“Rudhra, I want to confess to you about something.” I said.

“It’s okay Sams. I know your real weight. It doesn’t change my feelings for you.”

“Aww thank you so much Rudra. Me too. When you cried like a baby after watching the horror movie,  it didn’t change my feelings for you at all.” I said.

“I cried because the ghost reminded me of you.” He said.

“She was prettier.” He added, his face contorting into that horrible devil grin.

Ohmygawwd! When would this devil stop spewing venom?

“I know. But she doesn’t love you like I do.” I said.

Bad-dum-tssss

A sudden bout of shyness flashed his face, and he looked distracted in the chair he was sitting. “I was lying, Sams.”

“Huh?”

“You are the most prettiest.”

How to win an argument against Rudhra: Randomly unnerve him with sudden spells of romance.

“Rudhra, you are the only one who thinks that way. I was just about to say that earlier. I have a confession to make. I don’t know how to pose for a picture.” I said.

“That’s not true, just smile like you always do.” He said.

“Easy for you to say, Rudhra. When I smile I really look like if Shaggy from Scooby Doo got a stroke.” I said, showing the picture my friend Meera had taken of me during one of our sleepovers.

“Well, I know for a fact that that’s not true.” He said sincerely.

“Aww. Really?” I asked him.

“No. You look just like Popeye when he gets beat up by the fat guy with the beard.”

Too bad those spells of romance worked only for a few moments.

“Wow. Thanks Rudhra. That’s the best compliment you’ve ever given me.” I said dryly.

He pulled out the Nikon camera from the bag, and turned it on. “Why are you so angry for? Popeye was my most favourite cartoon in the world.”

“Thanks, Rudhra.” I said. “Now, will you teach me how to pose?”

He spent the entire hour trying to teach me to pose.  He told me his ‘tips’, like sometimes we had to keep the chin up, and sometimes we had to keep it down, depending on the lighting. But in fact, he was making it much more complicated than it already was.

‘Posing for a photograph is a complicated science. Not many understand it.’ His words.
I laughed at his words for ten minutes.

“Rudhra, you are so useless. I haven’t learnt anything at all.” I mean, it had been an hour and I was still making Derpy Derp face.

“You are a hopeless cause, let me tell you.” He said, with that annoying devilish grin on his face. “You should just let me stand next to you all the time.”

“Why ?”

“Everyone will look at me and not at you!” He said, his devil grin contorting into a menacing devil laugh, that spread across half his face. He had to be destroyed immediately, and for good.

“Really, Rudhra.” I said, inching close towards him. “I am not sure I’ll be able to just stand  still when I am next to you..”

“Then?”

“You know how sometimes, when I want something, I really really want it?”

He gulped. “Wh-what do you mean?”

“You know what I mean, don’t you?” I said, whispering into his ear, and trailing a finger along his angular jaw.
His reaction was almost comical to look at.

“Sams, you are the most beaut-“

Yayy! It was a wonderful world!!
I mean, sudden spells of romance didn’t last long but they were my best choice of offensive weaponry against Rudhra, the horriblest, meanest gargoyle I’d ever ment. I mean, they were almost always my best bet. I could always count on it, like a vehicle running on reserve.

But as I was having these wonderful victory visions and Rudhra brought his face so close that it was only inches from mine, the doorbell rang.

“Aww man.” We said at the same time. I was about to run to get the door but he pulled me back.

“Ten seconds kiss.” He said.

“No way. They’re at the door.” I said. His face turned unreasonably sad.

“Okay. Two seconds kiss then.”

His face turned brighter than the lightbulbs arrangements lit all night with stolen electricity during Dusshera festival.

After five seconds, I opened the door to reveal my family standing anxiously.

“Why did take such a long time to open the door?” My sister asked me.

“I was washing the dishes.” I said.

“Samsssss.” My sister’s kids yelled, hugging me, and quite suffocating me in the process.

“Then why aren’t your hands wet?”
My sister asked me.

“I dried them with a towel, and hence the delay in the opening of the door.” I said.

“Funny.” She said snarkily. “There is not a towel in sight.”

It was at this precise moment that Rudhra decided to emerge from the depths of the sofa headrest.

“You. Why are you here always?” My sister said angrily, pointing a finger at him.

“Son. It’s been such a long time since I met you. I wanted to talk to you about something.” My dad said, even though he’d seen him just day before yesterday. Rudhra and my dad were engaged in a talk which I couldn’t make out.

My sister looked as though she’d let out fumes out of her ears. “Are you jealous because my fiancé lives next door and your husband comes home once in four months?” I asked her.
Bingo!

