"lele, kun bought your favourite ice cream!" jaemin declared, entering the chinese's room, only to find the younger lying on his bed, face down on his pillow. "lele?"

jaemin took careful steps towards the bed, and he sat down on it, just next to chenle.

"lele, are you awake?"

chenle answered by groaning loudly the sound being muffled by the pillow.

"come with us in the living room then. we're going to watch a movie with the hyungs while eating some ice cream."

chenle gave another groan as an answer, jaemin not understanding anything.

"lele, i can't understand anything you're saying when you have your head in your pillow."

the chinese male rolled around his bed, his eyes finding jaemin's caring ones.

"i said i wasn't hungry, hyung." he replied, his face contorted by sadness and pain.

"you really need to eat, chenle..." jaemin sighed.

"what's the point of eating anyway?"

"well... to keep you alive, first." jaemin explained, caressing the boy's white locks.

"but do i even want to be alive?"

jaemin didn't answer immediately.

this chenle had been the chenle they had had to deal with for the past year.

since jisung had left them twelve months ago, chenle had been completely depressed, refusing to eat plenty, and neglecting himself.

jisung's disappearance had sucked life out of chenle, and the other nct members were painfully aware of it.

"chenle, you can't say that..." jaemin sighed, pulling the younger closer to his body and allowing him to wrap his arms around jaemin.

"j-jisung left me..." chenle sniffed. "h-he left us..."

"and he did it against his will." jaemin tried comforting the boy. "trust me when i say he looked completely broken when he left. i assure you he didn't want to leave all of us behind."

"b-but he did..." chenle cried harder.

"he did that for our own good, le." jaemin explained. "he knew how nct's reputation would have been tarnished if he was still here among us, which is why he preferred disappearing."

chenle sniffed again, wetting jaemin's shirt as he used the fabric as a tissue.

"now, you deserve to be happy, chenle. you need to take your mind off things to live your life fully, okay? things are going to get better, i promise." jaemin spoke reassuringly as chenle nodded. "now let's go to the living room with the hyungs? you can choose the movie."

"okay..." chenle mumbled as jaemin stood up from the bed, lifting chenle with himself and putting the boy down on the floor.

jaemin took chenle's trembling hand in his own and he guided the boy towards the living room where the majority of the members were already sitting on the couches, searching for something to watch.

"look who decided to join us, hyungs." jaemin declared with a smile, pulling chenle to his side.

this made all the members coo loudly.

chenle was rarely out of his room, and despite going out of schedules and interviews, most of the members rarely saw chenle.

it was a miracle that the boy was out in the living room when all the other members were here.

"aw, chenle..." sicheng exclaimed, seeing his roommate out of their shared room. "come in my arms..."

sniffling one last time, chenle walked over the couch and jumped into sicheng arms, allowing himself to cuddle into the chinese boy's embrace.

sicheng's arms were like chenle's safe place now. whenever he would feel bad at night, chenle simply needed to walk over sicheng's bed, and the older boy would happily invite chenle in his bed for cuddles, granting him a good night of sleep.

yes, chenle didn't live with his mother in an apartment anymore.

lots of things had changed the past year with everything that happened.

first of all, lee sooman had been arrested as a partner of dark danger in chenle's kidnapping. and with his imprisonment, sm entertainment collapsed, and all the kpop idols that were part of it were left alone.

the popular groups didn't have too much trouble getting recruited by other huge record companies; however, it was a bit more complicated for nct.

after the dramatic events and scandals in which nct was involved, no one wanted to have nct under their record, causing them to stop their activities for around a month. but thankfully, a small and new record house decided to give them a chance, and offered them a 5-year contract, which nct accepted immediately.

that is how they were given a new dorm: a huge 3-floor house in which all the members lived together happily.

the whole kpop industry was greatly impacted by the events of the past year, but this was nothing compared to what nct lived. with each day going on, nct could see their number of fans decreasing.

but this didn't prevent the boys from creating more content, and participating in new interviews. sure, everything was more delicate, and the members were very careful with what they were saying, but they tried to pursue their activities despite the news of jisung being part of a mafia.

even though nct's popularity was going downhill, the boys didn't give up, and they kept doing what they loved – singing and dancing together – because nct had become a family for all of them, whether people liked it or not.

"has anyone seen taeyong today?" taeil asked, looking around the room and not seeing his leader.

"no, he said he had things to do today." johnny replied. "he'll be back at the end of the day though."

"oh okay." taeil nodded. "so, what are we watching?"

"i don't know, chenle, what do you want to watch?" sicheng asked, ruffling the sad boy's head comfortingly.

"the godfather." chenle replied in a small voice.

"are you sure?" johnny raised a brow, having already seen this movie a couple of times and knowing the topic quite well now.

