jisung stayed petrified on the spot after the sentence his godfather had pronounced.

your parents were murdered. by dark danger.

a wave of shock and disbelief hit jisung, making his vision blurry for a few seconds.

"t-they... w-what... h-how...?"

without noticing it, tears started rolling down his cheeks, crashing on the pavement miserably as jisung's brain tried to process what had been said.

heesun opened his arms, pulling his godson in a hug to comfort him – and also comfort himself – of the loss of loved-ones.

"i'm sorry jisung..." heesun mumbled, crying too.

"t-they were m-murdered...?" jisung cried in crook of his godfather's neck.

"dark danger... they... they bombed your house." heesun told. "i don't know how... but they found your parents' identity and address. they killed them..."

jisung cried harder, holding tightly onto his godfather as the older man hugged his godson back.

they stayed like this for long minutes, sobbing on each other's shoulders as they realised what it meant.

they had to be twice more careful now.

dark danger was closer than ever to get rid of them.

the dream manager stood inside of the house, behind the window as he looked at the two family members crying their hearts out. the sight was heart-breaking, and he couldn't imagine what any of them felt at the moment.

jisung had lost both of his parents. they were dead. forever...

by the manager's side were the members sleeping in the dream dorm, looking as pained as their manager at the sight of jisung and his godfather breaking down.

none of them knew how hard it was, but they could guess that it would maybe be the hardest part of jisung's life.

"t-they died... for real...?" jaemin asked, his eyes never leaving jisung's frame.

"yeah..." the manager nodded. "jisung's godfather told me their house had crashed down because of the poor foundations. they died under the weight of the walls and the roof."

the boys gasped collectively as sadness took over them, making some of them cry silently as well.

"do the others know about it?" jeno asked, referring to the other members.

"jisung's godfather told me when i was with the other managers, so they surely told the others." he explained. "i'm not sure chenle knows though. he's at his house."

"we should maybe tell him..." sungchan told.

"are you sure?" their manager raised a brow.

"chenle and jisung are close. i think chenle is the person that will help jisung the most." renjun nodded.

"you're right." the dream manager said. "i'll go and tell him. he'll surely want to come and see jisung."

and so, they got back to staring at jisung and his godfather, who were now having a conversation, their faces still full of tears, and their hearts surely broken...

⇄

jisung lied down on his bed, his face hidden in his pillow as he tried to keep his sanity despite everything he had learnt on this peaceful sunday afternoon.

it had been approximatively an hour since heesun had come to tell him the news.

and jisung wasn't in a better state.

after around half an hour of crying in heesun's arms and talking about everything that would happen now that the head of death park was dead, jisung had walked back into his dorm while heesun visited other members of the mafia to organise the death ceremony that would need to take place.

as soon as jisung had stepped into the dream dorm, he had been engulfed in a bear hug by his members, and he couldn't help but cry loudly again as he leant against their bodies.

they left jisung alone after the younger booy asked them too, and so, jisung locked himself in his and jaemin's shared bedroom.

jisung cried again on his own, lying on his bed and screaming into his pillow loudly to evacuate the hatred and sadness that had taken over his mind.

his parents were dead. jisung wouldn't see them anymore... jisung wouldn't hear them anymore... jisung wouldn't hug them anymore... jisung wouldn't kiss them anymore... they were gone. forever...

if jisung thought he had lost the ability to have emotions because of all the mafia shit he was involved into, he realised now that he was a fool for believing that.

the young boy was completely devastated by the sudden news.

sure, someone's death wasn't just regular news, and a parent's death was even worse. but jisung never imagined he would be in this state after a family member's death occurred.

he had learnt not to feel anything anymore.

he had been trained to kill people mercilessly, and to torture them, without caring about they begging or their threats.

he had been taught to forget about compassion, and not to put himself in someone else's shoes.

and all of this made him a dreadful man, who didn't fear death nor having blood on his hands.

but he shouldn't have been so confident about that.

right now, jisung was in a state he never imagined he would be. he looked worse than ever.

he was sure he looked even more pathetic that that woman he had killed a few weeks ago in front of her husband, to pressure him.

he was so weak... and he wasn't supposed to be. he had to be strong and emotionless, not caring about anything else that happened around him.

but sadly, he was pathetically sad, like a weak chick.

jisung tried reassuring himself, pretending that his parents' death wasn't the only thing that had him in such a state. of course not.

the young boy was eaten by apprehension, and this was what had him this miserable.

jisung was now the leader of death park.

it had to be this.

his parents' death affected him for sure, but he was affected more by all of the consequences of their death.

not only was jisung an orphan, but he was also now at the head of the most powerful mafia of korea, at 19 years old.

and that was what made him break down completely: realsiing that his 'peaceful' life had just ended, and that everything was about to become more complicated than it already was.

"j-jisung...?"

the younger boy lifted his head, looking at the closed door from where a soft voice had spoken.

