This is the last chapter of the story. Next update will be the epilogue. Thank you so much for sailing with my baby Rael and Benj in this roller coaster journey :)

Closure

Sinundan ko siya ng tingin habang naglalakad siya palayo. I was still contemplating on whether I would follow him or just let him be when I saw him stopped walking. Napatuwid ako sa pagkakatayo nang makitang hinarang siya ni Greg kaya siya napatigil sa paglalakad. The latter whispered something to him but he only shook his head.

Kuryoso, mabilis akong lumapit. Ano naman kayang pinag-uusapan ng dalawang 'to? Can't they talk in a normal way? Bakit may pabulong-bulong pang nalalaman? Oo, medyo maingay dito sa bar pero pwedi namang i-type sa cellphone, ah?

Greg's eyes widened when he saw me up close. Pero hindi gaya noon na para siyang tutang naduduwag lagi sa presensiya ko, halatang malakas na ang loob niya ngayon sa pangiti-ngiti niya sa akin.

"Benj! Kumusta?" Bati nito. "Long time no see!"

Ediwow.

"Muntik na kitang hindi makilala! Hindi ko kasi suot salamin ko!"

Sino bang nagtatanong?

"I heard you're an engineer now?"

I wanted to scoff but I stopped myself. Lalo na't hinarap na rin ako ni Rael na suot-suot pa rin ang masamang tingin sa akin. Kaya imbes na gumawa na naman ng bagay na ikasisindak ni Greg, nginitian ko na lamang ito sabay tipid na tango.

Lumipat ang tingin ni Rael sa kanya at saglit na nagtagal bago mabilis na ibinalik sa akin. His angry eyes bore on me like daggers before he started walking away again. Napakamot ako sa kilay at kaagad na sumunod. Ano na naman bang ginawa ko?

Behave na nga ako, eh!

"Where are you going? Uuwi ka na?" I asked curiously as I tailed behind him. May iilang tumatawag sa amin pero parehas kaming walang pinapansin. Ako, dahil naghihintay sa sagot niya at hinahabol siya. At siya, ay dahil nagmamadaling maglakad, gusto akong iwan. "Your friend is still there. Iiwan mo?"

Marahas niya akong hinarap. Muntik na niya akong mabangga dahil sa biglaan niyang galaw. Mabilis akong nagtaas ng dalawang kamay kahit na bahagya akong natatawa. Why is he suddenly so mad?

"Ah, so you remember that he's my friend?" he fired, his tone is already on the edge. He sounds frustrated and borderline jealous. Pero hindi naman kasi siya seloso kaya imposible rin.

Mabilis akong nagmaang-maangan. "Ay, hindi ba? Kapatid mo?"

He didn't answer.

Ibinaba ko ang mga kamay ko at hinintay ang malutong niyang mura. I can feel it coming. The way his eyes flared with so much anger right now, I just know that he would say those two words, or worst, shout it to my face. My eyes moved down to his lips, anticipating for it, but instead of cursing me like what I'm expecting, he again turned his back on me and proceeded on resuming his exit.

I chuckled at myself. Tang ina. Bakit mas lalo yatang gumwapo 'tong ex ko? Siguro... pinaghandaan niya 'tong pag-uwi ko no?

"Teka, sandali..." I couldn't help but chuckle. "Mag-usap muna tayo, hmm?"

Hindi siya sumagot. I sighed heavily.

My strides slowed down when I realized that he probably wants to be alone right now. Halatang iniiwasan niya ako at ayaw na makausap. It's obvious that his patience on me is running thin and I have no plans of stretching it beyond endurance. Baka masuntok na niya talaga ako. Kalalabas ko lang ng ospital. I can't take a punch right now.

I massaged my temple as I took a deep breath. I guess, it's a bad decision to follow my friends' advice. Imbes na makausap ko nang matagal si Rael, nagalit lang tuloy sa akin at nagwalkout pa.

Amnesia pa more, Benj. Siraulo ka.

I was about to also leave the private bar that Miggy rented for his party when someone called me. It was Gabbi who looked so shocked but at the same time, happy to see me.

Sanaol masaya. Ako kasi hindi, eh.

"Benj? Oh my god, nice to see you! Kailan ka pa umuwi?"

Hindi ako sumagot. I only smiled courtly at her. I really have no appetite to catch up with anyone now that my main prospect in this event has already left. Gusto ko na lang din umuwi sa bahay at matulog. O baka maghotel nalang ako ngayong gabi at bukas na umuwi.

"I thought Miggy was just bluffing when he told Kuya that you're finally coming home! Is this for good na ba or short vacation lang?"