"yes." chenle replied, keeping his eyes on the black screen of the tv.

"alright, the godfather it is then..." jaemin sighed before turning the tv on and searching for the movie in the data base.

"okay, while you play the movie i'll go get some snacks and drinks for all of us." kun declared. "johnny, i'd appreciate your help, please."

"why me...?" the giant groaned. "why don't you ask- "

"hyung." kun said sternly, glaring at johnny and doing a head motion towards the kitchen.

"okay, i'm coming."

kun headed towards the kitchen, soon followed by johnny who was dragging his feet on the way. once they were there, kun started pulling out bowls from the cupboards and fill them up with different snacks. johnny took soda bottles out of the fridge and plastic cups for them to drink in.

"i'm getting more and more worried about chenle..." kun whispered, catching johnny's attention.

"we all are." johnny hummed, counting the cups to make sure he had the right number – because they were 22 boys living in the dorm, any dinner or movie night looked like a college party, everyone needing to have their names on their glasses to make sure they weren't taking sips from someone else's cup.

"i thought that he was going to get better, but i'm starting to realise that things only are getting worse right now..." kun declared, glancing at the boys in the living room.

"yeah, but we can't really do anything about it..." johnny sighed. "he's in love with jisung. it's visible. and learning that jisung had lied to him didn't make him lose his feelings."

"but we need to find a solution." kun replied. "hadn't taeyong said he had an idea?"

the american shrugged. "taeyong always know what to do, but i'm not sure he has a particular idea on this very problem..."

kun sighed, placing all the bowls on a tray to bring everything to the living room in one go.

"i can't bear seeing him looking this unhappy." the chinese male declared. "i mean, this is affecting all of us. we care about him dearly, and seeing him in such a state depresses us as well..."

"i know." johnny approved. "but none of us can make him smile like jisung did. so, we have to bear with it..."

"isn't there a way we'll be able to find jisung? maybe if we convince him to come back, he will, and everything will be solved..." kun stated after thinking for a few seconds.

"do you really think jisung would come back after everything he did? sure, we all forgave him, but this may not be evident in his mind." johnny explained.

"honestly, i don't know..."

"and i don't know either." johnny told. "that is why all we can do is wait. people say time heals broken hearts, so, let's hope that it will work with chenle's..."

⇄

"hyung, i'm not sure this is a good idea." jisung stated as taeyong parked the car on its parking, a few minutes away from their new dorm.

"what isn't a good idea?" taeyong frowned, unbuckling his seatbelt.

"this whole 'coming back' thing." jisung explained. "i can't just do that."

"and why not?" taeyong raised a brow.

"because... i've been lying to them for ever, and i abandoned them. and now, i'm coming back without an explanation? things don't work like that."

taeyong inspected jisung's body, noticing how he was nibbling at his bottom lip and how his hands fidgeted with the hem of his shirt nervously. "jisung, are you stressing again?"

"yes, i am stressing a lot right now!" the boy admitted.

"there's no reason for you to be nervous." taeyong rolled his eyes.

"really now?" jisung snorted. "i'm about to show up as if nothing ever happened in front of my band members whom i have abandoned and lied to, and in front of the boy i love whom i abandoned and lied to too!"

"yes, and i'm telling you that you shouldn't stress like that because everything will be alright." taeyong assured before going out of the car, making jisung widen his eyes.

the younger unbuckled his seatbelt with a trembling hand before getting out of the car as well and letting his leader close the car.

"hyung, this cannot go well. what if they hate me? and what if they insult me and push me away?"jisung asked, completely alarmed as taeyong started walking towards the dorms.

"this won't happen."

"you never know, hyung!"

"well, if one of them raises a hand on you, i'm sure you'll be more than able to defend yourself on your own." taeyong pointed out. "and anyway, if one of them does that, i won't hesitate myself to intervene."

"and bust your cover? hyung, i'm not worth it." jisung told sincerely. he didn't want his amazing leader to get busted because of him. jisung had already caused enough trouble to nct.

"well, if my cover gets busted, then i'll leave nct, and we'll both create our own group that we'll call 'illegal' and write a song called 'mafias'." taeyong spoke uninterestedly. "there always are solutions."

"hyung..." jisung whined, his heart racing more and more with each second passing.

"but none of this will happen jisung." taeyong sighed. "i'm telling you that the others want you back. i wouldn't be here if they didn't. i want you to feel happy, not rejected, you know?"

jisung groaned nervously. "how can you know that they are not just saying that? maybe they'll want to kill me as soon as they see me."

"jisung. one of the things you learn when getting in a mafia is manipulation and reading people."taeyong explained. "and i learnt those things just like you did. so, you need to trust me when i say they sincerely want you back." he continued before making a turn towards a huge house. "we're here."

jisung gulped nervously, following taeyong.

