Roger put down his cup after he took a sip of tea. He rested his head against the window, looking at the people passing by. He wondered what their lives were like; were they happy? Were they in the same state he was in? He sighed, trying to think about something else. However, there was one thing that was important to think about: where he would go. Two girls were sitting at a table, a few ones away before him; they were giggling whilst looking at him intensely. He tried his best to avoid looking back at them, as they were annoying him and he wanted to stand up and ask them to look away from him. They had recognised him, that was all. In a certain way, he had maybe been stupid to sit in a random café. He was the drummer of the successful band Queen, he had to watch out for him. His eyes lowered on his suitcase, on the seat in front of him. It was the right decision, he was sure.

Brian stretched his back and rubbed his eyes. He coughed and sighed with a smile.

“Good morning, sweetheart.”

But nobody answered him. He could not even hear someone breathing. He frowned but smiled again. Roger was obviously having breakfast downstairs. He pushed the sheets out of his naked body and looked at the wooden chair; Roger's dressing gown was not here.

“Definitely downstairs. Aah, love!”

He stretched his back once again and opened his wardrobe. He took simple clothes he put on; then, he opened the door before running down the stairs. With a grin, he walked up to the kitchen: nobody was there. He shrugged.

“Rog, honey, I got uuuup!” he sang happily.

He got out of the kitchen and went to the living room. Nobody again. This time, he started to worry.

“Rog? ROGER? Are you in the loo?”

He waited for an aswer, in vain. He ran upstairs, banging on the doors. He was not in the bathroom, nor in their library. The guest room. He did not check there. With fear in his chest, he opened the door of the guest room and walked in. Roger had vanished. But he noticed that the bed had been used recently, as it was not correctly done. He abruptly pulled the sheets, hoping to find something there, something that could belong to him. There was nothing. He clenched his fists, full of worry, and hit the wall with so much strength that he surprised himself. The telephone rang downstairs. He rushed to it, picked it up and pressed the handset against his ear.

“ROGER?”

“Uh no. It's Deaky!”

“Oh, sorry mate.”

“I'm calling you because Freddie suggested that we could gather in the studio, as he wrote a damn good song, he sang it to me, and wow, that's something, I swear! And of course, he wanted to know if Roger and you were free today.”

“I can't find Roger” Brian started to sob, “he's not here.”

“What? Calm down, Bri, maybe he just went out to the record store.”

“It's 10, Deaky, it isn't open yet.”

“Oh, you're right. But he'll come back, don't worry about that.”

“I fear he won't. His mood got worse. He doesn't say a thing, but his eyes betray him. They're constantly red from crying. And he blushes a lot more. Do you think it's my fault?”

“What? Wait, Bri, I don't see what you could have done wrong. I know Roger very well and I'm sure he has nothing against you.”

“I don't know where he is, he didn't even leave a note, he always does.”

“Bri, Bri, let him live. Maybe he just went out for a morning walk. You know how much he loves the district! Come on, calm down. I'm coming, okay? I'll be there in ten minutes, more or less.”

“Be quick.”

Then, Brian hung up, without waiting for John's answer. He stuck his back against the wall and broke down into tears. It was not a morning walk or anything, he could feel it. It was something else. And it did not feel good at all. He sat down on the floor, curling up, boucing backwards and forwards, trying to comfort himself with nicer thoughts.

“Three pounds, please.”

Roger nodded and took out three pounds from his pocket before putting them on the counter. The waiter thanked him and took them. He lifted up his chin and bent over the counter.

“Sir, aren't you the drummer of this band... Queen?” he whispered so nobody else could hear him.

“I am.”

“What an honor! I really like your music, you know. And I share your feeling about my car” he said with a wink.

“I'm happy that you do. I have to go now. Have a nice day!”

“Have a nice day, sir!”

And Roger got out of the café, with his suitcase in his hand. He sighed and looked at the street. He had no idea where to go. It was not too late to go back home and put his clothes back to his wardrobe; but he could not do that. He needed fresh air, and he needed to go somewhere else, alone. Maybe he should have left Brian a letter, or just a note, like he used to do everytime he got out of the house and he knew that he would not come back before Brian. Something was broken in his heart, and now, he was almost sure what it was. Brian and him passed the different steps of their relationship a bit too fast, and that frightened him. They had been together for four years. After a few months, they decided to buy a house and live in it together. It was fast. “Way too fast” he sighed. He turned his head in every direction and decided to turn left. He was walking slowly across the streets, and he knew that some people recognised him. He was quite surprised that nobody went up to him and asked for an autograph or something. He could go everywhere he wanted and not be disturbed. Life had already changed.