Gabbi looked enthusiastic while trying to have a conversation with me. Samantalang pakiramdam ko ay sumasakit na ang ulo ko sa dami ng tanong niya. I wanted to be polite, and try to answer some of her questions but I guess, my social battery has already run out.

Gusto ko nalang umuwi at matulog.

"Ah, I'm a civil engineer now..." Sagot ko sa tanong niya.

"Really? Wow, nice!" She cheered.

I nodded and forced a smile too.

"Do you want to find a seat so we could talk more comfortably?" She suddenly asked. Malapit na kasi kami sa exit ng bar at nakatayo lang kami roon. "Medyo sumasakit na kasi 'yong paa ko, eh. High heels really sucks but I need it because of my height!"

I was about to decline her offer when someone suddenly stood beside me. Bahagyang namilog ang mga mata ko nang mapagtantong si Rael iyon. Matalim pa rin ang tingin sa akin pero umaayos naman kapag kay Gabbi na nakatingin. I pursed my lips a bit, not feeling happy about it. Ang bait niya talaga sa iba pero pagdating sa akin...

"Your brother is looking for you..." Baling niya kay Gabbi matapos ako tapunan ng masamang tingin. Nanatili naman ang tingin ko sa kanya.

"Huh? Kasama ko pa lang si Kuya kanina—"

"Hinahanap ka nga." Rael said firmly, leaving Gabbi with no choice but to left us two.

He really looks good. Kung sobrang gwapo niya na dati, mas lalo na ngayon. He matured, of course. Kung noo'y mas matangkad ako sa kanya, ngayon ay parang magkasing-height na lang kami. Lumaki na rin ang katawan niya. His neatly ironed grey suit looks so perfectly fit on him and his broad shoulders are more noticeable because of it.

Sobrang bango niya rin.

Tang ina. What sin did I commit in the past life to deserve this kind of torture?

"Are you okay?" he turned to ask me. "I saw you touching your forehead. May masakit ba?" Mas humina ang boses niya na halos bulong na lang. Hindi ako nakapagsalita kaagad sa gulat at mangha. I saw how his eyes softened as he worriedly surveyed my face. Pakiramdam ko ay parang pinipiga ang puso ko ngayon sa ipinaparamdam niya sa akin. How can he do this to me? How dare him look at me like that?

I sighed harshly to stop my tears from forming. I then gritted my teeth and looked away when he moved closer to check me. I really hate this feeling. On how he was so close to me, yet I couldn't hold him. It was damn tormenting... Like a punishment for a crime I didn't even commit.

"M-May masakit ba?" Ulit niya. "Benj..."

Napasinghap ako bago nag-angat ng tingin. His worried eyes welcomed me. I hate it. Bakit siya nag-aalala? If he really didn't love me before... that concern right now... what was that for?

"Why are you worried?" Matapang na tanong ko. "Why do you care so much about me?"

Natigilan siya at tila nahimasmasan. My irritation only grew because of that. Bakit hindi niya kayang sagutin? Anong pumipigil sa kanya? Kailangan ko pa bang lumuhod at magmakaawa para sagutin niya lang ang tanong ko?

"I thought you already left. Yet you came back... Why?" I asked again, trying to corner him. "Nakita mo lang na kinausap ako ni Gabbi, nagbago kaagad ang isip mo... Bakit? Can't take your jealousy?"

Hindi rin naman siya naniniwala na nakalimutan ko siya kaya bakit pa ako magpapanggap? It was childish, anyway. It was a good plan before, so I could escape from the arranged marriage with Ellaine, but not now that he's in front of me. It was impossible to forget him so what's the point of doing it now that he's already here?

"Why aren't you answering?" Naiinip na tanong ko.

He swallowed hard and took a step back. Even though he already knew beforehand that I didn't have amnesia, the sudden change of my approach still made him astounded.

Pissed at the stretching distance between us, I decided to cut it by coming near him. The noses of our shoes touched, and my body was already hovering at him. Sinubukan niyang umatras pa pero wala na siyang mapuntahan. Makakatakas pa naman siya kung kaya niyang lumusot sa dingding.

"Bakit hindi muna ang tanong ko ang sagutin mo?" he finally responded, but with another question.

"Hmm? What is it?" I asked attentively. Bahagya niya akong itinulak sa dibdib para lagyan ng sapat na distansiya ang pagitan namin. I sighed and let my hand rest on the wall behind him so I could support my body from leaning too much towards him.

"Bakit ka pa bumalik?" Malamig na tanong niya. Ang tigas rin talaga ng taong 'to.