"i-i'm not sure i can do it." jisung stopped in his tracks when taeyong approached the front door.

"jisung, you didn't do all this road to chicken up so close to seeing your members again." taeyong told.

"hyung, they won't accept me."

"how did you manage to lead a whole mafia with those insecurities of yours? i'm seriously wondering." taeyong crossed his arms over his chest.

"this is not the problem right now- "

"the problem right now is that you don't trust yourself." taeyong spoke wisely. "i am telling you that you have nothing to worry about."

"b-but- "

"park jisung." taeyong said sternly, pulling the younger boy closer. "you were raised in a mafia, you learnt how to kill and to torture people without a single care in the world, you had to deal with a double life for years, you even became the head of the biggest south korean mafia... and now, what? you're telling me that you're scared of walking in front of people who miss you?!"

jisung blinked. taeyong wasn't entirely wrong.

he had done much more complicated things in his life.

he had done much more dangerous things in his life.

he had done much more stressful things in his life.

he couldn't chicken out right now, when the only thing he needed to do was to walk in a house and greet people that he identified as his family.

but, was this really what stressed him that much?

"hyung, i'm s-scared chenle will r-reject me..." jisung admitted.

taeyong placed a hand on jisung's shoulder. "chenle needs you. he hasn't been the same since you left. so, i'm not telling you that everything will be easy and that he will throw himself back into your arms right away. but i'm assuring you that he still loves you, and that with time, you will finally be able to continue whatever has been going on between you two."

gulping the lump that had formed into his throat, jisung nodded slowly.

his leader really knew how to use his words...

"so?" taeyong raised a brow. "are you ready to go?"

"no." jisung shook his head. "but i need to."

"you sure do." taeyong nodded. "i'm proud of you, ji."

and with that said, taeyong pulled his keys out and opened the front door, walking inside with jisung on his heels.

both of them kicked their shoes off next to the door, and taeyong the headed towards the living room where they could hear voices. jisung stayed a few seps behind, his heart beating madly in his chest in nervousness.

"oh, taeyong hyung is back!" jungwoo's voice rang through the house.

"hyung! where did you go? you were gone all day!" mark asked as all the conversations inside the living room stopped.

taeyong noticed the empty bowls of snacks on the table, and the tv that had been paused during the credits, sign that they had watched a movie altogether.

"i went to get something for us." taeyong informed with a small smile.

"really? what is it?" doyoung asked.

the leader then stepped aside, grabbing jisung's arm and pulling the boy towards him so that he could be visible to all of the members.

jisung's cheeks became red as he lifted a trembling hand, waving it. "h-hello..." he mumbled, staring at his members who had their mouths hanging open.

that's when he regretted showing up, seeing how all of them would probably just be distant and avoid him, or worse, being scared of him and what he could do to them.

"jisung!!"

however, the last thing he expected was to have them running towards him and tackling him in a bear hug, all at the same time.

yeah, this is what he absolutely wasn't expecting, and yet it is what happened.

jisung smiled brightly, hugging them back the best he could as he identified all of them – unconsciously searching for a particular member.

none of them had changed, they still looked the same – except for their hair that had been dyed for their comebacks. taeil, johnny, yuta, kun, doyoung, ten, jaehyun, winwin, jungwoo, lucas, mark, xiaojun, hendery, renjun, jeno, donghyuck, jaemin, yangyang, shotaro and sungchan... they were all here, so happy to see him again... but chenle wasn't part of them.

"hyungs...? what is- "

and there he was. the boy that had jisung all over him.

zhong chenle had just entered the room, looking as beautiful as ever despite his miserable state.

his white curls were messy, and almost hiding his beautiful eyes. his nose was still decorated with the shiny diamond and his lips had been moisturized perfectly. his skin was as pale as snow, and his cheeks much hollower than before, but it made him look gorgeous in jisung's eyes.

the members all stepped away from jisung as chenle entered the room, knowing how chenle had been the more affected by jisung's disappearance.

jisung looked at chenle in the eye, getting lost and mesmerized by their depth and beauty. even after a whole year... even when they looked so tired... chenle's eyes were gorgeous... and it was almost like falling in love all over again for jisung, his insides becoming all jittery as his heart kept missing beats.

he was standing in front of chenle... after all this time...

it felt so good, and jisung would want this moment to last forever...

"hel- "

but it seemed like chenle didn't think the same.

as soon as jisung had opened his mouth, fresh tears had formed in the chinese boy's eyes, and he had turned on his heels, showing his back to jisung before running away across the house to his room and slamming his door shut with force.

but the sound of the door slam was nothing compared to the shattering of his heart that resonated through jisung's ears.