John knocked on Brian's door and waited at the doorstep, a bit nervous. Brian opened the door in a hurry. He could barely see the world around him, blinded by his tears. He threw himself in John's arms and loudly wept on his shoulder; his bandmate, completely confused, rubbed his back.

“Now, now, let's go inside.”

The guitarist nodded and they both got in, closing the door behind them. He ran a trembling hand in his hair and sniffed.

“He's gone, John.”

“What? No, he just got out, we're going to wait for him.”

“No, no. he won't come back.”

“How can you tell if he didn't leave you a note?”

“I checked the whole house again, and... I looked into his wardrobe. All his clothes disappeared. And so did the suitcase I bought him for Christmas.”

“Oh shit, things are getting serious!”

He gently grabbed Brian's arms and sat him down on the couch.

“Let me prepare you some tea, okay? Meanwhile, tell me what happened exactly.”

“I don't know what happened, that's the problem! I don't know anything more than you do!”

John shook his head.

“This is not our Roger at all. He would never be capable of doing that.”

“That's what I thought too, y'know! But it seems like he is...”

“It's alright, we're going to find him, huh? By the way, I called Freddie and told him to come and he's on his way.”

The bass player hugged his friend and walked up to the kitchen, where he prepared a good cup of tea. He opened a drawer and found butter scones. He took the cup with the bag of scones and put them before Brian on the small table. Brian shyly grabbed them and drank a mouthful of tea.

“Now, tell me everything from the beginning.”

Roger was still wandering in the streets of Kensington. He was free, why did he stay in the district he lived in? He took a deep breath and walked the streets leading to Notting Hill. Maybe he could find anything there that could make him forget the situation, even just for a minute. Luckily, the market was already open. He took a look at many things, and a woman that sold records smiled at him and discreetly showed him his Queen t-shirt. He winked at her and looked at a few records. He bought a special edition of an EP by the Who and walked away. In a shop window, he noticed an incredibly beautiful shirt. As he began to walk up to the entry, an sudden strength pulled him backwards and pinned him to a wall. He dropped his heavy suitcase on his own foot and refrained from screaming.

“What are you doing here with this fucking suitcase, darling?”

Only one person would call him “darling”. He raised his eyes and met Freddie's.

“Let me go, Fred.”

“I won't if you don't tell me what you're doing with that suitcase.”

“Are you a cop or something? What are you doing here by the way?”

“I was on my way to see Brian. D'you want to know why? Deaky called him this morning just to know if you two were free today. Brian was in tears and he said that you disappeared. Now I know what you did.”

“Unfortunately, you don't know a thing.”

Freddie's dark eyes widened and he finally let go of Roger. He sighed and ran a hand through his black hair.

“Brian is terrified. John immediately called me after Brian hung up, and told me he was going to stay with him. Can you please explain me?”

“Well...”

“No, no. After all, you must explain that to Brian. Come with me. At least show up to let him know you're alright.”

“I don't know, Fred... I'm scared.”

“Scared of..?”

“Scared of facing him. You have no idea.”

Freddie sighed and ran a hand in his hair once again whilst tapping his foot nervously. He placed his hands on Roger's shoulders.

“You will have to, one way or another. You can't leave him like that, without explaining anything. He won't understand and he will keep waiting for you and waste his life like that. As your friend and his, you can imagine that I won't let you do that. And at least everything will be clear. For both of you. So, will you follow me?”

Roger frowned and looked down to his feet.

“Okay.”

Freddie smiled, as if it was a victory, and wrapped an arm around his shoulders as they made their way to Melbury Road again.

“Brian, please, calm down.”

John was panicking. Brian was out of control. He could not refrain from kicking the furnitures and throwing things against the walls and the floor. He even broke the mini guitars he had built himself, kicking them across the room. Never had John seen him in such a terrible state. He almost wanted to hide under something, to use a table as a shield, but he could not, it was ridiculous. The doorbell rang, to his relief. John ran up to the door, letting Brian sitting on the couch, completely devastated. John opened the door and immediately saw Freddie.

“Ah! Here you are! Where have you been? He's going completely crazy!”

Freddie stepped aside, showing Roger who just wanted to hide. John's eyes widened and he hugged Roger.

“Please, do something, he's going to kill someone if not himself!”

Roger stepped in, with fear in his chest. Brian was loudly crying, curled up on the couch. Roger put down his suitcase and silently walked up to him. John and Freddie prefered to stay in the entry, watching the scene from there.

“Bri?”

Brian jumped and immediately recognised Roger's voice. He stood up and threw himself in his arms.

“Oh my love! Oh sweetheart! I believed that... That you left me and... Your clothes disappeared and...”

As Roger was not saying a word, Brian opened his eyes and saw the suitcase. He stepped backwards and wiped his tears away with his sleeve.