“Rudee!” She declared, and because she simply had no retort, thought of another ways to torture me. “Here, look after my children.” This girl!

My mother who was uncharacteristically silent all this while, looked at me up and down. “Tomorrow is your engagement day and you’re still like this?”

“You basically just answered your own question. My engagement’s tomorrow, not today.” I said.

“Get ready!” She declared.

What!

I had already known that my family was always crazy, but apparently I had underestimated the entire level of it. It was now blow-out-of –the nozzle high.

“Huh?”

“You heard me.” She said.

“If by getting ready, you mean getting the facial and the like, I got them already.” I said. Meera had practically carried me off to the saloon by saying logical things that I should get them manicures and pedicures at least before my engagement day.

“Okay.” My mother said, satisfied. “Where is your mehandi?”

“No offense, but it’s such a hassle...” I began, and looking by the reaction on my mother’s face, I knew I was just about to shoot myself in the face, and immediately backtracked. “ It’s such a hassle so I thought you’d put them for me.” I recovered quickly.

“Oh! Let me do it. You know I am such an artist when it comes to mehandi.” My sister said, grabbing her chance, one that she’d let pass no matter what.

It was the worst mehandi ever. Actually, to call it mehandi would be insulting, for my sister and her kids simply doodled stuff on my hands to their heart’s content.

“Can I?” Rudhra asked me. “I really want to do this to you.”

“Please, Rudhra...” I said.

Rudhra also doodled on my hands.

......

Surprisingly, I got completely ready on time the next day, despite constant disruptions and commotions. For my engagement I wore a green saree with an orange blouse. Rudhra wore a green shirt to match with me. It wasn’t like we wanted to match with each other, but the photographer, Rudhra’s friend said it’d look nice in an album.

I was just about to enter the hall when Rudhra’s mother came up to me and asked to see me in person alone.
I was so surprised, and even little bit afraid that she’d declare that I was not worthy of her son at all, at the last minute, just like I saw in those everyday serials.

“Here, Sam dear.” She said, and handed me a cake. “If you touch this cake, a hand will come out of this cake and punch him hehehehe.”

Ohmygawddddd! This truly was a devil family! I mean, what was the deal with them? Did they escape from the depths of hell to preach and propagate evil stuff? I loved it!

“I don’t think that’s possible, aunty. If I bring it up to him and ask him to cut the cake alone, he’s going to know it’s a prank.” I said. He knew me too well.
“Then we’ll just leave it here in this room. As soon as the ceremony ends, he’ll come here to change, and that’ll be his end.”

“Awesome!”

The ceremony went well. Surprisingly, I enjoyed it much more than I thought I would. Long lost friends met days ago, relatives last met weeks ago were welcomed with happy tears of joy.

I had no other chance than to take Rudhra’s advice and smiled like I always did. To be honest, I decided to my fate up to the gods above. If they were real, and if they were really nice as they have been described, they’d make my pictures less weird.

“The food is awesome. This vada especially.” Rudhra said.

“The kheer too.”

“Today was quite fun, despite being engaged to you.” He said.

“Same goes here. I thought I’d hate it, but I really did love it. I guess it makes a difference when we’re the star attraction, for a change.” I said.

“Speak for yourself. It’s all routine to me.” Rudhra said.

It was when the photographer came and suggested that we do the horrible cringe pose where the couples feed each other.

Food+Sams+Decent photo= not possible.

But anyway, we had to do it, and we took a small bite of our vadas. An idea struck me.

If I could make him do a derpy derp face, the picture would be weird due to him, and not me. Or at least not just me alone. 

I just had to execute my Rudhra Disarming Invincible Weapon of Mass Destruction- sudden random love declaration attack.

“I love you, Sams.” He said.

What! No!!

This devil was more evil than me! I couldn’t believe he’d also thought of the same plan! Ohmygawwd! What was I supposed to do now?

Collateral damage.

“I love you too, Rudhra.” I said, as seductively as I could. But unlike every other time, somehow Rudhra’s ear’s turned so brighteningly red that it made me blush. I felt my cheeks hot.

“Is the food too spicy? What’s gotten into the both of you all of a sudden?” The photographer enquired.

“Umm...nothing, nothing..” We managed.

It was our own little secret.

PS:
The victim of the cake was my sister.

Author's note:
Happy holidays, guys! May this festive season bring you property and happiness.

And if you love the story, please press the little star below!
I hope you guys are doing well. I love every single one of you!