"yes...?" he asked, voice raspy because he had been crying for a while.

he hated himself for that, and he would never agree for anyone to see him like this. so pathetic...

"c-can i come in...?"

jisung recognised chenle's voice.

actually, he could make an exception to the 'he would never agree for anyone to see him like this' part.

chenle was the only member he would accept seeing right now.

he knew that the chinese male wouldn't judge him for his state.

"y-yes..." jisung replied, turning his back to the door so that chenle couldn't see his puffy face right after entering the room.

however, he never heard chenle entering the room.

"i-it's locked..."

jisung sniffed, standing up and wiping his face with his hands to get rid of the stray tears.

he had forgotten he had locked the door, because he didn't want anyone to walk in on him.

the youngest boy walked to the door, opening the lock and pulling it open slowly.

as soon as the door was opened, jisung met eyes with chenle, and he realised the chinese male was on the verge of tears, making him feel a pang in his heart and almost start crying on the spot.

but he held himself. he wouldn't allow himself to sob right now, when the other dream members were looking at him sadly too.

he pulled chenle inside quickly, closing the door behind their backs.

"j-jisung, i'm sorry..." chenle said, looking up at jisung as he choked on a sob.

jisung started crying again, for the nth time in the past hour, and chenle did too, lunging forwards and pushing his body against jisung's.

the tall boy wrapped his arms around chenle as both boys started sobbing loudly in each other's arms.

jisung tightened his embrace around the chinese boy, inhaling his calming scent as he tried not losing his sanity.

but it was hard... and it had always been.

not just today, with his parents' death and him becoming a mafia leader... every other day too...

it was hard to hide your real identity to people you had learnt to love.

it was hard to lie to people when you knew they trusted you.

it was hard to be idolised by people when you were born to do illegal things.

it was hard to live a double life.

it was hard to act as if everything was alright when nothing actually was.

but this was jisung's life, and he had chosen it.

"i'm s-so sorry, jisung..." chenle mumbled after his and jisung's sobs had died down.

both boys had been crying in each other's comforting embrace for long.

they hadn't realised that the night had set, making them barely see each other in the dark room.

"it's okay. we can't do anything about it." jisung replied, pulling away slowly from the hug and standing in front of chenle.

"y-you don't deserve this..." chenle continued, looking at jisung with eyes that held so much care and love. but the room was too dark for jisung to notice that.

he had no clue that chenle was as affected as him – if not more – by jisung's parents' death.

sure, they weren't his parents, but chenle had developed a liking for jisung, and he knew that the loss of his parents would destroy him on the inside.

he was in that state more because of jisung and the effect the death would have on him. he didn't want his jisung to be sad and depressed. he wanted to help him feeling better knowing that his parents would never be there for him ever again.

chenle had seen how much jisung's parents cared about him. they always wanted to see jisung and to spend some time with him, even in the middle of their schedules. jisung often needed to leave the dors to go and see his parents... but now, this was all in the past... jisung didn't have parents anymore, and this would surely create a big hole in his life.

but chenle wanted to be there for him. he wanted to make jisung understand that life wasn't fair, and that if his parents wouldn't be there for him again, he'll try his best to be the one there for him.

"well..."

jisung started thinking for a second. did he really not deserve all of this?

he wasn't so sure...

jisung lied to the whole world about who he really was. and not only did he do that, but he also did so many illegal things that should have him locked behind the bars for the rest of his life.

so, yeah, he did deserve to suffer, just like he made the others suffer – directly and indirectly.

but chenle couldn't know that... chenle was too pure to understand all of this...

"sometimes life decides to make things hard for you..." he simply said, looking at his dearest friend.

once again, jisung realised how much of a horrible person he was, standing in front of chenle and lying to him.

chenle was a pure soul, and jisung had always said he didn't deserve to live in such a rotten world. but sadly, it was the case...

jisung had tried staying far from him at first, because he didn't want his illegal activities to stain the younger's pureness... but the further he tried to get from chenle, the faster the chinese male would come back to him.

it was as if... as if they were meant to be together... as if jisung's rotten persona was meant to be balanced by chenle's pureness... and he somehow hated the fact he could ruin the innocent boy.

jisung had forgotten the idea of staying far away from chenle at some point, and that's when they became close friends, because of the amount of time they spent together.

it was often chenle doing things or talking while jisung looked him passively and carefully.

chenle was always giddy and bubbly, and it was a perfect balance with jisung who was rather silent and reserved. but none of them seemed to mind, they liked the way things were – of course, they did; chenle even developed a crush on his dear silent friend.

"well, life should decide to make things harder for criminals rather than attacking innocent boys who deserve nothing but happiness."

jisung ignored the way his heart missed a beat at chenle's words, because as comforting as they seemed to be, they weren't meant for jisung.

chenle didn't know who jisung really was...

if only he did... he would know that life did make things harder for criminals...

because that's what jisung was.

a criminal, hidden under the mask of an idol...