"Ano sa tingin mo?" I shot back, challenging him.

Umiling siya, his eyes were laced with disappointment and pleading. "I told you to not come back anymore, right? You agreed. You swear that you will never see me again! Kaya bakit nandito ka ulit?"

I smirked even though his words are starting to get sharp again.

"Bakit hindi ako babalik? Pagmamay-ari mo na ba ang buong San Vicente?"

He glared at me but I only watched him submissively. "I'm serious here, Benj!" he insisted as if I'm blind to notice it.

Tumango ako. Seryoso rin ako, Rael. Kaya wala ka nang magagawa. If you hate my presence that much, you have no choice but to bear with it. Hindi mo na ako mapapaalis.

Because if my hunch is right... that you only made me leave for my own sake, then we fucking wasted so many years apart.

"I have so many questions. I came back so I could hear the answers from you... Hindi ako aalis hangga't hindi ko nakukuha lahat ng sagot na kailangan ko. Hindi mo na ako maitataboy ulit. I'm not the same Benj anymore. The one who would do everything you asked for..."

Hindi siya nakapagsalita. Ilang segundong katahimikan ang bumalot sa amin bago ako nagpasyang magsalita ulit. I will have it this way. Kung ayaw niyang magsalita, ako ang magsasalita para sa aming dalawa.

"You're single. Right?" Tanong ko.

Subukan mong humindi, Rael.

"Right?" ulit ko.

Pagak siyang natawa. "Why is that even included here? And you really had the audacity to ask me that when between us two, it is you who has a fiancée?" the bitterness in his tone didn't escape my ears.

What is it? Is he fucking... jealous?

I languidly licked my lips and shook my head to assure him. "Wala na. I won't marry her. I have no plan of marrying her from the very start. Now, answer my fucking question. You're single, right?"

Hindi siya sumagot. I was about to ask for his answer again when someone called him. He immediately craned his neck to check and I saw how he got alerted all of the sudden. He tried to get away with me but I didn't bulge. Nanatili akong nakatayo sa harapan niya, walang planong padaanin siya.

"Benj, saglit lang..."

I frowned at his pleading. Importante ba 'yan?

"Benj..."

"Who is it? Tell him that you're not available. We're still talking." Marahang utos ko kahit ang totoo'y hindi ako natutuwa na pipiliin niyang harapin ang kung sino mang tumawag sa kanya kaysa sa tapusin ang pag-uusap namin.

"Who is it? Is he important?"

Nahuli ko ang pagdadalawang-isip sa mga mata niya. He suddenly looked confused and unsure of what to do. Tumuwid ako sa pagkakatayo at mabilis na nilingon kung sino ang pangahas na disturbo sa amin.

And there I saw his rumored ex, Jeo.

Yeah, I'm sure that was him. Because how could I ever forget that motherfucker's face?

My jaw clenched before I returned my attention to Rael who's now watching me intently. Dahan-dahan ay inalis ko ang pagkakaharang ng braso ko sa gilid niya para bigyan siya ng daan. I wanted to curse myself for letting him go but I also don't want to cause a scene here.

"Five minutes..." I said grimly.

Rael sighed heavily upon hearing it. Mabilis na nagbago ang isip ko dahil doon. "No, just three minutes. I will wait in my car. Finish your talk quickly. Di pa tayo tapos mag-usap."

Halos hindi kumurap ang patpating si Jeo nang dumaan ako sa gilid nito para makaalis doon. He suddenly reminds me of the high school version of Greg. Payat at halatang takot sa akin. But he looked worse. Siya 'yong tipong baka kung nilapitan ko para bantaan ay baka manginig na sa takot.

Now that I saw him up close, I was suddenly unsure of those rumors of them being in a long term relationship. Mukhang malabo. And I was too heartbroken to just believe everything right away.

Kasi sa gwapo kong ito? Ipagpapalit niya lang ako sa gano'n? That's just ridiculous.

Pumasok ako sa kotse ko at eksaktong tumawag si Alec. I immediately answered the call as I activated the hazard lights so Rael could spot my car immediately when he went out later.

"Sir, napuntahan ko na po 'yong bahay na pinapatingnan mo sa akin. Wala po do'n ang bagong may-ari pero nakausap ko po 'yong dating may-ari dahil sa malapit lang din nakatira..." Balita sa akin ng assistant ko.

"Bagong may-ari?" Naguguluhang tanong ko.

"Opo, sir. Nabanggit po sa akin ni Mrs. Guzman na wala siyang kaalam-alam na naibenta na pala ng yumao niyang asawa ang bahay na iyon halos isang taon na rin ang nakalilipas... Nito niya lang din daw po nalaman, pero patay na 'yong asawa niya."