“You should sit down, Brian, I have to talk to you” Roger said. “Listen, I – well, I'm quite scared of saying that to you, and I didn't plan to, but apparently, you really need an explanation. As you know, I've been in a terrible mood and you witnessed important changes of my mood.”

“Yeah...”

“And... I didn't know the reason why all that happened. I ignored it until last night.”

“What is it then?”

“I think that... everything happened way too fast in our relationship.”

Freddie's, John's and Brian's jaws dropped simultaneously. Roger had always looked very happy with Brian, and it sounded strange to them that he realised that four years after. Brian broke down in tears, staring at Roger.

“How can you say that? Why now?”

“I didn't realise that 'til then. It sounds strange to me too.”

“Then why do you think that if it sounds strange?”

“Because it's the truth.”

“Nah, I can't believe you. I can't believe you, Roger. Yesterday everything was alright! There was something that was shining in your eyes when we were waiting for our pizzas, when you were lying on my lap! Don't tell me that there was nothing, I won't believe you. I felt loved at this moment, more than ever, so how can you say that? And when we were watching the TV, there was something too.”

Roger opened his mouth to answer, but Brian interrupted him.

“You didn't sleep beside me last night, did you? You slept in the guest room, huh?”

“I did sleep in the guest room” Roger sighed, feeling his eyes being filled with tears.

“Why?”

Teardrops started to fall on the drummer's cheeks. John stepped forwards, wanting to comfort him, but Freddie grabbed his arm, shaking his head without saying a word. Brian was still staring at Roger, his lips trembling.

“I didn't feel good in your arms last night. I felt as if I didn't belong there, something like that, it's hard to explain. I needed to be alone.”

Roger wiped his tears away and bent over his suitcase that he lifted up from the floor. He shyly looked at Brian.

“I know that you tried your best to cheer me up for the last two days, and that you managed to make smile at least a bit and... You made me forget about my mood, many times, but as you could see, it went back fast. Anyway, thank you for all you did, thank you for everything, really. You're someone good, Brian. You really are. But you won't have to bother doing that anymore.”

“Why? I told you we were in it together!” Brian shouted, standing up abruptly. “I told you I would stay by your side unless you didn't want me anymore!”

Suddenly, the guitarist's eyes widened.

“You... You don't want me anymore, is that it?”

Freddie and John held their breath, waiting for Roger's answer. They were so nervous that they unconsciously held hands too. Roger sniffed and slowly shook his head.

“I think... I think it's over, Brian.”

Suddenly, the house fell silent. Brian's eyes widened as he felt like he had just been stabbed right in the heart. His voice seemed like it had disappeared. Roger sniffed and quickly stepped outside, slamming the door behind him. John walked up to the door but once again, Freddie caught him by the arm. This time, John shook it to free himself and ran after Roger in the street.

“Roger! ROGER TAYLOR!”

Roger spun round; his face was red and his fist clenched over his suitcase. John ran up to him and placed his hands on his shoulders.

“Roger, this is total nonsense! What's the real reason, huh? How can you realise such a terrible thing after four years of dating? I don't understand you!”

“Do you think I understand myself? And the situation?”

His answer baffled John. The latter shook his head and removed his hands from Roger's shoulders.

“At least are you sure of what you're doing?” he sighed. “Because Brian shouldn't have false hopes, y'know.”

“I am sure.”

John heaved a long sigh, uncomfortable at the thought of what state Brian was in in the house. He crossed his arms and looked up to the sky.

“So it's real, huh? You're definitely leaving?”

“I am.”

“D'you know where you're going?”

“I haven't got a clue, but I'll find something.”

John nodded.

“How about the band?”

“If you still want me in it, which I doubt, I'm not quitting. Otherwise, it's okay if you find another drummer.”

“As for me, I still want you in the band. I just can't conceive the idea of Queen with a new drummer. If it's the case, I'll quit too.”

“Thanks, mate.”

“Take care of yourself, huh?”

“I will, don't worry. I'll give you a call as soon as I find somewhere to go. Take care of yourself too.”

Roger stepped forwards and the two bandmates bear hugged. Roger patted John's shoulder and smiled weakly and joylessly at him. Then, he took his suitcase and spun round, walking away from him. John watched him disappearing at the corner of the street and sighed. He felt like he was about to cry, but he had to refrain. There was someone else in the house that needed comfort more than him. He walked up to the door of the house and closed it behind him.

Roger disappeared at the corner of Melbury Road and could feel John's eyes on him. Once he was out of his field of vision, he leant against a wall and started to sob, his face in his hand. It was a mess. A total mess. But it was better for Brian, he could not lie to him. He managed to calm down and shook his head. He could not go back. So he crossed the street and headed for a bar. No matter what bar. He wanted to drink. His life with Brian was over, and he had to carry on. It was the right decision.