely political, but for me, this was personal.

Si LA ito at ang pamilya niya.

I took a deep breath, my pulse quickening as my mom greeted the De Salvos with the perfect balance of grace and warmth, flashing them the practiced smile she reserved for important social interactions.

"Gabbana, it's wonderful to see you again," my mother said smoothly, her voice dripping with the confidence of someone who knew exactly how to navigate these kinds of events.

Palagi kong pinagmamasdan si Mommy sa mga pakikihalubilo niya dahil itinanim niya na sa aking isipan na kailangan ko rin maging ganoon. Maging kagaya niya.

Gabbana De Salvo smiled politely, the kind of smile that didn't quite reach her eyes but was practiced enough to appear genuine. "Alice, what a pleasure. It's been far too long."

My mother nodded, ever the politician. "Yes, medyo abala ngayon lalo na't malapit na naman ang eleksyon, but it's always a delight to attend Governor Santelmo's party. And of course, it's an honor to see your family here."

I barely heard the rest of the conversation. My focus was solely on LA, who stood quietly behind his parents. Lumilibot ang kaniyang mga mata pero ni minsan ay hindi ako nadaanan man lang ng tingin. Hindi ko alam kung sinasadya niya ba iyon o ano. He looked detached, like he was just going through the motions.

Sumalo na rin sa usapan ang daddy nila, si Daddy naman ang kausap dahil may kung anong tinanong ito tungkol sa isang matunog na kaso ng kilalang korporasyon sa Ilocos. Wala ulit akong pakialam kaya hindi ko pinagtuonan ng pansin ang mga detalye ng usapan nila.

Halos mapasinghap ako nang bigla akong balingan ni LA. His eyes met mine. For a split second, time seemed to slow. My chest tightened, and I quickly looked away, trying to steady my breath. Mas okay pala 'yung ako lang ang tumitingin sa kaniya at nagsusuplado siya!

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