What the heck?

Plano ko pa namang bilhin na ngayon 'yong bahay dahil mas gusto kong dito tumuloy sa bayan kaysa sa umuwi pa ako sa bahay. Syempre, kasi balita ko'y dito na sa bayan naglalagi si Rael. At ayon kay Diego, malapit lang doon 'yong clinic nito.

"But... I already rented that house for a year's worth of payment.  Nagbayad na ako. Hindi lang ako natuloy dahil pumunta ako ng Maynila..."

"Kakausapin ko po bukas ang bagong may-ari, Sir. Baka po pumayag na ibenta sa inyo ang bahay."

I nodded. "Sige... Thank you, Alec."

"Walang anuman, Sir."

Itatanong ko pa sana kung ano ang pangalan ng bagong may-ari pero natanaw ko na ang paglabas ni Rael sa bar kaya kaagad ko nang ibinaba ang tawag. Saglit niya lang iginala sa parking ang tingin at kaagad niyang nahanap ang sasakyan ko dahil sa nakahazard na ilaw. Tahimik siyang naglakad papalapit at inabot ko naman ang pintuan ng passenger's seat para buksan.

He sighed when he saw it. Mukhang wala sana siyang plano na pumasok dahil papunta sa gilid ng driver's seat ang lakad niya pero nang makitang binuksan ko ay napilitan na lang siyang sumakay.

I watched him wear his seatbelts with satisfaction written on my face.

"We're not leaving yet. Mag-uusap pa tayo." I calmly informed him. Bakit parang kating-kati siyang umalis na? Can't take my presence, eh?

"What did you two talk about?" I curiously asked as I deactivated the hazard lights. I then opened the dome lights so we could still see each other even in the darkness of the parking lot. "Let me guess... some sort of closure?" Pang-aasar ko sa kanya kahit parang sarili ko lang naman ang naaasar.

Mabagal niya akong hinarap. "Closure for what?"

I shrugged. He looked irritated with our topic but I'm glad he's now responding well with me. "Hindi niyo na kailangan ng closure? Sabagay..."

Iritado siyang nagtaas ng kilay.

Tang ina. I guess, I should stop with this closure thingy. Mahirap na at baka sa akin niya pa tuloy mai-apply. Ayoko. Hindi ko 'yon matatanggap. Aanhin ko 'yang hinayupak na closure? Walang magmomove on sa pamilyang ito.

Bahagya siyang tumikhim.

"How's your injury?"

Umiling ako kaagad para panatagin siya. "I'm fine now."

Nanatili ang mapanuring mga mata niya sa bandang noo ko, kung nasaan ang natamo kong sugat mula sa aksidente na ngayon ay pahilom na. Hindi na rin masyadong kita kasi natatabunan ng buhok ko.

But then his hand moved to find it. Bahagya niyang iginilid ang mga hibla ng buhok kong nakatabon doon. Halos sikilin ko ang sariling paghinga dahil sa ginagawa niya. How could I ever move on from a man like him, huh? If he's like this?

Imposible talaga. At wala rin naman akong plano.

"Hindi na ba kumikirot?" Marahan niyang tanong.

I shook my head like a kid.

"You should clean it often..."

I pursed my lips when I realized something. "Is this a free check up?"

"I'm just telling you to take care of yourself, Benj. Lalo na't... palagi ka nalang napapahamak." He answered in a serious tone before he moved away. Umayos siya sa pagkakaupo at diretsong tumingin na sa harapan. "I really hope that is the last time that I will hear the news about you being rushed to the hospital. Ayokong... maulit pa 'yan."

I licked my lips and nodded. "You're right... But that's not what I want us to talk about, Rael. I want... to talk about us."

Dahan-dahan siyang napabaling sa direksiyon ko. The vulnerability that he's trying so hard to mask off with his coldness is suddenly peeking through his eyes.

I smiled a bit and reached for his face. "Whatever your real reason for dumping me years ago, valid or not,  I don't care about it now. I came back so I could find the answers, but I also understand if you're not yet ready to tell me about it. Maghihintay ako... hanggang sa maging handa ka nang sabihin sa akin ang lahat..."

A lone tear rolled down on his cheek. I immediately wiped it away using my thumb. I let out a sigh as I stared at his hazel eyes.

We wasted so many years, and I can't afford to waste any more time now. I can't lose him again.

"But in one condition..." I whispered like a prayer. "Let's get back together. Please take me back, love..."

- - -